BREAKING NEWS

Park Police confirmed today that they are investigating a possible connection between the September abduction of Harmonious Hannah and the 2004 murder of the Tartan Crab.

At a press conference held this morning, Chief Inspector Martin of the Murder Investigations Unit said the two crimes bear similarities that have led police to suspect a connection.

“Without going into too much detail, I can confirm that certain aspects of these cases have led us to believe there is a connection between the two crimes,” he said.

The Inspector, who has worked on the Tartan Crab murder case from the beginning, said he always felt police would be able to solve the mysterious death.

“Many in The Park consider it [the Tartan Crab case] to be a cold case, but I can tell you that police have never treated it that way. It is an open investigation to this day,” he said.

But the recovery of Harmonious Hannah, Martin says, has yielded more information than police have had access to in the last five years.

The oversized stuff toy is one half of the “harmonious pair” used by the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) to foster interspecial harmony among youth. She went missing in September after working a particularly difficult Stereotype Sunday and was recovered from a dumpster on November 20.

Martin said that Hannah had undergone extensive testing at the Park Police’s crime laboratory and although he offered no details as to the results, he confirmed that police had gleaned “very valuable” information from them.

Hannah remains in police custody “for the time being,” Martin said, but she will be released to the DWBS as soon as possible.