DEAR POODLE: I come from a long line of award-winning Poodles. Both my mother and father were champions – in fact, they met on the show circuit and have been together ever since. My five littermates and I are all interested in following in our parents’ footsteps, but we’ve been told that we have no chance of winning because we all have black coats. They say that black is out and pink is in. We are so disappointed. Should we dye our coats to suit this current trend or should we continue to compete, au naturel? – BLACK AND BLUE
DEAR BLACK AND BLUE: If I have only one life to live, let me live it as a pink Poodle?
Seriously, folks, what has gotten into us? This whole “pink Poodle” thing smacks of an unmentionable sensibility (can you spell H-U- M-A-N?) and I don’t understand why we’ve fallen for it.
Even though I abhor psychology, I do wonder why so many of us are not content with the selves that we are. While I’ve never been against a little dash of something here or there, just to enhance what is naturally wonderful, the idea of undergoing the sort of dye-job you mention sends shivers down my tail.
Now, I won’t even address the obsessive need that we Poodles have to exhibit ourselves, but I will say this: no matter what anyone tells you, pink is NOT the new black. It is unnatural, unnerving and, more than anything else, it is untrue to who we are.
Let me humbly suggest that, instead of thinking about changing yourself to suit someone else’s vision, you and your littermates might be better off pursuing a different – dare I say, more meaningful — career. And one, perhaps, for which black is best.
Ask a Poodle is a regular feature of The Mammlian Daily and The Mammalian Daily online. If you have a question for the Poodle, please e-mail it to her at firstname.lastname@example.org. We regret that the Poodle cannot send responses directly to you.