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Getting to know you, getting to know all about you: Mammalian Daily to publish series of survivor profiles

August 3, 2012 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

The Mammalian Daily announced today that it has engaged the services of a pair of noted biographers to write a series of pieces about refugee Animals who have made their homes in The Park.

The series, which will be called “Survivor Profiles” will appear under the Influential Animals tab on the newspaper’s web site.

“We think we know our friends and neighbours,” said a spokesAnimal for the paper. “But the truth is, there are things we don’t talk about sometimes, such as where we came from and what life was like there. This series will give us a chance to get to know each other in a deeper way.”

The profiles will appear monthly and will be written by biographers Adeola Kifaru and Kamilah Tembo. Kifaru’s latest work, Ululate!, was described in a recent book review as “the most touchingly-written true story published to date”. Kamilah Tembo, who won the biography prize at the 2011 Park Annual Literary Awards (now known as Chitter Radio Literary Awards) for her book, Never Too Soon, is, herself, the daughter of Park refugees.

The Survivor Profile series will begin this month.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life

Radio host in hospital after locking horns with photographer

May 31, 2012 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Controversial Toro Talk Radio host, Yannis Tavros, was admitted to hospital this afternoon after suffering injuries resulting from a scuffle with a photographer.

Witnesses say Tavros was leaving the station after his daily broadcast, when a photographer from The Ruminant Free Press snapped a picture of him.

The enraged Tavros started to grunt, the witnesses report, and “mutter expletives, mostly about the flash in his eyes. Then he warned [the photographer] not to do it again.”

The photographer, reportedly, refused to heed Tavros’s warning and, after snapping a few more pictures, a scuffle with the radio star ensued.

“They locked horns and it took a herd of passersby to get them free,” said one witness, who asked to remain anonymous.

Tavros, bleeding at the scene, was taken by Elephant Emergency Brigade (EEB) to the Park Hospital, where he remains in satisfactory condition.

The photographer, who has been identified as Hannus Hanka, suffered less serious injuries and was escorted back to his workplace.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media

CLucK Radio to reduce air time


May 2, 2012 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

CLucK Radio announced today that it plans to reduce its on-air time by four hours per day, beginning 1 June.

J.J. Chanticleer, CLucK Radio’s manager, called the decision “strictly financial” and said it was due to projected losses in advertising revenue.

“We’re primarily a morning station,” Chanticleer said. “We have a very loyal audience in the early hours of the day and, consequently, loyal advertisers. But, we have been finding it increasingly difficult to support our late-afternoon and early evening programming,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media Tagged With: CLucK Radio

New device may help distinguish news from entertainment

April 23, 2012 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Is it news or is it entertainment?

That is the question that many Park Animals are asking, as the boundary between the two, in both broadcast and print media, becomes increasingly blurred.

Enter KartalTechSolutions, S.A. and their revolutionary new device, the Verifyzer™, which company executives claim solves this “modern dilemma” almost instantly.

“This new instrument will tell you, within five seconds, whether what you’re reading or watching is news or entertainment,” said President and CEO, Fikret Kartal, at the product’s launch this past weekend.

On hand at the outdoor launch, which doubled as a pop-up Verifyzer™ retail store, were many representatives of The Park’s media community, as well as some faculty members of the Cuthbert School of Journalism at the University of West Terrier. Many were eager to voice their skepticism of KartalTech’s claims about the new device.

“The company bases the success of this device on a number of assumptions, the most important of which is that there is an objective — and detectable — difference between so-called news and entertainment,” said Journalism Professor and author, Ludwiga Saimiri. “This is something that journalists strive to define every day of their working lives, but it is not something about which, as yet, anyone can make a definitive pronouncement.”

Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP) was even more adamant:

“There is no such thing as anything [being] objective in the newspaper business,” he said. “These definitions are fluid, they change with the seasons…with the generations; unfortunately, one Animal’s news is, sometimes, another Animal’s entertainment. And vice-versa.”

Also present at the launch was Rodolfo van de Gier, President of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP). Among other things, he took issue with the company’s guarantee of an accuracy rate of 92 per cent.

“The only thing any device can do, as far as I know,” said van de Gier, “is detect the presence of, for instance, celebrities’ names in a print or voice report. But that isn’t necessarily an indication of the nature of the report. Whether you want to admit it or not, celebrities can be involved in ‘real’ news and, sometimes, ‘real’ news can be enormously entertaining,” he said.

In response to van de Gier’s remarks, a KartalTech spokesAnimal, issued this statement:

“With due respect to the AMOP President’s remarks, technology has come a long way from merely detecting names. I invite Mr. van de Gier to attend a full demonstration of our device and to see, for himself, what our new age has to offer.”

While van de Gier has, thus far, made no reply, the Verifyzer™  is scheduled to hit Park stores at the beginning of May.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Technology and Science Tagged With: #entertainment, fake news, news

Archons at work behind scenes to secure reporter’s release

August 4, 2011 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Extra-Hortulanial law expert Fionnula Fox

It may not look as though anything is happening but, rest assured, our 35 Park Archons are working hard behind the scenes to secure the release of imprisoned journalist, ZeeZee Legy.

That is the message contained in a statement from the Office of the Archons and reiterated at a press conference late last night.  Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, confirmed that negotiations are underway with those outside The Park who have been holding Legy in custody since July 21, 2011.

Legy, a reporter for The Insect Intelligencer’s gossipy Fly on the Wall feature, was apprehended in connection with the death of one Human.  Five other reporters who work for the feature were arrested inside The Park after two of the reporters’ Human sources were hospitalized.  They are scheduled to appear in court late in August.

At first, Legy claimed he was not working at the time of the incident but, instead, was visiting family while on vacation.  But in a statement released last week, The Intelligencer’s editor-in-chief, Fannia di Volo, said there had been a misunderstanding and that Legy had, indeed, been on assignment outside The Park.

At the press conference, Alouatta confirmed that efforts to secure Legy’s release had stalled for a time, but they have resumed and the Archons are “cautiously optimistic” about the outcome.  Also present at the press gathering was UWT Law Professor Fionnula Fox, an expert in Extra-Hortulanial law (law that applies outside The Park).  She explained the Archons’ dilemma thus:

“It’s (Extra-Hortulanial law) a hard needle to thread,” she said.  “We can only negotiate with those outside The Park; we have no real power or authority there.  Basically, we have to rely on the goodwill of the people and try to convince them that there was no malicious intent.  If we can convince them of that, then it follows that a repeat of the incident is unlikely.”

Alouatta said that the Archons are expecting a breakthrough “by the end of the weekend” and that Park citizens could keep up-to-date with the negotiations by checking the information board outside the Court House.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media

Park to host first media circus this weekend

July 29, 2011 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life

One Human dead, reporter held for questioning outside Park

July 21, 2011 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Insect Intelligencer reporter ZeeZee Legy

The Insect Intelligencer has confirmed that reporter, ZeeZee Legy, has been held for questioning outside The Park in connection with the death of a Human late last night. The dead Human, whose name has not yet been released by law enforcement, was one of two who suffered injuries last week.  The other was released from hospital three days ago.

In a statement released early this morning, The Intelligencer’s editor-in-chief, Fannia di Volo, expressed her deepest sympathies for the family of the fallen Human and pledged the paper’s “full cooperation” in any investigation into the circumstances surrounding his death.

Reports claim that the two Humans fell ill suddenly outside their homes and were rushed to hospital.  Witnesses at the scene told police that five of the Intelligencer’s reporters were “hovering around” at the time and that at least two of them “had their probosces resting” on the Humans’ arms.

The five reporters fled the scene but were arrested inside The Park within hours of their return.  Only Legy remained outside The Park, where it was reported he had been visiting family while on vacation from the newspaper.

Legy, along with the other five reporters, work exclusively on the Intelligencer’s daily Fly on the Wall feature.  After the arrest of the five reporters, the newspaper’s publishers made the decision to cease publication temporarily.  The reporters were to have been formally charged on July 18, but a backlog in The Park’s court system has caused a delay in the matter.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media

Scandal rocks Insect Intelligencer

July 18, 2011 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

The Insect Intelligencer, one of The Park’s oldest and most authoritative newspapers, has temporarily ceased publication in the wake of a scandal that has resulted in the arrest of five of its staff reporters.

The scandal, which broke over the weekend, involves five of the six journalists assigned to the newspaper’s Fly on the Wall feature.  The mixture of out-of-Park news, gossip, and speculation debuted in 26 AZ (2007) and was an instant success.  A year later, The Intelligencer’s editors made it a regular component of the paper, hiring six new journalists to feed its readership’s ever-increasing appetite for blood and dirt.

While, at first, the feature was considered entertaining and harmless, Fly on the Wall began to take on a more stinging tone and, last week, out-of-Park newspapers reported that two of the sources cited by the journalists had ended up in hospital.  One has since been released; the other remains in critical condition due to an undisclosed illness.

A spokesanimal for The Intelligencer’s editor-in-chief, Fannia di Volo, expressed concern for their well-being, but stressed that no connection had, as yet, been established between the newspaper’s journalists and the health of their sources.

The five journalists are scheduled to appear in court this afternoon.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media

Birds On The Wire: Avian Messenger to sell news services

June 28, 2011 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

The Avian Messenger plans to expand its present newsgathering operations and to offer its services to other news organizations in The Park.

At a press conference this afternoon, AVN Media, S.A., The Avian Messenger’s parent company, announced its intention to increase resources devoted to covering extra-hortulanial news. At the same time, The Avian Messenger will begin to offer a selection of services, including local and extra-hortulanial news stories, feature articles, and commentary to other Park news organizations, as well as to analysts and Park Police services.

The news services, which are scheduled to become available by 1 July, will be offered on a subscription basis, according to the press release.

Confirming that her company is moving to position itself as a leader in newsgathering outside The Park, The Avian Messenger’s Editor-in-Chief, Donatella Falcon, announced the addition of three dozen journalists to its roster.

“These Birds will all be on the wire,” said Falcon, explaining that they will focus exclusively on transmitting extra-hortulanial stories to their home paper and to news service subscribers.

Many Park media analysts have called for more Avian journalists to be stationed outside The Park, saying that they have an edge in covering extra-hortulanial stories and that their services have, thus far, been underused. Others disagree, arguing that, while Avian journalists do bring a different perspective to stories, members of other species are just as able to gather and deliver news stories from outside The Park.

At the press conference, the company also confirmed that it is looking to expand beyond its present media interests.

“We don’t want to put all our eggs in one basket,” said Orville Condor, AVN’s Chief Executive Officer.

AVN Media is a Park-based media corporation, whose holdings include AVN Television and CLucK Radio, as well as The Avian Messenger.

Filed Under: Media

TMD reporters to blog live from Groundhog Day celebrations

February 2, 2011 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Groundhog Day blogger
In a statement released today, The Mammalian Daily confirmed that it will be sending some of its reporters to blog live from The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations on 2 February.

“The Mammalian Daily is seeking to amplify the amount of fun of Park residents at the annual Groundhog Day Festival by hosting a live blog to report on events as they happen in different areas of The Park. This should allow our residents to enjoy virtually everything the Festival has to offer this year,” part of the statement read.
This is the second year that the newspaper has committed a part of its staff to reporting live from the annual celebration.

According to a TMD spokesanimal, the blog was up and running as of 26 January. The blog can be found at: http://www.groundhogdayinthepark.wordpress.com

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Media, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

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