BREAKING NEWS At a press conference held this morning, Chief Inspector Maurice Addax of the Park Police’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) took to the podium to confirm reports of an early morning raid on a Sneak-a-Snuggle that recently opened outside The Park. Flanked by Inspector Antonia T. Fossa of the Interspecial Investigations Unit (IIU) and C. Astrid H. Ant, Head of The Park’s Ant Security and Intelligence Service (ASIS), … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—List of participants grows daily as May’s Month Without Metaphor nears
The list of participants in Park media's second annual Month Without Metaphor (MWM) continues to grow, as newspapers, radio and television stations, and even web sites sign on. "We are very pleased with the growth this year. We are particularly pleased with the addition of the gossip web site headsNtales. I think their interest proves that this initiative is well worthwhile," says Month Without Metaphor organizer Alvin Tinamou. As of today, the … [Read all...]
OTD in 2015—KwikLiks: The Park’s first “flash groomer” opens its doors
The Park's newest grooming house has opened in a flash and that's not just a metaphor. As its name suggests, KwikLiks offers quick grooming or, as its proprietress Maitea Behi says, "Flash grooming for the fast set." At the grand opening yesterday, Behi beamed as she offered treats to the steady stream of new customers. "In our business, we like to say, 'A treat is worth a thousand licks,'" she joked, as she directed … [Read all...]
OTD in 2016—Sierpinski Squirrel appointed head judge of 2016 Toe-Hair Contest
Sierpinski Squirrel will serve as head judge of the 2016 Toe-Hair Contest. At a press event held this morning at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, Aintza Kanariar of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, made the formal announcement: “We are thrilled to announce that the very competent Sierpinski Squirrel has agreed to serve as head judge of the 2016 Toe-Hair Contest,” she said. “As perhaps The Park's premier financial advisor, … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2012—Dear Noreen: Can Humans make Animals sick?
DEAR NOREEN: I don’t know if this lies within your area of expertise, but I have been wondering: can Humans make Animals sick? For almost a year, I have been participating in The Park’s Adopt-A-Human … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2016—Court reaffirms right to remain stupid
In a landmark decision handed down this morning, Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park's Superior Court kept alive the vision of The Park's founder and reaffirmed the right of every Animal to remain … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—Mating Dance to offer pre-registration, free counselling to endangered species
Organizers of the 2015 Mating Dance will be offering members of The Park's endangered species a pre-registration package that includes free genetic and psychological counselling services, it was … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
