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Archives for November 21, 2023

On This Day—November 21, 2013: Insect Intelligencer rebrands itself as “authoritative” daily

November 21, 2023 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Serangga


The Serangga Star Adviser (formerly The Insect Intelligencer) hit the newsstands yesterday. The rebranded daily will focus on political and social issues and use its “Fly on the Wall” feature to highlight injustice in The Park.

Five months after shutting down and cleaning house, The Insect Intelligencer hit the newsstands again yesterday, but as a very different daily.

Rebranding itself as “The Park’s Most Authoritative Newspaper,” the Intelligencer has a new name, a new Editor-in-Chief and a completely new focus.

“We are going to do our best to make you forget all about the Intelligencer,” said Editor-in-Chief Priscilla Weevil at a press conference this afternoon.

Weevil, who took over after management ousted Fannia di Volo, has worked hard on the rebranding effort and insiders say she influenced everything from the hiring of new reporters to the journal’s new name.

And that name, contends Weevil, says it all.

The Serangga Star Adviser is the paper’s name, as of November 1. And, since it isn’t immediately obvious that it is an Insect newspaper, Weevil is more than prepared to deal with the inevitable questions about the decision.

“The word ‘Serangga’ means ‘Insect’ but not every Animal knows that,” says Weevil.

“We thought it was important to select a name that was Insect-inclusive, but we also wanted to illustrate our commitment to every species in The Park. We want to be the newspaper that all Animals go to for reliable information; we want every species to be able to count on our reporters for the facts and, even more than reporting the news, we want to uncover injustice in The Park and to highlight wrongs that need to be righted,” she says.

The paper’s new mission is a far cry from that of the Intelligencer, whose run came to an abrupt end last June after it printed a front page story announcing that Humans had become an extinct species.

“We try not to look back, but to look forward,” Weevil says. And of all the ambitious plans she listed for the paper she now runs, perhaps the most forward-looking is her re-make of the Intelligencer’s infamous Fly on the Wall feature.

That feature, which began as a mixture of out-of-Park news, gossip, and speculation rapidly spiralled downward as it attempted to feed its readership’s ever-increasing appetite for blood and dirt. Weevil says she intends to use it now, though, “to highlight injustice in The Park and to bring about change, even if it means having to shame those who are causing the injustice.”

To some readers, the changes in the paper may not seem so drastic, after all.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media

On This Day—November 21, 2011: Police call for calm after specist handbook discovered in Park

November 21, 2023 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Archons of The Park, in conjunction with the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW) have issued a call for calm throughout The Park after the discovery of what appears to be a specist handbook.

The book, which was discovered under the Ancient Oak Tree early this morning, is written in the Human English language, experts say. Language specialists at the University of West Terrier are currently studying the book and its contents. In a statement issued at midday, they said they plan to make a full report to the Archons as soon as they have completed their study.

The book was discovered by Rodnina Owl, police confirmed. The Owl was reportedly eating a snack in the Tree, when she noticed something shiny at the base.

“The glossy cover caught my eye and I swooped down to see what it was,” she said in an interview on PBC  Radio late this morning. “I was shocked when they told me what it said.” The Owl does not speak any Human languages.

In their appeal for calm, the Archons emphasized the need for patience on the part of Park Animals.

Two hours after the Archons issued their appeal, Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, fielded questions from residents and media. The major concerns were for Animal security, with many calling for barricades and some suggesting pre-emptive strikes. Calls for an all-out war, fuelled by rumours that Humans intend to take over The Park, were quickly dismissed by FCSW President, Gareth Shepherd.

“We cannot afford to react until we know the full extent of the assault,” said Shepherd.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

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