The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) has taken the unusual step of issuing a health warning to The Park’s newly-awakened hibernators: skip this year’s Return of the Nut ceremonies. The full statement reads as follows:
In our opinion, the stresses due to this year’s shortened period of torpor, in combination with the sudden increase in temperature, pose a serious health risk to our newly-awakened hibernating citizens. On the advice of experts in the field, we urge The Park’s hibernating communities not to attend this morning’s Return of the Nut ceremonies and to remain in your homes for the next few days in order to ensure your full recovery.
The DWBS further advised those who should not or cannot attend the ceremonies that, for the first time in Park history, the Return of the Nut celebrations will be broadcast in their entirety on Park Broadcasting Corporation Television (PBCTV). The broadcast begins at 10:30 a.m. Park time.
Giuliana Imelda Lontra, the 2014 Keeper of the Nut, is scheduled to swear the ancient oath at 11:00 this morning.