The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

June will be bustin’ out all over!

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1-30 June – Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM)
Now in its sixth year, Enforced Domestication Awareness Month kicks off June 1. The full schedule will be released then and will include many new events, including Noreen’s “Just Say No To Obedience” campaign and the two-day forum, “Focus on Large Animal Domestication,” at the University of West Terrier. Watch this space and follow us on Twitter for EDAM-related news throughout June.


1 June – University of West Terrier Commencement Day
The day has finally come for the 2018 graduating class at the University of West Terrier. In addition to receiving their degrees, the class will have the chance to hear former Chief Archon Dewi Rhinoceros give the commencement day address. It’s an exciting time for all involved and we wish a lifetime of happiness and success to all graduates.

1 June – Kynikos Press releases “Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, and Goodnight,” by Thisbe and the Barkettes
This long-awaited memoir by Thisbe and the Barkettes is sure to set tongues wagging. The most successful musical group The Park has ever known spills the beans on everything they’ve seen, heard,
and experienced over their long career. Sure to be a bestseller and a must-read for all fans of the Barkettes.

 

 

1 June – The Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) To correspond with Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM), the PMoCA unveils its 2018 art installation, “A Picture Hides a Thousand Words,” on June 1. In announcing the installation, head curator Aamuun Maroodiga said, “This interactive installation will highlight the power of the ‘selfie,’ by pairing mirrors with cameras to remind us of the importance not only of the picture we domesticated Animals take of ourselves, but of the picture we and others ultimately see.”

3 June – Thisbe and the Barkettes: Reading and Meet and Greet
Proprietor Wyuna Winkle welcomes The Park’s most successful musical group to her bookshop to read from their new memoir and greet their loyal fans.
Reading: 12:00-12:45
Meet and greet: 1:00-3:30
Pawprinting and refreshments: 3:30-5:00

15 June – Chitter Radio Literary Awards
Considered the most prestigious literary awards in The Park, the Chitter Radio Literary Awards has recognized Park writers ranging from former Archon Nicholas Gander to comedian Woodruff Dalmatio to Mammalian Daily advice columnist, Noreen. The year, the CRLA has once again expanded its entry categories to include spoken word.

“We need to continue to broaden our horizons and reward those artists whose work may not fit easily into previously-established categories,” says CRLA director Guadalupe Tucán.

16-18 – June Feline Fiction Fest
The oldest fiction festival in The Park, the Feline Fiction Fest honours the creative output of our Feline residents in a range of categories that rivals all other fiction festivals. This year, the Fest will highlight the work of Big Cats at its newly-built Mane Stage. Stay tuned for other special events, as they are announced.

 

 

 

28 June – Last Day for Pre-Estivation Deposits
30 June – Central Bank of The Park closed for mid-year tally
Don’t forget: the last day to make pre-estivation deposits at any financial institution in The Park is 28 June.

 

 

29 June – Official Start of Estivation
This is the day we say “au revoir” to The Park’s estivating community. We’ll miss you terribly, but we look forward to seeing you again, in September.

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Hibernation and estivation benefit the economy in many ways: PASS

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Wednesday Rewind
Original publication date: 4 September 2014

Hibernation and estivation are good for The Park’s economy, according to a report released today by the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).[pullquote]There seems to be less tolerance these days for the differences among us.” – Wellington Whistlepig, PASS President[/pullquote]

PASS released the report less than two weeks before our estivating population is scheduled to return to full participation in Park life.

“The timing is not insignificant,” said Wellington Whistlepig, president of the Association.

“They’re a beleaguered bunch [estivators] and we thought we could use the findings in this report to offer them a proper welcome back to life.”

Whistlepig, who is himself a hibernator, said the last few years have been difficult for Park Animals who hibernate or estivate.

“We and our way of life have been under siege for a number of years, ever since the economic downturn, in fact,” he says. “There seems to be less tolerance these days for the differences among us.”

That was the one of the main reasons that PASS decided to commission a report on the subject.

“Some of our numbers were used in another report that was released in the Spring. It showed some gains in the fourth quarter of 2013 which were attributed to the delay in the official hibernation date and that led to the conclusion that hibernation was a drag on the economy.

As Association president, I felt that our numbers had been misconstrued, so I asked for a full accounting from our members. They were very enthusiastic in their agreement to participate,” he says.

Whistlepig says the new report, which analyzes figures from 2008-2013, demonstrates definitively that hibernation benefits The Park’s economy.

“First of all, it creates jobs on a regular basis. Every job a hibernator or estimator holds has two Animals performing it,” Whistlepig says.

“Now, to those who consider that a drag on the economy, we say ‘think again.’ That’s two Animals who have currency to spend in our shops and for our services. And one of those two Animals needs to prepare for say, hibernation, before and after. Those are purchases that wouldn’t be made, otherwise. There are shops that cater to hibernators and estivators and they wouldn’t exist without those customers,” he contends.

Whistlepig says our hibernating and estivating citizens should be seen for what they are: a stimulating presence, both economically and culturally.

“We hope this report puts this foolishness to rest,” he says.

The Association’s full report will be made available to the public next week.

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PMoCA unveils Slow Art Movement painting in honour of Park’s estivators

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Heike Slak

Slow artist Heike Slak’s “Beacon”

Tomorrow marks the official end of estivation. It’s time to welcome back the friends we haven’t seen for over two months and to move into The Park’s busy Autumn social season.

But even though a large number of Park Animals will be coming out of a state of torpor tomorrow, estivation traditionally has not received as much attention as its Winter counterpart, hibernation.

All that is set to change in the coming years and the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) is leading the way.

Tomorrow evening, in honour of our estivating citizens, the PMoCA will unveil a painting by slow artist Heike Slak.

The painting, which bears the title, “Beacon,” was commissioned last year by the museum.

“This is the first work by a slow artist that we have displayed. We are very proud to hang this painting in the PMoCA in honour of our estivators. and we look forward to a long and happy relationship with the Slow Art Movement,” the museum’s head curator Aamuun Maroodiga told the press this morning.

Slak, who will come out of estivation tomorrow, delivered the painting to the museum at the end of May.  Maroodiga confirmed at the press gathering that Slak will attend the unveiling tomorrow evening.

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Central Bank issues annual reminder to Park’s estivators

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Central Bank of The Park

Pre-estivation deposits must be made by June 28

The Central Bank of The Park issued its annual reminder today, telling all Park residents who intend to estivate this Summer that they should make the final deposits to their accounts by June 28.

According to a Central Bank spokesAnimal, many Park banks have reported that deposits are down from this time last year. Animals may be waiting until the last minute to make their pre-estivation deposits in the hope that interest rates will rise, he says. But that is unlikely to happen.

“The Park Finance Office has been keeping an eye on pre-dormancy and dormancy interest rates for the past year and banks now appear to be towing the line,” he said.

Still, the Central Bank advises estivators to be vigilant and not believe advertisements for artificially high interest rates. If it looks to good to be true, the Bank says, it probably is.

Uzoma Serval, author of BankWoe, agrees.

“There is a painful downside to these extremely high rates,” Serval says. “When the dormancy period ends for these Animals, they find they are not at liberty to withdraw their funds as they wish. They discover they’ve signed away that right, without even knowing it. And their interest rate quickly plummets ten percent or more.”

Estivation officially begins on Wednesday, June 29. The Central Bank of The Park will be closed on Thursday, June 30 for its mid-year tally.

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