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OTD in 2006—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Basketball

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Today’s ball is the BASKETball.

The basketball has a long history with Dogs.

Originally designed as an adjunct tool for gathering food, cynologists (those who study Dogs) believe that the basketball was first employed by the Cave Dog on his forays into the wilderness in search of sustenance.

Archaeological evidence suggests that the first basketballs were stones that were covered in a heavy fabric. This fabric, which was the colour of terracotta, was wrapped several times around the stone until the circumference of the “ball” measured at least ten times that of the original stone.

Scholars believe that the ball was placed in the centre of the basket that the Cave Dog wore around his neck on food-gathering trips. The basketball, which weighed at least 1 kilogram, prevented the basket from shaking to and fro as the Cave Dog foraged about.

Many believe sporting history was made on the day that the woven reeds in the centre of the basket broke and the ball fell through the hole. The Cave Dog, who was amused by this occurrence, picked up the ball and dropped it, again, through the broken basket. He repeated this play with the ball, from ever increasing heights, until he settled on the idea of hanging the broken basket above the cave door.

Since that time, the broken basket and its companion ball have provided many hours of pleasure for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: Survival and Sustenance in the Prehistoric World, Volume 4: Balls; The Fireside Book of Canine Prehistory; The Extraordinary Life of the Everyday Dog (2nd edition); The World of the Prehistoric Dog: Revelations and Balls; Various Newspaper Articles and Reports.

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com.

This column originally appeared in Issue #112 of The Mammalian Daily.

OTD in 2006—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Football

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Today’s ball is the FOOTball.

The football has a long history with Dogs.

Originally designed as a domestic tool, cynologists (those who study Dogs) believe the football was first used by the Cave Dog in his attempts to keep the cave door open.

Archaeological evidence suggests that the first footballs were products of the potter’s craft. Scholars at the University of West Terrier who have examined shards found in recent digs believe that these first clay footballs were built by hand and fired in a simple kiln.

Cave paintings depicting the Cave Dog receiving visitors suggest that the football was used in the ancient Canine hospitality ritual of leaving the door ajar to welcome guests. Many scholars believe the first kick of the football occurred when the Cave Dog moved the ball in order to secure the cave door.

As rocks began to be used in the hospitality ritual, the football became less of a tool and more of a toy. Retaining its original earthen colour, the football has provided many hours of joy for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: Canine Prehistory: Society and Ritual; The Cave Dog’s Guide to the Sporting World; Daily Life in the Ancient Canine World, Volume 3: Balls; The Canine Picture Book of Balls; The Educated Ball Owner’ s Guide to the Good Life; Various Newspaper Articles and Reports.

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com.

OTD in 2013—CAA steps up pressure on Summer Games committee

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With less than two months to go before the official opening of the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games, the Canine Athletic Association (CAA) has stepped up pressure on the ISG Committee to reinstate the Dog paddle as a competitive stroke.

In a statement issued this morning, the Association once again asserted that the swimming stroke is an excellent test of aquatic prowess and, as such, should be reinstated immediately.

“Unless the ISG Committee takes swift action on this issue, we will see our amazing athletes sidelined once again. We cannot allow this to happen. Our Canine swimmers have been training for more than six years for these Games and they deserve a chance to compete,” said CAA President Alexandre Caniche.

This is not the first time the CAA has attempted to have the swimming stroke reinstated. But, last year, it embarked on an extensive multi-media campaign to raise awareness of the issue. The year-long campaign featured well-known sports figures and celebrities and the Association even commissioned a new scent, ‘”Soggy Dog,” that helped them raise funds to continue the fight.

“We thought we were getting somewhere with them [the ISG Committee], but now I’m not sure. Time is not on our side,” said Caniche.

The ISG Committee has stated that it will announce its decision on August 15. The Games begin on September 22.

“That’s cutting it pretty close, but until we know, we’ll keep encouraging our Dogs to train as hard as they can,” Caniche said.

OTD in 2016—Flyball Finals take on new significance

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Flyball DogSunday’s Flyball Finals will be exciting, for sure. But those attending the annual sporting event will feel a particular sense of pride this year. And a poignancy, as well.

“There is no doubt that Flyball has come a long way in The Park,” says Adrià Lebrel, president of the Park Flyball Association (PFA).

“It took years for us to accept it, and that goes for all ball sports. But it’s taken even longer for us to take pride in our abilities in that area. We’ve been far more willing to show reverence toward our athletes who wrestle, tunnel, race, or swim. Our ball athletes have had to work much harder for recognition and that’s a shame,” he says.

But, Lebrel says, it’s a testament to our ability to expand our minds that ball sports have finally gained our respect. And he credits Mammalian Daily Balls columnist and Park sports historian, Bailey, with helping to bring about the change in our attitude.

“Bailey worked hard to build respect for the ball. Before he started writing his column, none of us knew anything about ball history or its importance in the life of Canines and other Animals. He taught us about ourselves, and this year, with his work with the Park Museum on the flyball exhibit (Flyball and the Importance of Balls in the Everyday Life of Park Animals), he’s brought that full circle. We owe him a great deal of thanks.”

Still, come Sunday, we’ll also be feeling some sadness, due to the theft of Bailey’s basketball, which he’d lent to the museum for the duration of the exhibition.

“When he stands up to open the games, we’ll be feeling for him. There’s no doubt about that,” says Lebrel.

OTD in 2016—Park Museum’s Flyball exhibition to open at noon on Sunday, May 8

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Flyball DogThe Park Museum announced today that its first exhibition dealing with sport will open at noon on Sunday, May 8.

Flyball and the Importance of Balls in the Everyday Life of Park Animals will feature more than five hundred works that illustrate the relationship of Park Animals to balls and sport. These works include oil and watercolour paintings, photographs, sculpture, works in metal and glass, and textile impressions, all of which celebrate balls and the way they inform Park life.

The exhibition was co-curated by The Park Museum’s resident curator Dorika Pumi and Mammalian Daily Balls columnist and sports historian Bailey.

This is the first time that Bailey has been involved in what he calls “institutional” work. In an interview on TMD Radio this morning, he talked about his association with the museum and the generous donation of his private collection of balls to the exhibition.

“I was honoured to be associated with The Park Museum. They are real professionals and serious about their work,” he said. “I didn’t hesitate for a minute in making the donation, which was my idea, in fact.”

He went on to praise the museum’s staff and said he had a “great working relationship” with them.

“The dedication of museum staff and the meticulousness they brought to their work impressed me. We’ve developed a mutual understanding and respect that goes beyond this exhibition and I hope I will be able to work with them again.”

Flyball and the Importance of Balls in the Everyday Life of Park Animals will run until the end of October.

OTD in 207—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Soccer Ball

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Today’s ball is the SOCCER ball.

The soccer ball has a long history with Dogs.

Originally employed in the Mediaeval period, cynologists (those who study Dogs) believe that the soccer ball was first used by the Mediaeval Dog in the crime-control ritual of raising the hue and cry.

Mediaeval scholars cite testimonial evidence in their belief that it was the Chief TithingDog who bore the responsibility of raising the hue and cry. This he effected by kicking the soccer ball into the middle of the town’s main square, and leaving it there until the alleged criminal had been arrested.

Scholars believe that the soccer ball was the first of the illuminated balls of the late 13th century and, as such, it proved to be the perfect tool for alerting the citizenry to the presence of a criminal at large.

Information from mediaeval epic poetry and sagas suggests that it was the organization of a formal Police force that led to the obsolescence of the hue and cry ritual and, thus, to the end of the use of the soccer ball as a tool of law enforcement.

Nevertheless, the soccer ball retained its place in the heart of the Mediaeval Dog and he used it in a variety of his feudal games.

Since that time, Dogs everywhere have enjoyed various forms of play with the soccer ball.

Sources: Domestic Chronicles of the Middle Ages: Volume 10, Balls; The Ball Files; Mediaeval Belief Systems and their Relationship to Balls; The Use of Balls in the Age of Chivalry.

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com

OTD in 2013—2013 Interspecial Summer Games Official Schedule

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2013 Interspecial Summer Games LOGO

AQUATIC SPORTS
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
Rowing (September 27)
Diving (September 23)
Swimming: Butterfly (September 28)
Swimming: Other Strokes (September 28)

AQUATIC SPORTS
CANINES ONLY
Dog Paddling (September 28)

ARCHERY
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 25

BALL AND STICK EVENTS 
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 24

CHASING
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 26

HERDING
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 27

GLIDING
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 28

GYMNASTICS
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 30

JUMPING SPORTS
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
High Jump: September 29
Short Jump: September 29
Long Jump: September 30
Broad Jump: September 30

LEAF RACING
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 30

RETRIEVING
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 26

RUNNING SPORTS
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
Racing: September 29
Sprinting: September 30

SACK RACING
OPEN TO MARSUPIAL TEAMS ONLY
All events: October 1

STINGING
OPEN TO INSECT, AQUATIC, REPTILIAN TEAMS ONLY
All events: September 30

TUNNELING
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 25

WRESTLING
OPEN TO ALL SPECIES
All events: September 27

In addition to these events, the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games will present a limited number of species-specific events:

EQUESTRIAN ONLY EVENTS: September 30
REPTILIAN ONLY EVENTS: October 1
AMPHIBIAN ONLY EVENTS: September 23
AVIAN ONLY EVENTS: September 28

CLOSING CEREMONIES
October 1, 5:00 pm

OTD in 2013—CAA threatens to boycott Interspecial Summer Games

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2013 Interspecial Summer Games The Canine Athletic Association is threatening a last-minute boycott of the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games.

“We will pull all our athletes from the Games unless our demands to reinstate the Dog Paddle as a competitive swimming stroke are met,” CAA President Alexandre Caniche advised in a statement released early this morning.

The Dog Paddle has not been used in any official Park swimming competitions since the establishment of zoocracy 31 years ago. The Canine Athletic Association has spent the last seven years fighting to reinstate it as a competitive swimming stroke. Earlier this month, the CAA lost its most recent battle, when the ISG Committee decided against reinstating the stroke in time for the 2013 Games.

Today’s statement is the strongest on record, with Caniche alleging on behalf of the Association that “specism” was a factor in the decision-making. He also called for a full investigation of the ISG Committee members.

If the CAA decides to follow through with its threat, it will have a detrimental effect on the Games, say sports commentators and representatives of the Park Broadcasting Corporation, the official broadcaster of the 2013 Games.

“Canine athletes compete in almost every sport in the Games and they have an avid following both inside and outside The Park. Without Canines in the field and in the water, we will have a much smaller audience and, to be frank, a far less interesting — and fair — competition,” a PBC spokesAnimal told The Mammalian Daily.

Asked in a radio interview this afternoon whether there were dissenters among the Association’s ranks, Caniche demurred, then answered that members “had not been polled recently on specific matters.”

“Our membership has been united in this fight for over seven years and I have no reason to believe that has changed. In any case, all Canine athletes in The Park are required to be members of our Association, so the point is moot. No Canine will be competing in the Summer Games if the CAA calls a boycott,” he said.

The Interspecial Summer Games are scheduled to begin on September 22 and run until October 1.

See also:

CAA renews campaign to “Bring Back the Dog Paddle!”
CAA steps up pressure on Summer Games committee
CAA to ISG: “This is not the Dog paddle we asked for!”

OTD in 2007—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Bowling Ball

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Today’s ball is the BOWLINGball.

The bowling ball has a long history with Dogs.

Originally designed as a culinary tool, cynologists (those who study Dogs) believe that the bowling ball was the first vessel used by the Cave Dog when he began to mix and cook his morning gruel.

Shards gathered at the rich clay areas of The Park suggest that the first bowling balls were earthenware creations. These balls originally had no holes; later balls discovered near the site were found to have three holes. Scholars postulate that the Cave Dog added holes at a later time in order to allow steam to rise from the ball when it was placed on the open fire.

As Canine cooking methods evolved, Dogs began to favour open pots. Bowling balls were relegated to the shelves as decoration until many centuries later, when they became one of the tools of War Dogs in Human military campaigns.

Military logs displayed in The Park’s Canine Military Museum reveal that the bowling ball was used by the War Dogs as a “paw grenade.” After filling it with gunpowder, the Dogs rolled the ball into enemy territory, where it exploded. So successful was this manoeuvre that it was employed in many wars and came to be known as the “three-hole punch.”

As more sophisticated combat methods replaced the “paw grenade,” the ball’s use became strictly recreational. Since that time, the bowling ball has provided many hours of joy for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: Canine Culinary History, Volume 1; Annals of the Canine Military Museum, “L’enfer, c’est la guerre,” by Denis Bagarre; Various newspaper articles and reports. 

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com

OTD in 2007—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Golf Ball

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Today’s ball is the GOLF ball.

The golf ball has a long history with Dogs.

Originally known as the “gulf” ball, these dimpled, spherical formations were discovered at the mouth of the Gulf of México, many thousands of years before the common era (and Zoocracy).

Naturally occurring and of limestone, archaeological evidence suggests that the ball’s dimples were formed by erosion that was caused by the thick sands found in the deep Gulf.

Many scholars believe that the first gulf balls were discovered by Chihuahuas who had set up camp in the area. Others are of the opinion that it was the Havanese who were the first to find the gulf ball, living as they did at the mouth of the Gulf of México. All are in agreement, however, that it was, indeed, the Havanese who spearheaded the campaign to manufacture replicas of the ball and to encourage its use as a recreational tool. It was also the Havanese who transported it, many centuries later, to the British Isles.

The first recorded use of the gulf ball was found in the log of a ship captain.

It read:“The dog [sic] brought the stone gulf ball onto the ship and [one of] the crew[men], [who were] by then exhausted and of low spirits, took a long, sharp object and smacked the stone back into the water. The rest of the crew applauded his effort and thought the deed done until the dog brought another stone for smacking…”

Thus was born the game that we now call “Golf,” which is played with the ball of the same name, the word “gulf” having undergone vocalic change as a result of its pairing with the word “ball.”

Since that time, the game and its ball have provided many hours of joy for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: A Short History of Canine Sport; Balls: History and Prehistory, Volume 1; The Havanese and the Coming of Golf; Golf: The Game and its History; Limestone Cowboys; Balls Across the Water: The True Story of the Gulf Ball; Dimpled Future: The Effect of Golf on the Lives of Humans; various newspaper articles and reports.

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com.

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