DEAR NOREEN: I was adopted a year ago by a pair of Humans. Almost everything is perfect, but one thing puzzles me. From the beginning, these Humans have had the strange habit of placing their lips on the top of my head. This action lasts only a second and it culminates in a soft, smacking sound. Now, I am not a puppy; I have been sniffed, chewed, nuzzled, and licked, but I have never had anyone plant their lips on me. Can you tell me what the … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2016—Memes of Production, Beasts of Burden to join pop-up at Cackling Goose tonight
BREAKING NEWS The Memes of Production and The Beasts of Burden will join a number of their fellow musicians and some Park poets, spoken word artists, and storytellers at a special pop-up event tonight at The Cackling Goose Tavern. The free event, which will be held in honour of Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM) was announced on GooseBook late this morning by owner Brantford Gander. By noon, it had received forty thousand … [Read all...]
OTD in 2014—Two years on, striped and spotted Animals see little economic progress
Two years ago, economic figures released by the Park Finance Office confirmed definitively that The Park's striped and spotted Animals were having a more difficult time finding full-time employment than those who had coats of solid or mixed colours. Now, after the release of the PFO's latest report, it appears that little has changed. The statistics, which are known colloquially as the “Employment and Enjoyment Stats,” are collected annually … [Read all...]
OTD in 2012—Food production scandal rocks Park
Portions of The Park's farmland are being used to produce food for consumption by Humans who live outside The Park, Police have concluded. At a press conference held early this morning, B.N.L.Valerian Beetle, Head of The Park Police Force's Undercover Operations Unit (UOU), confirmed the findings of the Unit's year-long investigation. "This has been a long and intensive investigation, conducted over the past twelve months and it includes … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2013—Tricolore book “strong contender” at 2013 literary festivals
Renowned Park chef Tab Tricolore could take home two or more prizes from this year's literary festivals for his book, "The Feral Roots of our Festive Cuisine." Part recipe book, part memoir, and part … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2015—Police confirm early morning break-in at Holstein Fashion’s main factory
BREAKING NEWS Park Police have confirmed that an early morning break-in occurred at the main factory of Holstein Fashion on Monday. At a press conference held this morning, Inspector Maurice … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2014—Data Retrievers: Meet Park Police’s new partners in Tree hacking investigation
BREAKING NEWS UPDATE Park Police announced today that they have partnered with a private firm of data Retrievers to aid them in their investigation into April's Data Tree hacking. At a press … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
