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OTD in 2016—Stand-alone education advocates use buttons to kick off new campaign

May 13, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

STUPIDITY ButtonMr. Justice Augustus Dindon usually keeps to himself, but this weekend we’ll be seeing his image everywhere, if a new pro-education group has its way.

The group, which calls itself “Park Citizens for Stand-Alone Education,” has used the judge’s image and his most recent ruling that all Animals have the right to remain stupid, to kick off their campaign in favour of building stand-alone educational institutions for The Park’s young.

In a statement released this morning, the group says that it’s high time the Archons faced the truth about education in The Park.

“We’ve been talking around this issue for some time and nothing has been done to improve the quality of education here [in The Park]. We are taking the issue to Park citizens, to the Archons and to the budget committee and Park Finance Officer Abeja. We need to provide quality education for our young in a separate environment from their home and we need to see to it immediately,” says the statement, which was written by Domoina Fossa, the group’s head.

Fossa has some experience in this area. As a professor at the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education at the University of West Terrier and the head researcher of a study commissioned by the 2011 Archons, she concluded that the majority of Park Animals were home-schooled and that “this type of system does not work in a modern Park, with so many species trying to live together harmoniously.”

Fossa says she still stands by that opinion.

“We believe the interspecial strife that has escalated over the past few years could be mitigated by introducing Animals to other species at an early point in their lives. And in addition to that, we believe that using trained teachers is the best way to impart knowledge. Not all parents are capable of doing that,” she says.

The group will be out in full force over the weekend, handing out buttons and talking to citizens about education and the future of The Park.

“I can’t wait to get going on this campaign. The future is now,” says Fossa.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Education, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: education, ignorance, public schooling, stupidity

OTD in 2017—Noreen nominated for literary award for UWT speech on Human architecture

May 8, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Official NoreenBREAKING NEWS: Noreen has been nominated for a Chitter Radio Literary Award.

In an announcement this morning, CRLA director Guadalupe Tucán confirmed Noreen’s nomination in the speech category for her address at a University of West Terrier forum this past Autumn.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies served as chair of the two-day October event, which discussed the effects of Human architecture on other Animals. Other participants included faculty members in the UWT Schools of Architecture, Medicine, and Economics and Social Science, as well as community architects and professionals working in the fields of physical and mental health.

Noreen’s speech, which was entitled, “Doors, Screens, Walls, Halls: The Ins and Outs of Human Architecture,” was exceptionally well-received at the event, according to university officials and forum participants.

This is Noreen’s first CRLA nomination.

The Chitter Radio Literary Awards will be held on June 15, 2017.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Noreen, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Chitter Radio Literary Award, Human architecture, Noreen, speech

OTD in 2017—Month Without Metaphor director “revises and remakes” Park media circus

May 5, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

mwm-flyersFive years after The Park’s first media circus, the new director of Month Without Metaphor is about to “revise and remake” the event for a different purpose.

In an announcement this morning, Ronald Grouse confirmed rumours of his recent talks with Rodolfo van de Gier, president of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP), who was in charge of the 2011 event. Grouse’s announcement said the two have agreed to work together on a “new kind” of media circus that will have an “altogether different” purpose, but it offered scant details.

“We are planning to host a two-day event toward the end of the month that will have the full participation of Park media. We also extended an invitation to The Park’s literary community, including writers, publishing companies, and journal editors, as well as representatives of the University of West Terrier’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Together, we are hoping to have a full and open discussion about the dissemination of information, the use of language and the responsibility of all those who are involved in communication,” the announcement said.

No exact times or locations were mentioned, nor whether the “fun and games,” such as playing reporter or hosting a mock interview, would be included in the new event.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Education, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: communication, media circus, Month Without Metaphor, Ronald Grouse, school of journalism

OTD in 2017—Park’s Avian population set to soar above other species: BirdBrains

April 17, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

yellow-bird-soaring

The Park’s Avian population is set to soar above all other species, according to a report published last week by the Avian mentoring programme, BirdBrains.

The report, entitled, “Zoocracy After Thirty-Five: A New Avian Era,” analyzes a number of studies of the development of The Park’s Avian population in the years following the establishment of zoocracy.

According to these studies, Avians dipped in levels of education, employment, and entrepreneurship during the first decade and a half of zoocracy, when they were overtaken by other species, the large majority of which were Mammals and Fish. In addition, statistics from the Long Gone Registry confirm that the number of Avians who chose to leave The Park permanently grew consistently from 1995 to 2005. The first cohort set up homes and infrastructure in other areas, which encouraged an exodus in the years between 2001 and 2005.

But all that is about to change, according to the report’s authors and BirdBrains directors, Gwendolyn Goose and Henry Gander, whose late father, Cesar Emilio Gander, founded the Avian mentoring programme.

The average level of education in the Avian population has gone from the rudimentary level to intermediate, says Goose, with a significant increase in the number of Avians attending institutions of higher learning.

“This year, Avians will constitute the largest number of new students as well as the largest number of graduates,” Goose says proudly.

In addition, many more Avians have become interested in technology and, in turn, entrepreneurship. Goose and Gander credit their father’s vision, as well as that of the education initiative of the 2011 and 2012 Archons, with the change in the Avian mindset.

“Many more Birds are making the decision to stay here and get an education. They see opportunities that aren’t available outside The Park and they’re now reaching for the stars,” says Gander.

Kawena Palila is one of them. An alumna of BirdBrains, Palila credits the programme with helping her to realize her dream, the social media site gaggle, which went live last year. Palila says the programme helped her get funding and some extra expertise for the site, as well as encouraging her to “think Avian,” which resulted in a site “not for the individual, but for the flock.”

Goose and Gander say there are many more Palilas on the horizon and they look forward to mentoring many flocks of them in the coming years.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Education, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: Avian population, education, entrepreneurship, technology

OTD in 2017—Leave it to Felines: How the idea of Animal self-rule took hold in The Park

April 10, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

3d-cover-fierce-urgency-of-miaowTHE FIERCE URGENCY OF MIAOW
Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy
by Pieter N. Paard
372 pp. Marcellin de la Griffe Publishers Ftoo 20

Early in his life, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert—known to us all as Jor—went for a short walk outside his home in the arms of the Human who’d adopted him. As they strolled toward a local parkette, they came upon an old woman who asked them to stop. She pointed to his four white paws, which she called gloves, and tapped him on the head with her index finger.

“Someday,” she said, “you’ll be a very big man in the park.”

Virtually all Park Animals have grown up on that story, so it seems surprising to find it told again in the first few pages of Pieter Paard’s new book, The Fierce Urgency of Miaow: Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy.

But Paard’s retelling of the story is very much in keeping with his book’s title and its premise: that Jor’s felinity was central to his vision of Animal self-rule—and to his ability to have that vision.

“Feline culture, as it were, had developed beyond that of any other species in The Park, to the point where Jor was allowed access to ways of thinking that led him to consider the possibility of establishing Animal self-rule. His challenge was to convince those of other species that such a system of government was achievable; his own kind had been contemplating it for years,” Paard writes in the book’s opening pages.

In this way, Paard breathes new life into the “Doctrine of Feline Exceptionalism,” a set of beliefs about the superiority of Felines that is thought to have originated in the decades before zoocracy. At that time, the Felines of The Park—particularly the “Big Cats”—held sway. Hated by all but their own species, they nevertheless used their great intellectual prowess and sophisticated governing skills to bring about a transformation of The Park (then known simply as “the park”) that culminated years later in zoocracy.

The fact that these big Cats were not satisfied with ruling over the other species but sought to share power with them is what gives credence to the Doctrine.

“It is hard to imagine any other species that would have gone to such lengths to divest itself of its political power in order to allow those they considered lesser to achieve some form of equality,” says Paard, himself a proud Equine.

That it ultimately fell to a small Tabby—and a formerly domestic one at that—to fulfil the Big Cats’ dream is further proof for Paard that Felines are intellectually and morally exceptional beings.

“Jor’s leadership qualities and the rôle his sister Zoë played in his political achievements have been the subject of much study of late. But I believe it was his own instincts and his intuitive understanding of other Animals that helped him to establish zoocracy. Jor’s ability to speak to other Animals at an equal level and his mild manner were just two of the qualities that I believe helped him win over his political opponents. To those Animals in The Park who desperately wanted to believe in a government of shared power, Jor presented a trustworthy ally,” Paard writes.

Much has been written about Jor during this year of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary and many have questioned his motives. But even if, as Yoshita Tigru writes in her book, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King, he did contemplate establishing a monarchy and installing himself as king, respect for his fellow Animals ultimately won out.

“Jor’s legacy is and always will be that he established zoocracy in a Park that most others believed was ungovernable,” Paard writes.

If Paard commits any error in this book, it may be that he emphasizes Jor’s achievements and downplays his sacrifices. But we must never forget that Jor left a good life in a comfortable domestic situation to work toward making life better for all Animals. In that one act, he became a model of the highest moral stature and a hero to all.

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Breaking News, Education, Media, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: book review, Jor, pieter paard, the fierce urgency of miaow, zoocracy

OTD in 2010—Lab rage ends in violence at UWT

March 3, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park Police say they blame personality conflicts among laboratory staff members at the University of West Terrier’s Faculty of Dentistry for the recent spate of violence that resulted in the deaths yesterday afternoon of 11 laboratory volunteers. The dead include six Onions, four Carrots, and a Radish.

Investigators believe the victims were resting comfortably in their chambers following the completion of an experiment in the Faculty’s laboratory when they were fatally attacked. Laboratory volunteers are required to rest for a period of at least one hour before leaving the University’s campus.

Although the Police have not named any suspects, they confirmed that they are, at present, investigating laboratory staff.

“There is no doubt in our minds that the victims knew their attackers,” Chief Inspector Martin of the Murder Investigations Unit said at a press conference held yesterday.

All 11 victims were members of a group that volunteers its services to UWT researchers. The group, which calls itself Produce for Progress, issued a short statement late last night:

“We are deeply saddened by the events that took place at the University of West Terrier and we mourn for the victims and their families. While we have confidence in the Police and look forward to the results of their investigation, we feel it necessary to advise our members to cease their voluntary activities until such time as the perpetrator or perpetrators of this crime are apprehended.”

This morning, UWT’s Faculty of Dentistry issued a press release condemning the violent attack and assuring the University community, as well as Park citizens, that they will cooperate fully in the investigation. In the meantime, according to the press release, the Faculty has halted the experiment in which the victims were involved.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, On This Day

OTD in 2012—Majority of Park Animals home-schooled: study

March 1, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The majority of Park Animals receive their basic education at home, according to the results of a study completed last year.

The study, which was commissioned by the 2011 Archons in conjunction with the Park Education Working Collective (PEWC), was conducted by researchers at the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education at the University of West Terrier.

The results of the study, published yesterday in the academic quarterly, Journal of Education Theory and Experience (JETE), indicate that a very small minority of Animals take advantage of any of the educational opportunities offered free of charge by The Park.

“This is an area of great concern to us,” said head researcher Domoina Fossa. “Over the past few years, we have witnessed an increase in interspecial crime and particularly violent crime. We believe this could be mitigated by introducing Animals to other species at an earlier point in their lives.”

According to renowned Park historian, Beatrice Zilonis, currently a professor in the Department of History at UWT, the impetus for developing The Park’s educational resources was exactly that idea:

“Interspecial harmony is one of the guiding principles of zoocracy. It was one of Jor’s [The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy] core beliefs that we must foster interspecial harmony through Animals’ knowledge of and friendship with different species,” says Zilonis.

Many in The Park believe that basic education for Animals has been neglected and that institutions of higher learning have received a disproportionate amount of attention and resources in recent years.

“We will have to attend to this unbalanced situation if we want to avoid serious problems in the future,” says researcher Fossa.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2015—Archons enact legislation designating March as annual “Museum Month”

February 24, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park MuseumThe 2015 Archons have enacted legislation designating the month of March each year as “Museum Month” in The Park.

At a press conference held early this morning in front of the soon-to-be-opened Park Museum, Chief Archon Abayomi Tanishia Cuckoo made the announcement. Flanked by all 34 Archons, the Cuckoo spoke on behalf of her colleagues:

“On behalf of my fellow Archons, I proclaim the month of March as annual Museum Month in The Park.

In making this proclamation, we are recognizing the importance of documenting and understanding our history and celebrating our triumphs. At the same time, however, we must acknowledge our ongoing struggles. We hope the formal establishment of a Museum Month will facilitate just that and that the month of March will be a time for us each year to take an honest look at ourselves as a Park, to assess our accomplishments, and to rethink our goals as they relate to The Park as a whole and to each other as fellow citizens.

To that end, in conjunction with the Park Finance Office, we have made a change to The Park budget and set aside funds so that all Park museums will be able to welcome guests free of charge throughout the month of March each year. We hope this will help present and future generations to understand the history of The Park and the rôle that they themselves may play in its future.”

The legislation to which the Chief Archon referred goes by the formal name of “The Museum Month Designation Act” (“An Act to designate the month of March as annual Museum Month in The Park”). The legislation was signed February 23, 2015 and takes effect on February 26, 2015.

Opening ceremonies at The Park Museum will begin at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday, March 1, 2015.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: history, museum

OTD in 2009—UWT to enact hiring freeze

February 3, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The University of West Terrier will enact a hiring freeze, effective 01 Myrodia.

The hiring freeze will apply to all faculty and staff appointments for the years 27 and 28 AZ, the Governors of the University announced at a press conference today.

Citing reductions in operating grants and other budgetary constraints, the Governors said that they were forced to conclude that significant cuts would have to be made in order for the University to deliver “the high quality of education for which it is renowned.”

The Governors said that, before reaching this conclusion, they had held a series of meetings with The Park’s Finance Office, as well as with a number of independent donors.

“The Park’s economy is in crisis. The Finance Office fears it cannot meet all its obligations for 27 AZ and, therefore, they told us, we must be prepared to operate on a more limited budget,” the Governors said.

The Governors’ decision was not made lightly, they emphasized.

“The only alternative that we could see was to raise tuition fees, and that is the very last thing we would do,” they said.

The University of West Terrier is The Park’s oldest and most prestigious institution of higher learning in The Park. It boasts a distinguished faculty and many illustrious alumni, including Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court, filmmaker Douglas Cheetah, and award-winning author C.L. Birman.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Education, On This Day

OTD in 2014—UWT defends new course in Human studies

January 27, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

UWT Coat of ArmsMembers of the Department of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier are scrambling to defend a new course offering that has garnered a lot of social media attention in the past few days.

The course, “Living in the Human World,” was developed by Mammalian Daily advice columnist Noreen, who is also an adjunct professor in the department. The course was intended, she says, to enlighten Park Animals on the day-to-day aspects of life in the Human world.

But many believe the object of the course is to teach Animals how to live with Humans.

“What they’re doing, in a covert way, is trying to groom us for lives as pets outside The Park,” said one popular post on GooseBook.

The University strongly denies that.

“We were honoured to have Noreen join our faculty and we wanted to make use of her expertise. After all these years of observing the Human world, it would be a waste of her talents not to allow her to share her knowledge,” said Bibiano Montanaro, spokesAnimal for the UWT president.

Many on The Park’s social media sites, however, are suspicious of that explanation.

“Maybe if paired with a history course or something like that, then maybe,” said one post. Yet another summed up the feelings of many Park Animals: “If it offers a critical view of Human society, then okay. Otherwise, it’s hard to see it as anything but recruitment of us as pets.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, On This Day, Park Life

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