Park Life – Page 148

Skunk’s candidacy raises stink at POPS debate

November 7, 2011 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

POPS candidate Zachariah Skunk

Zachariah Skunk caused a stink last night when he took his place among the other candidates at the annual POPS all-candidates’ debate.

Because he announced his candidacy for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) at the last minute, The Park’s Election Office had not had the opportunity to inform the other four contenders, who stood in amazement as the Skunk’s name was called.

“This is an outrage,” said Malinda L. Hamster, President of the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC).

The Hamster did not elaborate, leaving spectators to wonder whether the “outrage” was the Skunk’s last-minute candidacy or his species.

According to rules that were put in place in 23 AZ (2003), subsequent to a the decision of Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in the landmark case of “Spring’s Unsprung Heroes” vs the descendants of E. Bromley Groundhog, all species of Animals are eligible to enter the race to become Park Official Prognosticator of Spring. To date, however, only Animals belonging to the species Marmota monax have put their names forward.

The POPS election occurs today, ten days before the official date of hibernation. Aside from Zachariah Skunk, candidates for 2012 POPs are W. Chester Whistlepig, Alderina Woodchuck, Ingersoll Marmot, and Ulrica Gilda Groundhog.

UWT commissions institutional biography

November 4, 2011 By Nienke Varken, TMD Education Reporter

The University of West Terrier announced today that it has secured the services of award-winning author, Pieter N. Paard, to write the definitive history of The Park’s oldest institution of higher learning.

In a statement released to all Park media, the President of UWT, Angus Abhag, said that this will be “a no-holds barred, complete history of the institution, from its foundation to the present day.”

The statement also said that UWT hoped all present and past faculty and staff members, as well as the university’s students, friends, and benefactors, would cooperate with Paard and be “completely honest about their experiences at the University of West Terrier.”

Pieter Paard is best known for his book, From Slavery to Freedom: A History of Pack Animals. A five-part television series, based on the book, aired on PBC Television this Autumn.

Small Animal Community releases 2012 Tulip Map

November 3, 2011 By TMD Reporters

In anticipation of the official hibernation date of November 17, the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC), in association with the Confederation of Ground Squirrels (CGS), the Idiosyncratic Hibernators of The Park (IHOP), the Association of Distinct Hibernating Animals of The Park (ADHAP) and the Park Alliance of Chipmunks (PAC), has released its official “2012 Map of Tulip and other Bulb Beds in The Park and Environs.”

The map, which has been one of the highlights of the pre-hibernation season for the past several years, is available for purchase at select stores in The Park.

Third edition of Zoocracy guide hits shelves this week

November 1, 2011 By Éléonore Musaraigne, TMD Book Reviewer

This new guide to our government will prove useful to newcomers and established residents alike.

The third edition of Anticipatory Zoocracy For All, a simple and informative guide to the principles of our form of government, has arrived in bookstores throughout The Park.

This updated edition includes information on the most recent decisions made by the current set of Archons, including those involving calendar harmonization. A separate section on the currency amalgamation debate will prove valuable to newcomers as well as to those who have not followed the debate closely over the last several years.

Several copies of the guide, which sells for 13.50 Ftoo per copy, will be made available in The Park Library, said a spokesAnimal for the publishers, Birch Bark Books. In addition, the publishers have committed to providing copies to the libraries of The Park’s institutions of higher learning.

New survey finds Park Animals fear the extinction of their species

October 29, 2011 By TMD Reporters

A new survey conducted by The Park’s Department of Well-Being and Safety indicates that species extinction is one of Park Animals’ greatest fears.

The fear that their kind will be wiped out within the next few decades topped a list of anxieties that included, among other problems, Small Ball Fever, Human encroachment on The Park, flood, famine, and loss of distinctive markings.

The Mammalian Daily plans a full investigation of the findings in the coming weeks.

Quiz week continues!

October 25, 2011 By TMD Reporters

Jor, The Park’s first leader, strongly believed that education would bring security and prosperity to The Park. Take our quiz and find out what you know about Park educational institutions.

Educational Institutions in The Park Quiz

How much do you know about Park life?

October 21, 2011 By TMD Reporters

It’s quiz week at The Mammalian Daily! Try today’s quick quiz and find out how much you know about commercial life in The Park:

Commercial Life in The Park

Take our quiz!

October 19, 2011 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

A new survey indicates that 37% of Park Animals do not know how their government works.

Click on the Archons at the left to take our quiz and see how much you know!

Park Post office unveils historical stamps

October 7, 2011 By TMD Reporters

The Park Post Office has unveiled its new set of historical stamps. The stamps will go on sale on November 1 and will be available at the Post Office building as well as at selected retailers throughout The Park.