The Park is a busy place in September, and this year, there’s even more to do and see and hear. So, The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on what’s on for September 2013.

Ready, set, mark your calendars!

Official end of estivation

It’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!

Let the celebrations begin on September 14!

The Beats of Burden Music Festival

The 1st annual Beats of Burden Music Festival promises three days and three nights of continuous music-making, with all our great bands and singers performing in aid of The Park’s refugees. Expect some surprises (as well as surprise appearances) along with the great sounds. And don’t forget the fabulous food and all sorts of other fun. September 14-16.

2013 Interspecial Summer Games

They only happen once every six years and the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games promise to be the sporting event of the decade, with more events scheduled than ever before! Watch our Park athletes compete for medals in a wide array of sports on the field, in the sky or in the water. September 22-October 1.

The Park’s Semi-Annual “Shakeoff”

It’s all about Animals helping Animals at The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff.” The event encourages Animals to donate their hair in aid of those whose coats can’t protect them from the harsh elements. In addition to helping others, you can also partake of free refreshments and get a new hairstyle from one the event’s on-site groomers (gratis, of course!).

“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”   September 27

Park Animals are not the only ones experiencing anxiety about the annual Mating Dance. The 2013 Archons are running out of time to reach a consensus on proposed changes to the event’s rules.

With the annual Park Mating Dance less than a month away, it seems that those planning to attend aren’t the only ones who are experiencing a heightened level of anxiety.

So says Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the 2013 Archons, who confirmed at a media Q&A this morning that The Park’s 35 leaders are currently sequestered in the Burrow Theatre mulling over the newest set of proposed changes to the Dance’s rules.

“It’s a last-ditch attempt to reach some kind of consensus,” Alouatta said. “They fully understand [the importance] and it is weighing heavily on them. Unless they do [reach an agreement], the Dance will have to be postponed.”

Changes to The Park’s demographics have made amendments to the rules of the Mating Dance necessary, experts say. But, with previous Archons failing to act on that imperative, the responsibility has fallen to this year’s leaders.

After weeks of consultation with health officials and researchers at the University of West Terrier, as well as with The Park’s Departments of Well-Being and Safety and Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, Chief Archon Dewi Rhinoceros was confident they had a set of rules that they could approve, Alouatta said.

It soon became apparent, however, that unanimous approval would require further discussion and, possibly, more tweaking.

But since organizers say they require at least two weeks to prepare, only a small amount of time remains before the Dance must be postponed. Alouatta is certain, though, that an agreement is imminent.

“Zoocracy is a messy, time-consuming affair, but I believe that, in the end, the Dance will go ahead as planned,” he said.

The Park’s semi-annual “Shake for Charity” has become “The Shakeoff”

The Park’s “Shake for Charity,” which takes place today, has undergone a name change. But the charities that sponsor it want you to know that its purpose remains the same.

“We remain committed to our original goal, which is to enable those who cannot grow an adequate coat, for whatever reason, to be protected from the harsh elements of the seasons,” explains organizing committee head Andras Yak. “We changed the name because we wanted to keep up to date and add a little pizzazz to the event.”

So, the event will be known from now on as “The Shakeoff,” but in every other way, it will be the same …only better, says Yak.

“The Shakeoff has grown substantially and every year more Park businesses participate. We are very appreciative of that, as we are appreciative of those who choose to return. Their services make the event what it is,” he says.

For only the second time in its history, The Shakeoff will benefit from having a team of grooming professionals on hand to assist participants. Those seeking a fresh look or who just want to “tame their mane” will be able to take full advantage of the talents of groomers from Amoltrud’s Aesthetics, The Mane Event, Tallulah’s Toilettage and En Garde Hair and Skin Salon.

Refreshments will be available on site as well, courtesy of The Compost Heap, Florette’s Fine Edibles, and Clowder.

But Animals won’t be coming to The Shakeoff for the perks, Yak says.

“I think our slogan, “If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t,” says it all about Park Animals helping each other,” he says.

The Shakeoff takes place today from 9:00 am until midnight at the Wishing Well. Volunteers from The Park’s various charities will be on hand to collect hair until then.

Chaos reigned in The Park as 2013 Keeper of the Nut Tapio Orava returned the Nut at celebrations held on February 20

Chaos reigned yesterday in The Park, as Tapio Orava prepared to fulfil his duties as 2013 Keeper of the Nut.

Orava could not hide his discomfort as he stretched out his arms and returned the Nut to the citizenry in a ceremony that has great historical significance.

Swearing the ancient oath that the Nut was “kept from harm and preserved intact,” he said he could see and hear thousands of protesters around him, waving signs and shouting at each other.

“I didn’t know, at first, that they weren’t protesting against me, but I didn’t know why they would be doing that,” he said later. “So I just tightened my tail and got on with the business at hand.”

The protesters came from two different camps: some were members of The Park’s hibernating communities who had come out in support of Hieronymous Hedgehog and others were vehement supporters of controversial Toro Talk Radio host Yannis Tavros. At one point, surrounding Orava, they declared war on each other and Park Police were forced to step in to quell the demonstration.

“I was mortified…for The Park and for him [Tapio Orava]…and I was sad,” said Beatrice Zilonis, a professor in the Department of History at the University of West Terrier.

“This is a day of great significance to us…a day that has always been one of pure joy, marking the end of hibernation and reuniting most of The Park’s residents. It is a day when we all come together and celebrate our survival. They [the protesters] had no business being there,” she said.

Noticeably absent from the ceremony was Hieronymous Hedgehog, who is at the centre of the controversy, along with Yannis Tavros. According to his hibernating compatriots, he is still resting in his burrow and is unaware, as yet, of the firestorm that his Groundhog Day remarks created.

“He’s living in blissful ignorance,” said his cousin Cyril, stifling a laugh. “But I doubt that that can last much longer.”

Meanwhile, according to Park Police, the half-day celebration of survival and solidarity yielded 400 arrests, 175 injuries and, as of today, 4 lawsuits.

“I guess you could say it wasn’t just another day in The Park for us,” said Gareth Shepherd, President of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW), who oversaw security at the event.

The Department of Hoildays, Festivals, and Celebrations announced today that the Celebration of the Winter Solstice is to begin at sunrise this year

The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has announced the itinerary for this year’s Celebration of the Winter Solstice.

At a press conference held this morning, Aintza Kanariar, director of public relations for the Department, said she was “very pleased” to announce that this year’s festivities will begin at sunrise on December 21.

“This is the first time in seven years years that the Winter Solstice celebrations have begun at sunrise and it marks a return to the beginning of Park life under zoocracy,” she said.

The Celebration will be a mixture of old and new and will incorporate familiar and foreign elements, she confirmed.

Invited musical guests include Eggie and The Pigs, SpontaneousGeneration, SCENTient Beings, Inktvis and Krake, NIML, rap artist Will.o.be, The Tweeters, and The Endeka Elephant Band.

The Herman Stoat Dance Company will perform a new work entitled, “The White Dance,” which was choreographed for the occasion by the company’s assistant choreographer, Gustav Hermelin.

Other entertainment acts include jugglers, clowns, a Human imitator, and a Canine comic. As well, several students from the Hani Gajah School of Art will be on hand to paint “three-minute portraits” of Solstice celebrants.

As always, a major component of the festivities will be the food. This year, Kanaria said, Clowder and The Cackling Goose Tavern will provide the festive fare. As well, courtesy of Ants in Your Pantry and Provisions by Petrounel, all attendees will go home with tasty party favours.

“With these plans in place, as well as a few surprises, we expect this to be a joyful, memorable occasion for all,” said Kanaria.

The Celebration of the Winter Solstice begins at sunrise on December 21. Food will be served until 11:00 pm.

The sun is shining, the air is warm, and we have almost three months to go before Winter officially arrives. What better time to slough off that unwanted hair and go for a quick dip before the cold sets in?

The Park’s semi-annual Shake for Charity gives you the chance to do just that and benefit a great cause at the same time.

The event will take place tomorrow from 9:00 am until midnight at the Wishing Well and organizers expect a record crowd to attend.

“We had an unusually hot, dry summer and some of us have seen our coats grow to a length we never thought possible,” says Andras Yak, head of the organizing committee. “This is a great opportunity for Park Animals to share this unusual bounty with others.”

And this season’s event, the second of the calendar year, will include some added touches that Yak says he believes participants will enjoy.

“We are very proud to announce that there will be a team of grooming professionals on hand to assist participants after the Shake. If you’re looking for a new hairstyle or you just want to tame your mane, the talented groomers from Amoltrud’s Aesthetics, The Mane Event, and Tallulah’s Toilettage will be happy to help you, free of charge. It’s all in the spirit of giving,” Yak says.

As usual, volunteers from The Park’s various charities will be on hand to collect hair until midnight. Refreshments will be available, as well, courtesy of The Compost Heap, Florette’s Fine Edibles, and Clowder.

So — come one, come all! Get up and out and shake yourself silly for the benefit of others!

If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t!