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OTD in 2017—2017 POPS in stable condition as Park awaits hospital press conference

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Hermione HippoAs Ditmar Bosmarmot, 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), remains in stable condition after being diagnosed with Premature Awakening from hibernation (PA), a press conference has been called for this afternoon at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm.

Hospital spokesAnimal Aurélie Brebis confirmed the press conference in a short communiqué this morning:

“The hospital’s head nurse, Hermione Hippo, will deliver a statement on the condition of Ditmar Bosmarmot and afterwards will take questions from the press this afternoon at three o’clock in the main conference room of the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm.”

Bismarmot, who was elected POPS in November, was roused from his burrow at approximately seven o’clock on Groundhog Day morning. He appeared groggy and after losing his footing along the way, he was helped to the prognostication pad by two aides. While there were concerns that he would not be able to fulfill his duties, he was able to stand on the prognostication pad unaided for a sufficient length of time to make the prognostication. According to a spokesAnimal for Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon, who certified the prediction, the judge had “no hesitation whatsoever in doing so” and certified the prediction “with complete certainty as to its validity.”

Immediately thereafter, Bosmarmot was taken off the pad by members of the Emergency Elephant Brigade (EEB), who helped him onto a stretcher and delivered him to the Park Hospital.

A diagnosis of Premature Awakening from hibernation was made at the scene and confirmed later that day. Until this morning, however, doctors had made no comment on Bosmarmot’s condition other than to say it was “stable.”

The Mammalian Daily will keep its readers apprised of the condition of the POPS via Twitter and Facebook.

OTD in 2017—Design of 2017 prognostication pad sparks criticism, spawns new memes

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2017-prognostication-PAD

The design of the 2017 prognostication pad hasn’t just sparked intense criticism from attendees and design experts; it’s also spawned several new Park memes.

The confusing design, coupled with the grave illness suffered by 2017 POPS Ditmar Bismarmot, has spawned  a set of memes that appear to blame the pad and its designer, the architectural firm Fleck + Stone, for Bosmarmot’s illness.

The Park Official Prognosticator of Spring was found to be suffering from Premature Awakening (PA) from hibernation and was rushed to hospital just minutes after predicting an early Spring on Groundhog Day.

Despite these indisputable medical facts, the memes have taken off in a variety of forms, including one that shows an image of Bosmarmot sprawled across the top of the pad with the the warning: “Don’t get stoned by Fleck.” Another with a similar image says, “Ditmarred Again.” Yet another portrays the firm’s chef architect, Vadim Kobras, climbing up the pad, leaving a number of dead Groundhogs behind him on the steps.

For their part, the Archons have been swift to react to the memes, preferring to deal with them in a factual way. This morning, Balthasar Alouatta, spokesAnimal for the Archons, read a prepared statement from Chief Archon Klarissa Kuttu in which she wished Bosmarmot a speedy recovery. The statement went on to use the memes to address the issue of Premature Awakening and to direct Park Animals to information on the subject.

Thus far, neither the firm of Fleck + Stone nor its chief architect has publicly reacted to the criticism of the prognostication pad.

OTD in 2016—Focus On: Archons’ Address

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Annual Archons' Address

Why is the Archons’ address so important?

The observation of Groundhog Day has its roots deep in the Animal tradition of weather prognostication. The Park’s elaborate, all-day celebration of this important day attracts record crowds annually.

But modern Park life has endowed the day with a political significance, as well. Park citizens, eager to discover what the new year has in store for them, await the annual Archons’ address, the first speech given by the 35 newly-selected Archons.

Let’s focus on the Archons’ address.

THE ARCHONS: WHO ARE THEY?
Each cohort of thirty-five Archons constitutes The Park’s government for a period of one year. The individual Archons hail from every species of citizen in The Park and they are chosen each year through the process known as sortition (lottery).

While their names are announced on January 15, they make their first appearance before The Park’s citizenry on January 16, the day on which they are sworn in. After the ceremony, the Archons go into seclusion and are neither seen nor heard from until Groundhog Day on February 2.

HOW DO THEY DECIDE WHAT TO SAY IN THEIR ADDRESS?
During those sixteen days, the Archons have a chance to get to know each other and to discover each other’s attitudes and opinions regarding the direction in which The Park should move. Economic, social, and health-related issues are the subject of robust discussion and it is through this process of discussion and debate that the Archons develop their agenda for the year.

Ideally, this agenda (which literally means “things to be done”) should address Park citizens’ most pressing needs and concerns. When the governing collective has made its final decision on the important issues that it will address during its tenure, it is ready to draft the Groundhog Day speech.

WHY THE SPEECH IS IMPORTANT TO PARK CITIZENS
Park citizens know virtually nothing about the members of their new government, even as they watch them being sworn in. While many may be acquainted with them personally, it is not likely they know with any certainty where these Animals stand on the important issues that face The Park.

As the Chief Archon reads the speech, she or he reveals the concerns and beliefs of the governing collective and lays the groundwork for the changes that it will attempt to make over the coming year.

That is why the Archons’ address, given on Groundhog Day, is so important to Park citizens.

WHAT PARK ANIMALS ARE LISTENING FOR
The Archons’ address does more than simply list a number of items that are of concern to the Archons or that they hope to act on during their tenure. The speech sets the tone for the new administration and for the relationship it will have with Park citizens.

What Park Animals are listening for are indications that the Archons are not only in tune with their concerns but that they will be open to input from the citizenry. Most who reside in The Park would agree that this is what makes good government.

OTD in 2017—Mark your calendars for these important February events in The Park

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mark-thisFebruary is a busy and emotional time in The Park and this year it will be especially so, as we continue our year-long celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy. To make sure you don’t miss anything, keep these dates circled on your calendar:

waking-groundhogFebruary 1: Get ready! It’s almost Groundhog Day!
Catch up on your sleep tonight because you won’t get much until the weekend, with all the partying you’re going to do! And make sure you look your best, at least at the start of the celebration, by booking some time at any of The Park’s finest grooming houses.

groundhogdayscheduleFebruary 2: Groundhog Day
This is it, folks! The day we’ve all been waiting for. First, we’ll hear the POPS (Park Official Prognosticator of Spring) tell us what the weather has in store for us and then we’ll hear from the new Archons about what our government has in store for us! Festivities start at 7:00 a.m. and go on forever and ever, with the food stations open a full twenty-four hours (8:00 a.m. on February 2 until 8:00 a.m. on February 3).

And don’t forget the Early Risers’ after-party and the after-after parties after that!

groundhog-day-blowoutFebruary 2-9: Park shops to hold Groundhog Day sales
Whether or not 2017 POPS Ditmar Bosmarmot sees his shadow, there’ll be plenty to celebrate with lower prices at most Park shops. They’ll be open all night on February 1, as well as all day on Groundhog Day, too!

3d-cover-fierce-urgency-of-miaowFebruary 8: Book release
As we reported late last year, 2017 will be the year of the political book and two of the most important ones will be released this month. The first will be The Fierce Urgency of Miaow, historian Pieter N. Paard’s much-anticipated analysis of Jor and the Feline roots of Animal self-rule. Look for it in Park bookstores after February 8.

3d-tabby-king-croppedFebruary 10: Yannis Tavros interviews Jor’s biographer Yoshita Tigru
Hailed as a media coup, Yannis Tavros’s guest on his February 10 Toro Talk Radio show will be Yoshita Tigru, author of a new and controversial biography of The Park’s first leader. She’ll be discussing some unknown facts about Jor just four days before we celebrate the anniversary of his birth.

February 14: Anniversary of the birth of JorJOR
He was our first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy. This year’s full-day holiday will be devoted to his memory and to celebrating our future as a zoocratic Park.

Hieronymous Hedgehog February 19: Official End of Hibernation
Let’s celebrate survival! It’s time to welcome back our hibernating friends. As Hieronymous Hedgehog, The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador, would say, bring on the food! And in case you have any questions, here’s a handy guide to welcoming home those who’ve been in a state of torpor.

Keeper of the NutFebruary 20: Return of the Nut
This half-day holiday is an occasion both solemn and celebratory, as we renew our trust in each other and our faith in survival, itself. This year, it will be 2017 Keeper of the Nut Sunniva Muldvarp who will return the nut to The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). After, that, we’ll all be looking to Spring and its renewal!

Have a great February, everybody!

OTD in 2016—Trees of hearts to remain intact until Winter Solstice celebration

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Tree of heartsThe Trees of Hearts, which for the past two years have lined the route Park hibernators take to their burrows, will remain intact until December’s Celebration of the Winter Solstice, it was announced yesterday.

The announcement, which came from the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, was received enthusiastically by The Park’s non-hibernating citizens, especially those involved in The Maple Tree Project, whose members arrange for the signing and hanging of the hearts on the trees.

“I applaud the department’s gesture,” Dewi Rhinoceros said on TMD Radio this morning. The former Chief Archon is Chair of the Board of Directors of the Centre for Interspecial Harmony, which oversees the Maple Tree Project.

“This will help all of us keep our hibernating friends in our minds and hearts throughout the Winter season,” she said.

OTD in 2016—”We must all come together now,” says newly-elected POPS Ditmar Bosmarmot

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Ditmar Bosmarmot

Ditmar Bosmarmot, 2017 POPS

The POPS election is over for this year and we must all come together now, Ditmar Bosmarmot told a massive crowd last night just minutes after he was declared the 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

“This has been a very difficult and contentious election. A lot of things have been said that can’t be taken back, so we must remember them and use them to make The Park a better and a more unified place,” he said.

As he and the six previous holders of the position encircled one of the farewell Trees of Hearts, Bosmarmot remarked that when he emerged again in February, zoocracy in The Park would be celebrating its thirty-fifth birthday.

“This will be a historic year for all of us,” he told the cheering crowd. “We should all be proud of ourselves for sustaining Animal self-rule against all odds. I look forward to continuing this journey with you after Groundhog Day.”

OTD in 2016—Election Office scrambles to meet today’s deadline to declare a winner

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ballot-boxThe Park Election Office (PEO) is scrambling to count all the votes cast in the November 7 election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) by midnight tonight in order to announce a winner before the hibernating community takes its leave for the Winter.

In an early morning interview on TMD Radio,  PEO head Gerritt Wezel said he and his team would “do anything” to avoid the situation that occurred three years ago, when the vote counting took so long that hibernation had to be postponed for weeks.

“That took its toll on the whole Park, emotionally, as well as physically,” he said.

Wezel also confirmed that he’d asked the members of the Maple Tree Project, who organize the Tree of Hearts sendoff for hibernators, to postpone the hanging of the hearts until late in the afternoon. According to Wezel, former Chief Archon Dewi Rhinoceros, who initiated the project, agreed to hold off until about five o’clock.

The election results will be broadcast across all Park media as soon as they are known.

OTD in 2016—”We don’t count votes by species,” Park Election Office head tells media

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vote-by-speciesMembers of the media drew ire this morning from Park Election Office head Gerritt Wezel when they pressed him on the subject of Groundhog participation in Monday’s election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

The media inquiries were made at a short press conference which Wezel had called to issue an update on the counting of votes and the estimated time of announcing the election winner.

But when the conference was opened up to questions, it became obvious that most media representatives were more interested in whether The Park’s Groundhog population had exercised its franchise in this unusual election.

After a few failed attempts to move past the question, a visibly annoyed Wezel issued a terse response: “We don’t count votes by species.”

The answer, though, seemed not to satisfy the media, who then pressed Wezel on the reason for the three polls the PEO conducted before the election, two of which indicated that The Park’s Groundhog population had become disenchanted with the present system.

Wezel did not directly answer that question, but he did confirm that the Archons and the PEO were looking at that polling information “very carefully.”

“All I can tell you right now is that there are going to be changes made to the POPS elections,” he said. “We are rapidly outgrowing this system and we need to take action as soon as possible.”

OTD in 2016—Doves called back to assist Does of Peace in monitoring polling stations

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vote-hereThe Doves of Peace were called back from migration last week to assist their sister-agency, the Does of Peace, in monitoring polling stations during today’s election.

According to Cornelius Kakapo, director of public relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), the unprecedented decision was made “to ensure the integrity of the election.”

The Doves and Does, who are fully autonomous sub-groups of Park Police, attend Park celebrations and days of significance, but this is the first time in Park history that they have been called to monitor an election.

Speaking last night from a pit stop a few kilometres from The Park, Doves of Peace spokesBird Georgina Golub said the decision to call her group back to The Park was appropriate, “if not prescient.”

“Yesterday’s violence at the All Candidates’ mega rally was a good sign that we should come home and keep the peace during this historic election,” she said.

The violence that Golub referred to at yesterday’s rally started with one attendee deliberately tripping Ekeoma L. Girraaf, who had just finished speaking in support of candidate Yannis Tavros. Tavros’s supporters, including his campaign manager Raimundo Zorro, ganged up on the attendee and held him until Park Police forced them to release him. At that point, supporters of the beaten attendee cornered Zorro and tried to block police access to him. Zorro, who was convicted last year of hate-mongering and engaging in specist activities, was eventually removed from the rally, but not before at least fifty Animals were arrested and many more were taken to hospital.

Golub said that after re-grouping, the Doves would be ready for work at noon today.

“We’re looking forward to monitoring a peaceful and enjoyable election process,” she said.

OTD in 2016—Significant number of Groundhogs say they won’t vote on November 7

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ballot-boxA significant number of The Park’s Groundhogs say they won’t be voting for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) on November 7.

In a new poll conducted by the Park Election Office on Thursday, twenty-seven percent of Animals who identify themselves as Groundhogs, Whistlepigs, or Marmots said they would not be casting a ballot this year for POPS. The vast majority of those, however, said they would be voting for Keeper of the Nut four days later.

This is the second poll on the subject the PEO has conducted in the last week. The top reasons given this time for sitting out the POPS election were disenchantment with the candidates and the feeling that the election had lost its real meaning and had been “co-opted” by celebrities such as Millicent Hayberry and Yannis Tavros.

In a related poll, sixty-eight percent of respondents said they believed the POPS should be a hibernator.

What do Mammalian Daily readers think? Answer our poll below and we’ll tell you the results when the election is over.

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