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OTD in 2015—Holstein Fashion signals its intent to move into the hibernation market

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Holstein Fashion

Holstein Fashion announced the creation of its two new subsidiaries today

Holstein Fashion, the parent company of Designs by Holstein, has signalled its intent to move into the hibernation market.

In an announcement issued today, company president and CEO Balbina Ko confirmed that the successful fashion house will be expanding its reach in the coming year.

“We are excited to announce the birth of two new Holstein Fashion subsidiaries, ‘Nation and ‘Nator,” the announcement said.

The companies, though created at the same time, are not “identical twins,” according to Ko. And, while the announcement was coy regarding the actual future business activities of the two subsidiaries, retail insiders claim the expansion into the hibernation market has been in the works for some time.

“The hibernation market is a very lucrative one, and for the most part, it’s been underserved,” says Wellington Whistlepig, founder and current president of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

“I think it fits well with their business model, not to mention their commitment to The Park’s striped and spotted community. It’s taken a few years for Park businesses to realize the market’s potential and, in that sense, HF is a bit of a trail blazer here, but I expect to see more and more of our businesses targeting these consumers in the coming years,” he says.

As it stands, though, The Park’s hibernators will have to make do with our current crop of hibernation outfitters. And that suits them just fine.

“We look forward to meeting their needs,” says Nafari Bongo, Director of Sales for GoUnderground, The Park’s oldest and largest hibernation outfitter.

OTD in 2014—Pre-hibernation sales “brisk” as Park awaits results of POPS election

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Web

2014 pre-hibernation sales are brisk, shopkeepers and service providers report

Hibernation outfitters and service providers are pleased with their sales thus far, according to the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

“2014 looks like a banner year and it comes as a bit of a surprise,” said founder and current PASS president Wellington Whistlepig this morning in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio.

Shopkeepers and grooming houses are reporting “brisk” business this season and the banks have reported larger than average deposits.

“If sales continue at this rate, we could match last year’s figures or even surpass them, which would be an amazing feat, considering that we had two extra weeks of shopping last year,” Whistlepig said.

The 2013 pre-hibernation season was extended from November 17 to December 1, due to difficulties in calculating the votes and establishing a winner in the election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS). The result was an increase in retail sales as well as an increase in expenditures in the construction sector, as Animals used the extra time to renovate their hibernation quarters or to build new ones.

This year, though, the Park Election Office says we can expect the results to be announced well before November 17, the official date of hibernation.

“Gone are the days of next-day results,” Park Election Office head Gerrit Wezel says.

“Our exploding population and the skyrocketing growth in the number of candidates make that impossible. But I can guarantee that we will have the results by the weekend,” he says.

The announcement likely will result in a rush to make last-minute arrangements, so Whistlepig is quick to remind Park Animals that shops will be closed until 1:00 p.m. on Friday, November 14 in order to celebrate the ceremonies of the Surrender of the Nut.

OTD in 2016—”We don’t count votes by species,” Park Election Office head tells media

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vote-by-speciesMembers of the media drew ire this morning from Park Election Office head Gerritt Wezel when they pressed him on the subject of Groundhog participation in Monday’s election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

The media inquiries were made at a short press conference which Wezel had called to issue an update on the counting of votes and the estimated time of announcing the election winner.

But when the conference was opened up to questions, it became obvious that most media representatives were more interested in whether The Park’s Groundhog population had exercised its franchise in this unusual election.

After a few failed attempts to move past the question, a visibly annoyed Wezel issued a terse response: “We don’t count votes by species.”

The answer, though, seemed not to satisfy the media, who then pressed Wezel on the reason for the three polls the PEO conducted before the election, two of which indicated that The Park’s Groundhog population had become disenchanted with the present system.

Wezel did not directly answer that question, but he did confirm that the Archons and the PEO were looking at that polling information “very carefully.”

“All I can tell you right now is that there are going to be changes made to the POPS elections,” he said. “We are rapidly outgrowing this system and we need to take action as soon as possible.”

OTD in 2012—Mixed reaction as Bastiaan Groundhog wins POPS election

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Bastiaan Groundhog: 2013 POPS

Amid roaring applause and loud shouts of support from the crowd, Bastiaan Groundhog accepted the POPS baton from Ulrica Gilda Groundhog, 2012 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring, at a moving ceremony held last night at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

After a gruelling night of debating his fellow candidates on Tuesday, Bastiaan retired to his burrow, where he remained for the entirety of election day. His only trip out was a quick one to the polls, where he cast his vote, presumably for himself.

“It’s a secret ballot, so I won’t say who I voted for,” the Groundhog said, flashing a knowing smile, as he spoke to reporters yesterday outside his burrow. “But I will say that I feel honoured to have been chosen 2013 POPS and I am humbled by the trust my fellow Park residents have put in me. I promise to do my very best on February 2.”

Outside the theatre, however, as the crowd gathered for a look at their new prognosticator, some Animals looked glum and disappointed.

“Same old, same old,” mumbled Sorcha Skunk, referring to the fact that no Animal except for a Groundhog has ever won the POPS election.

Others seemed to agree.

“You have to remember,” said Alexandre Lemure, “that it’s called ‘Groundhog Day’. It’s no surprise that they have the upper hand in the elections.”

Others, though, seemed less disgruntled and more hopeful.

“Last year was the first year that any Animal other than a Groundhog ran,” said Bertrand Macaw. “It’s small steps, but we’ll get there, eventually. In the meantime, we should support Bastiaan. We don’t want him to feel negative energy going into hibernation,” he said.

OTD in 2013—Election results delayed due to record high voter turnout

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Developing StoryResults of the 2014 POPS election have been delayed due to a record high voter turnout, according to the Park Election Office.

The election was held yesterday and this is the first time since 2003, when POPS elections were established, that results have not been announced the following morning.

In a statement released early this afternoon, PEO head Gerritt Wezel acknowledged that his office was unprepared for the numbers of Animals who turned out to cast their vote this year.

“We did not anticipate this degree of interest in the POPS election and we simply do not have the Animalpower, in terms of counting the votes, that would enable us at this time to project the winner with any accuracy,” the statement said.

Wezel confirmed to The Mammalian Daily this evening that he had left his staff go home to sleep and that the vote counting would resume tomorrow morning at 9:00.

OTD in 2016—Doves called back to assist Does of Peace in monitoring polling stations

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vote-hereThe Doves of Peace were called back from migration last week to assist their sister-agency, the Does of Peace, in monitoring polling stations during today’s election.

According to Cornelius Kakapo, director of public relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), the unprecedented decision was made “to ensure the integrity of the election.”

The Doves and Does, who are fully autonomous sub-groups of Park Police, attend Park celebrations and days of significance, but this is the first time in Park history that they have been called to monitor an election.

Speaking last night from a pit stop a few kilometres from The Park, Doves of Peace spokesBird Georgina Golub said the decision to call her group back to The Park was appropriate, “if not prescient.”

“Yesterday’s violence at the All Candidates’ mega rally was a good sign that we should come home and keep the peace during this historic election,” she said.

The violence that Golub referred to at yesterday’s rally started with one attendee deliberately tripping Ekeoma L. Girraaf, who had just finished speaking in support of candidate Yannis Tavros. Tavros’s supporters, including his campaign manager Raimundo Zorro, ganged up on the attendee and held him until Park Police forced them to release him. At that point, supporters of the beaten attendee cornered Zorro and tried to block police access to him. Zorro, who was convicted last year of hate-mongering and engaging in specist activities, was eventually removed from the rally, but not before at least fifty Animals were arrested and many more were taken to hospital.

Golub said that after re-grouping, the Doves would be ready for work at noon today.

“We’re looking forward to monitoring a peaceful and enjoyable election process,” she said.

OTD in 2013—POPS 2014: Let the campaign begin!

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POPS 2014 List of Candidates

The list of candidates for POPS 2014 was released at 2:00 a.m. this morning by the Park Election Office.

The Park’s Election Office has released the names of the 145 Animals who have chosen to stand as candidates for the position of 2014 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

At 2:00 a.m. this morning, the list of candidates was posted at the law courts and in front of the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, the venue that will host tonight’s all-candidates debate. The list will remain posted until all votes are tallied on November 7.

The total number of candidates this year is 145 and they represent a wide variety of species, many of whom have not previously been associated with weather prognostication.

“It’s an increase of more than 500 per cent over last year,” PEO head Gerritt Wezel told The Mammalian Daily this morning.

“We’re going to see quite the fight tonight,” he said. “You can tell from the campaigning so far.”

Some candidates began their campaign at 2:01 this morning, just one minute after the list of candidates was posted. Others, however, opted to wait for more Animals to be awake before they knocked on den doors or slipped their brochures into burrows or tunnels.

“I was up, of course, but I didn’t want to rouse any other Animal from sleep. I don’t think that’s how you get votes,” said Corazón Jirafa, who is the first of her species to stand for election.

Both Jirafa and Blandine Okapi said they believed it was important for them to run, even if they don’t stand a chance of winning.

“There’s been so much talk about striped and spotted Animals not getting a fair shake in The Park, not being treated equally,” said Okapi. “I kind of wanted to test that out and see for myself what kind of reaction I got.”

Candidates will be campaigning throughout the day until the all-candidates debate begins at 8:00 this evening.

“And after that, it’s up to the electorate to ponder its decision in blissful silence,” says Wezel.

OTD in 2016—Significant number of Groundhogs say they won’t vote on November 7

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ballot-boxA significant number of The Park’s Groundhogs say they won’t be voting for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) on November 7.

In a new poll conducted by the Park Election Office on Thursday, twenty-seven percent of Animals who identify themselves as Groundhogs, Whistlepigs, or Marmots said they would not be casting a ballot this year for POPS. The vast majority of those, however, said they would be voting for Keeper of the Nut four days later.

This is the second poll on the subject the PEO has conducted in the last week. The top reasons given this time for sitting out the POPS election were disenchantment with the candidates and the feeling that the election had lost its real meaning and had been “co-opted” by celebrities such as Millicent Hayberry and Yannis Tavros.

In a related poll, sixty-eight percent of respondents said they believed the POPS should be a hibernator.

What do Mammalian Daily readers think? Answer our poll below and we’ll tell you the results when the election is over.

OTD in 2016—POPS populi? SOPS’s Rana makes her case against elections in The Park

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no-voteOne of The Park’s largest political action groups has launched a campaign against holding elections in The Park.

In an op-ed piece published today in The Mantella Morning Post, Sylvana Rana, president of Save Our Political System (SOPS), writes that the recent POPS election campaign has demonstrated “how devastating general elections in The Park would be.”

Among Rana’s arguments against elections, she lists the candidates’ pandering to the electorate, something she says could lead to the winner being the most popular rather than the most qualified.

“The persistent pandering we see from so many of the POPS candidates would be even more devastating to The Park were this to occur during an election for our Archons. Before long, the Archonship would be a position won by personality, style, species, or other attributes that have nothing to do with ability or qualification. And how far down the road would we have to go before the candidates were caught making offers to the voters? Bribery is only a few steps away when this type of election is held,” she writes.

In the op-ed piece, Rana also contends that elections, rather than the present system of sortition, would change the dynamic of the governing body.

“I believe that elected Archons would make only a minimal commitment to the position,” she writes.

“Based on what I’ve seen of the POPS elections and of those held in the Human world, I believe the winners would be much less inclined to do the difficult work of governing. Our present system of selection requires a commitment—driven by a sense of duty— that has become one of the biggest reasons for the success of zoocracy.”

OTD in 2011—Small Animal Community releases 2012 Tulip Map

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In anticipation of the official hibernation date of November 17, the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC), in association with the Confederation of Ground Squirrels (CGS), the Idiosyncratic Hibernators of The Park (IHOP), the Association of Distinct Hibernating Animals of The Park (ADHAP) and the Park Alliance of Chipmunks (PAC), has released its official “2012 Map of Tulip and other Bulb Beds in The Park and Environs.”

The map, which has been one of the highlights of the pre-hibernation season for the past several years, is available for purchase at select stores in The Park.

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