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Groundhog finally POPS up at Anixi Agrarian Jubilee

May 29, 2013 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

2013 POPS Bastiaan Groundhog made his first public appearance at the Anixi Agrarian Jubilee. The POPS has been in seclusion since the Groundhog Day debacle began.

2013 POPS Bastiaan Groundhog made his first public appearance at the Anixi Agrarian Jubilee last Monday. The Groundhog had been in seclusion after receiving threats against his life when the prediction he made proved wrong.

Some may see the annual Anixi Agrarian Jubilee as the beginning of The Park’s busy social season, but there is one Groundhog who viewed this year’s event as more of an ending, and a happy one at that.

Bastiaan Groundhog, 2013 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) chose last Monday’s occasion to end his time in seclusion and make the first public appearance of his post-POPS life. Since he made his prediction on February 2, (which proved to be inaccurate), he had not been seen; threats against his life made it necessary for him to remain in hiding until it was deemed safe for him to emerge. Luckily for him, The Park Weather Office owned up to their own mistakes regarding weather transportation in time for him to attend the Jubilee.

“I love the Jubilee. It’s one of my favourite celebrations, so I decided to make it a pop-up event,” he joked on Mammalian Daily Radio this morning.

Asked directly about his reaction to the death threats, the Groundhog said he knew that Park Police took it very seriously (as of now, they have made twelve arrests in the ongoing investigation) but he thought it was just frustrated Animals blowing off some steam.

“I called it my praedictio ad absurdum,” he joked. “I thought the threats were ridiculous. I couldn’t believe it was worth killing me over a few extra weeks of snow.”

As for his future plans, Bastiaan Groundhog says that while he is behind in his life, he is up to speed on Park gossip.

“I kept my ear to the ground the whole time I was in seclusion…and I had some dedicated informers who helped keep me current. And that’s the most important thing.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life

POPS remains in seclusion as snow blankets Park

April 20, 2013 By TMD Reporters

2013 POPS, The Right Honourable Bastiaan Groundhog, remained in seclusion this weekend as snow blanketed The Park and temperatures failed to rise to seasonal levels.

The 2013 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) remained in seclusion at an undisclosed location this weekend as snow blanketed The Park and temperatures failed to rise to even near-seasonal values.

As Bastiaan Groundhog, The Park’s tenth zoocratically-elected POPS looked to his own safety after receiving threats against his life, Park citizens began to demand answers regarding the Groundhog’s prognostication abilities. Some have even accused the POPS of deliberately misrepresenting himself on his résumé and in the pre-election debates held this past Autumn.

“I had reservations about him from the beginning, but no one would listen,” said W.H. “Skipper” Skunk, who also ran as a candidate for the position. “They said I was raising a stink for no good reason.”

Malka Eekhoorn, a 2013 candidate as well, says she experienced the same reaction when she expressed her opinion.

“Everyone turned away when I said I thought he was too young, too inexperienced. But he was. He was zealous for sure, but it takes more than passion to be a good prognosticator. You have to have what my grandfather used to call a ‘weathered nose for weather’ and you don’t get that until you’ve seen a few seasons,” she said.

Still, the POPS has his supporters, many of whom blame  the cutbacks by The Park Weather Office for this year’s troubles.

“With a decent, straightforward purchase [of weather], Bastiaan would have been correct,” said his longtime friend Dylan “Diesel” Weasel. “But with all this cost-cutting, how’s a Groundhog to know, from one day to the next, what will be thrown at him? He saw what he saw on February 2, but how was he to know that they bought better weather for February than they did for April? You can only predict based on what you see on the day,” he said.

The Park Weather Office has not commented on the Groundhog’s prediction, but it issued a statement this morning saying that warmer weather would arrive in The Park by the end of the month.

See also:

Threats force POPS to flee to “undisclosed location”
Mixed reaction as Bastiaan Groundhog wins POPS election
Focus on: Groundhog Day 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

Threats force 2013 POPS to flee to “undisclosed location”

March 18, 2013 By TMD Crime Reporters

Bastiaan Groundhog, 2013 POPS:
Threats made on his life have resulted in his flight to an undisclosed location

Bastiaan Groundhog, the zoocratically-elected 2013 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) has been removed from his burrow and will remain at an “undisclosed location” for an extended period of time, his handlers said today.

At a hastily scheduled press event, spokesAnimals for the 2013 POPS confirmed that threats made on the Groundhog’s life were the reason for the hasty exit from his burrow.

“On seventeen separate occasions, Bastiaan Groundhog, Park Animals’ choice for 2013 POPS, has received threats against his life,” said Klazina Woodchuck, one of the Groundhog’s handlers.

The threats began late in February and continued until a few days ago, Woodchuck said. It is believed that they were brought on by the slow growth of vegetation in The Park and the unseasonably cold temperatures and grey skies. The 2013 POPS had predicted an early Spring on Groundhog Day. The threats imply that the Groundhog either deliberately lied to the public or that he misrepresented his prognostication abilities. In either case, whoever is making the threats believes the POPS to be personally responsible, in some way, for the delay in Spring’s arrival.

“The threats carry strong wording and we are taking them very seriously,” said Park police spokesAnimal Serge Malinois, who also attended the press event.

And while Malinois was tight-lipped about the possible perpetrators of the threats, he did confirm that Park police had a number of suspects under investigation.

“All I can tell you at this point is that our list of suspects is a long one,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

Archon’s nephew blasted over Groundhog Day remarks

February 13, 2013 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

The nephew of a former Archon is being criticized for remarks he made this month in an interview during The Mammalian Daily’s live coverage of The Park’s annual Groundhog Day celebrations.

Hieronymous Hedgehog, who has been described as one of The Park’s great citizens, had been out of hibernation for only three hours when he consented to an interview with Mammalian Daily reporters. When asked his impression of the festivities, the Hedgehog was openly critical of some aspects of the celebrations, including the Park Historical Society’s film tribute to zoocracy.

“I don’t know about this movie…That sounds a touch…Human,” he said. He went on to express a number of other controversial opinions, including his belief that Humans’ interest in The Park is restricted to “our natural resources, our wealth,” and that running The Park is a job that even its resident Animals were hesitant to do.

“Nobody wants to take over The Park,” he said. “Look how long it took us to accept the responsibility.”

These last remarks were quoted yesterday by Yannis Tavros in the opening essay of his popular talk show on Toro Talk Radio.

“It seems as though even the nephew of an Archon can be anti-Animal at heart,” Tavros began. He continued his tirade against the Hedgehog, accusing him of being “openly un-zoocratic, given to delusions of grandeur, and a phony” before he ended by calling the Hedgehog “part of a family that isn’t even smart enough to know when to come out of hibernation.”

This last remark was denounced as being “over the top” and “gratuitously cruel” by a spokesAnimal for The Park’s hibernating communities. Hieronymous Hedgehog’s uncle, Hamlin Jarvis Lambert Hedgehog, died as a result of premature awakening from hibernation on February 3, 2008. Deaths from premature awakening have risen substantially over the past few years. Hamlin Jarvis Lambert Hedgehog served as Archon in 1998.

For his part, Hieronymous Hedgehog has not had a chance to respond to Tavros’s tirade. He returned to his burrow late on Groundhog Day and is not expected to surface until February 19, the official end of the hibernation period. In his absence, though, his friends and compatriots have taken up his cause, calling for Tavros’s resignation and threatening to boycott not only his show, but his radio station.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Media, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

Groundhog Day coverage

February 3, 2013 By TMD Reporters

For the fourth year, Mammalian Daily reporters blogged live yesterday from events at The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations.

For a recap of the day, go to: groundhogdayinthepark.com or click on the photo at the left.

And, remember, the real time coverage starts at the bottom of the page.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life

2013 POPS Bastiaan Groundhog predicts an early Spring

February 2, 2013 By TMD Reporters

The Right Honourable Bastiaan Groundhog, 2013 POPS

At precisely 07:59 this morning (Official Park Time), 2013 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) Bastiaan Groundhog predicted an early Spring for The Park.

The POPS, who left his burrow at 07:57, greeted well-wishers as he walked to the official prognostication mound. When he arrived at the mound, he waved to the crowd, stood still for one minute, failed to see his shadow, and proclaimed an early Spring. The official proclamation was signed at 08:00.

“I’m glad it’s over,” the Groundhog said to reporters and festival-goers, as he made his way toward the stands for the Archons’ address. He took his place in the front row, just behind the lectern and beside the other 34 Archons.

“The pressure was enormous. Unless you’ve been POPS, you can’t really understand that. I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders,” he said.

After the festivities, the POPS confirmed his plans to return to his burrow until the official end of hibernation on February 19.

“I need the rest,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life

Focus on: Groundhog Day

January 29, 2013 By Riikard Havik, TMD Focus Reporter

 

A major Park occasion, Groundhog Day has its roots deep in the Animal tradition of weather prognostication. The Park’s elaborate, all-day celebration of this important day attracts hundreds of thousands of Animals annually. And modern Park life has endowed the day with a political significance, as well: Park citizens and residents, who are eager to discover what the new year has in store for them, await the annual Archons’ address—the first official speech given by the thirty-five newly-selected Archons.

ORIGIN AND HISTORY
In the beginning, there was the Groundhog. One of The Park’s founding families, the Groundhogs staked out their territory in the prairie lands of The Park long before zoocracy was established.

As more Animals began to inhabit The Park, the Groundhogs settled into their rôle as Park Elders. Oftentimes, it was the Groundhogs who were consulted in Park matters, particularly those of weatherly import.

The First Prediction
The first prediction of weather in The Park was made on 2 February, 65 BZ (Before Zoocracy), by E. Bromley Groundhog. It was a casual prediction, made without fanfare, outside E. Bromley’s burrow. He predicted an early Spring. The Spring of 65 BZ arrived on 5 March. The present year is 2022 (40 AZ — After Zoocracy).

The Tradition
The following year, E. Bromley Groundhog made another prediction on 2 February. It, too, was an accurate prediction. In short order, it became an informal Winter tradition for Park Animals who were not hibernating to call on E. Bromley at his burrow in early February in order to hear his prediction for the coming Spring.

This went on until 57 BZ, when a delegation of Animals attended at E. Bromley’s burrow, only to discover that the venerable Groundhog had succumbed to old age. The delegation, at a loss for what to do, quickly appointed E. Bromley’s daughter and son to the post of “predictors.” In alternate years, the Groundhogs served as accurate “predictors,” until their children took over the job.

Eventually, the growing number of E. Bromley’s descendants caused there to be competition for the respected post of “predictor.” The Groundhogs began to engage in territorial wars and slanderous campaigns. In order to quell the rising tide of Groundhog anger, Park Archons decided to establish the title of Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) and to award it, every year, to their own choice of E. Bromley’s descendants.

The Controversy
Animals evolve. Politics evolve. New blood refreshes tired, old organs, old assumptions no longer seem viable, and old rules no longer hold sway. In 2003 (21 AZ), a group that called itself “Spring’s Unsprung Heroes” brought forth a legal challenge to The Park’s age-old practice of awarding the job of Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) to the descendants of E. Bromley Groundhog.

The Decision
In his landmark decision in that case, Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court wrote that “The Park’s current practice [of awarding the job on the basis of heritage] is unacceptable in a modern Park.”

Peabody Q. Groundhog was allowed to fulfill his duties as 2003 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring. Thereafter, the Judge ruled, the position would be decided in an open election held every year on 7 November. The date of 7 November was chosen as the date of the election because it allowed sufficient time for the winner to make preparations before the official hibernation date of 17 November.

Groundhog Day Today
Much has changed since the first elections were held for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS). Since 2006, The Park has welcomed the candidacy of Animals of other species and many believe it is only a matter of time before a non-Groundhog POPS makes the all-important prediction on February 2.

From the Personal to the Political
Groundhog Day has been an important occasion and a full-day holiday in The Park for many years. But, in 2005 (23AZ), the newly-selected Archons chose The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations as the venue for their first official speech. Since that time, each new set of Archons has chosen to reveal its plans for the coming year in a speech given by the Chief Archon at the Groundhog Day celebrations.

Further Reading
For more information on The Park’s Groundhogs, we recommend:

Me and My Shadow: A Groundhog’s Memoirs
by Nigel T. Groundhog
Birch Bark Books, 200 pages

From The Mammalian Daily’s review
“This is not a book about family pride… It is a deeply-felt and honestly-written portrayal of the trials of Animal migration, of the pain and loneliness of specism, and of the exquisite joy of success and acceptance after many years of frustration. In a Beaverlike fashion, the author gnaws away at Groundhog stereotypes and lays bare for us the burden that is borne by the prescient mammal.”

For the full review, click here.

The archival material used in the preparation of this article was made available to The Mammalian Daily by the Association of Distinct Hibernating Animals of The Park (ADHAP). We thank them for their generosity. We also gratefully acknowledge the assistance of members of The Park Historical Society, Gertrude C. Owl, Dean of the Cuthbert School of Journalism, University of West Terrier, the Department of History, University of West Terrier, and the Idiosyncratic Hibernators of The Park (IHOP).

Filed Under: Breaking News, Focus on, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction

Funding boost a wake-up call for Groundhog Day organizer

January 27, 2013 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

A funding boost for this year’s Groundhog Day celebrations came as a welcome surprise to the festival’s chief organizer, Wyatt Whistlepig, Jr.

What a difference a few years can make.

“I’m the envy of everyone today,” says a sleepy but delighted Wyatt Whistlepig, Jr., chief organizer of The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations.

Less than a week before one of the biggest events in The Park’s calendar, The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations roused Whistlepig from the depths of hibernation to tell him he was the beneficiary of some last minute accounting.

“It’s a windfall — a small fortune — for us here,” says Whistlepig. “And we really need it. The last few years have been very difficult for us,” he says.

While three straight years of budget cuts have sent Whistlepig scrambling to find inexpensive ways to do right by the important holiday, this year’s boost in funding means he now has a lot more leeway, financially speaking. But, not a lot more time.

“These events are planned well in advance and making last minute changes isn’t easy,” Whistlepig says.

In the space of a few days, he will have to order more food and more decorations. And, even more importantly, he says, he’d like to hire more musicians and other performers.

“In many ways, they’re the lifeblood of the festival,” he says.

Whistlepig, who has been organizing The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations for the past ten years, says he’s never grown tired of the work nor cynical about the event.

“This holiday is a major Park occasion. It signals the coming of Spring, the renewal of life, the hope of the future. It’s not just about a prediction; it’s about a certainty — the certainty that we have survived, and that we will thrive, no matter what we face,” Whistlepig proclaims.

And, as he is every year, Whistlepig is determined to make it a memorable event for all Park Animals.

“This is not a celebration to miss,” he says. “It is a very important part of The Park’s social season, and it speaks to our sense of ourselves as Park citizens. No one should miss it.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

Schedule of events for Groundhog Day celebrations released

January 24, 2013 By TMD Reporters

The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has released the Official Schedule of the 2013 Groundhog Day Celebrations.

At a morning press conference, Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the department, announced plans for what many have called the most lavish Groundhog Day celebrations in recent Park history.

“Those who attend the celebrations annually will note some additions to this year’s festival, including a Park Historical Society tribute to zoocracy and a number of surprises, in addition to the requisite components of the celebration,” she said.

And, once again, Mammalian Daily reporters will be blogging live from the celebrations, beginning at 06:00 on February 2.

Details of the festivities can be found by clicking here.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

Mixed reaction as Bastiaan Groundhog wins POPS election

November 9, 2012 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

Bastiaan Groundhog: 2013 POPS

Amid roaring applause and loud shouts of support from the crowd, Bastiaan Groundhog accepted the POPS baton from Ulrica Gilda Groundhog, 2012 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring, at a moving ceremony held last night at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

After a gruelling night of debating his fellow candidates on Tuesday, Bastiaan retired to his burrow, where he remained for the entirety of election day. His only trip out was a quick one to the polls, where he cast his vote, presumably for himself.

“It’s a secret ballot, so I won’t say who I voted for,” the Groundhog said, flashing a knowing smile, as he spoke to reporters yesterday outside his burrow. “But I will say that I feel honoured to have been chosen 2013 POPS and I am humbled by the trust my fellow Park residents have put in me. I promise to do my very best on February 2.”

Outside the theatre, however, as the crowd gathered for a look at their new prognosticator, some Animals looked glum and disappointed.

“Same old, same old,” mumbled Sorcha Skunk, referring to the fact that no Animal except for a Groundhog has ever won the POPS election.

Others seemed to agree.

“You have to remember,” said Alexandre Lemure, “that it’s called ‘Groundhog Day’. It’s no surprise that they have the upper hand in the elections.”

Others, though, seemed less disgruntled and more hopeful.

“Last year was the first year that any Animal other than a Groundhog ran,” said Bertrand Macaw. “It’s small steps, but we’ll get there, eventually. In the meantime, we should support Bastiaan. We don’t want him to feel negative energy going into hibernation,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Politics/Law/Crime

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