The Mammalian Daily

Original Publication Date: 29 July 2013 Four days before the release of the 2014 budget, the Archons announced at a press conference that they have commissioned the construction of a public square to be used for hosting "protests, celebrations, and other events that involve the mass gathering of Park Animals." Before taking questions from the media this morning, the Archons' press secretary Balthasar Alouatta confirmed that the Archons had … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 12 November 2015 Holstein Fashion, the parent company of Designs by Holstein, has signalled its intent to move into the hibernation market. In an announcement issued today, company president and CEO Balbina Ko confirmed that the successful fashion house will be expanding its reach in the coming year. "We are excited to announce the birth of two new Holstein Fashion subsidiaries, 'Nation and 'Nator," the … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 19 July 2016 And the survey says: GoUnderground. The Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS) announced the results of its consumer survey today and the venerable hibernation outfitter has won the title of "most hospitable Park shop." At a short ceremony this morning, PASS president Wellington Whistlepig affixed a plaque to the shop's façade as he congratulated Director of Sales, Nafari Bongo, on the … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 8 July 2011 Beloved Park actress, Millicent Hayberry, is said to be "resting comfortably, though still in shock" after she was rushed to hospital after a violent encounter with what some have described as a "rabid" fan. The incident occurred early this morning on the set of the film, "Mixed Nuts." Observers told The Mammalian Daily that the actress, who is in The Park shooting the film adaptation of her successful … [Read all...]