The Mammalian Daily

Original Publication Date: 7 May 2013 Here's the scoop, straight from the mouth of Chuck the Guck Man: Guck is back and it's bigger than ever! The only problem is, there's not much of it available at the moment. "It's not often that a businessman asks you not to order his products, but that's what I've been forced to do," says Chuck, the owner of The Park's oldest and most prestigious Guck business. "We're experiencing a shortage. … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 20 August 2014 The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) announced today that it is moving ahead with its plan to track Human foot traffic in The Park. At a press conference held this morning, DWBS Director of Public Relations Cornelius Kakapo confirmed that the 2014 Archons had signed off on the controversial plan after several weeks of intense debate. "This is a major milestone," said Kakapo. "We are … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 8 July 2014 Crimes of a "specist nature" are on the increase, according to a report compiled by Park Police. The report, which was presented yesterday at an ad hoc meeting of the Department of Well-Being and Safety, was compiled by Park Police's Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) and the Interspecial Investigations Unit (IIU). It includes raw crime statistics as well as an analysis of expressed attitudinal … [Read all...]

Original Publication Date: 15 August 2012 One of The Park's most controversial musical groups, The Feral Four, has announced that it will donate the proceeds from its new song to the CatsCare Foundation, in aid of formerly domestic Cats who have found their way to freedom in The Park. The song, which will be released as a digital download in the late Autumn, is titled, "I Saw Your Collar in the Hall". No other information has been … [Read all...]