The Mammalian Daily

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OTD in 2016—Doves called back to assist Does of Peace in monitoring polling stations

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vote-hereThe Doves of Peace were called back from migration last week to assist their sister-agency, the Does of Peace, in monitoring polling stations during today’s election.

According to Cornelius Kakapo, director of public relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), the unprecedented decision was made “to ensure the integrity of the election.”

The Doves and Does, who are fully autonomous sub-groups of Park Police, attend Park celebrations and days of significance, but this is the first time in Park history that they have been called to monitor an election.

Speaking last night from a pit stop a few kilometres from The Park, Doves of Peace spokesBird Georgina Golub said the decision to call her group back to The Park was appropriate, “if not prescient.”

“Yesterday’s violence at the All Candidates’ mega rally was a good sign that we should come home and keep the peace during this historic election,” she said.

The violence that Golub referred to at yesterday’s rally started with one attendee deliberately tripping Ekeoma L. Girraaf, who had just finished speaking in support of candidate Yannis Tavros. Tavros’s supporters, including his campaign manager Raimundo Zorro, ganged up on the attendee and held him until Park Police forced them to release him. At that point, supporters of the beaten attendee cornered Zorro and tried to block police access to him. Zorro, who was convicted last year of hate-mongering and engaging in specist activities, was eventually removed from the rally, but not before at least fifty Animals were arrested and many more were taken to hospital.

Golub said that after re-grouping, the Doves would be ready for work at noon today.

“We’re looking forward to monitoring a peaceful and enjoyable election process,” she said.

OTD in 2013—POPS 2014: Let the campaign begin!

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POPS 2014 List of Candidates

The list of candidates for POPS 2014 was released at 2:00 a.m. this morning by the Park Election Office.

The Park’s Election Office has released the names of the 145 Animals who have chosen to stand as candidates for the position of 2014 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

At 2:00 a.m. this morning, the list of candidates was posted at the law courts and in front of the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, the venue that will host tonight’s all-candidates debate. The list will remain posted until all votes are tallied on November 7.

The total number of candidates this year is 145 and they represent a wide variety of species, many of whom have not previously been associated with weather prognostication.

“It’s an increase of more than 500 per cent over last year,” PEO head Gerritt Wezel told The Mammalian Daily this morning.

“We’re going to see quite the fight tonight,” he said. “You can tell from the campaigning so far.”

Some candidates began their campaign at 2:01 this morning, just one minute after the list of candidates was posted. Others, however, opted to wait for more Animals to be awake before they knocked on den doors or slipped their brochures into burrows or tunnels.

“I was up, of course, but I didn’t want to rouse any other Animal from sleep. I don’t think that’s how you get votes,” said Corazón Jirafa, who is the first of her species to stand for election.

Both Jirafa and Blandine Okapi said they believed it was important for them to run, even if they don’t stand a chance of winning.

“There’s been so much talk about striped and spotted Animals not getting a fair shake in The Park, not being treated equally,” said Okapi. “I kind of wanted to test that out and see for myself what kind of reaction I got.”

Candidates will be campaigning throughout the day until the all-candidates debate begins at 8:00 this evening.

“And after that, it’s up to the electorate to ponder its decision in blissful silence,” says Wezel.

OTD in 2016—Significant number of Groundhogs say they won’t vote on November 7

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ballot-boxA significant number of The Park’s Groundhogs say they won’t be voting for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) on November 7.

In a new poll conducted by the Park Election Office on Thursday, twenty-seven percent of Animals who identify themselves as Groundhogs, Whistlepigs, or Marmots said they would not be casting a ballot this year for POPS. The vast majority of those, however, said they would be voting for Keeper of the Nut four days later.

This is the second poll on the subject the PEO has conducted in the last week. The top reasons given this time for sitting out the POPS election were disenchantment with the candidates and the feeling that the election had lost its real meaning and had been “co-opted” by celebrities such as Millicent Hayberry and Yannis Tavros.

In a related poll, sixty-eight percent of respondents said they believed the POPS should be a hibernator.

What do Mammalian Daily readers think? Answer our poll below and we’ll tell you the results when the election is over.

OTD in 2016—POPS populi? SOPS’s Rana makes her case against elections in The Park

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no-voteOne of The Park’s largest political action groups has launched a campaign against holding elections in The Park.

In an op-ed piece published today in The Mantella Morning Post, Sylvana Rana, president of Save Our Political System (SOPS), writes that the recent POPS election campaign has demonstrated “how devastating general elections in The Park would be.”

Among Rana’s arguments against elections, she lists the candidates’ pandering to the electorate, something she says could lead to the winner being the most popular rather than the most qualified.

“The persistent pandering we see from so many of the POPS candidates would be even more devastating to The Park were this to occur during an election for our Archons. Before long, the Archonship would be a position won by personality, style, species, or other attributes that have nothing to do with ability or qualification. And how far down the road would we have to go before the candidates were caught making offers to the voters? Bribery is only a few steps away when this type of election is held,” she writes.

In the op-ed piece, Rana also contends that elections, rather than the present system of sortition, would change the dynamic of the governing body.

“I believe that elected Archons would make only a minimal commitment to the position,” she writes.

“Based on what I’ve seen of the POPS elections and of those held in the Human world, I believe the winners would be much less inclined to do the difficult work of governing. Our present system of selection requires a commitment—driven by a sense of duty— that has become one of the biggest reasons for the success of zoocracy.”

OTD in 2011—Small Animal Community releases 2012 Tulip Map

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In anticipation of the official hibernation date of November 17, the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC), in association with the Confederation of Ground Squirrels (CGS), the Idiosyncratic Hibernators of The Park (IHOP), the Association of Distinct Hibernating Animals of The Park (ADHAP) and the Park Alliance of Chipmunks (PAC), has released its official “2012 Map of Tulip and other Bulb Beds in The Park and Environs.”

The map, which has been one of the highlights of the pre-hibernation season for the past several years, is available for purchase at select stores in The Park.

OTD in 2012—POPS 2013: record number vie for coveted position

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With only a few days to go before the annual all candidates’ debate, the list of contenders vying for the position of Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) has reached the highest number in the office’s history.

According to The Park’s Election Office, 13 Animals have now registered their candidacy.

“This is the highest level of interest we’ve seen since elections were established almost ten years ago,” said PEO head Gerritt Wezel. “We expect at least five more Animals to announce before the cut-off time on Monday [November 5],” he said.

Since 2003 (23 AZ), subsequent to the decision of Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in the landmark case of “Spring’s Unsprung Heroes” vs the descendants of E. Bromley Groundhog, the position of POPS has been an elected one. In order to stand for election, Animals must officially announce their candidacy between October 15 and 11:59 on November 5. The names of the candidates are released at 2:00 a.m. on November 6. POPS hopefuls are then allowed to campaign for votes until 8:00 in the evening, when the all candidates’ debate begins.

The POPS election occurs on Wednesday, November 7, ten days before the official date of hibernation.

OTD in 2016—Move over, October. You’re done.

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cats-newspaperCatch up before November starts:

Stripes two ways: Groomer offers “WINK Coiffure” in honour of PIFF premiere

Hibernators see red over Tavros tweets

Gunnar Rotte takes leave of absence from work at Extinction Anxiety Clinic

Officer charged with injuring Doe of Peace at PIFF after-after party

Harvest Festival organizers issue edict: no woes allowed

Stan the Spitman speaks out about the use and misuse of his product at PIFF

Date of Snowbird Farewell changed

On the docket: these are the trials to follow this October

Slowly but surely, The Mammalian Daily is adding full bylines to its articles

Director Zebra peddles compassion and hope in WINK: PIFF Feature Film Review

Doves’  Golub calls out dating services for “jeopardizing our family structure.”

Yannis Tavros grabs the spotlight by announcing his candidacy for POPS

 ZEAL, Stinktier make peace at Snowbird Farewell

PEO head says he’s “bracing for a wild ride” in the run-up to POPS election

“Unfit to predict:” Rotte launches campaign against Tavros’s POPS bid

Weather, Human Direct Investment blamed for number of Humans in Park

TMD announces appointment of an official POPS Election reporter

Hire causes ire: Groundhog Day organizers take flack for Fleck + Stone

October 25: Your election update in five

October 26: Your election update in five

October 27: Your election update in five

October 28: Your election update in five

October 29: Your election update in five

Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt: Park Museum hosts first pop-up exhibit to honour POPS election process

OTD in 2016—Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt: Park Museum hosts first pop-up exhibit to honour POPS election process

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beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt-for-park-museumIn celebration of this year’s POPS election season, The Park Museum will host a pop-up exhibit entitled, “Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt.”

In an announcement yesterday afternoon, the museum’s Board of Governors said the multimedia exhibit is meant to honour the POPS election process as well as this year’s unconventional campaign.

The exhibit will showcase material related to the 2003 decision by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon to open the position of POPS to elections. It will also feature memorabilia from past campaigns, including posters, flyers, buttons, newspaper interviews, television and radio interviews, and recorded speeches.

This is the first pop-up exhibition hosted by the museum since its opening in March of 2015.

“Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt” will run from 31 October until 17 November 2016.

OTD in 2012—Douglas Cheetah film to be re-released in time for Halloween

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Bitter Litter Pictures announced today that it has re-released Douglas Cheetah’s controversial 2007 film, Black Cats Can’t Jump, in time for the Halloween season.

In a press release, the company confirmed rumours that the director’s cut version of the film will screen at the Park Cinema for two weeks only, beginning October 30.

“We are pleased to offer our sophisticated Park audience the director’s cut of Douglas Cheetah’s groundbreaking work,” the release stated.

Through a spokesAnimal, Cheetah expressed delight that more Animals will be able to see the film.

“Five years is a long time. Many more Animals have been born and come of age in that time and I am delighted that they will be able to see this film,” he said.

Cheetah is currently out of The Park, at work on a documentary that he hopes to release at the 2013 Park Interspecial Film Festival.

OTD in 2015—Millicent Hayberry to star in new Gianfranco Colocolo mystery series

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Millicent Hayberry

Millicent Hayberry will return to the stage in 2016

Millicent Hayberry will ring in the new year by starting a new gig at the Burrow Theatre.

In a press communiqué today, the renowned actress announced that, beginning in mid-February, she will star in a series of mysteries by award-winning author Gianfranco Colocolo.

“I am very pleased to announce that 2016 will find me back onstage at the Burrow Theatre, in a series of mysteries by Gianfranco Colocolo, the award-winning author of Murder at the Fishbowl. I look forward to working with our brilliant director Jean-Luc Briard and the rest of the wonderful cast,” the communiqué said.

The Burrow Theatre confirmed that rehearsals for the first play begin on Monday.

“As Millicent is a hibernator, she will not be available after November 17, so we have to get going right away and use the time we have,” a spokesAnimal for the theatre said.

Hayberry, who is best known for her portrayal of author Imogen Aardeekhoorn in both the stage and screen productions of Mixed Nuts, is one of The Park’s early risers and, as such, she does not plan to return to her burrow after Groundhog Day. Instead, said the theatre’s spokesAnimal, “she expects to arrive here on February 3, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to get back to work.”

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