The Park Weather Office finally has offered a response to Animals' complaints about the delay in the arrival of Spring weather this year. But it's not an explanation that is satisfying to many. In the statement released yesterday, the PWO says that transport difficulties were responsible for Spring's tardiness. The statement, which was issued to all media, read in part: "We would like to inform Park Animals that, after a lengthy investigation, … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2012—”Mating Dance Blues” are real, says expert
If "woe is me" describes the way you're feeling after Sunday's Mating Dance, take heart. A new study shows that at least a third of those who attend mating events such as Sunday's dance suffer some kind of psychological letdown in the days and weeks that follow. The results of the study, which was conducted by Dr. Chloris Cougar at the University of West Terrier's School of Medicine, also suggest that finding the right mate may be more … [Read all...]
OTD in 2014—Toe-Hair Contest winners have “bright futures,” while losers struggle: study
A week after The Park hosted its 19th annual Toe-Hair Contest, a new study out of the University of West Terrier's School of Medicine confirms what many have observed, but few will admit: winners of the unique competition go on to have, as one researcher put it, "bright futures," while contest losers experience abnormally difficult struggles in their lives. "It's perplexing, but our numbers confirm our long-held suspicions, which were based on … [Read all...]
OTD in 2013—Excuse me, Meister…I have a job for you!
Here's the scoop, straight from the mouth of Chuck the Guck Man: Guck is back and it's bigger than ever! The only problem is, there's not much of it available at the moment. "It's not often that a businessman asks you not to order his products, but that's what I've been forced to do," says Chuck, the owner of The Park's oldest and most prestigious Guck business. "We're experiencing a shortage. We're back-ordered to the end of the Summer and … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2017—Bedfellows’ singer pleads at Mating Dance: “Help me save my family!”
Hugo Percevejo, backing singer with the group PolyTICKS and The Bedfellows, has asked for our help to save the members of his family who reside outside The Park. In an impassioned plea at … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2013—Funding cuts, ignorance threaten Barkettes’ legacy: CMA
The Canine Music Association is pulling no punches in its most recent criticism of The Park's underfunding of cultural endeavours. In the latest issue of its newsletter, which is sent to CMA members … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—Gecko credits “stick–to–itiveness” for victory in 2015 Toe-Hair Contest
Not all of us have what it takes to win first prize in the annual Toe-Hair Contest. But according to this year's winner, it takes more than just long toe hairs. S. Irving Gecko, who took first prize … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
