The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

Park Museum’s Flyball exhibition to open at noon on Sunday, May 8

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Flyball Dog

The Park Museum’s Flyball exhibition will open at noon on Sunday May 8

The Park Museum announced today that its first exhibition dealing with sport will open at noon on Sunday, May 8.

Flyball and the Importance of Balls in the Everyday Life of Park Animals will feature more than five hundred works that illustrate the relationship of Park Animals to balls and sport. These works include oil and watercolour paintings, photographs, sculpture, works in metal and glass, and textile impressions, all of which celebrate balls and the way they inform Park life.

The exhibition was co-curated by The Park Museum’s resident curator Dorika Pumi and Mammalian Daily Balls columnist and sports historian Bailey.

This is the first time that Bailey has been involved in what he calls “institutional” work. In an interview on TMD Radio this morning, he talked about his association with the museum and the generous donation of his private collection of balls to the exhibition.

“I was honoured to be associated with The Park Museum. They are real professionals and serious about their work,” he said. “I didn’t hesitate for a minute in making the donation, which was my idea, in fact.”

He went on to praise the museum’s staff and said he had a “great working relationship” with them.

“The dedication of museum staff and the meticulousness they brought to their work impressed me. We’ve developed a mutual understanding and respect that goes beyond this exhibition and I hope I will be able to work with them again.”

Flyball and the Importance of Balls in the Everyday Life of Park Animals will run until the end of October.

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Museum takes heat for letter blaming construction workers

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Park Museum

The Park Museum’s Board has been criticized for blaming the Builders’ Guild for the current dispute that has halted  construction on the museum since September 14.

The Board of Governors of the Park Museum has come under fire for appearing to blame members of the Association of Professional Park Construction Workers (APPCW) for the ongoing strike at the museum.

In an open letter addressed to the museum’s future patrons, the Board contends that it has bargained “in good faith” and been conscientious about attending negotiations with the APPCW’s representatives. The letter appears on the museum’s web site.

“At no time did we threaten to void our contract with the Builders’ Guild (APPCW), as was reported, nor have we ever failed to attend negotiations. We believe that we have bargained in good faith with the members of the APPCW and, to the best of our ability, we have met members’ demands,” the letter begins.

Some critics, however, have accused the museum’s Board of Governors of “whitewashing” and some have even suggested the letter is a form of sabotage.

“I think they might be using that letter to bait the APPCW,” said Gareth Shepherd, Park Police Officer and President of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW).

“We’ve seen this kind of thing happen and it can turn very ugly,” he said.

Construction of the main building of the Park Museum ceased on September 14, when talks between the APPCW and the museum’s Board of Governors broke down. In the letter, the museum’s Board of Governors appears to blame APPCW members’ “demands” for the current impasse, something which Shepherd says is common tactical error.

“More often than not, it backfires,” he says. “[Their] use of the word ‘demand’ is the first indication that they are trying to sway public opinion with the letter, rather than just using it to inform future patrons of the delay. Their hope appears to be that donors and future patrons will place the blame for the delay and for escalating costs on these ‘demands’ rather than on both parties’ inability to come to an agreement.”

The full letter appears here.

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Delays force Park Museum to seek storage for collection

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Park Museum

Delays in the construction of the main building have forced the Park Museum to seek storage facilities elsewhere to house its growing collection of artefacts.

Delays in the construction of its main building are causing “enormous” problems for the Park Museum, its Board of  Directors admitted recently.

At a public Q & A held Friday at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, the Board members said that the hold-up in the start of construction was due to the weather problems The Park experienced this Spring.

“These problems, which are all too familiar to those who reside in The Park, have caused a significant delay in the construction of the main building,” said Sukuta Rhinoceros, one of the founders of the Museum and a member of its Board.

“We had hoped to see that building nearing completion by now since, as it will be the largest space, it was our intention to warehouse our collection of artefacts there. It seems that that has become impossible. We have, therefore, initiated a search for storage facilities elsewhere. It is our hope that we will be able to find a space large enough within The Park, as it would be extremely difficult for us to ensure the collection’s security outside The Park,” he said.

Rhinoceros also confirmed that the Museum is currently in talks with The Park’s Builders’ Guild (Association of Professional Park Construction Workers) regarding an accelerated construction schedule.

“This is a delicate matter, due to the noise component and the fact that the estivation period begins in just a few weeks,” he said. “We have a very small window of opportunity to work 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We are optimistic that the Guild will work with us on this,” he said.

When it is complete, the Park Museum will be the largest structure conceived and built in The Park since the establishment of zoocracy. Plans released at the Q & A show that the main building will be connected to the Museum’s other two buildings by an underground water tunnel. Green space surrounds the entire project at ground level and the roof of each building will offer nesting facilities in the Spring, Rhinoceros confirmed.

In response to questions regarding the Museum’s planned opening, Rhinoceros said he hoped the main building would be ready by the end of Autumn.

“If our main space is ready by the end of September, our planned opening will most certainly be a go. If there are further delays, we could be looking at an early Spring 2014 opening. But we are doing our best to avoid that,” he said.

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ISML confirms discovery of ancient “shedding” song

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Archaeologists at the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life have determined that the words that are carved on a stone tablet that was discovered last Summer are the lyrics of an ancient shedding song.

The Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life has confirmed the discovery of an ancient shedding song. The lyrics of the song were inscribed on a stone tablet that was found near The Park’s Wishing Well during a routine dig last Summer.

At a press conference held this afternoon on the grounds of the Institute, ISML Chief Archaeologist Catriona Cairn-Terrier characterized the find as “significant” and described the tablet as “basically in good shape, with a few breaks here and there at the ends, but nothing that prevented us from reading the letters on it.”

She credited a team of musicologists from the University of West Terrier’s Zedrich School of Music with helping the Institute’s staff determine the nature and meaning of the inscription on the stone.

“We knew from the way the words were arranged that it was some type of poem or poetic structure, but it wasn’t until we worked with the musicologists that we were able to comprehend its true essence,” she said.

According to Cairn-Terrier, shedding songs (as well as molting songs) were a popular genre many thousands of years ago.

“They celebrate the natural order of things…moving from one season to another…and especially the rebirth that occurs in the Spring,” she said.

The language of the inscription found on the tablet is known as “Mammalian XII,” an ancient language that is related to Mammalian VII and, according to archaeologists, one that was in use during the Hairy Mammal Era (HME). And although the entire song has yet to be transcribed, Cairn-Terrier offered up what she believes is the song’s chorus:

Spring is sprung!
The winter’s done!
The sun’s come out to play!
Let’s shed the old,
Don something bold – 
For summer’s on its way! 

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