The Marine Mammal Bank of the Park (MMBP) has reported record first-quarter gains for 2008, thanks to the performance of its personal banking division. The Park’s third largest bank reported an increase in deposits of 150% over the same period last year. The bank now estimates earnings for 2008 at twice those of last year. That figure was revised upward from a previous estimate of 160%. According to Park law, banks that do business solely … [Read all...]
Breaking News
OTD in 2015—Alvin Tinamou to offer Month Without Metaphor advice daily on radio show
Attention all participants in May's Month Without Metaphor (and all those interested in the practice of journalism): Set your dial to AVN Radio (Radio 286.7) at 4:00 every day from now until June 1. Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger and one of the organizers of May's annual Month Without Metaphor (MWM) will be offering free advice on how to tell news stories without embellishing them with "unnecessary metaphors." Tinamou's … [Read all...]
OTD in 2016—Stand-alone education advocates use buttons to kick off new campaign
Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon usually keeps to himself, but this weekend we'll be seeing his image everywhere, if a new pro-education group has its way. The group, which calls itself "Park Citizens for Stand-Alone Education," has used the judge's image and his most recent ruling that all Animals have the right to remain stupid, to kick off their campaign in favour of building stand-alone educational institutions for The Park's young. In a … [Read all...]
OTD in 2017—DWBS “disappointed” that Mating Dance selfie warnings not heeded
For the second year in a row, selfies and other photos of Park Animals that were taken during last Friday's Mating Dance have been posted on the internet. "It appears that our repeated warnings to Park Animals to take precautions against Humans photographing them taking selfies fell on deaf ears," said Cornelius Kakapo, Director of Public Relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), at a press conference this morning. While … [Read all...]
More Park News
OTD in 2014—Park Museum to mark Enforced Domestication Awareness Month
The Park Museum, which is scheduled to open officially in the Autumn of 2014, has announced that it will use part of a ground floor wing to host an exhibit marking June's Enforced Domestication … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2014—Thisbe and The Barkettes to appear together at Anixi Agrarian Jubilee
MAMMALIAN DAILY EXCLUSIVE Thisbe and the Barkettes are planning to appear together on May 20 at the 2014 Anixi Agrarian Jubilee. According to a source close to the popular singing group, the decision … [Read All About It Here...]
OTD in 2016—Fowl Ball fully hatched: organizer touts mature event for 2016
The Fowl Ball is all grown up and ready to be the "main event"of The Park's Spring social season. "We had some growing pains, there's no doubt about that. But we're happy to say we're over them and … [Read All About It Here...]
Accolades from Margaret Atwood
The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood
