It was comfortably warm yesterday afternoon and outside the law courts, a crowd gathered to watch Hieronymous Hedgehog take the oath of office as The Park’s first official Hibernation Ambassador.
Standing at the podium afterwards to deliver a short but moving speech, his spines sparkled in the midday sun. He paused just once to brush away a tear as he spoke of his much beloved uncle, Hamlin Jarvis Lambert Hedgehog, who served as Archon in 2000 and died in 2008, a victim of premature awakening from hibernation.
“I never thought I’d be able to pay tribute adequately to my Uncle Hamlin,” Hieronymous said. “And I never thought I’d have the chance to thank him for all he did for me and for The Park.
This honour—and this opportunity—mean everything to me. By sharing everything I know (and then some) about the process of hibernation, I will be contributing to interspecial understanding in The Park. But even more than that, I hope to save lives during my tenure. Because—let me warn you—I intend to take full advantage of my new position to raise awareness of the perils of premature awakening and its underlying causes. It’s the least I can do, not just for my Uncle Hamlin, but for the many victims of PA and their friends and families,” he said.
He also pledged to begin his new job “as soon as I leave this podium,” since the official date of hibernation is just two weeks away.
“I say,” he concluded with a smile, “I’ll be working nonstop until I go into hibernation myself, and by that time, you’ll be glad not to hear from me for a while.”
For everything you ever wanted to know about hibernation, follow Hieronymous on Twitter at HieronymousH.
