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OTD in 2015—Anselm Alpaca, former Mammalian Daily reporter and columnist, dies at 19

May 18, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Anselm Alpaca

Anselm Alpaca: 1996-2015

BREAKING NEWS

Former Mammalian Daily reporter and columnist Anselm Alpaca has died.

In a statement released this morning, Alpaca’s family confirmed that he died “of natural causes” last night at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm. Alpaca was nineteen years old.

At the time of his death, Alpaca was working for The Equine Echo, but he spent the better part of his career as a reporter and columnist for The Mammalian Daily, where he was known as a “star.”

“He was the gold standard,” said Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas in a statement this afternoon. “He was extremely thorough, he refused to print anything for which he had fewer than four sources, and he gave everyone a fair hearing. There was no journalist like him at any paper in The Park. We were lucky to have him for so long.”

Even after his departure, Alpaca retained his friendships with journalists and support staff at The Mammalian Daily, many of whom describe him as “a great champion of Animals.”

Hamilton Snowcock of The Canary Courier agrees.

“He was on our side, no matter what species you were from,” he said. “He was just a great Animal who believed, above all, in fairness.”

Alpaca also taught part-time at the University of West Terrier’s Cuthbert School of Journalism, where his students say he was always available for them and happy to give students as much time as they needed.

Alpaca leaves his mate Gillian and two sons, Ronald and Stanley.

Funeral arrangements are pending.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Park Life, Passings Tagged With: Anselm Alpaca, reporter dead

OTD in 2015—Alvin Tinamou to offer Month Without Metaphor advice daily on radio show

May 14, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

MonthWMAttention all participants in May’s Month Without Metaphor (and all those interested in the practice of journalism): Set your dial to AVN Radio (Radio 286.7) at 4:00 every day from now until June 1.

Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger and one of the organizers of May’s annual Month Without Metaphor (MWM) will be offering free advice on how to tell news stories without embellishing them with “unnecessary metaphors.”

Tinamou’s newspaper made the announcement this morning in this short press release:

“Following yesterday’s successful trial run, we are pleased to announce that Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger, will be hosting a daily radio show at 4:00 p.m. on AVN Radio (Radio 286.7).

The subject of the show will be ‘Journalism: Telling It Like It Is.’ Tinamou will discuss the various methods of reporting news and will offer tips on how to engage readers without using metaphors and other types of embellishments.”

AVN Radio is a wholly-owned subsidiary of AVN Media, a Park-based media corporation whose holdings also include CLucK Radio, AVN Television, and The Avian Messenger.

As this year’s MWM approaches its midway point, members of The Park’s media establishments as well as those engaged in teaching journalism have spoken out in favour of the event.

“I believe this is the single most important event in The Park media’s year,” said Gertrude C. Owl, Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent and Dean of University of West Terrier’s Cuthbert School of Journalism in a recent interview.

“We stand to gain more insight into ourselves and the reading public in this one month than in the other eleven months combined,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day Tagged With: journalism, metaphor, news, news coverage

OTD in 2017—Month Without Metaphor director “revises and remakes” Park media circus

May 5, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

mwm-flyersFive years after The Park’s first media circus, the new director of Month Without Metaphor is about to “revise and remake” the event for a different purpose.

In an announcement this morning, Ronald Grouse confirmed rumours of his recent talks with Rodolfo van de Gier, president of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP), who was in charge of the 2011 event. Grouse’s announcement said the two have agreed to work together on a “new kind” of media circus that will have an “altogether different” purpose, but it offered scant details.

“We are planning to host a two-day event toward the end of the month that will have the full participation of Park media. We also extended an invitation to The Park’s literary community, including writers, publishing companies, and journal editors, as well as representatives of the University of West Terrier’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Together, we are hoping to have a full and open discussion about the dissemination of information, the use of language and the responsibility of all those who are involved in communication,” the announcement said.

No exact times or locations were mentioned, nor whether the “fun and games,” such as playing reporter or hosting a mock interview, would be included in the new event.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Education, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: communication, media circus, Month Without Metaphor, Ronald Grouse, school of journalism

OTD in 2012—CLucK Radio to reduce air time


May 2, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

CLucK Radio announced today that it plans to reduce its on-air time by four hours per day, beginning 1 June.

J.J. Chanticleer, CLucK Radio’s manager, called the decision “strictly financial” and said it was due to projected losses in advertising revenue.

“We’re primarily a morning station,” Chanticleer said. “We have a very loyal audience in the early hours of the day and, consequently, loyal advertisers. But, we have been finding it increasingly difficult to support our late-afternoon and early evening programming,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day Tagged With: CLucK Radio

OTD in 2015—Follow Month Without Metaphor participants on Twitter during May

April 28, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

MWM

Click on the image above to follow Month Without Metaphor (MWM) on Twitter!

Members of The Park’s media who have committed to participating in Month Without Metaphor will again be tweeting throughout the month of May, it has been confirmed.

In a joint statement issued today, the participants, who work for The Park’s newspapers, magazines, journals, radio and television stations and web sites said they “look forward to surpassing last year’s experiment in expressing themselves and discussing the events of the day in a more straightforward way.”

Today’s statement also confirmed that editors would be keeping a running tally, “so that we’ll be able to see which members of the media were best able to communicate without using metaphors.”

The purpose of Month Without Metaphor is to gauge the effectiveness of reporting the news “like it really is…no embellishments, no idiotic comparisons, no ridiculous painting of pictures for the reading public,” says Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger and one of the organizers of the communications experiment.

“We think all this metaphorical reporting is obscuring the facts and distracting our readers’ attention from the important issues,” he says.


Follow MWM participants on Twitter during May.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day Tagged With: media, Month Without Metaphor, news

OTD in 2012—Park’s first openly aged Archon slams news media bias

April 26, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Archon Thurmond Tortoise will celebrate his 130th birthday this year

The Park’s first openly aged Archon has slammed Park media for what he calls “overt bias in their portrayal of the elderly.”

Thurmond L. Tortoise, who will celebrate his 130th birthday this year, is the oldest Animal in the history of zoocracy to serve as Archon. As such, he says, he feels a duty to speak out against the media’s depiction of The Park’s elderly.

“If you were to believe [The Park’s] press, you’d think we [the aging] were all enfeebled,  waiting to die, or…waiting to be told what is best for us by the young, the naive, and the foolish,” he said.

The Tortoise’s remarks were made at the annual Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP) dinner, which was held last night.

Asked his opinion of the job that Park media are doing, the Tortoise did not hold back.

“These misconceptions about the elderly run rampant across the media landscape,”  he said. “We are being disrespected by a group of ignorant young Animals who have control over the media.We are the founders of this zoocracy; we fought for the freedom and independence that they [youth] are experiencing. We deserve to be treated properly,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2014—Catch a metaphor, win a prize: Mammalian Daily contest begins May 1

April 25, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

MonthWithoutMetaphor

Click the image for a definition of “metaphor”

The Mammalian Daily is putting its money where its mouth is, so to speak.

So committed is this newspaper to the idea of Park media’s Month Without Metaphor, that our managing editor, Orphea Haas, is offering a reward to those able to catch any slip-ups that our writers make during the month of May.

“We respect our readers and we know they will be watching every move we make,” said Haas in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this morning.

“If they’re willing to spend their time scoping out our prose, we will be happy to reward them for finding any mistakes that we’ve made.”

Haas denied, however, that the paper intends to slip in the odd metaphor just to keep readers on their toes…and rewarded.

“It will be hard enough for us to accomplish a month of writing without using any metaphors,” she said. “I don’t think we have to worry about cheating our readers.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2012—New device may help distinguish news from entertainment

April 23, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Is it news or is it entertainment?

That is the question that many Park Animals are asking, as the boundary between the two, in both broadcast and print media, becomes increasingly blurred.

Enter KartalTechSolutions, S.A. and their revolutionary new device, the Verifyzer™, which company executives claim solves this “modern dilemma” almost instantly.

“This new instrument will tell you, within five seconds, whether what you’re reading or watching is news or entertainment,” said President and CEO, Fikret Kartal, at the product’s launch this past weekend.

On hand at the outdoor launch, which doubled as a pop-up Verifyzer™ retail store, were many representatives of The Park’s media community, as well as some faculty members of the Cuthbert School of Journalism at the University of West Terrier. Many were eager to voice their skepticism of KartalTech’s claims about the new device.

“The company bases the success of this device on a number of assumptions, the most important of which is that there is an objective — and detectable — difference between so-called news and entertainment,” said Journalism Professor and author, Ludwiga Saimiri. “This is something that journalists strive to define every day of their working lives, but it is not something about which, as yet, anyone can make a definitive pronouncement.”

Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP) was even more adamant:

“There is no such thing as anything [being] objective in the newspaper business,” he said. “These definitions are fluid, they change with the seasons…with the generations; unfortunately, one Animal’s news is, sometimes, another Animal’s entertainment. And vice-versa.”

Also present at the launch was Rodolfo van de Gier, President of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP). Among other things, he took issue with the company’s guarantee of an accuracy rate of 92 per cent.

“The only thing any device can do, as far as I know,” said van de Gier, “is detect the presence of, for instance, celebrities’ names in a print or voice report. But that isn’t necessarily an indication of the nature of the report. Whether you want to admit it or not, celebrities can be involved in ‘real’ news and, sometimes, ‘real’ news can be enormously entertaining,” he said.

In response to van de Gier’s remarks, a KartalTech spokesAnimal, issued this statement:

“With due respect to the AMOP President’s remarks, technology has come a long way from merely detecting names. I invite Mr. van de Gier to attend a full demonstration of our device and to see, for himself, what our new age has to offer.”

While van de Gier has, thus far, made no reply, the Verifyzer™  is scheduled to hit Park stores at the beginning of May.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Technology and Science Tagged With: #entertainment, fake news, news

OTD in 2017—Leave it to Felines: How the idea of Animal self-rule took hold in The Park

April 10, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

3d-cover-fierce-urgency-of-miaowTHE FIERCE URGENCY OF MIAOW
Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy
by Pieter N. Paard
372 pp. Marcellin de la Griffe Publishers Ftoo 20

Early in his life, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert—known to us all as Jor—went for a short walk outside his home in the arms of the Human who’d adopted him. As they strolled toward a local parkette, they came upon an old woman who asked them to stop. She pointed to his four white paws, which she called gloves, and tapped him on the head with her index finger.

“Someday,” she said, “you’ll be a very big man in the park.”

Virtually all Park Animals have grown up on that story, so it seems surprising to find it told again in the first few pages of Pieter Paard’s new book, The Fierce Urgency of Miaow: Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy.

But Paard’s retelling of the story is very much in keeping with his book’s title and its premise: that Jor’s felinity was central to his vision of Animal self-rule—and to his ability to have that vision.

“Feline culture, as it were, had developed beyond that of any other species in The Park, to the point where Jor was allowed access to ways of thinking that led him to consider the possibility of establishing Animal self-rule. His challenge was to convince those of other species that such a system of government was achievable; his own kind had been contemplating it for years,” Paard writes in the book’s opening pages.

In this way, Paard breathes new life into the “Doctrine of Feline Exceptionalism,” a set of beliefs about the superiority of Felines that is thought to have originated in the decades before zoocracy. At that time, the Felines of The Park—particularly the “Big Cats”—held sway. Hated by all but their own species, they nevertheless used their great intellectual prowess and sophisticated governing skills to bring about a transformation of The Park (then known simply as “the park”) that culminated years later in zoocracy.

The fact that these big Cats were not satisfied with ruling over the other species but sought to share power with them is what gives credence to the Doctrine.

“It is hard to imagine any other species that would have gone to such lengths to divest itself of its political power in order to allow those they considered lesser to achieve some form of equality,” says Paard, himself a proud Equine.

That it ultimately fell to a small Tabby—and a formerly domestic one at that—to fulfil the Big Cats’ dream is further proof for Paard that Felines are intellectually and morally exceptional beings.

“Jor’s leadership qualities and the rôle his sister Zoë played in his political achievements have been the subject of much study of late. But I believe it was his own instincts and his intuitive understanding of other Animals that helped him to establish zoocracy. Jor’s ability to speak to other Animals at an equal level and his mild manner were just two of the qualities that I believe helped him win over his political opponents. To those Animals in The Park who desperately wanted to believe in a government of shared power, Jor presented a trustworthy ally,” Paard writes.

Much has been written about Jor during this year of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary and many have questioned his motives. But even if, as Yoshita Tigru writes in her book, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King, he did contemplate establishing a monarchy and installing himself as king, respect for his fellow Animals ultimately won out.

“Jor’s legacy is and always will be that he established zoocracy in a Park that most others believed was ungovernable,” Paard writes.

If Paard commits any error in this book, it may be that he emphasizes Jor’s achievements and downplays his sacrifices. But we must never forget that Jor left a good life in a comfortable domestic situation to work toward making life better for all Animals. In that one act, he became a model of the highest moral stature and a hero to all.

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Breaking News, Education, Media, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: book review, Jor, pieter paard, the fierce urgency of miaow, zoocracy

OTD in 2016—Mammalian Daily becomes first Park newspaper to ban Human jokes

April 4, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

BanDEVELOPING STORY

“A guy walks into a bar on two feet…”

So begins the most popular twenty-minute set at The Howler, The Park’s only comedy club.

The joke was written and is performed weekly by Dalmanik, who is widely considered to be the king of The Park’s “new comedy.” But as of today, Dalmanik will not be able to make that joke on the pages of The Mammalian Daily.

That’s because so-called “Human jokes” have now been officially banned by the newspaper.

In an “urgent memo” sent to all employees of The Mammalian Daily on Friday, managing editor Orphea Haas declared that poking fun at Humans, “our fellow Mammals,” is not appropriate in a modern Park.

“While it would be foolish of me to suggest that we in The Park have no issues with Humans, it would be equally foolish to suggest that making fun of them, denigrating and disparaging them, either in comedy, poetry, prose, or news coverage, is appropriate,” the memo says.

As a result, Haas has banned all of the above from The Mammalian Daily’s news pages, web site, radio, podcasts, and all other enterprises connected to Mammalian Daily Associated News Services.

This is the first time any kind of ban on joking or comedy has occurred in any Park media, according to Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP).

“I don’t believe we’ve seen anything like it since the establishment of zoocracy,” he said in a radio interview this morning. “I thought zoocracy valued a free and open press. I think Haas is moving in a very dangerous direction by closing the paper rather than opening it up. What with refusing to name her journalists and this, she is taking a few steps backward and that is very disturbing.”

Not all media experts agree with Akita, though. Ludwiga Saimiri, UWT Professor of Journalism and former director of the Centre for the Incorporation and Integration of Interspecial Values in Journalism (CIIIVJ), issued a statement this morning in which she said she thought this was a positive move on Haas’s part.

“I support Orphea Haas in her determination to keep the news free of frivolous commentary and damaging and reprehensible jokes. Interspecial values demand that we attempt to understand and accommodate those who are different from ourselves. We have a duty to treat every Animal with respect,” the statement said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: ban, comedy, criticism, interspecial values, media

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