HEALTH WARNING The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) has taken the unusual step of issuing a health warning to The Park's newly-awakened hibernators: skip this year's Return of the Nut ceremonies. The full statement reads as follows: In our opinion, the stresses due to this year's shortened period of torpor, in combination with the sudden increase in temperature, pose a serious health risk to our newly-awakened hibernating citizens. On … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—Barkettes’ songs to be translated into different Animal languages
Thisbe and the Barkettes have embarked on a new project: the translation of some of their biggest hits into a number of different Animal languages. In a statement released yesterday by their manager Hilde Blaft, the group explained their reasons for making the historic decision: "After much reflection and in the service of interspecial harmony, Thisbe and the Barkettes have decided to release some of our most beloved songs in a number of … [Read all...]
OTD in 2016—No-biting rule suspended for police at Saturday’s Return of the Nut: gossip site
DEVELOPING STORY The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) has agreed to suspend the longstanding no-biting rule for Park Police who are on duty at Sunday's Return of the Nut ceremonies, according to the gossip site headsNtales. In a post dated this afternoon, the site's co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo says a source told her the decision was made in consultation with the Archons and the Park Police Force. The source cited "the recent … [Read all...]
OTD in 2016—Gunnar Rotte, Douglas Cheetah to debate tomorrow on Yannis Tavros show
Two days before The Park celebrates the Return of the Nut, Gunnar Rotte and Douglas Cheetah will face off against each other on the Yannis Tavros show in a debate on the merits of sortition. In a press release issued this morning, Toro Talk Radio, Tavros's home station, confirmed the debate, which will be broadcast live an hour after his usual call-in show. In an advertisement that ran in both social and traditional media, the radio station … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2017—Off the docket: Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon postpones February court
BREAKING NEWS The office of Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon issued a statement today advising all concerned parties that the trials and hearings over which he was to preside in the remaining days of … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2016—Politics, violence mar celebration of the birth of The Park’s first leader
The celebration of the birth of The Park's first leader turned ugly yesterday when political arguments among residents resulted in violence that sent a number of Animals to jail or to hospital. The … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—On the anniversary of Jor’s birth, The Park contemplates its zoocratic future
The speeches were long, the weather was frigid, and the musicians packed up too soon, but as Animals gathered yesterday to honour Jor, The Park's first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy, what … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
