The Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) offered the public a sneak peek at its new exhibition, “Art of the Domestic Feline” today in the above slide show.
The museum will host a gala this evening. The exhibition will open tomorrow.
Majority of new Park jobs are in field of security, law: Department of Statistics
The majority of new Park jobs are in security and law, statistics say
The majority of The Park’s newly-created jobs lie in the fields of security and law, says a new report released today by the Department of Statistics and Records.[pullquote]These types of service jobs–parapolicing, for example—are creating a false impression that life in The Park is dangerous. That impression could become a destabilizing force and…lead to the need for these jobs.—Dr. Anneliese Cissa, Livingstone School of Economics and Social Science, UWT[/pullquote]
The report, which is known as, “Statistics Related to Job Creation in The Park: 2014,” is the latest in a series of reports that have been commissioned annually since 2007 by the sitting Archons.
The state of employment as depicted in the report is troubling in many ways, says Dr. Anneliese Cissa, head of the Livingstone School of Economics and Social Science at the University of West Terrier. Dr. Cissa, who has written extensively about the Park’s economy and its effect on employment, says this latest report shows concrete evidence that we are “spinning” in terms of high level job creation.
“This report shows that The Park is not just failing to generate new, high level jobs; it is still creating too high a number of service jobs. But even more than that, these types of service jobs–parapolicing, for example—are creating a false impression that life in The Park is dangerous. That impression could become a destabilizing force and could, in turn, lead to the need for these jobs,” she says.
According to Dr. Cissa, nothing has changed significantly since she wrote the report, “Seeking Greener Pastures: The Exodus of the Unwilling and Able,” in 2012. At that time, she warned that The Park was not generating sufficient jobs to keep the skilled and most diligent among us from leaving to seek employment elsewhere. Now, she says, the situation has become even more dire.
“We must allocate funds in the new budget for high level job creation. Otherwise, we will have nothing of substance to offer our young.”
PIFF 2015 sneak peek: Noon Nuttiness
The Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) may be many weeks away, but today, at least, we got a sneak peek at what’s going to tickle our funny bones come October.
At a short press conference this morning, PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot announced three of the films that will screen during the Noon Nuttiness portion of PIFF 2015:
SEARCHING FOR THE SPITMAN: A JOURNEY THROUGH FOAM, FROTH, AND FUN
Directed by Ernesto Santiago Camello
The Park | 23 minutes | Noon Nuttiness Première
We’re all familiar with our friend Stan the Spitman’s signature phrase, “Spitballs from Heaven!” Yet how much do we know about the Spitman, himself?
Not a lot, as it turns out. But writer and director Ernesto Santiago Camello has set out to change all that in this alarmingly candid short film about one of The Park’s funniest citizens engaged in one of the world’s oldest professions: spitmaking.
WOODRUFF DALMATIO: FINE LINES AND WRINKLES
Directed by Ludmilla Ptak
The Park | 26 minutes | Noon Nuttiness Première
Not just a hastily put together version of his award-winning book of the same name, but a film that shows the outrageous Dalmatio at work and at play, which for him appears to be the same thing.
NOT FOR POLITICAL PORPOISES
Directed by Cong Da Jiāngtún
The Park | 35 minutes | Noon Nuttiness Première
It takes a certain kind of mind to create humour out of adversity, and there’s no doubt Cong Da Jiāngtún has it.
Jiāngtún, whose own species is endangered, has written and directed this “tour of the everyday life of the almost extinct.”
“Life on the out and out,” he says in the film, “can be extraordinarily amusing.”
The Park Interspecial Film Festival runs 1-5 October 2015.
Noon Nuttiness gratefully acknowledges the support of The Nut Bar, the most trusted nut shop in The Park.
UWT to investigate allegations of unethical experimentation on Humans
BREAKING NEWS
The University of West Terrier announced today that it has initiated an investigation into allegations of unethical experimentation on Humans.
The announcement came in a statement signed by the President and Governors of the University and posted on the university’s web site.
According to the statement, the allegations under investigation stem from research conducted by the Department of Human Studies. No researchers or areas of research are named and the statement emphasizes the broad nature of the investigation:
The university wishes to emphasize that this is an investigation into alleged misconduct and that no particular member of our faculty or student body is under investigation at this juncture.
The investigating team consists of several UWT faculty members who serve the university independently of the Department of Human Studies. These include Dr. Chloris Cougar, Dr. Fionnula L. Fox, Dr. Hume T. Goat, Dr. Luule Aednik, and Dr. Simone Gibbon. Other team members are Dr. Berthilidis Strix, Inspector Antonia T. Fossa of the Interspecial Investigations Unit, and Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon. Dr. Milada J. Goose, head of the Honking Hollow laboratory at the University of West Terrier and a senior member of the Committee to Oversee Scientific Research in The Park (COSRIP) will oversee the team and the investigation.
Although no time frame for a final report by the investigating team was mentioned in the statement, a spokesAnimal for the university told The Mammalian Daily that the administration is committed to conducting the investigation in a fair and timely manner.
Park Museum to host major exhibition dealing with rôle of sport in Park life
The Park Museum announced today that it will host a major exhibition dealing with the rôle of sport in Park life.
In a post on its web site, the museum said the exhibition, entitled, Flyball and the Importance of Balls in the Everyday Life of Park Animals, will feature more than five hundred works including oil and watercolour paintings, photographs, sculpture, works in metal and glass, and textile impressions, “all celebrating balls and the way they inform Park life.”
Co-curated by The Park Museum’s resident curator, Dorika Pumi, and Mammalian Daily Balls columnist and sports historian, Bailey, the exhibition is scheduled to open in the Spring of 2016.
“This is the first exhibit of its kind anywhere in The Park and I am honoured that we have been invited to assist in its assembly,” said Clark Cascanueces, president of the Park Historical Society, in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this morning.
Cascanueces praised the museum for its “foresight” and called the upcoming exhibition a “major breakthrough.”
“For the most part, we have ignored the importance of sport—and of leisure activities— in the lives of Park Animals, “he said. “We’ve chosen to focus on survival and prosperity, but sport has great historical importance to Animals and, I would venture to say, is a necessary component of a good life.”
More information on the exhibit will be available in the new year.
Zorro verdict likely this month; court transcripts to be released in October
SplotchWatch owner Raimundo Zorro
Closing arguments were heard Friday in the trial of SplotchWatch web site owner Raimundo Zorro and the verdict of Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon will likely come down this month, experts say.
Zorro faces two counts of “inciting hate” and one count of “inciting discord.” The former charges refer to the intent of his web site; the latter refers to its effects.
Zorro, whom some have described as a disgruntled former journalist, was represented in court by his lawyer, Pernilla Varghund. Varghund is a junior partner in The Park’s oldest law firm, Terrier, Terrier, Wolfhound and Shepherd.
During the trial and in closing, Varghund argued vehemently that Zorro’s only intent in running the web site was to encourage “openness and honesty” and to let Park Animals know who among them had removed their stripes or spots.
The issue became of major concern this year when The Park’s major grooming houses reported that stripe removal had become their most sought-after service. This is likely due to both social and financial concerns, as numerous reports and studies have indicated that striped and spotted Animals do not receive equal treatment in The Park.
After almost six months of police surveillance, Zorro’s web site was shut down last March and he was subsequently charged. The original trial date was set for June 25, but it was held over until July 13 due to the temporary absence from The Park of several key witnesses.
A spokesAnimal for The Park’s court system confirmed that, in the interest of openness, the transcripts of the trial will be made public in October.
One last time: Barkettes announce final Park date of Bring Your Own Bone tour
Thisbe and the Barkettes have announced the final Park date of their “Bring Your Own Bone” tour. That date is August 22.
The announcement came in the form of a letter to their longtime fans and fellow Park citizens:
Dear friends, fans, and fellow citizens:
It is with a mixture of anticipation and sadness that we announce that our final Park concert will take place on August 22, at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.
We cannot fully express the joy that this leg of the tour has brought us. The Park has always been our home—not just our first home, but our only home. And over the course of the years, our fellow Park citizens have become members of our family. Every time we leave, a piece of ourselves remains here and when we return, we are made whole again.
The gratitude that we feel for the way that you all have received us after such a long hiatus is immense and overwhelming. You have touched our hearts and renewed our spirits and our love of this place and its extraordinary Animals.
Although we cannot say for sure when we will meet again, please know that you are foremost in our minds and that we will make every effort to come home as soon and as often as possible. In the meantime, we look forward to an amazing concert full of surprises on August 22 and one last opportunity to see you on this tour and thank you with our music.
All our love always,
Thisbe and the Barkettes
July’s a wrap, so here’s our recap
July 1-15
“Harmonious” pair newest tool to promote rapport among Park’s young
PFO head’s remarks hint at new attitude to tourism promotion
This year’s first case of Small Ball Fever diagnosed at Park hospital
Hayberry superfan succumbs to illness
July 16-31
Second Tree found hacked in Park
Flyball Finals attract diverse audience
Tall Tail Books moves into Human market with “explainer videos” of its books
Hayberry eulogizes superfan at Saturday’s memorial service
Winners of tickets to Barkettes’ free concert to be announced Tuesday
AnonyMoose claims responsibility for latest Tree hacking in Park
“Plumpen Rolletariat” artist to open new PMoCA exhibition in August
Hacked Maple Tree dies as police continue search for AnonyMoose
Barkettes issue invitation to bring Tartan Crab artefacts to Sunday concert
Noreen to appear on Yannis Tavros show to discuss phenomenon of superfans
DWBS issues warning to Animals regarding Humans vacationing in Park
Park ART Walk, Extinction Anxiety Clinic join forces to celebrate work of endangered species
Mark your calendars: August 18 is Budget Day in The Park
Archons’ office hires full-time consultant to build legacy: rumour
Noreen shocks Tavros listeners: “Let’s organize a Superfan Saturday!”
Noreen shocks Yannis Tavros listeners: “Let’s organize a Superfan Saturday!”
Listeners to the Yannis Tavros show on Wednesday were treated not only to an exclusive interview with Noreen, but to an extemporaneous ode to superfans and a spontaneous call to honour their contributions.
“The rôle of superfans has changed immensely over my lifetime in that they now have an actual rôle to play in the careers of their idols,” said the Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier.
“Their relationship to the stars, whether they be musicians, painters, singers, sculptors, writers…has become symbiotic and I truly believe this is a positive thing.”
Noreen, who has herself been called “the ultimate superfan,” because of her longstanding loyalty and affection for Thisbe and the Barkettes, was a solo guest on the Toro Talk Radio show Wednesday. While taking calls from listeners, Noreen experienced what she called a “whistle in her ear,” a term she has used often for the phenomenon of an idea that presents itself to her out of the blue.
“We need to organize a Superfan Saturday!” she exclaimed, taking Tavros and the radio station by surprise. “Let’s make a commitment, right here and now to honour superfans publicly. If you are a superfan, call in now. We’ll take down your name and details and get back to you about the time and date.”
By the time the show was finished, Noreen and the radio technicians had a list of hundreds of superfans, and a queue of several hundred more waiting on the phones.
While Tavros seemed stunned, Noreen was obviously thrilled by the response. She said she planned to visit the office of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations as soon as she took off her microphone.
“Let’s do this!” she barked. “This is going to be one heck of a celebration!”
Archons’ office hires full-time consultant to build legacy: rumour
Gossip site headsNtales says the Archons have hired an image consultant
Only halfway through their term but with their eyes on the future, the 2015 Archons appear to have engaged the services of a full-time legacy consultant.
The Park’s “most-watched gossip web site,” headsNtales, is reporting that an agent representing the Office of the Archons had a series of meetings in June with the Maidali Margay Consulting Group. These meetings, according to the web site, resulted in the signing of a comprehensive contract for services to represent the 2015 Archons and “all Archons in perpetuity.”
In a preamble to the post, the site’s co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo writes, “We are going on the record with this and the reason is that, in our opinion, this is a despicable move on the part of the Archons and we believe that all Park Animals should know about it and protest the use of funds for such a purpose. The way to be commended for your work is to do a good job, not to hire a company to say that you have done a good job.”
The Maidali Margay Group assists individuals and companies in rehabilitating their image and making themselves more palatable to a disenchanted public. The company is perhaps best known for working with beleaguered radio talk show host Yannis Tavros after he insulted Hieronymous Hedgehog and his uncle, the late Archon Hamlin Jarvis Lambert Hedgehog. Following Tavros’s suspension from Toro Talk Radio, a consultant from the group engineered his comeback by rallying his supporters and arranging his “snout to snout” on-air summit with Hieronymous. The group’s other clients have included deposed Park Finance Officer Milton Struts, the Monotreme Savings Bank (MSB), and Fannia di Volo, editor-in-chief of the Insect Intelligencer (subsequently renamed the Serangga Star Adviser).
