BREAKING NEWS The set list for the May 8 concert of Thisbe and the Barkettes, held at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, has gone missing. According to theatre security, the list was affixed to the stage throughout the concert and it was security's job to remove it after the band packed up. "We were given specific instructions about its removal," said a spokesAnimal for the theatre. "We were told to keep it safe and secure, because Thisbe … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2017—DWBS “disappointed” that Mating Dance selfie warnings not heeded
For the second year in a row, selfies and other photos of Park Animals that were taken during last Friday's Mating Dance have been posted on the internet. "It appears that our repeated warnings to Park Animals to take precautions against Humans photographing them taking selfies fell on deaf ears," said Cornelius Kakapo, Director of Public Relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), at a press conference this morning. While … [Read all...]
OTD in 2017—MWM head takes on Park media for manipulating readers “like advertisers”
Ronald Grouse, the director of Park media's Month Without Metaphor, has taken Park media to task over what he describes as the manipulation of their readership "in the style of advertisers." In a scathing editorial this morning, The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst criticized Park publications, calling them "complicit with advertisers" in their descriptions of products, places, and events. Grouse, who has only been at the helm of … [Read all...]
OTD in 2013—Transport problems caused Spring’s tardy arrival: PWO
The Park Weather Office finally has offered a response to Animals' complaints about the delay in the arrival of Spring weather this year. But it's not an explanation that is satisfying to many. In the statement released yesterday, the PWO says that transport difficulties were responsible for Spring's tardiness. The statement, which was issued to all media, read in part: "We would like to inform Park Animals that, after a lengthy investigation, … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2012—”Mating Dance Blues” are real, says expert
If "woe is me" describes the way you're feeling after Sunday's Mating Dance, take heart. A new study shows that at least a third of those who attend mating events such as Sunday's dance suffer some … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2014—Toe-Hair Contest winners have “bright futures,” while losers struggle: study
A week after The Park hosted its 19th annual Toe-Hair Contest, a new study out of the University of West Terrier's School of Medicine confirms what many have observed, but few will admit: winners of … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2013—Excuse me, Meister…I have a job for you!
Here's the scoop, straight from the mouth of Chuck the Guck Man: Guck is back and it's bigger than ever! The only problem is, there's not much of it available at the moment. "It's not often that a … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
