• Home
  • About The Mammalian Daily
    • TMD 101: A quick guide to reading The Mammalian Daily
    • A note about our style
  • Welcome to The Park
    • About The Park
    • Past and Present Archons
  • Park Life
    • Educational Institutions
      • University of West Terrier
      • Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life
      • Leonardo Language and Culture Institute
      • The Hani Gajah School of Art
      • Park School of Aesthetics
    • Shops and Retail
    • Restaurants and Pubs
    • Financial Institutions
      • Currency
    • Health & Well-Being
      • Hospitals and Clinics
      • Directory of Park Health Services
    • Grooming Houses
      • Amoltrud’s Aesthetics
      • En Garde Hair and Skin Salon
      • Halcyon Days Canine Coiffure
      • KwikLiks
      • Tallulah’s Toilettage
      • The Mane Event
      • The Pluming Room
    • Park Services
      • Architects and Construction Services
      • Employment Service
      • Entertainment and Party Services
      • Financial Services
      • Home Services
      • Image and Consulting Services
      • Legal Services
      • Park-Sponsored Programmes
      • Personal Services
      • Real Estate Services
      • Translation Services
      • Travel & Transportation Services
    • Charities
    • Citizen Aid & Action Associations
      • Associations, Federations, and Alliances
      • Political Reform Groups
      • Environmental Groups
      • Immigrant and Citizen Aid Groups
      • Education Groups
    • Sports
  • Arts in The Park
    • Art Galleries in The Park
    • Theatres and Cinemas
    • Music Makers
    • The Barkettes
      • History and Legacy of The Barkettes
      • Thisbe and the Barkettes Celebrate 10 Years of Sensational Singing Success
      • Olden Goldies: Noreen Interviews The Barkettes
      • Thisbe and The Barkettes: Hits and Recordings
    • The Library
    • Book Reviews
  • Media in The Park
    • Newspapers
    • Magazines
    • Radio Stations
    • Television Stations
    • Publishing Companies
    • Mammalian Daily Associated News Services
  • Fun
    • Take Our Quick Quizzes!
    • See Our Ads
      • A Different Reality
      • Canine Standup Comedy
      • Fake News
      • Financial Crisis
      • Liquid Assets
      • Monkey See
      • Solid Ground
      • Who We Are
      • Think Outside the Book

The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen
  • Breaking News
    • NewsBits
    • Whoa! Braking News
  • Politics/Law/Crime
    • Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction
    • Past and Present Archons
  • Economy and Business
  • Education
  • Health and Medicine
    • Media
      • Month Without Metaphor
  • Focus on
  • Science and Technology
  • Arts, Entertainment, and Culture
    • Park Life
      • Ask a Poodle
      • Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM)
      • Passings
      • Gossip and Rumour
    • Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF)
    • PIFF Piffle
    • Thisbe and the Barkettes
  • Noreen
    • Dear Noreen Advice Columns
  • Sports
    • Let’s Talk Balls!
  • Interviews
    • Five Questions For…
    • Survivor Profiles
  • Archives
    • Wednesday Rewind
    • Nostalgia
    • From the Vault

Wednesday Rewind: Hibernators blame calendar change for premature deaths

September 12, 2018 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Park’s hibernators blame calendar harmonization for the rise in deaths from premature awakening in their community over the last two years

Original Publication Date: 4 July 2012

With their friends neatly tucked in and enjoying a peaceful estivation, The Park’s hibernating communities have joined together to fight calendar harmonization, which they believe is at least partly responsible for the rise in deaths from premature awakening in their community.

“We wanted to wait until after the official estivation date to launch our fight,” said Oliver S.P. Franklin, head of the Confederation of Ground Squirrels (CGS) whose group initiated the action. “We didn’t want to alarm our friends or disturb their tranquility.”

Together, the hibernating groups plan to challenge the law known as “The Calendar Harmonization Act” in the hope of having it repealed.

“We’re confident that if we succeed in demonstrating the harm it [The Act] has done to our communities, the Archons will consider reinstating our original calendar,” Franklin says.

See also:
Archons to move forward on calendar harmonization
Thousands rally against calendar harmonization

To that end, the hibernators have enlisted the help of a group of researchers and statisticians, including Dr. Jagger Zebu, Professor of Mammalian Medicine at the University of West Terrier and one of the authors of a recent report that documents the rise in the incidence of deaths due to premature awakening among The Park’s hibernating citizens.

Premature awakening from hibernation is defined by The Park’s Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) as a situation in which an Animal awakens from hibernation 3-4 weeks before the official date. The situation results in death 99% of the time, as Animals are often unable to find adequate sustenance so early in the season.

According to the report, deaths from premature awakening have risen 30% in the last two years.

“Coincidentally, that is the same length of time the new calendar has been in operation,” says Cormac Nuttallii, a member of the Idiosyncratic Hibernators of The Park (IHOP) and a vocal critic of calendar harmonization. His group has joined forces with the other hibernating communities to “see that justice is served,” he says.

Related

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

Accolades for The Mammalian Daily

The Mammalian Daily “Lightens The Morning Cup o’ Gloom,” says Margaret Atwood

Follow Us

  • X
  • Facebook
  • YouTube

Mammalian Daily-Related Sites

  • The Park Census
  • The Park Museum
  • The University of West Terrier

The Mammalian Daily on Twitter

  • Chef Tab Tricolore
  • Gunnar Rotte
  • Hieronymous Hedgehog
  • Mammalian Daily
  • Media's Month Without Metaphor
  • Millicent Hayberry
  • Noreen
  • Park Groundhog Day Celebrations
  • Pieter Paard
  • PIFF Reports
  • Yannis Tavros

Welcome to the Media Circus!

Looking for something?

Archives

How wise you are to read this newspaper!

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

TMD quick links

  • TMD 101: A quick guide to reading The Mammalian Daily
  • The Best of Noreen
  • Interviews
  • Take Our Quick Quizzes!
  • Nostalgia: Celebrating 1,000 articles!

Join TMD on Facebook

Join TMD on Facebook

Click below to see what others say about us

CATCH UP HERE!

May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Apr    

Contents Copyright © 2025 The Mammalian Daily