The 2013 Archons are feeling the heat from Park citizens just days after announcing that they commissioned the composition of an "official" Park song. Their intention was to have a song created "that would evoke feelings of pride and loyalty in Park Animals...something stirring that would excite all of us and make us feel appreciative of living in The Park." That was the explanation given by the Archons' press secretary Balthasar Alouatta when … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2017—Alvin Tinamou, mate confirm separation
It's official and it's forever: Alvin Tinamou and his mate Adela have separated permanently. In a brief statement released this morning, the publisher of The Avian Messenger and organizer of Park media's annual Month Without Metaphor said it was "with profound sorrow" that he advised that he and his mate Adela have decided to "pursue their lives separately from now on." The pair, who have known each other since they were young, suffered … [Read all...]
OTD in 2014—Weather Office to Polar Bear Poetry Picnickers: prepare for a soggy bottom
The Park Weather Office has issued a warning to those who plan to attend this year's Polar Bears' Poetry Picnic: prepare for a soggy bottom. "This year's extended Winter season, coupled with record amounts of precipitation and a delayed thaw, have conspired to leave The Park a mushy mess," the PWO said in a press statement released this morning. "Every year presents its challenges," said the event's chief organizer Seymour K. Worthington Polar … [Read all...]
OTD in 2013—Police investigate infiltration of “Friends of Hieronymous”
Something is rotten inside the LAdeH ("Les Amis de Hieronymous"), otherwise known as The Friends of Hieronymous, and Park Police have been working to uncover its identity. At a press conference held this morning, Serge Malinois, spokesAnimal for Park Police, outlined details of an "intensive" investigation that, he said, has been ongoing since February 12 of this year. "The timing is significant, of course," Malinois said, referring to the … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2013—Park Museum puts out call for personal items, memorabilia
The Park Museum, set to open later this year (barring any unforeseen delays), has put out a call for "personal items of historical interest" that Animals may be in possession of, including items they … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2014—Mammalian Daily signs on to media’s “Month Without Metaphor”
It's a bold idea that is sure to make waves. And, this morning, managing editor Orphea Haas confirmed that The Mammalian Daily is coming on board. "That is music to our ears," said Alvin Tinamou, … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—Tab Tricolore: “Working on this art installation has saved me.”
It's rare for Tab Tricolore to talk publicly about his feelings, but that's just what happened yesterday. During an interview with Yannis Tavros on Toro Talk Radio, the celebrity chef and … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
