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OTD in 2013—”Best Dam” commencement address draws mixed reviews

June 12, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

"Best Dam" speechThe address given at the University of West Terrier’s commencement ceremonies on June 1 has drawn mixed reviews from The Park’s citizenry and criticism from some members of its political community. The address, which was passionately delivered by Anatoly Boris Beaver, has been criticized by some for the message they believe it sends to the University’s 2013 graduating class and to all Park youth.

In the speech, which has been dubbed by its critics as the “Best Dam speech of 2013,” Beaver implored the UWT graduates to look beyond innovation to excellence, itself.

“If you cannot produce something new, something unique, something that has never been produced before…if that is not something of which you are capable, don’t stop, don’t give up. Instead, strive to do the absolute best job that any Animal has ever done. Teach the lesson best, sing the song best, cook the best meal, build the best dam,” he said.

Beaver, who is managing partner of Overeager Beaver Architects, was tipped to be the 2013 speaker after his company won the Park Dwelling Design Award this year. A source close to members of the University’s Commencement Advisory Committee (CAC) told The Mammalian Daily that the CAC wanted a member of The Park’s business community to address the 2013 graduating class to “broaden their ideas of post-graduation Park life.”

Some in the commencement audience, however, felt the speech did not deliver on that promise.

“That has to be one of the least inspirational speeches I’ve ever heard,” said one parent of a graduate.

Chief Archon Emeritus George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt went further, accusing Beaver of effectively narrowing our youth’s field of vision.

“While I believe I understand his intent, I do not think that negativity is an appropriate sendoff for those who have worked so hard to receive an education,” he said.

Newt, who spearheaded a campaign to expand education at all levels in The Park, said he believes in the power of education to enable Animals “to create and to innovate and not just to imitate.”

“His [Beaver’s] message was not in line with my own hopes for The Park’s future,” he said.

For his part, Beaver says he was simply trying to emphasize the fact that “we cannot all be special, but we can do our best and be excellent at whatever we end up doing.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2012—Retired Archon wades into sea of controversy with speech

June 4, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Retired Archon, Wyndham Seahorse, waded into a sea of controversy on Friday afternoon when he addressed the 2012 graduating class at the University of West Terrier.

Often described as a “soft-spoken” Animal, Seahorse, who held the position of Archon in 2008, has not been heard from very much since he left office in January, 2009. In April of this year, however, he was selected by the Governors of the University to deliver the 101st commencement address on June 1.

Seahorse’s speech, delivered from the podium at the Hippo Campus of the University, began traditionally enough, with the former Archon emphasizing the importance of education in Animals’ lives and praising the perseverance of the graduates and their families. Then, suddenly, the speech took a political turn and Seahorse began to speak negatively in reference to “The Promise of The Park.”

“The Promise of The Park is a sham. I’m afraid you’ve been had,” he declared, as many in the audience gasped. A few — likely proponents of a different political system — could be seen wagging their tails in agreement.

As he continued in the same vein, the audience became agitated until, at last, Seahorse returned to the more neutral topic of the value of education.

With the speech brought to conclusion, Seahorse exited to mild applause. After the ceremony, graduates and their families admitted to a certain degree of puzzlement.

“I think he had some good points [to make]; I’m just not sure this was the appropriate occasion for bringing them up,” said one graduate of the Cuthbert School of Journalism.

Indeed, although many appeared to believe that another venue would have been more suitable for the former Archon to express his opinions, an informal survey showed that many of the graduates “mildly agreed” with many of Seahorse’s statements.

Still, many more took issue with the expressed criticisms and there have been calls for public censure of the former Archon. As of this morning, however, the President and the Governors of the University of West Terrier have refused to comment on the incident.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: Commencement Speaker

OTD in 2015—Noreen to deliver commencement address at University of West Terrier

May 26, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

UWT COATBREAKING NEWS

Noreen will deliver the 2015 commencement address at the University of West Terrier on June 1, it was announced today.

The President and Governors of the University made the announcement on the university’s web site this morning.

A spokesAnimal for the university said they were “thrilled” that Noreen had agreed to deliver the address.

“We are cognizant of how busy she is and we didn’t wish to burden her in any way,” the spokesAnimal said. “But Noreen is a shining example of the kind of accomplishment that zoocracy has made possible for all Park Animals. We want our graduating class to benefit by hearing her speak about her life and her experiences.”

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct professor of Human Studies is expected to talk more about her earlier life than about her work at the university.

Read the announcement here.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, On This Day Tagged With: commencement address, graduating class, University of West Terrier

OTD in 2012—UWT to dispense with admission requirements

May 25, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Bowing to pressure from a number of citizen action groups, The University of West Terrier announced today that it will dispense with admission requirements as of the academic year 2012-2013.

In a statement released late this afternoon, the President and the Governors of the University outlined the institution’s “Plan of Action” for the future and explained the changes that will occur.

While, strictly speaking, admission requirements will be eliminated, the statement said, the University’s grading system and the requirements for post-graduate admission will remain intact.

“Essentially, the University will be moving from a system of undergraduate admission requirements to that of a system of academic maintenance requirements,” the statement read.

According to a spokesAnimal for the University, academic maintenance requirements systems have worked well in other educational institutions.

“The idea is to allow all students to enter the academic programmes of their choice. They will, then, be closely monitored and those who do not meet the standards required to maintain their place in the programme will be asked to leave,” the spokesAnimal explained.

The statement released by the University said that the new directive is “consistent with the University’s policy of equal opportunity and inclusion” and that the move is in keeping with the institution’s policy of recognizing and valuing the differences among the species.

“This move will align our student admission policy with our staff hiring policy, which is regarded as one of the most forward-thinking policies in academia. We look forward to welcoming able students of all species and languages and to benefitting from their experience and way of life,” the statement read.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, On This Day

OTD in 2016—Month Without Metaphor organizer: “We’re losing ground, minute by minute.”

May 24, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

MonthWMThe chief organizer of the third annual Month Without Metaphor says we’re losing ground in the fight against the unncessary embellishment of the news.

“Plain speaking is disappearing and not bit by bit, but minute by minute,” says Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger and one of the initiative’s founders.

In an interview with The Mammalian Daily, Tinamou quoted statistics that he says indicate the market for what he calls “the plain, unembellished truth” has diminished substantially over the past five years.

“Journalism has given way to storytelling and it’s a slippery slope from there,” he opined. “We’re no longer reporting on an event or situation; we’re taking readers on a journey for their entertainment rather adding to their knowledge or understanding,” he said.

Tinamou contends that the problem started innocently enough, when journalists were told to broaden their reports from “just the facts” to historical, sociological, and psychological context.

“It started with context and the idea that those who work in the media could bring readers and listeners a better understanding of what was going on in The Park and in the world outside The Park,” he said. “But, somehow, that devolved into embellishment and fictionalizing,”

Tinamou said metaphors are just one aspect of the problem, but they were something that he felt could be easily targeted.

“I thought we’d start with reducing metaphors and move on from there. But we seem to be stuck in this style of writing. I don’t think new journalists know any other way,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: journalism, Month Without Metaphor

OTD in 2016—Stand-alone education advocates use buttons to kick off new campaign

May 13, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

STUPIDITY ButtonMr. Justice Augustus Dindon usually keeps to himself, but this weekend we’ll be seeing his image everywhere, if a new pro-education group has its way.

The group, which calls itself “Park Citizens for Stand-Alone Education,” has used the judge’s image and his most recent ruling that all Animals have the right to remain stupid, to kick off their campaign in favour of building stand-alone educational institutions for The Park’s young.

In a statement released this morning, the group says that it’s high time the Archons faced the truth about education in The Park.

“We’ve been talking around this issue for some time and nothing has been done to improve the quality of education here [in The Park]. We are taking the issue to Park citizens, to the Archons and to the budget committee and Park Finance Officer Abeja. We need to provide quality education for our young in a separate environment from their home and we need to see to it immediately,” says the statement, which was written by Domoina Fossa, the group’s head.

Fossa has some experience in this area. As a professor at the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education at the University of West Terrier and the head researcher of a study commissioned by the 2011 Archons, she concluded that the majority of Park Animals were home-schooled and that “this type of system does not work in a modern Park, with so many species trying to live together harmoniously.”

Fossa says she still stands by that opinion.

“We believe the interspecial strife that has escalated over the past few years could be mitigated by introducing Animals to other species at an early point in their lives. And in addition to that, we believe that using trained teachers is the best way to impart knowledge. Not all parents are capable of doing that,” she says.

The group will be out in full force over the weekend, handing out buttons and talking to citizens about education and the future of The Park.

“I can’t wait to get going on this campaign. The future is now,” says Fossa.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Education, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: education, ignorance, public schooling, stupidity

OTD in 2017—Noreen nominated for literary award for UWT speech on Human architecture

May 8, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Official NoreenBREAKING NEWS: Noreen has been nominated for a Chitter Radio Literary Award.

In an announcement this morning, CRLA director Guadalupe Tucán confirmed Noreen’s nomination in the speech category for her address at a University of West Terrier forum this past Autumn.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies served as chair of the two-day October event, which discussed the effects of Human architecture on other Animals. Other participants included faculty members in the UWT Schools of Architecture, Medicine, and Economics and Social Science, as well as community architects and professionals working in the fields of physical and mental health.

Noreen’s speech, which was entitled, “Doors, Screens, Walls, Halls: The Ins and Outs of Human Architecture,” was exceptionally well-received at the event, according to university officials and forum participants.

This is Noreen’s first CRLA nomination.

The Chitter Radio Literary Awards will be held on June 15, 2017.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Noreen, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Chitter Radio Literary Award, Human architecture, Noreen, speech

OTD in 2017—Month Without Metaphor director “revises and remakes” Park media circus

May 5, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

mwm-flyersFive years after The Park’s first media circus, the new director of Month Without Metaphor is about to “revise and remake” the event for a different purpose.

In an announcement this morning, Ronald Grouse confirmed rumours of his recent talks with Rodolfo van de Gier, president of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP), who was in charge of the 2011 event. Grouse’s announcement said the two have agreed to work together on a “new kind” of media circus that will have an “altogether different” purpose, but it offered scant details.

“We are planning to host a two-day event toward the end of the month that will have the full participation of Park media. We also extended an invitation to The Park’s literary community, including writers, publishing companies, and journal editors, as well as representatives of the University of West Terrier’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Together, we are hoping to have a full and open discussion about the dissemination of information, the use of language and the responsibility of all those who are involved in communication,” the announcement said.

No exact times or locations were mentioned, nor whether the “fun and games,” such as playing reporter or hosting a mock interview, would be included in the new event.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Education, Media, Month Without Metaphor, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: communication, media circus, Month Without Metaphor, Ronald Grouse, school of journalism

OTD in 2017—Park’s Avian population set to soar above other species: BirdBrains

April 17, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

yellow-bird-soaring

The Park’s Avian population is set to soar above all other species, according to a report published last week by the Avian mentoring programme, BirdBrains.

The report, entitled, “Zoocracy After Thirty-Five: A New Avian Era,” analyzes a number of studies of the development of The Park’s Avian population in the years following the establishment of zoocracy.

According to these studies, Avians dipped in levels of education, employment, and entrepreneurship during the first decade and a half of zoocracy, when they were overtaken by other species, the large majority of which were Mammals and Fish. In addition, statistics from the Long Gone Registry confirm that the number of Avians who chose to leave The Park permanently grew consistently from 1995 to 2005. The first cohort set up homes and infrastructure in other areas, which encouraged an exodus in the years between 2001 and 2005.

But all that is about to change, according to the report’s authors and BirdBrains directors, Gwendolyn Goose and Henry Gander, whose late father, Cesar Emilio Gander, founded the Avian mentoring programme.

The average level of education in the Avian population has gone from the rudimentary level to intermediate, says Goose, with a significant increase in the number of Avians attending institutions of higher learning.

“This year, Avians will constitute the largest number of new students as well as the largest number of graduates,” Goose says proudly.

In addition, many more Avians have become interested in technology and, in turn, entrepreneurship. Goose and Gander credit their father’s vision, as well as that of the education initiative of the 2011 and 2012 Archons, with the change in the Avian mindset.

“Many more Birds are making the decision to stay here and get an education. They see opportunities that aren’t available outside The Park and they’re now reaching for the stars,” says Gander.

Kawena Palila is one of them. An alumna of BirdBrains, Palila credits the programme with helping her to realize her dream, the social media site gaggle, which went live last year. Palila says the programme helped her get funding and some extra expertise for the site, as well as encouraging her to “think Avian,” which resulted in a site “not for the individual, but for the flock.”

Goose and Gander say there are many more Palilas on the horizon and they look forward to mentoring many flocks of them in the coming years.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Education, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: Avian population, education, entrepreneurship, technology

OTD in 2017—Leave it to Felines: How the idea of Animal self-rule took hold in The Park

April 10, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

3d-cover-fierce-urgency-of-miaowTHE FIERCE URGENCY OF MIAOW
Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy
by Pieter N. Paard
372 pp. Marcellin de la Griffe Publishers Ftoo 20

Early in his life, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert—known to us all as Jor—went for a short walk outside his home in the arms of the Human who’d adopted him. As they strolled toward a local parkette, they came upon an old woman who asked them to stop. She pointed to his four white paws, which she called gloves, and tapped him on the head with her index finger.

“Someday,” she said, “you’ll be a very big man in the park.”

Virtually all Park Animals have grown up on that story, so it seems surprising to find it told again in the first few pages of Pieter Paard’s new book, The Fierce Urgency of Miaow: Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy.

But Paard’s retelling of the story is very much in keeping with his book’s title and its premise: that Jor’s felinity was central to his vision of Animal self-rule—and to his ability to have that vision.

“Feline culture, as it were, had developed beyond that of any other species in The Park, to the point where Jor was allowed access to ways of thinking that led him to consider the possibility of establishing Animal self-rule. His challenge was to convince those of other species that such a system of government was achievable; his own kind had been contemplating it for years,” Paard writes in the book’s opening pages.

In this way, Paard breathes new life into the “Doctrine of Feline Exceptionalism,” a set of beliefs about the superiority of Felines that is thought to have originated in the decades before zoocracy. At that time, the Felines of The Park—particularly the “Big Cats”—held sway. Hated by all but their own species, they nevertheless used their great intellectual prowess and sophisticated governing skills to bring about a transformation of The Park (then known simply as “the park”) that culminated years later in zoocracy.

The fact that these big Cats were not satisfied with ruling over the other species but sought to share power with them is what gives credence to the Doctrine.

“It is hard to imagine any other species that would have gone to such lengths to divest itself of its political power in order to allow those they considered lesser to achieve some form of equality,” says Paard, himself a proud Equine.

That it ultimately fell to a small Tabby—and a formerly domestic one at that—to fulfil the Big Cats’ dream is further proof for Paard that Felines are intellectually and morally exceptional beings.

“Jor’s leadership qualities and the rôle his sister Zoë played in his political achievements have been the subject of much study of late. But I believe it was his own instincts and his intuitive understanding of other Animals that helped him to establish zoocracy. Jor’s ability to speak to other Animals at an equal level and his mild manner were just two of the qualities that I believe helped him win over his political opponents. To those Animals in The Park who desperately wanted to believe in a government of shared power, Jor presented a trustworthy ally,” Paard writes.

Much has been written about Jor during this year of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary and many have questioned his motives. But even if, as Yoshita Tigru writes in her book, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King, he did contemplate establishing a monarchy and installing himself as king, respect for his fellow Animals ultimately won out.

“Jor’s legacy is and always will be that he established zoocracy in a Park that most others believed was ungovernable,” Paard writes.

If Paard commits any error in this book, it may be that he emphasizes Jor’s achievements and downplays his sacrifices. But we must never forget that Jor left a good life in a comfortable domestic situation to work toward making life better for all Animals. In that one act, he became a model of the highest moral stature and a hero to all.

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Breaking News, Education, Media, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: book review, Jor, pieter paard, the fierce urgency of miaow, zoocracy

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