Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

What’s up in May is bound to be merry!

April 29, 2019 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Spring is busting out all over, so there’s plenty to look forward to in The Park in May. Put these events on your calendar:

May 1-31: Park Media’s Month Without Metaphor
If you care about language and the way media use it, follow Month Without Metaphor. Now, in its sixth year and under the direction of The Serangga Star Adviser’s Priscilla Weevil, the month-long check on media has expanded to include spotlighting our own use—and misuse—of language and the effects thereof. Keep up with MWM every day here on Twitter or grab a KartalTech VerifyzerMHM™ and start your own search for metaphor, hypberole, and manipulation.

May 1: Toe-Hair Contest
We’ve been waiting all Winter and now we finally get to see who grew the longest and thickest toe-hairs. Have fun, argue about the outcome, and get inspired for next year!

May 5: Annual Park Mating Dance
It’s the most important mating event in The Park and the ongoing partnership with gewper, the only scented social networking site, will make finding your perfect mate simpler and quicker! Registration opens on May 2.

May 20: Anixi Agrarian Jubilee
Come celebrate Spring in The Park, and the cultivators, planters, growers, and farmers who produce our Summer and Autumn bounty!

May 30: Otter Mud Slide Opens
It’s that time of year again! Slip and slide your way to fun in The Park. There’s no doubt: you “otter” do it!

May 31: The Fowl Ball
The most important event in The Park’s Spring social season, this charity gala raises funds to aid The Park’s Avian Community. It’s also a great opportunity for Park Animals to show off their new coats and Spring finery. Be sure to make your grooming appointment early!

Look what’s coming up in April

April 1, 2019 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

April will shower you with special events, so mark these dates on your calendar!

April 8-10: The Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual “Broopee Days”
Are you a Broopee? We’re all Broopees during the Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual Broopee Days! Try the super-specials in April and don’t forget to enter the instant win contests!

April 15: Footpad Heaven Clearance Sale
Don’t be a slave to style! Even though it may be last year’s stock, Footpad Heaven’s Toepads, Footpads and other clearance accoutrement are brand new. Indulge yourself at half the price!

April 13-14: Spring Shoots Mini Feral Roots Festival
Let celebrity chef Tab Tricolore be your host at this new Spring event! Enjoy fresh bulbs, shoots, and other feral delicacies fresh from the ground at grassRoutes.

April 20: Happy 4th Birthday, KwikLiks!
There’s gonna be a party! Come celebrate #4 with proprietress Maitea Behi and her team! There’ll be free flash grooming, music, prizes, and lots of treats for the whole family!

April 26-28: Mapping A Changing Landscape: University of West Terrier Hosts Three-Day Symposium on The Park of the Future
This three-day symposium will see a panel of experts, including zoographers, ecologists, geographers, historians, and population specialistsdraw heavily on historical trends in order to create a “map” of The Park as it will be fifty years from now. Keynote speakers will be BirdBrains directors Gwendolyn Goose and Henry Gander, authors of “Zoocracy After Thirty-Five: A New Avian Era.”

Migrating Home
For the whole month of April and beyond, we’ll be celebrating the return of our Avian population. Keep your eyes and ears open for special events at The Literary Apothecary, LeTwiggery, The Pluming Room, and more.

Look what’s coming up in March!

February 28, 2019 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

There’s always a lot going on in The Park come Springtime and the action starts in March. Mark these Park events on your calendar so you don’t miss a thing!

March 1: Public information session on Squeaky Yawn Syndrome (SYS) at UWT School of Medicine
This important information session, which is free of charge for all attendees, will run from 10:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. on Friday 1 March 2019 and will be led by Dr. Jagger Zebu of the Department of Mammalian Medicine.

The discussion will focus on Dr. Zebu’s groundbreaking work on Squeaky Yawn Syndrome (SYS) and the results of his most recent study, as well as the connection between harrumphocyte imbalance and SYS, and the increase in incidence of both in hibernators and estivators.

March 1-3: The Park Museum celebrates its fourth birthday
Come and celebrate the fourth anniversary of the opening of The Park Museum!

Stop by for treats or spend the whole day at the museum. There’s plenty to see and do and eat and drink and it’s all free of charge.

Can’t make it during the day? No problem! Reserve your place at one or all of the birthday concerts on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, starting at eight o’clock. Post-concert parties begin at ten o’clock. See you there!

March 1-31: Museum Month
In 2015, the Archons proclaimed March to be Museum Month in The Park. That means that all Park museums and galleries offer free admission throughout the month. Take advantage of this great opportunity to learn about our history and appreciate our rich culture by visiting The Park Museum, The Park Museum of Contemporary Art, The Ewe and Moo Gallery, The Tortoiseshell Gallery, The Kipos Gallery, The Knochen Kunst Gallery, Fusion Ceramics Studio, The Park Museum of Contemporary Art, the art gallery at the University of West Terrier, and the small museum at the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life.

March 24: Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic
The Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic is one of our most beloved seasonal and artistic events. Now in its twenty-fourth year, the Picnic has expanded to include haiku and rap, but the format of the day remains the same. Don’t forget to check the weather forecast so you know how to dress to avoid either frozen nose syndrome or soggy bottom.

March 29: The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff”
Formerly the “Shake for Charity,” this semi-annual event aids those who have no coat. The Shakeoff also offers free grooming and refreshments to participants.
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”

March 30: Tulip season
Yes, it’s that time of year already. Tap your apps to find the latest emerging bulbs. If you need any technical help, our resident experts at The Mammalian Daily will be on hand to aid you in locating your favourite Springtime snack.

Mark your calendars for these important February 2019 Park events

February 1, 2019 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

IF you thought January was a busy month, you’ll have to fasten your seatbelt for February! It’s a busy and emotional time in The Park and this year will be no exception. To make sure you don’t miss anything, keep these dates circled on your calendar:

February 1: Get up! Get ready! It’s almost Groundhog Day!
Catch up on your sleep tonight because you won’t get much until after the weekend, with all the partying you’re going to do! And make sure you look your best, at least at the start of the celebration, by booking some time at any of The Park’s finest grooming houses.

February 2: Groundhog Day
This is it, folks! The day we’ve all been waiting for. First, we’ll hear 2019 POPS (Park Official Prognosticator of Spring) Olan Ulick Whistlepig tell us what the weather has in store for us and then we’ll hear from the new Archons about what our government has in store for us! Festivities start at 7:00 a.m. and go on forever and ever, with the food stations open a full twenty-four hours (8:00 a.m. on February 2 until 8:00 a.m. on February 3). Click on the schedule to the right for a full view.

And don’t forget the Early Risers’ after-party and the after-after parties after that!

February 2-9: Park shops to hold Groundhog Day sales
Whether or not our 2019 POPS, Olan Ulick Whistlepig, predicts an early Spring, there’ll be plenty to celebrate with lower prices at most Park shops. They’ll be open all night on February 1, as well as all day on Groundhog Day, too!

February 14: Anniversary of the birth of Jor
He was our first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy. This year’s full-day holiday will be devoted to his memory and to celebrating our future as a zoocratic Park.

February 19: Official End of Hibernation
Let’s celebrate survival! It’s time to welcome back our hibernating friends. As Hieronymous Hedgehog, The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador, would say, bring on the food! And in case you have any questions, here’s a handy guide to welcoming home those who’ve been in a state of torpor.

February 20: Return of the Nut
This half-day holiday is an occasion both solemn and celebratory, as we renew our trust in each other and our faith in survival, itself. This year, it will be 2019 Keeper of the Nut Árvakur Fíl who will return the nut to The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). After, that, we’ll all be looking to Spring and its renewal!

Have a great February, everybody!

Mark your calendars for these important January 2019 events

January 3, 2019 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

January is one of The Park’s busiest months. To make sure you don’t miss anything, mark these dates on your calendar:

January 1-15: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, For Tomorrow You May Have to Govern
Because we use the sortition method to select our Archons every January, we are all aware that this duty may fall to us. So, in the days leading up to the selection and announcement, spend time with your friends and family, and enjoy yourself. You may not have much time to do so in the coming year.

January 6-10: “Sortition Shakes” Pop-Up Clinic
Learn more about this newly-identified condition that affects a large percentage of The Park’s adult population. The clinic will be staffed by therapists from the University of West Terrier’s School of Medicine and the Extinction Anxiety Clinic, who will spend at least fifteen minutes with each patient. No appointment is necessary. No time for therapy? Just stop by and take Dr. Chloris Cougar’s 10-point test and leave with an explanatory brochure. Either way, a visit here will ease your nerves.

January 7-14: Special Pre-Archon Selection Series of Discussions with Park Authors
In the week leading up to the announcement of the 2019 Archons, proprietor Wyuna Winkle of The Literary Apothecary will host a series of politically-oriented discussions and debates with prominent Park authors. Don’t miss your chance to hear Pieter Paard, Yoshita Tigru, Dr. Berthilidis Strix, Inari Marakatti, and Magnus P. Marmoset, among others.

January 12 : “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Park Government”
Be prepared! If your name comes up, you’ll want to serve honourably and intelligently. Fortunately, historians Pieter Paard, Beatrice Zilonis, and Clark Cascanueces as well as political philosopher Magnus Marmoset have you covered. Their crash course is designed to teach you everything you’ll need to know about zoocracy, sortition, and the duties of Archonship. Open to all and free of charge, but reservations required. Location: University of West Terrier.

January 13: Extinction Anxiety Clinic Open House
For only the second time since its opening in August 2012, The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic will host an Open House. Both locations will welcome Park residents from 10:00-4:00 for some frank talk about Extinction Anxiety, including the newest treatment options. Refreshments will be served.

January 15: New Archons Announced
In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons will be posted at the Law Courts early on the morning of January 15, an hour after the selection is certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.

The list will remain posted at the Courts until the end of the week, so that all citizens and residents may review the names. The list will also be published in the January 15 edition of The Mammalian Daily.

January 16: Archons sworn in (half-day holiday)
For the selected Archons, the swearing-in ceremony will be a first; for Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon, it will be his twenty-first. The ceremony is always meaningful and poignant, and a reminder of our great fortune to live under Animal self-rule.

Until March 31: The Park Museum presents, “The Means and the Message: A Decade of Prognostication Pads”
This multimedia exhibit honours not only those who have been elected Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), but the means they’ve used to make their predictions: the prognostication pad.

The Winterlong exhibit showcases the evolution of the prognostication pad throughout the past decade, putting the pad in historical context, and demonstrating the way in which its use has changed the office and duties of the prognosticator as well as the way in which spectators view the prediction.

January 29: University of West Terrier Annual Open House
The annual open house at The Park’s most renowned research institution attracts hopeful would-be students, alumni, and all those interested in higher education. Come for the tour and the snacks, but stay for the annual speaker. You’ll never be disappointed!

Lead-up to Groundhog Day
One of our most important holidays (if not the most important), The Park’s Groundhog Day celebration will include, of course, the prognostication, the Archons’ address, and the welcoming home of our hibernators. Shadow or no shadow, this year’s GD celebration is sure to be a great one. See you there!

Winter Solstice 2018: The Park ushers in Winter with its biggest bash ever

December 21, 2018 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

The biggest bash in Park history is about to begin.

The 2018 Celebration of the Winter Solstice kicks off at sunrise—7:48 to be exact—and will continue on, officially, until 3:00 in the morning on December 22.

“This will be the biggest bash we’ve ever hosted and it will be memorable,” director of public relations Aintza Kanariar said, as she announced the official schedule as per the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

This year’s festival will celebrate life in The Park in all its seasons, but particularly in Winter, despite the weather wreaking havoc on certain plans.

“We’d hoped to surprise attendees by opening the Otter Ice Slide ahead of schedule, but the weather is simply too warm for that,” Kanariar said. Instead, they’ll be setting up the mud slide temporarily.

“We all enjoy the mud slide, but this is the first time it’s been used in the Winter,” Kanariar laughed. The slide will remain open until colder weather makes the ice slide feasible.

This year’s event will once again include an original dance choreographed for the occasion by Herman Stoat, which will be performed by his eponymous dance company. Entitled, “Four in Twenty-Eighteen,” Stoat told Mammalian Daily Radio that in celebrating each of the four seasons, the dance not only honours nature, but memorializes the climate that we’ve lost.

“But it’s not meant to be sad; it’s hopeful in that it’s a call to appreciation and awareness,” he said.

New to the schedule this year is an off-site celebration at The Park Museum, which includes a sunrise ceremony of welcome performed by the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company and an interactive event for children, “Archon For a Day.”

Also new this year, the Human imitators will be replaced by a marathon spoken word performance by Mumblebee.

Other highlights of the celebration include:

Jugglers, clowns, and others will entertain throughout the day and night
Students from the Hani Gajah School of Art will be providing free tail-painting and whisker-twisting for young participants
Costume dress-up events will be hosted hourly by the Park Historical Society
Storytelling
Harmonious Hannah and Humphrey will be on hand for selfies throughout the festivities

The list of Park music makers who will perform appears below in order of appearance. Kanariar would not confirm rumours that Rodent Commoner reporter Gunnar Rotte will join the All Rodent Marching Band in a celebration of the involvement of The Park’s Rodent community in zoocracy.

The Feral Four
The Canary Cousins
Spontaneous Generation
Les Chiens Débraillés
SCENTient Beings
Jargonhead
Persistent Sisters
Bone Weary
The Cynics
Will.o.be
Memes of Production
Mumblebee
Last Stand
Eggie and The Pigs
ZEAL
Inktvis and Krake
The All-Rodent Marching Band
The DomEstyx
The Beasts of Burden
BHR (Big Hearts Rule) formerly NIML (Not In My Lifetime)
Fish Rap

As ever, a major component of the celebration will be the food. This year, celebrity chef Tab Tricolore will prepare another wonderful “feral buffet,” as well as supplying non-perishables from his restaurant grassRoutes. He’ll also host guests at his Park Museum restaurant, The PurrBoy Café. Other food purveyors include The Battering Ram Café, The Compost Heap, The Broop ‘n Miaow, The Draft, The Pound Gastropub, and The Cackling Goose Tavern. Mikko Tikkeri’s The Feeding Station will be once again be serving a full breakfast just after the solstice occurs as well as a buffet at midnight. Ants in Your Pantry and Provisions by Petrounel will send all celebrants home with tasty party favours.

The Celebration of the Winter Solstice begins at 7:48 a.m. (sunrise) on December 21. Food will be served throughout the event. The Solstice will occur at 11:48 a.m. Local Park Time (LPT).

June will be bustin’ out all over!

June 2, 2018 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

1-30 June – Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM)
Now in its sixth year, Enforced Domestication Awareness Month kicks off June 1. The full schedule will be released then and will include many new events, including Noreen’s “Just Say No To Obedience” campaign and the two-day forum, “Focus on Large Animal Domestication,” at the University of West Terrier. Watch this space and follow us on Twitter for EDAM-related news throughout June.

1 June – University of West Terrier Commencement Day
The day has finally come for the 2018 graduating class at the University of West Terrier. In addition to receiving their degrees, the class will have the chance to hear former Chief Archon Dewi Rhinoceros give the commencement day address. It’s an exciting time for all involved and we wish a lifetime of happiness and success to all graduates.

1 June – Kynikos Press releases “Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, and Goodnight,” by Thisbe and the Barkettes
This long-awaited memoir by Thisbe and the Barkettes is sure to set tongues wagging. The most successful musical group The Park has ever known spills the beans on everything they’ve seen, heard,
and experienced over their long career. Sure to be a bestseller and a must-read for all fans of the Barkettes.

1 June – The Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) To correspond with Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM), the PMoCA unveils its 2018 art installation, “A Picture Hides a Thousand Words,” on June 1. In announcing the installation, head curator Aamuun Maroodiga said, “This interactive installation will highlight the power of the ‘selfie,’ by pairing mirrors with cameras to remind us of the importance not only of the picture we domesticated Animals take of ourselves, but of the picture we and others ultimately see.”

3 June – Thisbe and the Barkettes: Reading and Meet and Greet
Proprietor Wyuna Winkle welcomes The Park’s most successful musical group to her bookshop to read from their new memoir and greet their loyal fans.
Reading: 12:00-12:45
Meet and greet: 1:00-3:30
Pawprinting and refreshments: 3:30-5:00

15 June – Chitter Radio Literary Awards
Considered the most prestigious literary awards in The Park, the Chitter Radio Literary Awards has recognized Park writers ranging from former Archon Nicholas Gander to comedian Woodruff Dalmatio to Mammalian Daily advice columnist, Noreen. The year, the CRLA has once again expanded its entry categories to include spoken word.

“We need to continue to broaden our horizons and reward those artists whose work may not fit easily into previously-established categories,” says CRLA director Guadalupe Tucán.

16-18 – June Feline Fiction Fest
The oldest fiction festival in The Park, the Feline Fiction Fest honours the creative output of our Feline residents in a range of categories that rivals all other fiction festivals. This year, the Fest will highlight the work of Big Cats at its newly-built Mane Stage. Stay tuned for other special events, as they are announced.

28 June – Last Day for Pre-Estivation Deposits
30 June – Central Bank of The Park closed for mid-year tally
Don’t forget: the last day to make pre-estivation deposits at any financial institution in The Park is 28 June.

29 June – Official Start of Estivation
This is the day we say “au revoir” to The Park’s estivating community. We’ll miss you terribly, but we look forward to seeing you again, in September.

Spring is bustin’ out all over!

March 1, 2018 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

There’s always a lot going on in The Park come Springtime. Mark these annual Park events on your calendar so you don’t miss a thing!

March 13: Closing date for the Otter Ice Slide
Yes, we’re all looking forward to Spring, but some of us just can’t shake that Winter feeling. If that describes you, get over to the Otter Ice Slide while the weather still permits. There’s no feeling like it, but that feeling won’t last past March 13.

March 25: Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic
The Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic is one of our most beloved seasonal and artistic events. Now in its twenty-third year, the Picnic has expanded to include haiku and rap, but the format of the day remains the same. And don’t forget to check the weather forecast so you know how to dress to avoid either frozen nose syndrome or soggy bottom.

March 29: The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff”
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”
Formerly the “Shake for Charity,” this semi-annual event aids those who have no coat. The Shakeoff also offers free grooming and refreshments to participants.

April 8-10: The Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual “Broopee Days”
Are you a Broopee? We’re all Broopees during the Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual Broopee Days! So invite your friends—of all species—and share the super-specials! And don’t forget the instant win contests!

April 15: Footpad Heaven Clearance Sale
Don’t be a slave to style! Even though it may be last year’s stock, FH’s Toepads, Footpads and other clearance accoutrement are brand new. Indulge yourself at half the price!

2018 POPS Sauville Marmotte predicts an early Spring!

February 2, 2018 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

2018 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) Sauville Marmotte has predicted an early Spring for The Park. The prediction came at 8:04 this morning.

The POPS, who is in excellent physical condition, was escorted from her burrow and ascended the prognostication pad with ease. More details of the day can be found at Mammalian Daily Groundhog Day Coverage.

Mark your calendars for these important February 2018 Park events

February 1, 2018 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

February is a busy and emotional time in The Park and this year will be no exception. To make sure you don’t miss anything, keep these dates circled on your calendar:

February 1: Get up! Get ready! It’s almost Groundhog Day!
Catch up on your sleep tonight because you won’t get much until the weekend, with all the partying you’re going to do! And make sure you look your best, at least at the start of the celebration, by booking some time at any of The Park’s finest grooming houses.

February 2: Groundhog Day
This is it, folks! The day we’ve all been waiting for. First, we’ll hear 2018 POPS (Park Official Prognosticator of Spring) Sauville Otave Marmotte tell us what the weather has in store for us and then we’ll hear from the new Archons about what our government has in store for us! Festivities start at 7:00 a.m. and go on forever and ever, with the food stations open a full twenty-four hours (8:00 a.m. on February 2 until 8:00 a.m. on February 3). Click on the schedule to the right for a full view.

And don’t forget the Early Risers’ after-party and the after-after parties after that!

February 2-9: Park shops to hold Groundhog Day sales
Whether or not our 2018 POPS, Sauville Otave Marmotte, predicts an early Spring, there’ll be plenty to celebrate with lower prices at most Park shops. They’ll be open all night on February 1, as well as all day on Groundhog Day, too!

February 4: Spend an afternoon at The Park Museum with Karlheinz Beaver
The designer of the 2018 prognostication pad will formally add his blueprints to the museum’s current exhibition, “The Means and the Message: A Decade of Prognostication Pads.” Afterwards, he’ll host a Q&A session with attendees regarding the pad’s design and functionality. Refreshments will be served courtesy of The PurrBoy Café.

Don’t miss this event at The Park Museum on Sunday, 4 February 2018, from 1:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m.

February 20: Return of the Nut
This half-day holiday is an occasion both solemn and celebratory, as we renew our trust in each other and our faith in survival, itself. This year, it will be 2018 Keeper of the Nut Armas Jänis who will return the nut to The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). After, that, we’ll all be looking to Spring and its renewal!

Have a great February, everybody!

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What’s up in May is bound to be merry!

Look what’s coming up in April

Look what’s coming up in March!

Mark your calendars for these important February 2019 Park events

Mark your calendars for these important January 2019 events

Winter Solstice 2018: The Park ushers in Winter with its biggest bash ever

June will be bustin’ out all over!

Spring is bustin’ out all over!

2018 POPS Sauville Marmotte predicts an early Spring!

Mark your calendars for these important February 2018 Park events

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