Top Secret documents leaked to The Mammalian Daily reveal that members of The Park’s Finance Office enlisted the aid of researchers at the University of West Terrier in an attempt to engineer a social experiment in The Park.
The documents, which the newspaper has had in its possession for two weeks, reveal that in the summer of 26 AZ (2008), high level functionaries in the Park Finance Office (PFO) approached researchers in the departments of chemistry and zoology at UWT to produce a serum that would inhibit hibernation and estivation.
The goal of the Finance Office’s plan, which was known internally as “Operation Wakey-Wakey,” was to stimulate the sagging Park economy by “chemically encouraging” the entire population to engage in commerce year-round.
The plan went awry when a number of groups representing hibernators began to suspect that they were being scapeGoated. In late Autumn 26 AZ (2008), the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) filed a formal complaint against the Finance Office for repeatedly referring to the economic slowdown as “hibernation-related.”
Fearing that publicity regarding the complaint would shed light on their plan, the PFO suspended Operation Wakey-Wakey early in the Winter of 27 AZ (2009). The documents suggest, however, that several versions of the serum were developed at UWT during the time the Operation was active, but it is unknown whether any serum was ever tested on live Animals.
Neither the University of West Terrier nor The Park’s Finance Office has released any statement regarding this matter.







Amid protests from a number of Animal groups, Park officials kicked off their “Wee Paws” census campaign today, in the hope of persuading Animals to “count themselves in” and help Park Archons obtain an accurate reckoning of residents in The Park.
Forensic experts were on the scene within minutes after the discovery early Saturday morning of the scattered remains of the Tartan Crab.
Never underestimate the power of a flower.


