A week after The Park hosted its 19th annual Toe-Hair Contest, a new study out of the University of West Terrier's School of Medicine confirms what many have observed, but few will admit: winners of the unique competition go on to have, as one researcher put it, "bright futures," while contest losers experience abnormally difficult struggles in their lives. "It's perplexing, but our numbers confirm our long-held suspicions, which were based on … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2013—Excuse me, Meister…I have a job for you!
Here's the scoop, straight from the mouth of Chuck the Guck Man: Guck is back and it's bigger than ever! The only problem is, there's not much of it available at the moment. "It's not often that a businessman asks you not to order his products, but that's what I've been forced to do," says Chuck, the owner of The Park's oldest and most prestigious Guck business. "We're experiencing a shortage. We're back-ordered to the end of the Summer and … [Read all...]
OTD in 2017—Bedfellows’ singer pleads at Mating Dance: “Help me save my family!”
Hugo Percevejo, backing singer with the group PolyTICKS and The Bedfellows, has asked for our help to save the members of his family who reside outside The Park. In an impassioned plea at yesterday's Mating Dance, the singer explained that a large contingent of his family has lived outside The Park for decades, but that a recent "war" on his species had made that choice untenable. "They are under constant siege, having to move from house to … [Read all...]
OTD in 2013—Funding cuts, ignorance threaten Barkettes’ legacy: CMA
The Canine Music Association is pulling no punches in its most recent criticism of The Park's underfunding of cultural endeavours. In the latest issue of its newsletter, which is sent to CMA members and affiliates, the Association voiced its strongest attack yet on The Park's Finance Office (PFO) and its policies. Calling PFO officials "incompetent and ignorant," the Association stopped just short of accusing the PFO of corruption. "We're … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2015—Gecko credits “stick–to–itiveness” for victory in 2015 Toe-Hair Contest
Not all of us have what it takes to win first prize in the annual Toe-Hair Contest. But according to this year's winner, it takes more than just long toe hairs. S. Irving Gecko, who took first prize … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2012—Polar Bear finally scoops first prize in Toe-Hair Contest
Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear finally managed to scoop top prize in The Park's Toe-Hair Contest. After five previous attempts, The Bear was declared the winner of the 17th annual Contest at 11:56 … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—The Barkettes at the Wishing Well: tickets go on sale today!
NEWS FLASH! Tickets for the second concert in Thisbe and the Barkettes’ ” Bring Your Own Bone,” tour go on sale this morning at both the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre and the Wishing Well. In a text … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
