Tuesday nights might never be the same at The Squeakeasy.
Once known as the night when Animals sway to the rhythm of poetry at the busy Park pub, last night’s scuffle, which ended in a number of injuries and arrests, may well make the evening synonymous with violence and interspecial tension.
According to Park Police, the commotion began when Mirella Gufo flew down to the microphone to read from her latest work.
“Some Animal made a remark about her beak and that’s what started it, according to witnesses,” Inspector Antonia T. Fossa of the Park Police’s Interspecial Investigations Unit told The Mammalian Daily. “And it devolved from there.”
Herman Wasbeer, who became involved in the fighting by accident, agrees that it started out almost innocently.
“It was a bad remark, for sure. And so unnecessary. But there was no violence attached to it at first. So, I told them to be quiet. We go there to hear poetry, not to hear what other Animals think of the way we look,” he says.
Unfortunately, Wasbeer’s intervention just added fuel to the fire.
“The next thing we knew, a whole flock of Geese descended on the place. Personally, I think they were just itching for a fight because they don’t even know Mirella Gufo,” he said.
Wasbeer says he tried to stop the Geese, but they turned on him.
“They were spewing hatred, honking about ‘stupid stripes’ and some other stuff that I couldn’t even understand. Then, a couple of Tabbies got in the act and you know it can’t be headed anywhere good when the Felines start fighting. The Geese told them to go to The Tabby Club, where they belong, and the thing just erupted into a room of flying fur and feathers.”
Wasbeer was bitten, though he says he doesn’t know by whom.
“I was arrested at first, but when they saw I was bleeding, they took me to the [Park] hospital. I guess it was later on that they found out I wasn’t one of the perpetrators.”
While he was released this morning, six more Animals remain in hospital, one in critical condition. Four others face charges, Police say, and will appear in court next week.
Meanwhile, the organizers of the Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic say their event will go on as planned.
“We have no reason to think that our annual festival of poetry will be anything but peaceful,” says the event’s chief organizer Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear.