The Mammalian Daily

Original Publication Date: 19 July 2016 And the survey says: GoUnderground. The Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS) announced the results of its consumer survey today and the venerable hibernation outfitter has won the title of "most hospitable Park shop." At a short ceremony this morning, PASS president Wellington Whistlepig affixed a plaque to the shop's façade as he congratulated Director of Sales, Nafari Bongo, on the … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 8 July 2011 Beloved Park actress, Millicent Hayberry, is said to be "resting comfortably, though still in shock" after she was rushed to hospital after a violent encounter with what some have described as a "rabid" fan. The incident occurred early this morning on the set of the film, "Mixed Nuts." Observers told The Mammalian Daily that the actress, who is in The Park shooting the film adaptation of her successful … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 10 July 2013 Enraged Park Animals are planning to protest formally against the latest move by the 2013 Archons to promote tourism in The Park. The third prong of the so-called "three-prong tourism strategy" that was laid out by the 2012 Archons calls for a change in Animals' behaviour "to make tourists feel as if they are a welcome and valuable addition to our lives." In order to effect this behavioural change, … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 09 September 2015 Some of The Park's charities are demanding a say in the distribution of funds raised by the Beats of Burden Musical Festival. In an open letter published on Monday and addressed to the Beasts of Burden, the festival's creators and hosts, the presidents of six of the Park's charities call for a meeting with the Beasts and the festival's financial managers to discuss fund allocation. "We wish to … [Read all...]