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Mark your calendars for these important January 2023 events

December 30, 2022 By TMD Reporters

January is one of The Park’s busiest months. To make sure you don’t miss anything, mark these dates on your calendar:

January 1-15: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, For Tomorrow You May Have to Govern
Because we use the sortition method to select our Archons every January, we are all aware that this duty may fall to us. So, in the days leading up to the selection and announcement, spend time with your friends and family, and enjoy yourself. You may not have much time to do so in the coming year.

January-December 2023 
It’s hard to believe, but it’s been more than a full decade since The Park harmonized its calendar with the outside world. The Park Museum is planning to celebrate this occasion all year long, with a lineup of special events that will be announced monthly. Check their web site for details: Park Museum.

January 6: Otter Ice Slide Opens
We’re lucky to host all four seasons in The Park and we do enjoy our Winters. As it happens, our Otters know a thing or two about Winter fun, too, and they’re generous enough to share it with the rest of us. So, get yourself over to the Otter Ice Slide while it’s still cold out. There’s no feeling quite like it!

January 6-10: “Sortition Shakes” Pop-Up Clinic Learn more about this newly-identified condition that affects a large percentage of The Park’s adult population. The clinic will be staffed by therapists from the University of West Terrier’s School of Medicine, The Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, and the Extinction Anxiety Clinic, who will spend at least fifteen minutes with each patient. No appointment is necessary. No time for therapy? Just stop by and take Dr. Chloris Cougar’s 10-point test and leave with an explanatory brochure. Either way, a visit here will ease your nerves.

January 7-14: Special Pre-Archon Selection Series of Discussions with Park Authors
In the week leading up to the announcement of the 2022 Archons, proprietor Wyuna Winkle of The Literary Apothecary will host a series of politically-oriented discussions and debates with prominent Park authors. Don’t miss your chance to hear Pieter Paard, Yoshita Tigru, Dr. Berthilidis Strix, Inari Marakatti, Magnus P. Marmoset, and Beatrice Zilonis, among others.

January 12 : “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Park Government”
Be prepared! If your name comes up, you’ll want to serve honourably and intelligently. Fortunately, historians Pieter Paard, Beatrice Zilonis, and Clark Cascanueces as well as political philosopher Magnus Marmoset have you covered. Their crash course is designed to teach you everything you’ll need to know about zoocracy, sortition, and the duties of Archonship. Open to all and free of charge, but reservations required. Location: University of West Terrier.

January 13: Extinction Anxiety Clinic Open House
For the fifth time since its opening, The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic—which in August will celebrate a decade of serving The Park’s citizens and residents—will host an Open House. Both locations will welcome guests from 10:00-4:00 for some frank talk about Extinction Anxiety, Non-Hibernators’ Guilt, and the effects of the Human Crisis on Park Animals. Information on the the newest treatment options will also be available. Refreshments will be served courtesy of Chef Tab Triocolore’s grassRoutes restaurant and The Battering Ram Café.

Park ArchonsJanuary 15: New Archons Announced
In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons will be posted at the Law Courts early on the morning of January 15, an hour after the selection is certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.

The list will remain posted at the Courts until the end of the week, so that all citizens and residents may review the names. The list will also be published in the January 15 edition of The Mammalian Daily.

January 16: Archons sworn in (half-day holiday)
For the selected Archons, the swearing-in ceremony will be a first; for Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon, it will be his twenty-third. The ceremony is always meaningful and poignant, and a reminder of our great fortune to live under Animal self-rule.

January 1- March 31: The Park Museum presents, “The Means and the Message: An Appreciation of the Prognostication Pad”
This multimedia exhibit
honours not only those who have been elected Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), but the means they’ve used to make their predictions: the prognostication pad.

The Winterlong exhibit showcases the evolution of the prognostication pad throughout the past decade, putting the pad in historical context, and demonstrating the way in which its use has changed the office and duties of the prognosticator as well as the way in which spectators view the prediction.

January 29: University of West Terrier Annual Open House
The annual open house at The Park’s most renowned research institution attracts hopeful would-be students, alumni, and all those interested in higher education. Come for the tour and the snacks, but stay for the annual speaker. You’ll never be disappointed!

Lead-up to Groundhog Day
One of our most important holidays (if not the most important), The Park’s Groundhog Day celebration will include, of course, the prognostication, the Archons’ address, and the welcoming home of our hibernators. Shadow or no shadow, this year’s GD celebration is sure to be a great one. See you there!

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Health and Medicine, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #JanuaryEvents

What’s coming up in November

November 2, 2017 By TMD Reporters

What with hibernation preparation, debates, elections, and selections for POPS and Keeper of the Nut—and more—November is one of the busiest months of the year. Mark your calendars now to make sure you don’t miss these important events!

 

 

POPS  All Candidates’ Debate
We missed it last year, but it’s back in full force this year! Come out and hear what all the candidates for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) have to say.
November 6

POPS Election
This is it, folks! Time to choose the Animal you think best able to predict on Groundhog Day. Polls open at 10:00 and close at 8:00. Exercise your franchise!
November 7

Keeper of the Nut Selection
Who will it be? Every year, The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) surprises us with their selection of Keeper of the Nut. The announcement will be made in the morning. Don’t forget to add your name to the congratulatory message at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.
November 11

Surrender of the Nut
The ceremony of the Surrender of the Nut touches our hearts as does no other. A recognition not only of the harmony of the species, but of the ephemeral nature of life itself, it is a true celebration of the great unknown. Ceremony begins at 10:30 at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre. Keeper of the Nut will swear the oath at 10:45.
November 14 (Half-day holiday in The Park)

Official Date of Hibernation
Time to say farewell to our hibernating friends! One again, the tree of hearts will mark the road to hibernation. We’ll miss you. Be well. See you in the Spring.
November 17

 

Filed Under: Breaking News Tagged With: November

What’s up in October

October 5, 2017 By TMD Reporters

The Park really heats up in the Autumn, with celebrations, migrations, and hibernation preparation. Here’s a taste of what’s in store for October 17. Mark your calendars!

Yes, folks, it’s that time of year again! Time to screen some great films by Park Animals. PIFFPockets and Noon Nuttiness films are back, as are the parties, the after-parties, and the after-after parties! And the inevitable nail-biting before the awarding of the Golden Claw.
October 1-5

Park Harvest Festival
Let’s celebrate! Our cultivators and growers have been working hard since the Spring, and now they share their bounty with us! With loads of great food to eat and lots of music and entertainment for all ages, it’s bound to be a memorable celebration.
October 11

 
Annual Snowbird Farewell
It’s always bittersweet to say goodbye to our migrating friends and wish them well on their journey. But let’s enjoy this one last party before takeoff! See you in the Spring, migrators!
October 19

 

Annual Account of the State of The Park
It all comes down to this: how are we getting along? Economically? Socially? What is the state of interspecial harmony? Are we there yet? We’ll know for sure on October 27

Filed Under: Breaking News

September on our minds

September 5, 2017 By TMD Reporters

The Park is a busy place in the Autumn, so The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on some of what’s in store for September 2017.

Ready, set, mark your calendars!

Official end of estivationEnd of EstivationMouse and balloons
It’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!

Let the celebrations begin on September 14!

Beats in the Bar
Formerly known as the Open Mic, the now annual Beats in the Bar takes place this year at The Draft from September 8-10. Come out and play! Who knows—you may find yourself performing at the Beats of Burden Musical Festival!

The Beats of Burden Music FestivalBeats of Burden logo
The fifth annual Beats of Burden Music Festival promises three days and three nights of continuous music-making, with all our great bands and singers performing in aid of The Park’s refugees. Expect some surprises (as well as surprise appearances) along with the great sounds. And don’t forget the fabulous food and all sorts of other fun September 15-17.

The Park’s Semi-Annual “Shakeoff”
The Park's semi-annual "Shake for Charity" have changedIt’s all about Animals helping Animals at The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff.” The event encourages Animals to donate their hair in aid of those whose coats can’t protect them from the harsh elements. In addition to helping others, you can also partake of free refreshments and get a new hairstyle from our on-site groomers (gratis, of course!). September 27
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”  

Filed Under: Breaking News

One Thousand Articles!

July 1, 2017 By TMD Reporters

one-thousand

Thank you to everyone who has kept us going all the way to ONE THOUSAND articles!

The Mammalian Daily will continue its story about Animal life in The Park on Twitter. Please join us—Mammalian Daily, Noreen, Hieronymous Hedgehog, Yannis Tavros, Gunnar Rotte, Pieter Paard, and others—there.

And, please join me on my blog at She Came to Play and read all about our adventures.

Filed Under: Breaking News

September on our minds

September 1, 2016 By TMD Reporters

The Park is a busy place in the Autumn, so The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on some of what’s in store for September 2016.

Ready, set, mark your calendars!

Official end of estivation

End of EstivationMouse and balloonsIt’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!

Let the celebrations begin on September 14!

 

The Beats of Burden Music Festival

Beats of Burden logo

The third annual Beats of Burden Music Festival promises three days and three nights of continuous music-making, with all our great bands and singers performing in aid of The Park’s refugees. Expect some surprises (as well as surprise appearances) along with the great sounds. And don’t forget the fabulous food and all sorts of other fun. September 16-18.


The Park’s Semi-Annual “Shakeoff”

The Park's semi-annual "Shake for Charity" have changed

It’s all about Animals helping Animals at The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff.” The event encourages Animals to donate their hair in aid of those whose coats can’t protect them from the harsh elements. In addition to helping others, you can also partake of free refreshments and get a new hairstyle from our on-site groomers (gratis, of course!). September 27
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”  

Filed Under: Breaking News

Remembering Zuberi Tembo on World Elephant Day

August 12, 2016 By TMD Reporters

Screen Shot 2016-08-12 at 9.47.08 AM (1)

Today, all Park citizens mourn the loss of the Endeka Elephant Band member.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Passings

Gunnar Rotte tweets, then takes his case to the Archons

August 10, 2016 By TMD Reporters

Screen Shot 2016-08-10 at 9.00.45 AMGunnar Rotte has never backed away from a fight.

Indeed, he rose to prominence almost two years ago, when he published a controversial editorial in The Rodent Commoner comparing the plight of his own species to that of The Park’s striped and spotted citizens.

Now, the beleaguered journalist and part-time counsellor at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic is doubling down on his mission to make all Park citizens understand the real life challenges of Rodents and, in particular, Rats.

After taking to Twitter yesterday to react to the announcement that this year’s Park ART Walk will celebrate the work of our striped and spotted citizens and to complain that no Park event honours Rodents, Rotte has begun a campaign to pressure the Archons into establishing just such an event.

Calling for an annual , “Rotter Day,” Rotte says he plans to march in front of the law courts and all government buildings until the Archons and the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations agree to his plan.

And he just might be successful.

“I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he got it done,” says Rosbritt Piggsvin, President of Rodents at Risk, a Park charity that aids The Park’s at-risk Rodent community.

“Gunnar is nothing if not persistent,” says Piggsvin, who has known Rotte since his birth.

“He gnaws at things and doesn’t let them go. And on this particular subject, I can tell you, he won’t rest until all Park Animals understand and acknowledge the pain and suffering of Rats and many other Rodents.”

Still, many say it will be an uphill battle for Rotte to get the Archons to agree to add an event to The Park’s calendar so late in their term.

“Yes, he may have to march in the snow, but I’ll bet he’s already put together a plan to confront the new Archons on the day of their swearing-in,” says Piggsvin.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: equality, Gunnar Rotte, prejudice, rats, rodents, specism

July, July: What a month in The Park!

August 1, 2016 By TMD Reporters

  1. Where’s the comma? Ancient Open-Air Theatre rebrands itself for a new era
  2. Harmonious Humphrey and Hannah one year on: what have we learned?
  3. Security workers threaten bark-to-rule action over right to bite policy
  4. Park Museum to present Holstein Fashion’s EDAM Collection
  5. Literacy rates lowest in Park’s feral communities: study
  6. ZEAL to perform at Stereotype Sunday
  7. Is” long haul” government the way of the future? New political group says yes
  8. And then there were ten: Endeka Elephant Band member murdered on trip home to visit family
  9. Park ART Walk to honour bass player Zuberi Tembo with new logo
  10. Flyball Finals take on new significance
  11. Tab Tricolore establishes new annual event: The Feral Roots Festival
  12. Draft Summit update: farmers demand end to Human Direct Investment in Park
  13. GoUnderground Park’s most hospitable shop: survey
  14. Body of Zuberi Tembo interred in Africa; memorial service to be held in Park
  15. Mark your calendars: August 17 is budget day in The Park
  16. Art museum confirms theft of iconic painting, “Swine with Ewe”
  17. Holstein Fashion honours Zuberi Tembo
  18. Coalition calls emergency meeting at Cackling Goose to discuss budget
  19. Did DWBS safety alert come too late for some?
  20. EDAM statistics show how economy affects Animals’ view of domestication
  21. Park Museum’s EDAM Gala sells out

Filed Under: Breaking News Tagged With: July 2016 recap

June was bustin’ out all over. Here’s what happened in The Park

July 1, 2016 By TMD Reporters

bear newspaperEnforced Domestication Awareness Month 2016: Official Schedule of Events

Members of Park’s endangered species feel stigmatized: study

Memes of Production, Beasts of Burden to join pop-up at Cackling Goose tonight

Chef Mikko Tikkeri tries to cope with June slump at The Feeding Station

Tab to take on Tavros with launch of “Liberation Libation” at literary awards

“Diary of a Domestic Dog” favoured to win fiction prize at literary awards

Alvin Tinamou’s nest reported missing

Holstein Fashion adds third show to EDAM lineup

Whoa! BRAKING News: What’s in our new section will stop you in your tracks

Farmers, weather makers, tech company reps agree to summit at The Draft

DWBS to Archons, PFO: increase aid to immigrants, domestication survivors

Tavros-Tricolore war escalates as chef bars radio host from PurrBoy Café

Following in the Barkettes’ footsteps: Belles and Whistles make their debut tonight at Concert for Charity

Filed Under: Breaking News

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