Park Animals are not the only ones experiencing anxiety about the annual Mating Dance. The 2013 Archons are running out of time to reach a consensus on proposed changes to the event’s rules.

With the annual Park Mating Dance less than a month away, it seems that those planning to attend aren’t the only ones who are experiencing a heightened level of anxiety.

So says Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the 2013 Archons, who confirmed at a media Q&A this morning that The Park’s 35 leaders are currently sequestered in the Burrow Theatre mulling over the newest set of proposed changes to the Dance’s rules.

“It’s a last-ditch attempt to reach some kind of consensus,” Alouatta said. “They fully understand [the importance] and it is weighing heavily on them. Unless they do [reach an agreement], the Dance will have to be postponed.”

Changes to The Park’s demographics have made amendments to the rules of the Mating Dance necessary, experts say. But, with previous Archons failing to act on that imperative, the responsibility has fallen to this year’s leaders.

After weeks of consultation with health officials and researchers at the University of West Terrier, as well as with The Park’s Departments of Well-Being and Safety and Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, Chief Archon Dewi Rhinoceros was confident they had a set of rules that they could approve, Alouatta said.

It soon became apparent, however, that unanimous approval would require further discussion and, possibly, more tweaking.

But since organizers say they require at least two weeks to prepare, only a small amount of time remains before the Dance must be postponed. Alouatta is certain, though, that an agreement is imminent.

“Zoocracy is a messy, time-consuming affair, but I believe that, in the end, the Dance will go ahead as planned,” he said.

The Park’s semi-annual “Shake for Charity” has become “The Shakeoff”

The Park’s “Shake for Charity,” which takes place today, has undergone a name change. But the charities that sponsor it want you to know that its purpose remains the same.

“We remain committed to our original goal, which is to enable those who cannot grow an adequate coat, for whatever reason, to be protected from the harsh elements of the seasons,” explains organizing committee head Andras Yak. “We changed the name because we wanted to keep up to date and add a little pizzazz to the event.”

So, the event will be known from now on as “The Shakeoff,” but in every other way, it will be the same …only better, says Yak.

“The Shakeoff has grown substantially and every year more Park businesses participate. We are very appreciative of that, as we are appreciative of those who choose to return. Their services make the event what it is,” he says.

For only the second time in its history, The Shakeoff will benefit from having a team of grooming professionals on hand to assist participants. Those seeking a fresh look or who just want to “tame their mane” will be able to take full advantage of the talents of groomers from Amoltrud’s Aesthetics, The Mane Event, Tallulah’s Toilettage and En Garde Hair and Skin Salon.

Refreshments will be available on site as well, courtesy of The Compost Heap, Florette’s Fine Edibles, and Clowder.

But Animals won’t be coming to The Shakeoff for the perks, Yak says.

“I think our slogan, “If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t,” says it all about Park Animals helping each other,” he says.

The Shakeoff takes place today from 9:00 am until midnight at the Wishing Well. Volunteers from The Park’s various charities will be on hand to collect hair until then.

The Park Hospital is gearing up to treat a flood of cases of Tulip-Related Illness (TRI) by hiring more nursing staff and opening up temporary space for beds

With Tulip season about to begin, workers at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm are preparing for long days, overnight stays, and time spent away from their families.

“It’s going to be difficult, but we’ve got the staff and supplies in place to do it and we believe we’re ready for whatever comes at us,” says head nurse Hermione Hippo.

The hospital has been preparing for a busy Spring since the end of November, when the 2013 Tulip Map was recalled. Officially known as the “Map of Tulip and other Bulb Beds in The Park and Environs,” the map is produced annually by The Park’s hibernating associations and is used in the Spring by a large number of The Park’s residents as a tool for sourcing food.

The discovery by the map’s producers of the presence of toxic substances in the bulbs’ planting areas meant that the map would be unsafe for use this Spring. Unfortunately, its subsequent recall came too late for the majority of The Park’s hibernators and doctors fear that even the Department of Well-Being and Safety’s public service campaign will not be sufficient to stem the tide of devastation due to Tulip-Related Illness (TRI).

“We’ve already treated a large number of Animals who presented with the signs and symptoms of TRI,” says Dr. Nuo Dingas, the hospital’s chief clinical toxicologist. “And they were the early risers, a small minority of our hibernating population. We are gearing up for an onslaught now that Spring has arrived,” he said.

TRI is not new to The Park, Dr. Dingas says. But, until recently, we have been able to keep it at bay.

“It is impossible to predict with one hundred per cent accuracy the location of all toxins inside and outside The Park so, of course, Animals have been affected in the past. But not nearly as many as we expect to see this year, and not just because of the map failure,” he says.

Symptoms of TRI include dizziness, fever, intestinal upset, vomiting, and seizures. If you experience any of these symptoms after visiting bulb beds, Dr. Dingas says, you should seek medical attention immediately.

“My best advice, though, is to forego Tulips this year, and stay away from bulb beds altogether,” he says.

For more information on Tulip-Related Illness, please consult The Department of Well-Being and Safety pamphlet, “What you should know about Tulip-Related Illness.”