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OTD in 2016—TMD managing editor schedules press conference Monday morning

April 16, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Extra! Extra!BREAKING NEWS

The Mammalian Daily’s managing editor Orphea Haas has scheduled a press conference Monday morning to respond to the ongoing criticism of the paper’s policy of hiding the names of its reporters.

In a statement released at eleven o’clock this morning, Haas announced that on Monday morning at nine o’clock she would make a “full response” to the ongoing pressure regarding the matter.

In a separate incident, Toro Talk Radio host Yannis Tavros took to Twitter this morning to begin his campaign of publishing the names of all known Mammalian Daily reporters. A spokesAnimal for Haas’s office said the Tavros tweet was not related in any way to her decision.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, On This Day Tagged With: Mammalian Daily managing editor, media transparency, Orphea Haas, reporters' names

OTD in 2016— Tinamou blames TMD’s Haas for drop in Month Without Metaphor participants

April 14, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

MonthWMThree’s usually a charm but it looks as if Park media’s third annual Month Without Metaphor could end up being anything but unless more media outlets sign on to participate.

The drop in the number of committed participants is “alarming” says Alvin Tinamou, who is one of the organizers of the May event.

“At this time last year, we were going great guns, to use an apt metaphor,” the publisher of The Avian Messenger wrote today in an open letter in his own newspaper.

“Our objective in establishing the annual Month Without Metaphor was to encourage Park media to be introspective. Accepting the challenge of reporting for a month without using metaphors means having to take a very close look at the way we communicate with our readers and how honestly we tell our stories. What Haas has done is to change our focus. Instead of looking at ourselves, many in Park media are looking at The Mammalian Daily and asking why Haas feels justified in holding her paper to a different standard. I challenge Haas to name her journalists and to stop distracting her readers by using tactics such as a ban on Human jokes,” he wrote.

Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP), says he agrees with Tinamou.

“Enough is enough,” he said in a radio interview this morning. “We’ve been calling for this for years and I think the time is right for Haas to make the change. We all [Park media] need to be open and transparent. To use a well-worn metaphor, we all need to be on the same page.”

Month Without Metaphor runs from May 1-May 31. Park media have until the end of April to sign on to participate.

Follow participants on Twitter at sansmetaphore.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day Tagged With: media transparency, Month Without Metaphor

OTD in 2017—Leave it to Felines: How the idea of Animal self-rule took hold in The Park

April 10, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

3d-cover-fierce-urgency-of-miaowTHE FIERCE URGENCY OF MIAOW
Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy
by Pieter N. Paard
372 pp. Marcellin de la Griffe Publishers Ftoo 20

Early in his life, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert—known to us all as Jor—went for a short walk outside his home in the arms of the Human who’d adopted him. As they strolled toward a local parkette, they came upon an old woman who asked them to stop. She pointed to his four white paws, which she called gloves, and tapped him on the head with her index finger.

“Someday,” she said, “you’ll be a very big man in the park.”

Virtually all Park Animals have grown up on that story, so it seems surprising to find it told again in the first few pages of Pieter Paard’s new book, The Fierce Urgency of Miaow: Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy.

But Paard’s retelling of the story is very much in keeping with his book’s title and its premise: that Jor’s felinity was central to his vision of Animal self-rule—and to his ability to have that vision.

“Feline culture, as it were, had developed beyond that of any other species in The Park, to the point where Jor was allowed access to ways of thinking that led him to consider the possibility of establishing Animal self-rule. His challenge was to convince those of other species that such a system of government was achievable; his own kind had been contemplating it for years,” Paard writes in the book’s opening pages.

In this way, Paard breathes new life into the “Doctrine of Feline Exceptionalism,” a set of beliefs about the superiority of Felines that is thought to have originated in the decades before zoocracy. At that time, the Felines of The Park—particularly the “Big Cats”—held sway. Hated by all but their own species, they nevertheless used their great intellectual prowess and sophisticated governing skills to bring about a transformation of The Park (then known simply as “the park”) that culminated years later in zoocracy.

The fact that these big Cats were not satisfied with ruling over the other species but sought to share power with them is what gives credence to the Doctrine.

“It is hard to imagine any other species that would have gone to such lengths to divest itself of its political power in order to allow those they considered lesser to achieve some form of equality,” says Paard, himself a proud Equine.

That it ultimately fell to a small Tabby—and a formerly domestic one at that—to fulfil the Big Cats’ dream is further proof for Paard that Felines are intellectually and morally exceptional beings.

“Jor’s leadership qualities and the rôle his sister Zoë played in his political achievements have been the subject of much study of late. But I believe it was his own instincts and his intuitive understanding of other Animals that helped him to establish zoocracy. Jor’s ability to speak to other Animals at an equal level and his mild manner were just two of the qualities that I believe helped him win over his political opponents. To those Animals in The Park who desperately wanted to believe in a government of shared power, Jor presented a trustworthy ally,” Paard writes.

Much has been written about Jor during this year of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary and many have questioned his motives. But even if, as Yoshita Tigru writes in her book, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King, he did contemplate establishing a monarchy and installing himself as king, respect for his fellow Animals ultimately won out.

“Jor’s legacy is and always will be that he established zoocracy in a Park that most others believed was ungovernable,” Paard writes.

If Paard commits any error in this book, it may be that he emphasizes Jor’s achievements and downplays his sacrifices. But we must never forget that Jor left a good life in a comfortable domestic situation to work toward making life better for all Animals. In that one act, he became a model of the highest moral stature and a hero to all.

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Breaking News, Education, Media, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: book review, Jor, pieter paard, the fierce urgency of miaow, zoocracy

OTD in 2017—Month Without Metaphor executive committee names new director

April 7, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

mwm-posterThe executive committee of Park media’s annual Month Without Metaphor has named Ronald Grouse as director of the annual initiative.

The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst will take the reins on Monday and begin by expanding MWM’s reach through social media, says an announcement issued this morning.

A graduate of the Cuthbert School of Journalism at the University of West Terrier, Grouse has been a frequent guest of Yannis Tavros on his Toro Talk Radio show and a regular commentator during coverage of The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations. He has worked at The Avian Messenger for the past eight years.

Grouse replaces Alvin Tinamou, who was one of the founders of Month Without Metaphor and who served as its director the past three years.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: Month Without Metaphor, Park media, Ronald Grouse

OTD in 2016—Mammalian Daily becomes first Park newspaper to ban Human jokes

April 4, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

BanDEVELOPING STORY

“A guy walks into a bar on two feet…”

So begins the most popular twenty-minute set at The Howler, The Park’s only comedy club.

The joke was written and is performed weekly by Dalmanik, who is widely considered to be the king of The Park’s “new comedy.” But as of today, Dalmanik will not be able to make that joke on the pages of The Mammalian Daily.

That’s because so-called “Human jokes” have now been officially banned by the newspaper.

In an “urgent memo” sent to all employees of The Mammalian Daily on Friday, managing editor Orphea Haas declared that poking fun at Humans, “our fellow Mammals,” is not appropriate in a modern Park.

“While it would be foolish of me to suggest that we in The Park have no issues with Humans, it would be equally foolish to suggest that making fun of them, denigrating and disparaging them, either in comedy, poetry, prose, or news coverage, is appropriate,” the memo says.

As a result, Haas has banned all of the above from The Mammalian Daily’s news pages, web site, radio, podcasts, and all other enterprises connected to Mammalian Daily Associated News Services.

This is the first time any kind of ban on joking or comedy has occurred in any Park media, according to Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP).

“I don’t believe we’ve seen anything like it since the establishment of zoocracy,” he said in a radio interview this morning. “I thought zoocracy valued a free and open press. I think Haas is moving in a very dangerous direction by closing the paper rather than opening it up. What with refusing to name her journalists and this, she is taking a few steps backward and that is very disturbing.”

Not all media experts agree with Akita, though. Ludwiga Saimiri, UWT Professor of Journalism and former director of the Centre for the Incorporation and Integration of Interspecial Values in Journalism (CIIIVJ), issued a statement this morning in which she said she thought this was a positive move on Haas’s part.

“I support Orphea Haas in her determination to keep the news free of frivolous commentary and damaging and reprehensible jokes. Interspecial values demand that we attempt to understand and accommodate those who are different from ourselves. We have a duty to treat every Animal with respect,” the statement said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: ban, comedy, criticism, interspecial values, media

OTD in 2014—Noreen confirms upcoming appearance at book fair for Humans

March 27, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Official Noreen

Noreen will appear at a book fair aimed at the Human market

BREAKING NEWS

It’s official: Noreen will be appearing this Autumn at a book fair aimed at the Human market.

After weeks of rumour and speculation, Noreen has confirmed that she will be participating in a book-signing event at the Toronto International Book Fair.

In a press statement released this morning, the long-time Mammalian Daily advice columnist and Adjunct Professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier acknowledged the controversy surrounding her decision.

“This decision was not taken lightly, but after much thought and reflection. It is my considered opinion that sharing my views with other species, which in this case means the species that is the subject of my book, can only lead to better understanding,” she said.

Noreen, who will be one of many hundreds of exhibitors at the fair, will be promoting and signing her first book, entitled “Lovely to Look At: Twenty Things You Should Know About Humans.”

The book will be released early this Summer by The Park’s Marcellin de la Griffe Publishers, S.A. and is expected to be a strong contender for the non-fiction prize at June’s Chitter Radio Literary Awards.

The Toronto International Book Fair will take place November 13-16, 2014.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2014—Mammalian Daily signs on to media’s “Month Without Metaphor”

March 11, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Month Without Metaphor

It’s a bold idea that is sure to make waves. And, this morning, managing editor Orphea Haas confirmed that The Mammalian Daily is coming on board.

“That is music to our ears,” said Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger and one of the organizers of The Park’s “Month Without Metaphor.”

The media-wide initiative, which is set to run for the entire month of May, promises to shake up what many regard as a moribund industry. And as of yesterday, almost ninety percent of The Park’s newspapers and magazines had agreed to participate in Tinamou’s “Grand Resuscitation.” The Mammalian Daily is the largest and latest to do so.

“We’re thrilled about it,” said Tinamou in an interview this afternoon. “The Mammalian Daily is such an influential paper in The Park and their participation gives us another quiver in our arsenal.”

The idea of the initiative, Tinamou says, is to “tell it like it really is…no embellishments, no idiotic comparisons, no ridiculous painting of pictures for the reading public. Just the facts. We think they’re enough. And not only do we think the facts are enough, we think all this metaphorical reporting is obscuring those facts and distracting our readers’ attention from the important issues. What we need is clarity, particularly during these challenging times, and we very much look forward to seeing how our readers react to being offered a month of just plain facts.”

The Park’s media-wide “Month Without Metaphor” will run from May 1-31, 2014.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2010—Association pulls Cynics’ song from airwaves

March 10, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Association of Park Radio Stations (APRS) has pulled one of the Cynics’ most controversial songs from the airwaves of its member stations.

The APRS, whose members include CLucK Radio, Marine Mammal Radio, Reptile Radio, Radio Drone, bRraydio 4, and Chitter, issued a memorandum early this morning, ordering the stations to cease play of The Cynics’ song, “Mothers don’t let your puppies grow up to serve Humans.”

The song, which was originally recorded as “Bitches, don’t let your puppies grow up to serve Humans,” formed part of the group’s debut collection, Eat Your Food. First released in 24 AZ, the collection was re-released in digital form in January of this year. Since then, it has set sales records in The Park, beating out Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed, by the popular group, Thisbe and the Barkettes. The song has been controversial for years, but has garnered significantly more interest in the last few months.

At a press conference held following an ad hoc meeting at the offices of the Canine Music Association, CMA president, R.F. Aarrf, expressed dismay at the APRS decision.

“This [directive] is censorship, plain and simple,” he said. “And there is no room or reason for this kind of censorship in The Park.”

Aarf went on to challenge the APRS to a public debate on the song, in particular, and on censorship, in general.

“We want to receive a clear statement of what our radio stations believe to be sounds that are acceptable for the delicate ears of Park citizens,” he said.

In a terse reply, the APRS stated that songs it deems to “incite hatred or violence among Animals” will continue to be monitored and/or pulled from the airwaves of member stations.

“Our mandate is to bring to the attention of Park citizens music and lyrics that are born of Park talent. This mandate does not extend to censorhip, per se, but it does include a responsibility to all Park Animals to protect them from music that incites hatred and/or violence or that could, in some way, threaten our peaceful co-existence in The Park. Despite protests from some quarters, we have no intention of shirking this responsibility,” the statement read.

The Cynics, meanwhile, have remained mum about the controversy. But, in a note on their web site, posted 23 January, the group acknowledges that it has lent its support in the past to an unnamed anti-Human group in The Park. The musical group claims to have decided, however, to “leave politics to the politicians” and to expend “100% of its energy” on music.

Filed Under: Media, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2016—Yannis Tavros threatens to reveal names of Mammalian Daily reporters

March 8, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

YannisTavros BREAKING NEWS

The Mammalian Daily has its lawyers poised to file a cease and desist order if Toro Talk Radio host Yannis Tavros makes good on his promise to reveal the names of all of the newspaper’s journalists.

In a tweet this morning, Tavros said he planned to reveal the name of one journalist per day until he has named them all:

Tavros tweet

In an earlier tweet, the talk show host asked his followers if they agreed that it was time for the newspaper to reveal the names and species of its reporters. Tavros also claimed last week on his radio show that ninety per cent of Park Animals think it’s time for the paper to make the move toward transparency. He claimed the figure of ninety per cent came from a poll that he commissioned in February, just after Groundhog Day.

“The Animals of this Park have spoken and The Mammalian Daily should listen,” Tavros said in closing his show last Thursday.

In a statement issued an hour after the tweet was posted, TMD Managing Editor Orphea Haas said she would not be bullied into changing the paper’s longstanding policy of anonymous reporting.

“The Mammalian Daily will not bow to pressure from outsiders, particularly those who demonstrate a profound lack of journalistic integrity. When and if our editorial team decides to change our longstanding policy of anonymous reporting, it will be as a result of deep thought, full discussion, and conviction, It will not be the result of bullying,” the statement said.

Tavros has thus far not responded to Haas’s statement, nor has he indicated when he intends to begin naming the reporters.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: bullying, journalism, journalists' names, newspaper ethics

OTD in 2016—Gunnar Rotte, Douglas Cheetah to debate tomorrow on Yannis Tavros show

February 17, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

YannisTavros Two days before The Park celebrates the Return of the Nut, Gunnar Rotte and Douglas Cheetah will face off against each other on the Yannis Tavros show in a debate on the merits of sortition.

In a press release issued this morning, Toro Talk Radio, Tavros’s home station, confirmed the debate, which will be broadcast live an hour after his usual call-in show.

In an advertisement that ran in both social and traditional media, the radio station invited listeners to have their say “ahead of time and ahead of the pack,” by calling into the Tavros show tomorrow.

The debate is sure to be a heated one. Rotte will argue for maintaining sortition, the lottery that selects The Park’s government every year. Cheetah, the renowned director and vocal critic of sortition who joined the Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP) last year, will argue not only for the abolition of sortition, but for the establishment of free elections in The Park.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: elections, politics, sortition

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