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Newspaper’s front page editorial sparks furor among Park residents

December 1, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Rodent Commoner

 

Animals have taken to the streets, the Archons and Park Police are calling for calm, and the author of a front page editorial published in The Rodent Commoner this morning has been granted security protection after receiving hundreds of threats on his life.

The piece, written by Rodent Commoner reporter Gunnar Espen Rotte, has ignited a firestorm of protest and, according to one observer, “opened the floodgates to a torrent of interspecial hate.”

In the editorial entitled, “Why I Don’t Bleed for my Striped Brothers,” Rotte explains his reaction to the results of various studies that confirm that striped Animals in The Park are “not getting their fair share of the economic pie.”

“So why am I not banging the ‘equality’ drum and championing their cause, as so many of my compatriots have done?” the well-respected writer, who has published articles in a number of Park newspapers, asks.

This is part of his answer, written simply and eloquently:

“I come from a species that is universally hated, not just by Humans, but by many other species, who are all too happy to stand by and watch as we are poisoned, kidnapped, incarcerated, used as laboratory subjects, and suffer other similar or worse fates.”

The rest of the editorial expands on this statement and concludes with what some have described as “a condemnation of not only the promises of zoocracy, but its policies.”

“In short,” Rotte writes, “our system has failed not only the striped and spotted, but whole species. I would argue that, as a Park, we have nothing to be proud of at this moment.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

AVN TV to turn its lens on Humans

August 28, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

This Autumn, the AVN Television Network (AVN TV) will begin broadcasting a new live television series that will focus on Humans as they spend time in The Park.[pullquote]This show is truly for the Birds. It will be amazing … watching them watch us watching them.” – AVN TV Program Director Izrine Corneille   [/pullquote]

AVN’s Chief Executive Officer Orville Condor and Program Director Izrine Corneille made the announcement at a press conference this morning.

“We [at AVN TV] have a unique perspective on The Park, and we want to use that perspective to serve our customers,” Corneille said. “This show is truly for the Birds. It will be amazing … watching them watch us watching them.”

Corneille said the show will be broadcast for two hours (one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon) every day of the week. The network’s initial contract with the show’s producers calls for the series to run for 12 consecutive months.

“We wanted to show Humans in every season, starting with the Autumn,” Condor said. 

The show is scheduled to begin on September 22.

AVN Television is a wholly-owned subsidiary of AVN Media, a Park-based media corporation whose holdings also include AVN Radio, CLucK Radio and The Avian Messenger.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

“Snag, land, dive in, sniff out”: Month Without Metaphor’s mid-month results

May 19, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

sheep_006So, how is your favourite publication doing?

The mid-month figures are in for May’s Month Without Metaphor and, if we do say so ourselves, The Mammalian Daily is not doing badly at all. But, we wouldn’t want to blow our own horn brag.

The number of infractions thus far total 1,427, with the Dingo Boomerang leading the pack taking in first place in terms of transgressions, with 88 metaphors published over the past two weeks.

While The Marsupial Messenger published the fewest metaphors overall, in an ironic twist, The Eagle Star was caught using one while reporting on a mistake in The Messenger’s May 12 issue: The Star ran a headline that read “Did The Marsupial Messenger fail its readers? The jury is still out on that one.”

Here are the mid-month results:

The Dingo Boomerang: 88
The Mollusk Messenger: 83
The Salamander Evening Post: 81
The Burro Beacon: 78
The Noodlefish News: 77
The Canary Courier: 76
The Halibut Herald: 74
The Equine Echo: 70
The Eagle Star: 69
The Robin Reporter: 67
The Galliforme Gazette: 66
The Kaluga Register:  65
The Cosmopolitan Pest: 62
The Bluebird Free Press: 60
The Polar Bear Post: 57
The Avian Messenger: 55
PRANCE Magazine: 52
The Blackbird Informer: 51
The Ornis Interpreter: 47
The Mammalian Daily: 44
The Raccoon Reporter: 38
The Simian Spectator: 35
The Marsupial Messenger: 32

 

 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor

Park media outlets to tweet during May’s Month Without Metaphor

May 2, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

MonthWM

Click on the image above to follow MonthWithoutMetaphor on Twitter

Those members of The Park’s media who have made a commitment to participating in May’s Month Without Metaphor will be tweeting throughout the month, according to a joint statement released yesterday.

The participants, the majority of whom work for The Park’s newspapers, magazines, and journals, said in the joint statement that they “look forward to experimenting with many different ways of expressing ourselves and discussing the events of the day.”

The statement also said that editors would be keeping a running tally, “so that we’ll be able to see which journals and journalists were best able to communicate without using metaphors.”

May’s Month Without Metaphor was developed to gauge the effectiveness of reporting the news “like it really is…no embellishments, no idiotic comparisons, no ridiculous painting of pictures for the reading public,” says Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger and one of the organizers of the communications experiment.

“We think all this metaphorical reporting is obscuring those facts and distracting our readers’ attention from the important issues,” he said.

To follow Park media on Twitter during May, click on http://www.twitter.com/sansmetaphore

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor, Park Life

Catch a metaphor, win a prize: Mammalian Daily contest begins May 1

April 25, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

MonthWithoutMetaphor

Click the image for a definition of “metaphor”

The Mammalian Daily is putting its money where its mouth is, so to speak.

So committed is this newspaper to the idea of Park media’s Month Without Metaphor, that our managing editor, Orphea Haas, is offering a reward to those able to catch any slip-ups that our writers make during the month of May.

“We respect our readers and we know they will be watching every move we make,” said Haas in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this morning.

“If they’re willing to spend their time scoping out our prose, we will be happy to reward them for finding any mistakes that we’ve made.”

Haas denied, however, that the paper intends to slip in the odd metaphor just to keep readers on their toes…and rewarded.

“It will be hard enough for us to accomplish a month of writing without using any metaphors,” she said. “I don’t think we have to worry about cheating our readers.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor, Park Life

Noreen joins Twitter: @talkswithnoreen

April 17, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Noreen on TwitterBREAKING NEWS

Attention Park residents, Avians and non-Avians alike: stay tuned because some important tweets are coming your way.

Noreen has joined Twitter.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and Adjunct Professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier confirmed today that she has opened a Twitter account and intends to start using it “in the near future.”

In an open letter to her fellow journalists, her colleagues at UWT, and to her potential followers on Twitter, Noreen wrote:

It gives me great pleasure to announce that I have found another way to communicate with you, my fellow Park residents. I have joined Twitter! From now on, I will be able to share my great knowledge of Humans with you easily and quickly. I look forward to enjoying a lively conversation with you and I invite you to tweet your questions to me at any time. Now, let the conversation begin!

Noreen is also at work on a book, which will be published this Autumn.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Media, Park Life Tagged With: advice columnist, Twitter, University of West Terrier

Park media organizations gear up for first ever “Month Without Metaphor”

April 15, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Month Without Metaphor

Two weeks to go before media’s first “Month Without Metaphor.”

With just two weeks to go, The Park’s media organizations are gearing up for what some have called the biggest experiment in the history of journalism.[pullquote]I wouldn’t be surprised if it kickstarted interest…Whether the media can hold that interest is the question”. – Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP)[/pullquote]

“All systems are go,” pronounced Alvin Tinamou with pride, at a hastily-organized update at his office yesterday afternoon. The subject was May’s “Month Without Metaphor,” but the Elephant in the room was the state of the industry, itself.

“It’s no secret that the modern era has presented us with a huge challenge,” Tinamou admits, but he backs away from any suggestion that the industry is on its last legs.

In fact, the publisher of The Avian Messenger winces at the term “experiment” to describe the month-long initiative of which he is one of the organizers. Instead, he refers to it as the “Grand Resuscitation,” an ambitious description that some in the profession say it could well turn out to be.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it kickstarted interest, especially among the newspaper readership,” says Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP). “Whether the media and, particularly, our newspapers, can hold that interest, though, is the question.”

Gertrude C. Owl, Dean of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism and Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent agrees.

“I think it’s a brilliant idea, really, inviting the public to, almost, scrutinize the business…allowing them to feel a part of it, while still keeping the boundaries clear. I’m cautiously optimistic about it, but I think it will take more than one go at this type of thing to be truly effective,” she says.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor, Park Life Tagged With: journalism, media, moribund industry, newspapers, readership

Noreen confirms upcoming appearance at book fair for Humans

March 27, 2014 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Official Noreen

Noreen will appear at a book fair aimed at the Human market

BREAKING NEWS

It’s official: Noreen will be appearing this Autumn at a book fair aimed at the Human market.

After weeks of rumour and speculation, Noreen has confirmed that she will be participating in a book-signing event at the Toronto International Book Fair.

In a press statement released this morning, the long-time Mammalian Daily advice columnist and Adjunct Professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier acknowledged the controversy surrounding her decision.

“This decision was not taken lightly, but after much thought and reflection. It is my considered opinion that sharing my views with other species, which in this case means the species that is the subject of my book, can only lead to better understanding,” she said.

Noreen, who will be one of many hundreds of exhibitors at the fair, will be promoting and signing her first book, entitled “Lovely to Look At: Twenty Things You Should Know About Humans.”

The book will be released early this Summer by The Park’s Marcellin de la Griffe Publishers, S.A. and is expected to be a strong contender for the non-fiction prize at June’s Chitter Radio Literary Awards.

The Toronto International Book Fair will take place November 13-16, 2014.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Mammalian Daily signs on to media’s “Month Without Metaphor”

March 11, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Month Without Metaphor

The Mammalian Daily will participate in The Park’s media-wide “Month Without Metaphor.”

It’s a bold idea that is sure to make waves. And, this morning, managing editor Orphea Haas confirmed that The Mammalian Daily is coming on board.

“That is music to our ears,” said Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger and one of the organizers of The Park’s “Month Without Metaphor.”

The media-wide initiative, which is set to run for the entire month of May, promises to shake up what many regard as a moribund industry. And as of yesterday, almost ninety percent of The Park’s newspapers and magazines had agreed to participate in Tinamou’s “Grand Resuscitation.” The Mammalian Daily is the largest and latest to do so.

“We’re thrilled about it,” said Tinamou in an interview this afternoon. “The Mammalian Daily is such an influential paper in The Park and their participation gives us another quiver in our arsenal.”

The idea of the initiative, Tinamou says, is to “tell it like it really is…no embellishments, no idiotic comparisons, no ridiculous painting of pictures for the reading public. Just the facts. We think they’re enough. And not only do we think the facts are enough, we think all this metaphorical reporting is obscuring those facts and distracting our readers’ attention from the important issues. What we need is clarity, particularly during these challenging times, and we very much look forward to seeing how our readers react to being offered a month of just plain facts.”

The Park’s media-wide “Month Without Metaphor” will run from May 1-31, 2014.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor, Park Life

Tavros to host third annual “Pundits’ Parlour” on Monday

January 29, 2014 By TMD Reporters

YannisTavros


Yannis Tavros will host another “Pundits’ Parlour” on Toro Talk Radio this Monday

For the third year in a row, Yannis Tavros will host Toro Talk Radio’s “Pundits’ Parlour” on Monday, February 3.

Manfred Stier, spokesAnimal for the radio station’s programming director, confirmed today that The Park’s best known political pundits will again have the chance to express their views on our incoming government on Tavros’s popular show.

“Yannis [Tavros] will once again relinquish his usual talk show format to moderate what has become a very popular annual forum,” Stier said.

This year’s guests include Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy at the University of West Terrier, historian and author Pieter Paard, Professor Ludwiga Saimiri of the Cuthbert School of Journalism, UWT Law Professor Fionnula L. Fox, Park Historical Society President Clark Cascanueces, UWT Professor of History Beatrice Zilonis, and Gertrude C. Owl, Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent and Dean of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Other participants include Ronald Grouse, chief political analyst at The Avian Messenger, Yuri Sturgeon of The Kaluga Register, Camlin “Cayuga” Newt of The Salamander Evening Post, and Noreen, Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct Professor of Human Studies.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Politics/Law/Crime

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