The Mammalian Daily

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It’s official: Abeja is out, search is on for new PFO head

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PFO Head Valentina AbejaBREAKING NEWS

Valentina Abeja has left the PFO building.

Or at least, she’ll be gone by April 30.

In a short statement this afternoon, the Park Finance Office confirmed the rumours of the past few weeks:

“The Park Finance Office wishes to inform all Park citizens that PFO head Valentina Abeja will be leaving her post as of April 30 of this year. We thank her for her work and for the integrity with which she oversaw the PFO and two Park budgets and we wish her all the best in her future endeavours.”

The PFO also confirmed that it has initiated a search for a new head and budget chief.

Abeja was appointed in February of 2015, after Milton Struts was unceremoniously relieved of his duties after a series of scandals involving Humans. She moved swiftly to unite the PFO and to prepare budgets that reflected the needs and concerns of Park citizens. According to an August 2016 poll by The Cosmopolitan Pest, Abeja is extremely well-liked and trusted and most Park citizens were hoping that she would continue to head the PFO.

“She may be the best-liked and best-respected PFO head The Park has ever had,” Inès Puceron, the magazine’s editor, said last week. “But her ideas do not reflect those of the present Chief Archon.”

Archons hunt for new Finance Office head to defund tourism, trade: rumour

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3280_smiled_wolf_business_man_holding_cashPark Finance Office (PFO) head Valentina Abeja’s days may be numbered.

According to a post on the gossip site headsNtales, Chief Archon Klarissa Kuttu is “not pleased” with some of the terms of Abeja’s past budgets.

In the post dated today, the site’s co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo quotes a conversation she claims to have had with a Park Finance Office employee, who says that Abeja has been under pressure since January to produce a budget that will defund tourism and extra-hortulanial trade (trade with those living outside The Park).

According to Guacamayo’s source, Abeja has resisted, even though she herself reduced the funding for both in her last budget.

“Abeja does not believe in isolating The Park,” Guacamayo says the source told her. But her resistance may prove futile because, according to the source, Kuttu has begun a search for a new PFO head who will follow her orders.

If these rumours are true, this will be the first time in Park history that a Chief Archon has interfered with a budget prior to its release. It’s been customary for the PFO head to prepare a budget and then for the Archons en masse to approve it, to request changes, or to send it back.

According to Park historian and professor Beatrice Zilonis, this action, if true, is unprecedented. And dangerous.

“We have never seen so much direct contact with the PFO head prior to a budget,” she told The Mammalian Daily.

Zilonis says that while there has always been some tension between the PFO head and the Archons, the Archons have never given direct orders to the PFO.

“It’s unheard of,” she said. “Since it’s the Archons who’ve appointed the PFO head, they’ve usually been on the same page. The budget has always been tweaked, either because of the Archons’ desires or the citizens’, but never at this stage. If this is true, this constitutes overreach on the part of the Archons, in my opinion,” she said.

Budget 2017: A year when words might speak louder than numbers

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Since presenting her 2017 Budget yesterday morning, Park Finance Office head Valentina Abeja has embarked on a media tour that will see her visit most of The Park’s radio and television stations in the coming weeks.

This will be the first time that a Budget Chief has taken to the airwaves to discuss the financial decisions she’s made on our behalf. Yet, this year, it may be entirely appropriate, since the words in the budget say far more about Abeja’s intent than the numbers do.

One example of that is an expense category that has seen not only a three percent increase over last year, but a name change, as well. “Refugee Support” is now listed as “Refugee Aid,” and that’s a change that, not surprisingly, The Park’s refugee aid groups are welcoming.

“We were thrilled to see the change in the name. It signals a real shift in the way the PFO is thinking about helping these Animals, going from indirect support to direct aid,” said Inez Gallina, president of Home to Roost, one of many groups that assist refugees and new immigrants.

The Mammalian Daily’s full analysis of the budget will be published next week.

2017 Park Budget

Coalition calls emergency meeting at Cackling Goose to discuss budget

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Cackling Goose TavernBREAKING NEWS

A coalition of groups whose interests range from weather, food production, education, and healthcare to business and technology has called an emergency meeting tonight at The Cackling Goose Tavern to discuss key elements of The Park’s upcoming budget.

The coalition’s members hail from a number of the Park’s citizen aid and action associations, as well as from other alliances and federations. The Park’s technology companies, including SINCAP Technologies, GVC De-Tech, DoftTek, S.A, and RhinoTech, also form part of the coalition.

According to a communication obtained by The Mammalian Daily, the purpose of the meeting is to begin the process of making a joint proposal to PFO head Valentina Abeja for increased funding for weather purchases, food production, education, and business support. The 2016 budget allocated a total of thirty-three percent of the budget for the above and the coalition believes this funding is insufficient.

Some of the groups that make up the coalition are:

Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF)
Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park (WMPSAP)
Produce for Progress
Keep Your Paws Out of Our Ponds
Spotted Skunk Sedan Patrol
Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS)
Sisters and Brothers of the Narrow Band
Skunks Against Gunk
Park Education Working Collective  (PEWC)
Park Citizens for Education (PCFE)

Mark your calendars: August 17 is budget day in The Park

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Aug 17The Park Finance Office will present its 2017 budget in August, it was announced this morning.[pullquote]Now she has to show us what she’s got in terms of the future of The Park and understanding the situation we’ve found ourselves in.”—Xavier Dingo, chief financial analyst, A. Corn and Partners.[/pullquote]

At a short press conference held outside her office, PFO head Valentina Abeja confirmed she would present her second—and possibly last—budget at 11:00 on August 17.

The PFO head, who is now in the last year of her two-year mandate, has garnered much less attention—and controversy–than the previous head, Milton Struts. Still, many believe that this budget is a crucial one for her, if she wishes to remain in the position.

While Abeja has been more popular than Struts, who was criticized and ultimately ousted for taking food from Humans and renting out Park farmland to them, many considered her first budget to be too conservative and less forward-looking than they’d expected.

“She got a pass on the last budget, because it was better thought-out and we’d been without a budget for over a year. She was also better behaved than Struts was at the end, and that counted for a lot. But now she has to show us what she’s got in terms of the future of The Park and understanding the situation we’ve found ourselves in,” says Xavier Dingo, chief financial analyst at A. Corn and Partners.

Others agree.

“I think her honeymoon is all but over,” said one analyst who wished to remain anonymous.

Dingo, who knew Abeja from her days as an analyst at The Park’s All Species Credit and Commercial Bank (ASCCB), says she’s “highly qualified, competent, and conscientious.”

But, he says, she has one glaring weakness: “She’s is short on the ability to delegate.”

DWBS to Archons, PFO: Increase aid to immigrants, domestication survivors

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Animal Aid RaccoonAs Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM) draws to a close, the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) has embarked on a new campaign to encourage the Archons and the Park Finance Office to allocate more funding to aid immigrants and the survivors of domestication.

In an open letter to the Archons and to PFO head Valentina Abeja, the DWBS cited alarming statistics that suggest that The Park may soon be home to many tens of thousands of Animals who have either escaped enforced domestication or found themselves homeless after the closing of a number of Human-run zoological parks.

“It is imperative that we prepare for this incoming wave of desperate Animals. It is our duty to ensure their safety and security,” the letter states.

The DWBS says there is plenty of time to increase funding for aid, since the 2017 budget likely will not be finalized until late August.

While not openly criticizing Abeja for her first budget, the DWBS suggested the PFO head take a “deeper and broader” look at The Park’s population and at circumstances outside The Park.

“Last year’s budget allocated a mere four percent to immigration and refugee support. This was, at the very least, somewhat naïve and short-sighted,” the letter says.

The DWBS has acknowledged the upcoming meeting of the Archons and the PFO head, which is scheduled for next Wednesday.

“It is our hope that this item will be first on their agenda,” DWBS Director of Public Relations Cornelius Kakapo told The Mammalian Daily.

Central Bank issues annual reminder to Park’s estivators

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Central Bank of The Park

Pre-estivation deposits must be made by June 28

The Central Bank of The Park issued its annual reminder today, telling all Park residents who intend to estivate this Summer that they should make the final deposits to their accounts by June 28.

According to a Central Bank spokesAnimal, many Park banks have reported that deposits are down from this time last year. Animals may be waiting until the last minute to make their pre-estivation deposits in the hope that interest rates will rise, he says. But that is unlikely to happen.

“The Park Finance Office has been keeping an eye on pre-dormancy and dormancy interest rates for the past year and banks now appear to be towing the line,” he said.

Still, the Central Bank advises estivators to be vigilant and not believe advertisements for artificially high interest rates. If it looks to good to be true, the Bank says, it probably is.

Uzoma Serval, author of BankWoe, agrees.

“There is a painful downside to these extremely high rates,” Serval says. “When the dormancy period ends for these Animals, they find they are not at liberty to withdraw their funds as they wish. They discover they’ve signed away that right, without even knowing it. And their interest rate quickly plummets ten percent or more.”

Estivation officially begins on Wednesday, June 29. The Central Bank of The Park will be closed on Thursday, June 30 for its mid-year tally.

Budget 2016: Analysis and commentary

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Since their unveiling on Tuesday afternoon, The 2016 Park Expense Projections have been met with an enthusiasm not seen in the past few years. Many citizens have praised PFO head Valentina Abeja for presenting a “thoughtful” budget, while others, who may have had unrealistic expectations, have said they’re satisfied, if not outright pleased.

The Mammalian Daily had the opportunity to speak with Abeja after her Tuesday afternoon press conference. Since then, our financial, social, health, weather, and education experts have pored over the figures. We present here a point form scoring, as well as analysis and commentary:

budget 2016

  • Overall Score: 7
  • Business Support: 7
  • Research Support: 7
  • Healthcare: 4
  • Immigration and Refugee Support: 4
  • Safety and Security: 4
  • Education: 8
  • Quality of Park Life: 8
  • Environmental Impact: 10
  • Look to the Future: 10

It was a difficult budget to score fairly since, to Abeja’s credit, it took into consideration many important items for which, in the past, expenditures have not been allocated.

The Mammalian Daily gave a score of seven to items such as support for business and for research. This may seem harsh because, heretofore, there has been no budget allocation for either. We are mindful, as well, that funds are limited and we have high praise for Abeja for setting aside any funds at all. Within that framework, then, a score of seven should be seen as an overwhelmingly positive one.

Abeja said on Thursday that scrapping budget funds for tourism was high on her list and that she met with little opposition to the idea. We agree completely with this decision. Those funds have found their way into other areas that will surely benefit Park citizens more than tourism ever can.

We were alarmed at the reduction in funds for healthcare. No longer a big ticket item, Abeja has designated only eight percent of the budget for what is now termed “health and well-being.” This is an eleven percent reduction from the 2014 budget. Abeja explained that some of the healthcare funds have been re-allocated to the areas of research, food production, weather, water, and business support. After extensive consultation with health professionals and with The Park’s food and weather makers, Abeja said she decided that spending now on items that will prevent illness in the future was the best route to take. The wisdom of that decision remains to be seen, but with a constantly growing population, we are somewhat skeptical and, therefore, gave the budget a score of four for healthcare.

We were puzzled, as well, at the two percent reduction in funds for immigrant and refugee support. Abeja pointed out to us that she had doubled the funds for education, which she believed would relieve some of the burden on I and R services. She also claimed that support for Park businesses would help new Park residents support themselves financially. Once again, that remains to be seen, but since some immigration services, such as the Extinction Anxiety Clinic, receive healthcare funding, we are dismayed at the reduction of both. We, therefore, gave the budget a score of four for immigrant and refugee support.

Most notable to some in The Park was the reduction in security funding. While the 2014 budget allocated a full twenty-three percent, Abeja has reduced this to fifteen percent. Many feel she has taken a big chance by making this move. Abeja seems to be counting on her spending in other areas, such as education, arts funding, and special events, to produce peace in The Park. Recent statistics have proven, however, that certain kinds of tensions are escalating and we question whether Stereotype Sundays will be enough to keep them at bay. As well, we believe the reduction will likely over-burden volunteer peacekeepers such as the Doves and Does of Peace. For this reason, we gave the budget a score of four for safety and security.

On its own, the doubling of funds for education seems a wonderful and timely idea. While we gave the budget a score of eight for education, we remain cognizant that some of that funding came from areas that should not have seen their funds shrink. The results of this re-allocation remain to be seen.

Abeja adjusted the figures for arts and sports funding this year, equalizing them at four percent and allocating six percent for special events. We cannot quibble with this and, therefore, gave the budget a score of eight in this area for overall quality of life in The Park.

In terms of environmental impact, this budget works very well. By allocating funds directly to weather, groundskeeping, water, research, and food production, Abeja has managed to use over a third of the budget to ensure The Park’s environmental health and longevity. For this, coupled with the de-funding of tourism, which had a detrimental effect on our environment, we offer high praise and a score of ten.

Finally, whether all the changes that come with the 2016 budget work in the long run, Abeja has made every effort to ensure that this a forward-looking budget and for this reason, we have given it a score of ten in this regard. She has supported research and the environment and looked to secure a future in The Park for our citizens and residents. For this we commend Abeja and her team at the Park Finance Office.

Budget preview: “The budget is a very hard needle to thread.”

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2016 Budget

Today is Budget Day in The Park

Will she or won’t she? And, will she or won’t she what?[pullquote]The  budget is a very hard needle to thread. Agreement on the allocation of funds can never be one hundred per cent. My own hope is that PFO head Valentina Abeja will learn from the past, but look to the future.—Magnus P. Marmoset, holder of the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy at the University of West Terrier[/pullquote]

Those are just a couple of the questions on the minds of all engaged Park citizens, as we await the presentation of the Park Expense Projections for 2016 (The Park Finance Office’s formal name for the budget).

PFO head Valentina Abeja will present the budget to the Archons at four o’clock this afternoon and she has scheduled a press conference immediately following the presentation.

This will be Abeja’s first budget and many financial, social, and health experts have weighed in on what they believe should be included in the budget. The Mammalian Daily recently spoke to some of them about their hopes now that budget day is here. Below are their responses (Please note: responses have been edited due to space limitations):

Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations, Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations: “I’m hoping for at least the same level of support that we’ve had in the past. Our celebrations are a fundamental part of Park life.”

Wellington Whistlepig, president, Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS): “It may be too much to hope for, but we could use some official support, even one percent of the budget. We’ve been supporting The Park through tough times for years and an acknowledgement of that fact would go a long way.”

Kalliope Sun Bear, president, Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park (WMPSAP): “We made a number of presentations to the new PFO head and we felt she was receptive to what we were saying. I have every confidence that she will abide by some of our suggestions—in particular, that the Weather Office purchase weather produced by Park manufacturers.”

A.P. Civet, president, Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF): “We’ve found the new PFO head to be quite thoughtful and willing to listen. I believe she understands our situation better than those who’ve held her job previously. Food production is fundamental to our life here. We are quite optimistic about the new budget.”

Hermione Hippo, head nurse, Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, assistant professor, UWT School of Medicine: “For the last while, ‘health’ has been subsumed under the category of  ‘residents’ requirements’ and, as a result, I don’t believe it has been properly supported. Health issues—physical, mental and emotional—are a big part of our lives here and require not only treatment and support, but research funding. I hope the new PFO head understands that.”

Inez Gallina, president of the refugee aid group Home to Roost: “Apart from our autochthonous citizens, The Park’s population has historically been made up of immigrants and refugees. With our open immigration policy, the funding requirements grow every year. I hope Valentina Abeja fully understands that fact and respects the work of all of us in immigrant and refugee aid. I realize that funds are limited, but we cannot in all conscience or practicality invite Animals to make The Park their home if we offer them no assistance.”

Gareth Shepherd, president, Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW): “Security has become more of an issue the past few years and while we have always supplemented a paid force with volunteers such as the Doves—and now Does— of Peace, we still require more of the budget than we have been receiving. I hope the new PFO head values peace and security as much as other Park citizens do.”

Magnus P. Marmoset, holder of the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy at the University of West Terrier: “The  budget is a very hard needle to thread. Agreement on the allocation of funds can never be one hundred per cent. We all have different hopes and dreams and priorities. My own hope is that PFO head Valentina Abeja will learn from the past, but look to the future.”

Majority of new Park jobs are in field of security, law: Department of Statistics

By

Clam Security Guard

The majority of new Park jobs are in security and law, statistics say

The majority of The Park’s newly-created jobs lie in the fields of security and law, says a new report released today by the Department of Statistics and Records.[pullquote]These types of service jobs–parapolicing, for example—are creating a false impression that life in The Park is dangerous. That impression could become a destabilizing force and…lead to the need for these jobs.—Dr. Anneliese Cissa, Livingstone School of Economics and Social Science, UWT[/pullquote]

The report, which is known as, “Statistics Related to Job Creation in The Park: 2014,” is the latest in a series of reports that have been commissioned annually since 2007 by the sitting Archons.

The state of employment as depicted in the report is troubling in many ways, says Dr. Anneliese Cissa, head of the Livingstone School of Economics and Social Science at the University of West Terrier. Dr. Cissa, who has written extensively about the Park’s economy and its effect on employment, says this latest report shows concrete evidence that we are “spinning” in terms of high level job creation.

“This report shows that The Park is not just failing to generate new, high level jobs; it is still creating too high a number of service jobs. But even more than that, these types of service jobs–parapolicing, for example—are creating a false impression that life in The Park is dangerous. That impression could become a destabilizing force and could, in turn, lead to the need for these jobs,” she says.

According to Dr. Cissa, nothing has changed significantly since she wrote the report, “Seeking Greener Pastures: The Exodus of the Unwilling and Able,” in 2012. At that time, she warned that The Park was not generating sufficient jobs to keep the skilled and most diligent among us from leaving to seek employment elsewhere. Now, she says, the situation has become even more dire.

“We must allocate funds in the new budget for high level job creation. Otherwise, we will have nothing of substance to offer our young.”

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