Mammalian Daily exclusive: an interview with Chief Archon
BREAKING NEWS
The Mammalian Daily has snagged an exclusive interview with 2014 Chief Archon Buckminster Addison Carlisle Harris Moose.
At a press conference held late this afternoon, managing editor Orphea Haas said she was “at once honoured and delighted” that the new Chief Archon agreed to sit down with the newspaper’s senior political reporter for a “one-on-one chat.”
“I believe this speaks both to the openness of our new government and to the authority of this newspaper,” she said.
The interview, which will be conducted over a two-day period in the week following Groundhog Day, will appear in the newspaper the second week of February.
Tavros to host third annual “Pundits’ Parlour” on Monday
For the third year in a row, Yannis Tavros will host Toro Talk Radio’s “Pundits’ Parlour” on Monday, February 3.
Manfred Stier, spokesAnimal for the radio station’s programming director, confirmed today that The Park’s best known political pundits will again have the chance to express their views on our incoming government on Tavros’s popular show.
“Yannis [Tavros] will once again relinquish his usual talk show format to moderate what has become a very popular annual forum,” Stier said.
This year’s guests include Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy at the University of West Terrier, historian and author Pieter Paard, Professor Ludwiga Saimiri of the Cuthbert School of Journalism, UWT Law Professor Fionnula L. Fox, Park Historical Society President Clark Cascanueces, UWT Professor of History Beatrice Zilonis, and Gertrude C. Owl, Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent and Dean of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Other participants include Ronald Grouse, chief political analyst at The Avian Messenger, Yuri Sturgeon of The Kaluga Register, Camlin “Cayuga” Newt of The Salamander Evening Post, and Noreen, Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct Professor of Human Studies.
UWT defends new course in Human studies
Members of the Department of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier are scrambling to defend a new course offering that has garnered a lot of social media attention in the past few days.
The course, “Living in the Human World,” was developed by Mammalian Daily advice columnist Noreen, who is also an adjunct professor in the department. The course was intended, she says, to enlighten Park Animals on the day-to-day aspects of life in the Human world.
But many believe the object of the course is to teach Animals how to live with Humans.
“What they’re doing, in a covert way, is trying to groom us for lives as pets outside The Park,” said one popular post on GooseBook.
The University strongly denies that.
“We were honoured to have Noreen join our faculty and we wanted to make use of her expertise. After all these years of observing the Human world, it would be a waste of her talents not to allow her to share her knowledge,” said Bibiano Montanaro, spokesAnimal for the UWT president.
Many on The Park’s social media sites, however, are suspicious of that explanation.
“Maybe if paired with a history course or something like that, then maybe,” said one post. Yet another summed up the feelings of many Park Animals:
“If it offers a critical view of Human society, then okay. Otherwise, it’s hard to see it as anything but recruitment of us as pets.”
2014 Groundhog Day Celebrations spark controversy
We may be ten days away from the POPS prediction and related celebrations, but this year’s Groundhog Day program is already proving to be controversial.
The decision made by the 2013 Archons to substitute a “musical interlude” for the Park Historical Society’s Tribute to Zoocracy has sparked some heated discussion, particularly on talk radio stations.
Yesterday morning, Park Historical Society President Clark Cascanueces admitted he was “blindsided” by the exclusion of his organization’s short film on zoocracy. He and University of West Terrier history professor Beatrice Zilonis were guests of talk show host Yannis Tavros on Toro Talk Radio.
“I was gobsmacked, truly,” Zilonis said. They went on to characterize the 2013 Archons as “the most ignorant, anti-education group of Animals” they had ever seen.
While Cascanueces and Zilonis are not alone in their opinions, many in The Park support the Archons’ decision. Citing Hieronymous Hedgehog’s criticism of the film last year as “a touch Human,” Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct professor of Human Studies reiterated her opinion of the tribute on a Canine Communications Radio (CCR) call-in show.
“There is something almost Human about our celebrating ourselves,” she said.
“It’s not the Animal way. I think we’ve imbibed this sort of ‘Rah Rah’ attitude from the Humans around us and I’m not sure it’s such a good idea. In any case, I don’t think it’s quite appropriate for Groundhog Day and I’m behind the Archons on this. I think their decision to remove it from the program was a sound one,” she said.
Names of 2014 Archons announced this morning
The names of the 35 Animals who will form The Park’s 2014 government have been released.
In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons was posted at the Law Courts early this morning, an hour after the selection was certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.
The list will remain posted at the Law Courts until the end of the week so that Park citizens and residents may review the names, Archon Transition Team spokesAnimal N.V. Hoatzin told The Mammalian Daily.
Readers of this newspaper need look no further than the bottom of this article, however. The Mammalian Daily is the only Park newspaper given permission to publish the list of names.
The 35 Animals, who were selected to be Archons through the process of sortition, will be sworn in at a ceremony that will take place tomorrow morning at 10:00. Tens of thousands of Park citizens are expected to attend the swearing-in ceremony, which will be held at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre. As well, many thousands more will be able to watch the event on television. The Park Broadcasting Corporation (PBC), which holds exclusive rights to the swearing-in ceremony, will once again dedicate its entire morning programming schedule to the event.
______________________________
ARCHONS – 2014
Moose, Buckminster Addison Carlisle Harris (Chief Archon)
Angelshark, Horst; Anchovy, Leopold Anton; Black Toad, Duncan; Bluegill, Morley Hammond; Caecilian Ethan William; Chickadee, Norma Dakota; Colugo, Channary Am; Crapaud, Jean François; Dab, Halldora; Elephant, Anastasia Ludmila Margarita; Gavial, Ophelia; Gombessa, Sanjay; Groda, Edvin Theodor; Hornet, Xenophon; Hydra, Zephron; Isopod, Agamemnon; Junco; Elpidio Domingo; Kangaroo, Donald Liam; Locust, Abigail Chantal; Lory, Alfred Tobago; Matamata, Evelyn Isabel; Newfoundlander, Xanthippe; Nursehound, Amalfried; Panda, Astra Liliana; Pig Frog, Nelson; Rana de Cuernos, Arturo; Salamander, Leonidas; Shrew, Socrates Yorgos; Squid, Enzo Louis Raphaël; Sterlet, Florian; Swan, Ingrid Mathilde; Tuatara, Atarata; Weta, Rhinehart; Wren, Lucas Brayden
Arctic temperatures may add stress to job of POPS: expert
The Arctic-like temperatures that have overtaken The Park over the past few weeks may end up adding stress to the job of our 2014 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), says at least one expert in the field.
Speaking with talk show host Yannis Tavros on Toro Talk Radio, Park psychotherapist Dr. Gudrun L. Gibbon said she believed that come Groundhog Day, 2014 POPS Solange Graciela Marmotte will be under a lot of pressure to predict an early Spring.
“She will want to be the bearer of good news but if, indeed, she does see her shadow, she must tell us so. That will be a very difficult thing for her to do and I have no doubt she will find that conflict extremely stressful,” Gibbon said.
Gibbon, who is in private practice but is also on staff at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic, said she believes that even though Marmotte is in hibernation, she is aware of the difficult Winter we are having.
“I think, subconsciously, she may even be struggling with a form of ‘hibernators’ guilt’ and be feeling a high degree of tension due to the sympathy she is feeling for her non-hibernating compatriots. I think our POPS is in a very difficult position this year,” Gibbon said.
And here it is…The most popular article of 2013!
We are proud to present our most-read article of 2013:
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The second most popular Mammalian Daily article in 2013 was…
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Top Ten countdown: #3
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