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OTD in 2018—The year of not writing well: Month Without Metaphor presents the words journalists across The Park would like to ban from media in 2019

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The staff at The Park’s Month Without Metaphor initiative (MonthWithoutMetaphor) has been working hard all month to gather the words and phrases that journalists and readers across The Park have submitted as items they’d like to ban from media in 2019. Director Priscilla Weevil says she was “gobsmacked” by the sheer number of submissions and the “intensity of emotion” that accompanied those submissions.

“There is clearly, across all media, the feeling that we are not serving our audience well,” she said.

Below are the most frequently-submitted words and phrases that Month Without Metaphor received:

OTD in 2016—2017 will be the year of the political book, say Park publishers

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Pile of booksA slew of books dealing with politics and zoocracy is set to be released in 2017, according to the Association of Park Publishers (APP).

Inspired by the upcoming celebration of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary, some of The Park’s most esteemed thinkers began toiling in secret a few years ago, setting down their analyses and ideas about Animal self-rule. Their work will be released in published form beginning in January.

“This is definitely the year of the political book,” says Momoko Yamaneko, Editor-in-Chief of Prionailurus Press.

“We realized that back in 2014, when we started getting manuscripts dealing with zoocracy and Park history. Some of them could have been published earlier, but we decided to wait and make it a literary celebration of this political phenomenon. We feel very privileged to have the opportunity to release twenty-five books this year on the subject.”

Other Park publishers agree. Marcellin de la Griffe, who owns and manages Marcellin de la Griffe Publishers, says his company has been working on the same theme for a couple of years. The publisher says that after wooing historian and University of West Terrier professor Pieter Paard away from Birch Bark Books, he managed to convince other prominent writers to publish their books with his company.

“Our authors— who are historians, political philosophers, scientists, psychologists, and artists—represent some of The Park’s greatest thinkers. We’re going to have an incredible year-long launch party,” he says.

OTD in 2016—Celebrity chef to feature food of the feral world in new TV series

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Tab TricoloreCelebrity chef Tab Tricolore will try his hand at television again in the new year.

In a run-up to his first Feral Roots Festival in July, the chef and restaurateur will host a television series on Vertebrate Vision Television (VVTV) featuring the “foods of the feral world.”

In a joint announcement across all media, VVTV and Tricolore shared their excitement about the show and emphasized their commitment to each other, despite their troubles last year.

In a separate post on his GooseBook page, Tricolore talked about his own feral roots and his relationship with the feral community outside The Park, where he was born.

“On food gathering missions for my many restaurants, I’ve had the privilege of reconnecting with the feral communities outside The Park. They have been enormously generous to me, sharing their crops and their recipes and I look forward to doing the same with my audience. Thank you again, Vertebrate Vision, for this great opportunity,” the post said, in part.

The television series will be broadcast on Tuesday nights, beginning in February 2018, a spokesAnimal for VVTV told The Mammalian Daily.

OTD in 2016—Yannis Tavros grabs the spotlight by announcing his candidacy for POPS

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tavros-poster-sans-wallOn a day when many thought it would be Millicent Hayberry who would be announcing her candidacy for 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), it was, instead, radio talk show host Yannis Tavros who bulldozed his way into the headlines by announcing that he will stand for the position in November.

At what he called a “press rally” outside the law courts this morning, Tavros handed out postcards, flyers, and brochures before making his official announcement.

“As many of you know, I have taken a leave of absence from my job as talk show host at Toro Talk Radio. The reason for that is simple: I have just added my name to the list of contenders for the position of 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring,” he said.

The crowd that had gathered behind members of the press cheered him on, as he promised to make “the most accurate and the best prediction ever” come Groundhog Day.

“I am the most qualified, most astute Animal of all those who are running for this position. And I’m also the most sensitive to the weather, so there is no doubt in my mind that my prediction will not only be accurate, but it will be the best prediction ever made in the history of Groundhog Day predictions,” he said.

OTD in 2011—Park’s media organizations plan protest against newcomer

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The Park’s governing Archons, in association with the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW) have issued a statement urging calm this morning, as media organizations across The Park prepare for a mass demonstration against a Vegetable newspaper that has signalled its intent to set up shop here later this month.

According to Balthasar Alouatta, spokesAnimal for the Archons, the action was prompted by yesterday’s attack on the new publication by the editor of The Equine Echo.  In a radio interview, Keating Capall declared that the new publication “comes from the dirt and does nothing but dig in the dirt and shake it all over our pristine media landscape.”

The Archons’ statement, which was published in all Park newspapers and read on radio and television stations, called for “calm and reasonableness” in the face of what the media organizations perceive as a threat.

“It is our intent to support the ethos of diversity in our Park and, to that end, we urge calm and reasonableness on the part of our media,” the statement read, in part.

OTD in 2015—Zebra activists to appear on Yannis Tavros call-in show Wednesday

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YannisTavros Callers, the lines are open.

Or, at least they will be on Wednesday afternoon, when Yannis Tavros’s guests will be Zebra activists Jafari Pundamilia and Elton Zebra.

The pair, whose latest caper involved disrupting the Beats of Burden music festival by blocking the stage to the SCENTient Beings on Friday night, will be answering questions from callers for a full three hours.

“We’re looking forward to a lively discussion,” Toro Talk Radio said in its announcement this morning, after inviting  “all Animals who want to understand more about the Zebra community” to formulate their questions and head to the phones on Wednesday.

For his part, Tavros, who enjoys a reputation for outrageous behaviour himself, said he thought it was only fair to hear the activists’ side of the story.

“They have a problem with what Faramund Stinktier said [about believing that he was meant to be a Zebra] on this show two weeks ago and I think we should hear them out. Since nobody else stepped up, I thought it was only right for me to do so,” Tavros said at the end of his show today.

The program, which will be sponsored by hibernation outfitters GoUnderground, has been extended by an hour and will be re-run at midnight and offered as a podcast later in the month.

Faramund Stinktier has not commented on the Toro Talk Radio announcement.

OTD in 2016—Avian Messenger’s Tinamou takes leave of absence for “personal reasons”

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A month after Alvin Tinamou’s empty nest was discovered outside The Park, The Avian Messenger has confirmed that he has decided to take an “extended leave of absence” from his rôle as publisher of The Park’s most trusted Avian newspaper.

Avian Messenger front page

In a statement that was part announcement, part biography, and part tribute, the newspaper’s managing editor Fiorentina D’Aquila wrote that it was “with deep sadness and profound regret” that the paper made the announcement.

Writing eloquently and with obvious sympathy for Tinamou, D’Aquila called her publisher “beloved by staff and readers alike” and quoted colleagues who attested to his commitment to journalistic integrity and to The Park’s Avian community.

“Most of what I’ve learned has come from my working for and with Alvin Tinamou. My interactions with him never failed to teach me something or to broaden my view. I will be forever grateful to him and I wish him only the best at this most challenging time in his life,” D’Aquila quoted Editor-in-Chief Donatella Falcon as saying. Falcon will replace Tinamou for the duration of his leave.

Though Tinamou was not quoted in the piece, it was confirmed that he cited “personal reasons” for his decision. Those personal reasons no doubt arose from the theft of his nest in June and its subsequent discovery—minus the eggs—last month.

Tinamou has remained silent about the tragedy, but those close to him say it has taken a great toll on him and his mate Adela.

“Alvin has suffered terribly from this loss. He needs some time to rest, to be with Adela, and to process what has happened. They have both been in shock for months,” his cousin Augustus told The Mammalian Daily.

OTD in 2015—Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

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headsNtalesAccording to the gossip site headsNtales, Noreen is presently in negotiations with The Mammalian Daily to expand her rôle with the paper beyond that of dispensing advice.

In a post dated yesterday, the site claims that the advice columnist, best-selling author, and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier has pitched the idea of creating and curating a new section of the newspaper called, “The Righteous Among the Humans.” The new section would shine a light on Humans who have done good works for Animals.

“Let’s face it; it would be a natural fit for Noreen,” says headsNtales co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo.

“Given that she’s spent her whole life studying Humans, both informally and formally… and add to that her newspaper and academic credentials…who better to do this sort of work than Noreen? I think it’s a brilliant idea and only Noreen could have thought it up!” she says.

Although no formal announcement has been made by the newspaper, Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas has been known as a champion of Noreen ever since she brought her to the paper over fifteen years ago.

“Haas encouraged Noreen from the get-go and she’s blossomed into a very powerful force in The Park. I can’t imagine her denying Noreen’s request. This new rôle will be good for her [Noreen] and for all of us,” Guacamayo says.

OTD in 2011—Archons at work behind scenes to secure reporter’s release

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Extra-Hortulanial law expert Fionnula Fox

It may not look as though anything is happening but, rest assured, our 35 Park Archons are working hard behind the scenes to secure the release of imprisoned journalist, ZeeZee Legy.

That is the message contained in a statement from the Office of the Archons and reiterated at a press conference late last night.  Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, confirmed that negotiations are underway with those outside The Park who have been holding Legy in custody since July 21, 2011.

Legy, a reporter for The Insect Intelligencer’s gossipy Fly on the Wall feature, was apprehended in connection with the death of one Human.  Five other reporters who work for the feature were arrested inside The Park after two of the reporters’ Human sources were hospitalized.  They are scheduled to appear in court late in August.

At first, Legy claimed he was not working at the time of the incident but, instead, was visiting family while on vacation.  But in a statement released last week, The Intelligencer’s editor-in-chief, Fannia di Volo, said there had been a misunderstanding and that Legy had, indeed, been on assignment outside The Park.

At the press conference, Alouatta confirmed that efforts to secure Legy’s release had stalled for a time, but they have resumed and the Archons are “cautiously optimistic” about the outcome.  Also present at the press gathering was UWT Law Professor Fionnula Fox, an expert in Extra-Hortulanial law (law that applies outside The Park).  She explained the Archons’ dilemma thus:

“It’s (Extra-Hortulanial law) a hard needle to thread,” she said.  “We can only negotiate with those outside The Park; we have no real power or authority there.  Basically, we have to rely on the goodwill of the people and try to convince them that there was no malicious intent.  If we can convince them of that, then it follows that a repeat of the incident is unlikely.”

Alouatta said that the Archons are expecting a breakthrough “by the end of the weekend” and that Park citizens could keep up-to-date with the negotiations by checking the information board outside the Court House.

OTD in 2011—Birds On The Wire: Avian Messenger to sell news services

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The Avian Messenger plans to expand its present newsgathering operations and to offer its services to other news organizations in The Park.

At a press conference this afternoon, AVN Media, S.A., The Avian Messenger’s parent company, announced its intention to increase resources devoted to covering extra-hortulanial news. At the same time, The Avian Messenger will begin to offer a selection of services, including local and extra-hortulanial news stories, feature articles, and commentary to other Park news organizations, as well as to analysts and Park Police services.

The news services, which are scheduled to become available by 1 July, will be offered on a subscription basis, according to the press release.

Confirming that her company is moving to position itself as a leader in newsgathering outside The Park, The Avian Messenger’s Editor-in-Chief, Donatella Falcon, announced the addition of three dozen journalists to its roster.

“These Birds will all be on the wire,” said Falcon, explaining that they will focus exclusively on transmitting extra-hortulanial stories to their home paper and to news service subscribers.

Many Park media analysts have called for more Avian journalists to be stationed outside The Park, saying that they have an edge in covering extra-hortulanial stories and that their services have, thus far, been underused. Others disagree, arguing that, while Avian journalists do bring a different perspective to stories, members of other species are just as able to gather and deliver news stories from outside The Park.

At the press conference, the company also confirmed that it is looking to expand beyond its present media interests.

“We don’t want to put all our eggs in one basket,” said Orville Condor, AVN’s Chief Executive Officer.

AVN Media is a Park-based media corporation, whose holdings include AVN Television and CLucK Radio, as well as The Avian Messenger.

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