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Rapper Will.o.be. pledges to donate 12 Oak Trees to The Park

December 21, 2013 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Oak branch and acorn


Rapper Will.o.be. pledged to donate 12 Oak Trees to The Park at the Celebration of the Winter Solstice on Saturday. The popular singer was acquitted last week on charges of abusing a Park Oak Tree on the last night of the Beats of Burden music festival.

At some point between the flyby performed by the Doves of Peace and the hilarious antics of the Human Imitator, Rapper Will.o.be. took to the stage at yesterday’s Celebration of the Winter Solstice and made a stirring pledge:

“Last week, I was acquitted of abusing a beloved Park Oak Tree, but I know there are still many Animals here who believe I am guilty,” he said.

“I know there’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t change their minds. But I can help to improve the lives of all of us in The Park. That’s why I’m here today…to tell you that, as I stand before you, I pledge to plant twelve Oak saplings on this very site in the Spring. And may those Trees grow tall and may they be as strong as the founders of zoocracy and the citizens of this Park.”

Roars of applause followed an initial moment of silent disbelief. After the popular Park singer was escorted from the stage, the celebration continued and although he was scheduled to sing a few hours later, the rap artist bowed out, calling for an encore from Jargonhead, instead.

Later on in the day, the still emotional audience left the star alone while he feasted on the offerings of The Compost Heap and The Battering Ram Café, but many were forthright in their praise of his actions.

“I think he’s doing the best he can under the circumstances,” said Dewi Beruang, who attended every Park festival this year, including the Beats of Burden.

“He’s got goodness in him and now he’s sharing it with us and I think we all appreciate that,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life

Celebration of the Winter Solstice to begin at sunrise

December 18, 2013 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Winter Solstice Celebrations 2013


The Department of Hoildays, Festivals, and Celebrations announced today that for the second time in seven years, the Celebration of the Winter Solstice will begin at sunrise on December 21

The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has announced the itinerary and lineup for the 2013 Celebration of the Winter Solstice.

At a press conference today, the Department’s director of public relations, Aintza Kanariar, said she was “thrilled” to announce that this year’s festivities will begin at sunrise on December 21, as they did last year.

“This is only the second time in seven years that the Winter Solstice celebrations have begun at sunrise,” she said. “Based on the success of last year’s Celebration and after reviewing the results of a participant survey, we have concluded that sunrise is the most appropriate time to begin.”

The Celebration will incorporate some of the most successful components of last year’s festivities with some “new and innovative” elements, Kanariar said.

Some of The Park’s most popular music makers will perform, including Eggie and The Pigs, The DomEstyx, The Feral Four, Banded Brothers, SponaneousGeneration, The Beasts of Burden and the Endeka Elephant Band. Rapper Jargonhead has confirmed his appearance, as have The Tweeters. And, despite rumours to the contrary, Rapper Will.o.be., who was recently acquitted of charges involving the abuse of an Oak Tree, said through a representative that he is “very much looking forward to providing some of the entertainment at the Winter Solstice Celebration.”

Once again, The Herman Stoat Dance Company will perform a new work, created for the occasion. This year’s dance, choreographed by Stoat himself, will celebrate The Park’s interspecial life. The dance, entitled, “On the Cusp of a Dream,” will feature some of the company’s newest members, including a number of promising non-Mammalian dancers whom Stoat recently recruited.

Other entertainment acts will include jugglers, clowns, and a Human imitator. And, while students from the Hani Gajah School of Art will paint “three-minute portraits” of Solstice celebrants, the Park Historical Society will offer revellers the opportunity to dress up in a variety of costumes and represent Park historical figures.

As always, a major component of the festivities will be the food. This year, The Compost Heap and The Battering Ram Café will provide the festive fare, while Ants in Your Pantry and Provisions by Petrounel will once again send all attendees home with tasty party favours.

The Celebration of the Winter Solstice begins at sunrise on December 21. Food will be served until 11:00 pm.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life

“Hibernation Nation” enjoys its half-day in the sun

November 14, 2013 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Giuliana Lontra

Giuliana Imelda Lontra clutches the symbolic nut that was surrendered to her for safekeeping by Malinda L. Hamster, president of The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) during this morning’s Surrender of the Nut ceremony. Lontra was elected Keeper of the Nut on November 11.

The sun shone brightly this morning as Malinda L. Hamster, president of The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC), surrendered the symbolic nut to 2014 Keeper of the Nut, Giuliana Imelda Lontra.[pullquote]“Historically, the Surrender of the Nut was a solemn occasion. It was a recognition of the trust that Animals place in each other for their very survival and the Keeper of the Nut is a symbol of that. It has always been a very powerful moment for us.” Beatrice Zilonis, Professor of History, University of West Terrier[/pullquote]”On this solemn occasion, I entrust this nut to you and entreat you to guard it and to keep it safe until such time as the hibernating community requests its return,” the Hamster said as she offered the nut to Lontra.

Lontra clutched the nut, and spoke the traditional oath of the Keeper of the Nut:

“I swear to keep this nut from harm and to preserve it intact until such time as the hibernating community requests its return. And I do so with respect for all Park citizens.”

With that, the solemn portion of the day was done, and the crowd began to enjoy its half-day holiday.

While attendees partook of the vast array of goodies supplied by The Compost Heap, Provisions by Petrounel, Ants in Your Pantry and Florette’s Fine Edibles, talk turned to memories of past Surrenders and to the evolution of the occasion.

“Historically, the Surrender of the Nut was a solemn occasion. It was a recognition of the trust that Animals place in each other for their very survival and the Keeper of the Nut is a symbol of that. It has always been a very powerful moment for us,” said Beatrice Zilonis, Professor of History at the University of West Terrier.

Park Historical Society president Clark Cascanueces agreed.

“The Return of the Nut is also very powerful… the idea that it is returned unharmed and intact, no matter what the Winter was like, that no harm has come to it, even if there was a shortage of food, it wasn’t eaten. I find that very moving. The nut is sacred and so few things are anymore. To me, there is also so much symbolism in both occasions being half-day holidays. The two parts come together to make a whole. The symbolism in that is amazing,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

Picnic organizer to do double-duty as contest’s head judge

April 30, 2013 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

2012 Toe-Hair contest winner Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear will serve as head judge of this year's contest, a little more than a month after organizing the Polar Bear's Poetry Picnic

2012 Toe-Hair contest winner Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear will serve as head judge of this year’s contest, a little more than a month after organizing the Polar Bear’s Poetry Picnic

A little more than a month after organizing the Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic, Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear has agreed to serve as head judge of the 2013 Toe-Hair Contest.

After The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations made the announcement this morning, the winner of the 2012 Toe-Hair Contest spent a few minutes fielding the media’s questions before heading to his office.

Standing in front of the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, the site of tomorrow’s event, Worthington asserted that he was feeling “invigorated rather than spent” after the Poetry Picnic, and pooh-poohed the idea, expressed by some media representatives, that he was “spreading himself too thin.”

“Nonsense,” he said. “I’m in fighting shape…[I’m] a good weight and I have a keen eye, and not just for poetry,” he joked.

He added that the Poetry Picnic had allowed him to hone his “Animal” skills and learn to work well with others.

“That is an important requirement of any organizer, but also of a head judge among [other] judges,” he said.

According to the Contest rules, the head judge votes along with his peers, but his vote also has the potential to end a tie among the other four judges.

“The position is an important one,” said Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the department, at the time of the announcement.

“Should there be a tie, the head judge, who is an Animal with greater expertise than the other judges, has the ability to choose the winner. It is a position of responsibility that calls for a great deal of knowledge and personal integrity,” she said.

The other four contest judges are Marsha Shrew, Barton L. Bradypus, JerMain Jerboa, and Gabrielle T. Gecko, whose grandfather, Samuel P. Gecko, was awarded second prize in the 2004 contest.

The event, which is in its 18th year, is set to commence at 10:00 a.m. Park time.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life

Has Anixi Agrarian Jubilee become too politicized?

May 20, 2012 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

A day after the most successful and best-attended Agrarian Jubilee in history, a menacing question hangs in the air: is the annual celebration becoming too politicized?

Organizers of the event, which marks the beginning of The Park’s growing season, sniff at the suggestion.

“I see no evidence of that [politicization] at all,” said Miriam Wapiti, the celebration’s chief organizer, at a post-event party. “With the numbers we get, there will always be those who see this as an opportunity to further their cause, but they’ll always be a small minority,” she said.

Not so, says Gareth Shepherd, President of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW) and a Guard Dog who was on duty during the Jubilee.

“We had to call in reinforcements, so many scuffles broke out…even among members of the [same] organization. It was three times more difficult to keep the peace and provide security this year than last year,” he said.

Sylvana Rana, of the anti-election group, Save Our Political System (SOPS), concurs with Shepherd’s view, though she sees it in a more favourable light:

“We signed up more Animals at the Jubilee than we have in the last five months,” she said.

Keeva Moffatt, President of the Spotted Skunk Sedan Patrol, said she counted representatives of so many organizations that “I lost count after a couple of hours.”

“I know there were at least twenty,” he said.

Even so, according to Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, the Jubilee went off “without a hitch.”

“There were no deaths, injuries, or serious incidents. I’ve seen much worse, even on Groundhog Day,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

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