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OTD in 2004—Guard Dogs, Park fail to reach agreement; union set to stage bark-to-rule

April 6, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

In what may prove to be the biggest test of loyalty The Park has ever faced, hundreds of Guard Dogs have been given the go-ahead by their union to stage a Bark-to-Rule action. That action could take effect as early as midnight tonight.

The Canines, who are members of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW), were told of the decision early this morning, after union negotiators walked away from the table, having failed to reach an agreement with Park administration. The force of over 200 forms the backbone of The Park’s security system and has been working without a contract for six months.

A spokesanimal for The Park said she was “deeply disappointed” that the union had not seen the negotiations through to a conclusion.

“This could affect our reputation in the wider world,” she said.

The Federation, for its part, roundly criticized the Park’s chief negotiator, Pia Hyena, for her decision to bring the issue of loyalty to the bargaining table. The FCSW, in turn, has filed a grievance with the Park’s Animal Rights Commission, alleging that the introduction of a personality trait to employment negotiations constitutes a violation of the rights of all Animals.

“This is the first time that the issue of loyalty has been put on the bargaining table. We all agree that it’s inappropriate,” said FCSW spokesanimal, Gareth Shepherd.

One particularly contentious issue in the contract dispute is the Guard Dogs’ claim that they need to hold second jobs in order to make ends meet.

“Too many of us have been living foot to mouth for far too long,” said Shepherd.

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