From the Vault
Stuffed toys are an easy target for domestic Animals who cannot or will not control their hostile tendencies. — Elinore E. Owl, analyst
Following a set of events that some have described as “bizarre,” two domestic Dogs were last seen entering police headquarters. The Dogs, whose names have not been released, were taken in for questioning immediately following the preliminary investigation of the Crab’s demise.
Witnesses at the scene said both Dogs were seen hovering around pieces of the Crab’s stuffing, which lay scattered on the walkway in front of the Reek-o-Rama.
Detectives called to the scene estimated the time of devastation to have been between 9:30 and 10:00 am EDT.
At press time, it was rumoured that neither Canine had a suitable alibi for the time period.
“It was exactly the time that they go for their walk together,” said a witness who asked not to be named for this report. “They were probably waiting to be put on their leashes,” he said, confirming suspicions that the Dogs were known to each other. Whether or not they were known to the Tartan Crab has yet to be determined.
“It’s all part of this new generation of Dogs,” the witness continued. “They’re not properly trained and they’re forced to spend too much time alone. It’s natural that anger would start to build up in them.”
This view was echoed by resident Park analyst, Elinore E. Owl.
“Stuffed toys are an easy target for domestic Animals who cannot or will not control their hostile tendencies,” she said.
Nestor, for his part, was reported in stable condition after receiving treatment for shock at Dr. Bourru’s office. Nestor was found in an immobilized state at the scene of the crime on Saturday morning. The Tartan Crab had been the Cat’s pet for little more than a week.
One witness, in tears, appealed to the public to find the perpetrator of this heinous crime as soon as possible.
“As you know, Nestor was abandoned at a young age, and he was just getting to the point of being able to bond again. This is certainly going to make things that much harder for him,” she said.
Meanwhile, people gathered in The Park today to mourn the Tartan Crab’s untimely passing. A makeshift monument was set up near the Wishing Well and a small pond has been renamed in his honour. A fund has also been established to support research that might help prevent similar acts of violence in the future.
“We cannot risk becoming a carbon copy of the Human world,” said one Giraffe.