Original Publication Date: 1 July 2012 The Beasts of Burden will be singing a different tune come Autumn when the doors to their new pub open in The Park's trendy east end. The six-Animal band, whose hits include “Donkey Hot,” “Pack of Lies,” and “The Day the Oxen Rose,” has been little heard of since their sold-out performance here late in the Summer of 2006. But now, according to their manager, they're ready to make a comeback. "They … [Read all...]
Breaking News
Wednesday Rewind: Has Anixi Agrarian Jubilee become too politicized?
Original Publication Date: 21 May 2012 A day after the most successful and best-attended Agrarian Jubilee in history, a menacing question hangs in the air: is the annual celebration becoming too politicized? Organizers of the event, which marks the beginning of The Park's growing season, sniff at the suggestion. "I see no evidence of that [politicization] at all," said Miriam Wapiti, the celebration's chief organizer, at a post-event … [Read all...]
Wednesday Rewind: Court reaffirms right to remain stupid
Original Publication Date: 18 April 2016 In a landmark decision handed down this morning, Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park's Superior Court kept alive the vision of The Park's founder and reaffirmed the right of every Animal to remain stupid. The decision, which will be posted in full outside the Court House tomorrow, came after a deliberation of more than five months. The decision was in response to an action brought by a collective … [Read all...]
Wednesday Rewind: Immigration rules to favour those with short lifespans
Original Publication Date: 22 May 2013 An investigation conducted by The Mammalian Daily has revealed that proposed changes to The Park’s open immigration policy include a plan to favour shorter-lived species for citizenship. The ideas for a new immigration policy form part of the "modernization initiative" that the 2013 Archons committed themselves to upon assuming office on January 16, 2013. According to Professor Ludwiga Saimiri of … [Read all...]
More Park News
What’s up in May is bound to be merry!
Spring is busting out all over, so there’s plenty to look forward to in The Park in May. Put these events on your calendar: May 1-31: Park Media's Month Without Metaphor If you care about … [Read All About It Here...]
Wednesday Rewind: “Job fair” a scam approved by 2012 Archons: report
Original Publication Date: 18 April 2013 An undercover investigation by reporters working for The Mammalian Daily has exposed an ugly truth about The Park's upcoming "job fair." According to a … [Read All About It Here...]
Wednesday Rewind: Archons mull proposed changes to Mating Dance rules
Original Publication Date: 9 April 2013 With the annual Park Mating Dance less than a month away, it seems that those planning to attend aren’t the only ones who are experiencing a heightened level … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
