• Home
  • About The Mammalian Daily
    • TMD 101: A quick guide to reading The Mammalian Daily
    • A note about our style
  • Welcome to The Park
    • About The Park
    • Past and Present Archons
  • Park Life
    • Educational Institutions
      • University of West Terrier
      • Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life
      • Leonardo Language and Culture Institute
      • The Hani Gajah School of Art
      • Park School of Aesthetics
    • Shops and Retail
    • Restaurants and Pubs
    • Financial Institutions
      • Currency
    • Health & Well-Being
      • Hospitals and Clinics
      • Directory of Park Health Services
    • Grooming Houses
      • Amoltrud’s Aesthetics
      • En Garde Hair and Skin Salon
      • Halcyon Days Canine Coiffure
      • KwikLiks
      • Tallulah’s Toilettage
      • The Mane Event
      • The Pluming Room
    • Park Services
      • Architects and Construction Services
      • Employment Service
      • Entertainment and Party Services
      • Financial Services
      • Home Services
      • Image and Consulting Services
      • Legal Services
      • Park-Sponsored Programmes
      • Personal Services
      • Real Estate Services
      • Translation Services
      • Travel & Transportation Services
    • Charities
    • Citizen Aid & Action Associations
      • Associations, Federations, and Alliances
      • Political Reform Groups
      • Environmental Groups
      • Immigrant and Citizen Aid Groups
      • Education Groups
    • Sports
  • Arts in The Park
    • Art Galleries in The Park
    • Theatres and Cinemas
    • Music Makers
    • The Barkettes
      • History and Legacy of The Barkettes
      • Thisbe and the Barkettes Celebrate 10 Years of Sensational Singing Success
      • Olden Goldies: Noreen Interviews The Barkettes
      • Thisbe and The Barkettes: Hits and Recordings
    • The Library
    • Book Reviews
  • Media in The Park
    • Newspapers
    • Magazines
    • Radio Stations
    • Television Stations
    • Publishing Companies
    • Mammalian Daily Associated News Services
  • Fun
    • Take Our Quick Quizzes!
    • See Our Ads
      • A Different Reality
      • Fake News
      • Financial Crisis
      • Liquid Assets
      • Monkey See
      • Solid Ground
      • Who We Are
      • Think Outside the Book

The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen
  • Breaking News
    • NewsBits
    • Whoa! Braking News
  • Politics/Law/Crime
    • Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction
    • Past and Present Archons
  • Economy and Business
  • Education
  • Health and Medicine
    • Media
      • Month Without Metaphor
  • Focus on
  • Science and Technology
  • Arts, Entertainment, and Culture
    • Park Life
      • Ask a Poodle
      • Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM)
      • Passings
      • Gossip and Rumour
    • Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF)
    • PIFF Piffle
    • Thisbe and the Barkettes
  • Noreen
    • Dear Noreen Advice Columns
  • Sports
    • Let’s Talk Balls!
  • Interviews
    • Five Questions For…
    • Survivor Profiles
  • Archives
    • Wednesday Rewind
    • Nostalgia
    • From the Vault

OTD in 2015—Tab Tricolore: “Working on this art installation has saved me.”

March 9, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Tab Tricolore

Chef Tab Tricolore

It’s rare for Tab Tricolore to talk publicly about his feelings, but that’s just what happened yesterday.

During an interview with Yannis Tavros on Toro Talk Radio, the celebrity chef and award-winning author let down his guard for just a moment and talked openly about his life since his return to The Park in December.

“There were some very difficult days,” he said, about halfway through the interview.

Tricolore, whose PurrBoy Café opened on March 1 at The Park Museum, said he wasn’t ready to divulge any more details until he has talked to the police. But he did say that one of the bright spots in his life is the work that he’s been engaged in with other artists on an art installation.

The piece, entitled, “La Langue au Repos,” is due to open at the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) this Spring.

“Working on this art installation has saved me,” Tricolore said, as he praised his fellow artists for their open-mindedness in welcoming him into the fold.

“I’ve told them they’re more than welcome to cook at any of my restaurants anytime,” he said. “Under supervision, of course.”

La Langue au Repos will open at the Park Museum of Contemporary Art in April.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: celebrity chef, Tab Tricolore, TNR

OTD in 2016—Yannis Tavros threatens to reveal names of Mammalian Daily reporters

March 8, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

YannisTavros BREAKING NEWS

The Mammalian Daily has its lawyers poised to file a cease and desist order if Toro Talk Radio host Yannis Tavros makes good on his promise to reveal the names of all of the newspaper’s journalists.

In a tweet this morning, Tavros said he planned to reveal the name of one journalist per day until he has named them all:

Tavros tweet

In an earlier tweet, the talk show host asked his followers if they agreed that it was time for the newspaper to reveal the names and species of its reporters. Tavros also claimed last week on his radio show that ninety per cent of Park Animals think it’s time for the paper to make the move toward transparency. He claimed the figure of ninety per cent came from a poll that he commissioned in February, just after Groundhog Day.

“The Animals of this Park have spoken and The Mammalian Daily should listen,” Tavros said in closing his show last Thursday.

In a statement issued an hour after the tweet was posted, TMD Managing Editor Orphea Haas said she would not be bullied into changing the paper’s longstanding policy of anonymous reporting.

“The Mammalian Daily will not bow to pressure from outsiders, particularly those who demonstrate a profound lack of journalistic integrity. When and if our editorial team decides to change our longstanding policy of anonymous reporting, it will be as a result of deep thought, full discussion, and conviction, It will not be the result of bullying,” the statement said.

Tavros has thus far not responded to Haas’s statement, nor has he indicated when he intends to begin naming the reporters.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: bullying, journalism, journalists' names, newspaper ethics

OTD in 2014—Chief Archon Buckminster Moose: The Interview, Part Two

March 7, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

BUCKMINSTER MOOSE

Chief Archon Buckminster Moose

MAMMALIAN DAILY EXCLUSIVE

This is Part Two of The Mammalian Daily’s exclusive interview with 2014 Chief Archon Buckminster Moose. Click here to read Part One.

As the 2014 Chief Archon shifts his weight in the big lounge chair, the full burden of his new job becomes obvious.

“It’s a great responsibility,” he sighs. “And one that I believe hasn’t been taken seriously enough these past few years.”

Moose pulls no punches when it comes to his assessment of some of The Park’s previous governments.

“Tourism, controlling our citizens, pandering to Humans…this is not the work our government should be engaged in,” he declares.

The Chief Archon has his priorities and these do not include any of the above. Instead, the two issues that are foremost on his mind are equality among Animals and a decent standard of living for all who reside here.

Lest one think this should be easy to achieve, Moose explains otherwise.

“Because we are no longer a new zoocracy — we are a young zoocracy, but not a new one — we are running into problems that even Jor [The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy) could not have anticipated,” he says.

“There is now a certain tension between those who were here before, some of whom established this great Park, and those who have arrived more recently.”

Moose, who is himself a second generation Park citizen, says he finds the situation disturbing, “but not surprising.”

“We are all a bit territorial at heart,” he says. “And, once we’ve been here for a while, once we have left our mark on a place, we do tend to think of it as ours and we’re naturally a bit wary of those who come after us — those who might alter it in some way, or even those who benefit from what has been our life’s work. It’s not as if we’re not generous or we don’t want to share; we are and we do. But that doesn’t stop us from claiming certain things as our own and being offended when newcomers want to lay claim to them, as well.”

Moose says he doesn’t have “the ultimate solution” to The Park’s problems, but he does believe that returning to the basic tenets of zoocracy, to the principles that were put in place by Jor, is the right place to start.

“We need to remember where we came from and the reason we established this Park. We need to cohere. We can’t break apart and become, as we seem to be doing, separate beings, each trying to outdo the next. That will only destroy what we worked so hard to create,” he says.

This interview appears here in a condensed form. The full interview will be published later in the month.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Interviews, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

OTD in 0216—Balls columnist lends private collection to Park Museum’s new Flyball exhibition

March 6, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Bailey Balls Columnist

Bailey: balls columnist and co-curator of Park Museum exhibition

The Mammalian Daily’s balls columnist has lent his private collection of balls to The Park Museum’s latest exhibition.

In a statement released today, the Board of Governors of The Park Museum and curator Dorika Pumi thanked Bailey for his “trust and generosity” in making the temporary donation and said the museum had benefitted immensely from his “vast knowledge of balls.”

Entitled, “Flyball and the Importance of Balls in the Everyday Life of Park Animals,” the exhibition is the museum’s first sports-related event. According to the pre-opening information, it will not only highlight the sport of flyball, but will also serve as “a tribute to the enduring relationship between Animals and balls.”

Last July, Bailey announced that he was taking a leave of absence from his column at the newspaper to co-curate the exhibition along with the museum’s head curator Dorika Pumi. His private collection of balls includes over twenty different types, most of which he or his ancestors have used in play. Some, which were bought at auction, date from pre-zoocratic times.

The opening date for the exhibition has not yet been announced, but a spokesAnimal for the museum says public viewing will follow a gala opening, “in the early Spring.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Let's Talk Balls!, On This Day, Park Life, Sports, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: bailey, Balls, exhibition, let's talk balls, park museum

OTD in 0215—PFO head on 2015 budget: “We can’t have tomorrow’s lunch today.”

March 5, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

pie chart

The head of the Park Finance Office has a message for Animals who, she says, may have unrealistic expectations of the 2015 budget.

“We can’t have tomorrow’s lunch today,” she said in a Mammalian Daily Radio interview this morning.

Valentina Abeja, who took office less than a month ago, was responding to a question by a listener about a “more equitable” budget.

Abeja said that after spending the past two weeks mulling over the results of the December public consultations on the budget, she had “renewed faith in the goodness of The Park’s population.”

Still, she cautioned that many of the items that Park Animals listed as “important” or “essential” will be impossible to include in the next two budgets for which she is responsible.

“I would say unequivocally that the future will be rosier, but I am dealing with the present and we have to rein in our expectations,” she replied.

As we are already into the third month of the year, Abeja said her first priority is to present a feasible budget.

“After that, we will have longer to think about 2016 and how to meet both our economic and political goals,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: 2015 budget, Finance head

OTD in 2013—Otter Ice Slide in jeopardy as victim released from hospital

March 4, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The future of the Otter Ice Slide hangs in the balance, as representatives of The Park Weather Office meet tomorrow with the 2013 Archons, Park Finance Officers, and officials from the Department of Well-Being and Safety to discuss the coming year’s budget and planned allocations for weather purchases.

The special meeting will occur just four days after the release from hospital of Boldizsar Vidra, whose tragic accident on the Ice Slide in early January forced the shutdown of that recreational facility for the remainder of the season.

Vidra faces a long convalescence but is expected to make a full recovery, according to a statement released by the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm. But the Ice Slide may never be deemed safe to reopen, after a DWBS investigation found that weather conditions in The Park for the past few Winters have failed to meet the standards for maintaining natural ice surfaces.

“The past few years have seen increasingly warm temperatures in The Park, which we believe are due to budget cutbacks and the misallocation of funds. These funds, which should be going to purchase weather, are being used instead for celebrations and other frivolous things,” said a spokesAnimal for the PWO. “If the Park Finance Office doesn’t get its priorities straight, the residents of The Park will end up paying dearly for their [the PFO’s] mistakes,” the spokesAnimal said.

Winter weather has become increasingly expensive, experts believe, because there is much less of it available now.

“In the old days, it was the cheapest weather we could buy and we bought lots of it,” said the PWO spokesAnimal. “We had some Winters that lasted from October to May. But the price has become prohibitive and the PFO has become stingier and we see the results of that — not just our poor Otter or the loss of our popular Ice Slide, but the rise in deaths from premature awakening, food shortages due to drought, and the increase in domicile destruction,” the spokesAnimal said.

Tomorrow’s meeting will be a historic one, as it marks the first time the Park Finance Office has agreed to sit down with the Park Weather Office to discuss funding decisions. The results of the meeting may not be made public until July, however, when the PFO releases its annual budget.

See also: Park weather office blasts budget, proposes radical change

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2014—Fourth quarter gains prove hibernation a drag on economy, say some analysts

March 3, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Fourth quarter gains

Proponents of abolishing hibernation in The Park may discover they have a new friend in their corner: the latest figures released by The Park Finance Office and The Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

The most recent reports show significant fourth quarter gains in all sectors of The Park’s economy, but particularly in the retail and construction sectors. While these gains were predicted by most analysts and are believed to be a result of 2013’s extended pre-hibernation period, there are some who feel these figures highlight the precariousness of The Park’s economy during the periods of hibernation and estivation.

“How can we expect the economy to function properly when a significant portion of our citizens exist in a state of torpor in both the Winter and Summer seasons?” asked Xavier Dingo, chief financial analyst at A. Corn and Partners, at a recent economic forum.

Dingo has never publicly suggested that hibernation should be abolished, perhaps because his company offers specialized financial services to The Park’s large hibernation and estivation communities. But at the recent forum, he was forthright in his reservations about continuing with the status quo.

“Our economy has stagnated for the past few years and, eventually, The Park will have to face up to its unique problems. We are not singling out any group, but our economic challenges here [in The Park] have become significant. We need to engage all our citizens in a serious conversation about how best to grow the economy. Otherwise, we will become vulnerable to forces that do not have our best interests at heart,” he said.

See also:
Park’s retail, construction sectors expected to post strong gains after extended pre-hibernation period

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day

OTD in 2017—Don’t miss these Springtime events!

March 2, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

upcoming-event There’s always a lot of work to do come Springtime. But don’t forget to mark your calendar for these annual Park events!


Otter Slide participant
March 13: Closing date for the Otter Ice Slide
Yes, it will be another Winter come and gone. So, get yourself over to the Otter Ice Slide while the weather still permits. There’s no feeling like it, but that feeling won’t last past March 13.

Polar BearMarch 25: Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic
One of our most beloved seasonal and artistic events. Now in its twenty-second year, the Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic has expanded to include haiku and rap, but the format of the day remains the same. And here’s a cautionary word from the organizers: watch the weather forecast and dress appropriately to avoid frozen nose syndrome.

The Park's semi-annual "Shake for Charity" will now be called "The Shakeoff"March 29: The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff”
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”
Formerly the “Shake for Charity,” this semi-annual event aids those who have no coat. The Shakeoff also offers free grooming and refreshments to participants.

tulipsMarch 30: Tulip season
Yes, it’s that time of year already. Tap on your apps to find the latest emerging bulbs. If you need any technical help, our resident experts at The Mammalian Daily will be on hand to aid you in locating your favourite Springtime snack.

April 8-10: The Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual “Broopee Days”cat-and-dog-drinking
Are you a Broopee? We’re all Broopees during the Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual Broopee Days! So invite your friends—of all species—and share the super-specials! And don’t forget the instant win contests!

Footpad HeavenApril 15: Footpad Heaven Clearance Sale
Don’t be a slave to style! Even though it may be last year’s stock, FH’s Toepads, Footpads and other clearance accoutrement are brand new. Indulge yourself at half the price!

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day Tagged With: Annual Park Springtime Events, poetry, sales, Spring

OTD in 2016—Time Marches on: here’s what happened in The Park in February

March 1, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

WatchDog groups warns of impending newspaper warFocus On: Archons’ Address

Groundhog Day recap: great weather, massive turnout, POPS sees shadow

Directors’ Guild ousted me as prez due to my politics: Douglas Cheetah

Politics, violence mar celebration of the birth of The Park’s first leader

Gunnar Rotte, Douglas Cheetah to debate tomorrow on Yannis Tavros show

Wilkommen, Bienvenue: A guide to welcoming back our hibernating friends

No-biting rule suspended for police at Saturday’s Return of the Nut: gossip site

Rapper Will.o.be. under fire for criticism of zoocracy after Return of the Nut

Mating Dance organizers announce partnership with gewper for 2016 event

Rehearsals to resume in March on Millicent Hayberry mystery series

Hair and skin colouring, stripe removal hurt Park, says Artifice Destiny author

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day Tagged With: February 2016, Park news

OTD in 0215—Museum of Contemporary Art announces appointment of curator

February 28, 2026 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park Museum of Contemporary Art

Aamuun Maroodiga will become the PMoCA’s head curator on Monday

The Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) has appointed a new head curator.

In a communiqué released today, Aulikki Norsu, president of PMoCA’s board of directors, confirmed that Aamuun Maroodiga will assume the duties of head curator beginning on Monday, March 2.

“After an exhaustive search, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed Aamuun Maroodiga as head curator of the museum.

Maroodiga will bring to the job her extensive experience as an artist and her many years spent teaching the Tuskan technique at the Hani Gajah School of Art. We look forward to working with her and we are excited about this new era in the museum’s life,” the communiqué says.

Maroodiga succeeds Dorika Pumi, who left the PMoCA to become head curator at The Park Museum, which opens this weekend.

Pumi was responsible for a great deal of the innovation for which the PMoCA became known, including its first art installation in 2013, entitled, How Much Was That Doggie in the Window?  She was also responsible for the Museum’s K-NONical Kismet exhibit and the controversial but well-received series of sketches entitled, Better To Be Lost Than Loved.

Maroodiga is expected to follow Pumi’s innovative path. Her first exhibit will be the 2015 art installation which Chef Tab Tricolore is collaborating on with a number of artists. Its unveiling is expected in the late Spring.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: art museum, curator, innovation

Next Page »

Follow Us

  • X
  • Facebook
  • YouTube

Mammalian Daily-Related Sites

  • The Park Census
  • The Park Museum
  • The University of West Terrier

The Mammalian Daily on Twitter

  • Chef Tab Tricolore
  • Gunnar Rotte
  • Hieronymous Hedgehog
  • Mammalian Daily
  • Media's Month Without Metaphor
  • Millicent Hayberry
  • Noreen
  • Park Groundhog Day Celebrations
  • Pieter Paard
  • PIFF Reports
  • Yannis Tavros

Welcome to the Media Circus!

Looking for something?

Archives

How wise you are to read this newspaper!

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

TMD quick links

  • TMD 101: A quick guide to reading The Mammalian Daily
  • The Best of Noreen
  • Interviews
  • Take Our Quick Quizzes!
  • Nostalgia: Celebrating 1,000 articles!

Join TMD on Facebook

Join TMD on Facebook

Click below to see what others say about us

CATCH UP HERE!

March 2026
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Feb    

Contents Copyright © 2026 The Mammalian Daily