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Archives for June 2014

It Could Happen to You: Park Museum exhibits tools of enforced domestication

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Museum display

Park Museum exhibits some of the  tools of enforced domestication

Review: “It Could Happen to You” at the Park Museum June 1-30, 2014

Balls, biscuits, bones. Bowls, boxes, beds. Collars, cages, leashes, toys. The list goes on. And they are all on display until midnight tomorrow at The Park Museum’s month-long exhibit marking Enforced Domestication Awareness Month.

Entitled, “It Could Happen to You,” the exhibit is the first of its kind in The Park and the first ever hosted at The Park Museum.

“We felt it was too important an event to wait for the museum’s completion,” says Sukuta Rhinoceros, as she guides me through the display cases. “We didn’t want to miss the opportunity to highlight this issue.”

One of the museum’s founders and a member of its Board of Governors, Rhinoceros spearheaded the campaign to open part of the main building’s ground floor wing for the exhibit. But come July, the construction workers will be back and if all goes well, the museum will officially open at the end of the year.

We stroll through the space together and as she details the provenance of many of the artefacts, it becomes clear that this is a deeply personal issue for Rhinoceros.

“Enforced domestication isn’t only a problem for small Animals,” she tells me later. “We were overwhelmed after we put out a call for personal items [of domestication] and I wasn’t surprised to find that the majority came from our Canine, Feline, Avian, Piscine, and Reptilian communities. But when some of our other citizens offered traps, harnesses, saddles and the like, our curator said we should put them at the front of the exhibit, so that attendees could see right away that no Animal is out of the sight line of the domesticator.”

The issue of domestication, of course, is much bigger than any museum exhibit can communicate. But “It Could Happen to You” is at its most poignant and effective when it deals with the tools that are used to entice Animals to give up their independence. The sadness and the pain lie in understanding the attraction of those tools. So many of our compatriots have suffered extreme difficulty and it is not hard to imagine succumbing to the promise of a nice meal, a warm bed, and some physical comfort.

If this exhibit accomplishes anything, let that be to remind us that we are responsible for each other and that we must work diligently to make it impossible for our fellow citizens to be tempted away from their lives in The Park.

“It Could Happen to You.”
The Park Museum
June 1-30, 2014 (10:00 a.m.-10:00 p.m daily.; until 11:59 p.m. on June 30)

Central Bank reminder: June 28 last day to make pre-estivation deposits

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Central Bank of The Park

Pre-estivation deposits must be made by June 28

The Central Bank of The Park has issued a reminder to all Park residents who intend to estivate this Summer: June 28 is the last day that deposits can be made.

A spokesAnimal for the Bank also advised Animals who are still seeking a place to park their funds during the dormancy period that they should be vigilant and “not believe in artificially high interest rates.”

“Remember the concept of ‘enough’ when researching [interest] rates. Remember, if something looks too good to be true, it may very well be,” said the SpokesAnimal.

Many of The Park’s financial institutions offer substantially higher interest rates to hibernators and estivators. But there is a catch, says Uzoma Serval, author of BankWoe.

“When the dormancy period ends for these Animals, they find they are not at liberty to withdraw their funds as they wish. They find they’ve signed away that right, without even knowing it. And their interest rate quickly plummets ten percent or more,” Serval says.

Estivation officially begins on Sunday, June 29. The Central Bank of The Park will be closed on Monday, June 30 for the mid-year tally.

Effects of enforced domestication often felt for generations, experts conclude

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Cat family

Offspring often feel the effects of their parents’ domestication, experts say

MAMMALIAN DAILY EXCLUSIVE

The effects of enforced domestication are often felt several generations down the road, say experts who participated in a panel discussion yesterday at the University of West Terrier’s Medical College.

Entitled “Acquired Misery: The Effects of Enforced Domestication on the Offspring of Survivors,” the event marked the first time that such a group has gathered to share their knowledge of the after-effects of enforced domestication and the toll it takes on Animal families.

Panel members included psychotherapist Dr. Berthilidis Strix, author of Shaken But Not Stirred and co-author of The Silent Cluck, Dr. Gudrun L. Gibbon, a Park psychotherapist and staff member at the Extinction Anxiety Clinic, psychoanalyst Dr. Elinore E. Owl, UWT researcher Dr. Chloris Cougar, known for her work in the area of Feline Unipolar Depressive Disorder (FUDD), and Dr. Simon Crow, director of Avian Medicine at UWT. The panel also included representatives of The Park’s many aid groups, including Home to Roost, Runaway Rovers, and the Tortoise Immigrant Aid and Mentor Programme.

The panel’s honorary guest participant was novelist Hercule Parrot, winner of a 2012 Chitter Radio Literary Award and part-time mentor at BirdBrains, The Park’s first Avian mentoring programme. A domestication survivor himself, Parrot gave a very moving speech at the concluding ceremonies at last year’s Enforced Domestication Awareness Month.

Yesterday’s full-day discussion centred on the psychological and physical effects of enforced domestication on the offspring of survivors.

“This is an area that has rarely been discussed openly, but we see the effects of it every day,” said Angus Deerhound, a representative of Runaway Rovers, an aid group that assists formerly domestic Canines.

“These Canines make a life for themselves in The Park and then they respond to messages that they should reproduce…[they are told] that they can make better lives for their offspring and, somehow, right a wrong. But they can’t do that without our help. They end up just making another wrong,” Deerhound said.

Statistics presented by the UWT’s Medical College, the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, and the Extinction Anxiety Clinic underscored the need for a plan of action to help those born to domestication survivors.

“When more than half of these Animals end up with some kind of anxiety disorder, some of them with debilitating ones, we cannot afford to look the other way. We must recognize the gravity of the situation,” said Inez Gallina, president of Home to Roost.

Cynics donate “Diamond in the Ruff” to Enforced Domestication Awareness

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eatyourfood

“Diamond in the Ruff” donated to Enforced Domestication Awareness

Who would have thought we’d ever see the “softer side” of The Cynics?

Not this critic, who has followed the group’s career for the better part of a decade.

But, last night, at their third ever pop-up event (which the group prefers to call a “pouncer”), the four Canines displayed their unique brand of emotion and sincerity and it literally stunned the already surprised audience.

The short concert, which was held in front of The Park’s new gastropub, The Pound (of which The Cynics are part-owners), included a few of their hits, such as “walk don’t walk,” “eat your food,” and “S.I.T.” Once those were out of the way,  Luther “Droop” Dachshund, the group’s founder and lead singer, took the microphone to speak.

“We’ve been fighting enforced domestication for years, but there hasn’t been much movement on the issue until recently,” he said. “We want to do as much as we can to further awareness of domestication’s harsh reality and, to that end, we are donating all proceeds from our newest song to the cause of enforced domestication awareness.”

The reaction was predictably loud and after the cheers had died down, Dachshund introduced the last item on the day’s song list, a beautiful piece with a haunting melody and the saddest lyrics the Cynics have ever sung.

“Diamond in the Ruff” tells a familiar story: a Dog who’s lost his way and finds himself the chattel of a Human family, shuttled from Dog show to Dog show, wearing a diamond in his ruff. Fortunately, the Cynics have added a bit of hope at the end, in the form of an open door. We are left to assume the song’s main character runs for his life and, hopefully, finds a better one, perhaps in The Park.

As the concert ended, Dachshund confirmed the song’s official release date (June 28th) and thanked the crowd. With that, the group exited the scene, leaving a trail of tears and some hope for the future.

PASS calls for public inquiry into stampede at grooming house

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tallulahstoilettage

PASS has called for a public inquiry into the grooming house stampede

The Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS) has called for a public inquiry into the stampede that occurred at Tallulah’s Toilettage on May 31.

At a meeting held on Saturday June 14, members of the Association voted unanimously to recommend to the Archons that they institute a “full, free, and public investigation into the events that took place at Tallulah’s Toilettage on May 31.”[pullquote]We want Animals to realize that the security of the business community is at stake here.  – PASS president Wellington Whistlepig[/pullquote]

The Association also agreed that such a public investigation should seek input from Park Police, the Department of Well-Being and Safety and the Department of Holidays Festivals, and Celebrations, as well as from Animals resident in The Park.

“We wrote our recommendation in the strongest language possible, short of making it an outright demand,” said current PASS president Wellington Whistlepig at a media briefing this afternoon. 

“We want Animals to realize that the security of the business community is at stake here,” he said.

“Phoebic Verses” odds-on favourite to win at Chitter Radio Literary Awards

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Phoebic Verses

“Phoebic Verses” may win three literary prizes June 15

“Phoebic Verses,” The Park’s runaway best seller, could net its author a total of three prizes at tomorrow’s Chitter Radio Literary Awards.

“This is the first time a book of poetry has been entered in more than one category and we are elated,” says Kezban Aslan, manager of Kynikos Press, the book’s publisher.

In fact, the book itself has been nominated in only two categories; the third nomination is for the poet: 2014 breakout star, Phoebe, has a good chance of becoming this year’s Most Promising Newcomer.

But that is not what makes this year’s Awards extraordinary, according to the organizers. What does make it extraordinary is that a book of poetry has been nominated in the humour category.

“This is the the first time in our 19-year history that a book of poetry has received a nomination in the humour category,” said a spokesAnimal for the Awards.

According to Aslan, the book’s humour was one of the reasons Kynikos Press decided to publish it.

“We thought Phoebe’s poems offered a unique take on things and we wanted The Park’s readers to be able to experience it,” he said.

The book, which includes the poem, “Two Bones” has had a “wild ride,” since its publication in February, the publisher says.

“This is the year of Domestic Canine poetry and we’ve been riding that wave quite nicely,” Aslan said.

Police confirm officer among those injured in grooming house stampede

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Stampede at Grooming House

One Park Police officer was injured at the grooming house stampede on May 31

BREAKING NEWS

Park Police confirmed today that one of their own was among the injured in the grooming house stampede on May 31.

At a press briefing outside their headquarters, a Police spokesAnimal confirmed reports that an officer had been taken to hospital after being attacked inside Tallulah’s Toilettage. The officer’s name was not released.

Gareth Shepherd, President of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW), also attended the briefing. He said the officer was unarmed when he entered the grooming house.

“He was one of the first to respond at the scene. He called for reinforcements but, for him, it was too late. He was attacked…allegedly by a mob of disgruntled grooming house patrons,” Shepherd said.

The stampede led to the arrest of 35 Animals, most of whom are believed to be regular customers of the grooming house. Of the Animals arrested, 32 were charged with at least one offence. Those charges included mischief, unprovoked violence, injury to the body of a Police officer, inciting a riot, and the overtaking of a common grooming house for other purposes. All 32 Animals are awaiting court dates.

Meanwhile, The Park’s business community has called a meeting for Saturday, June 14 to discuss plans to draft what Wellington Whistlepig, president of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS), calls a “battle plan.”

Though he would reveal no specific details, Whistlepig said the meeting had already been scheduled when the stampede occurred.

“We had already seen that things were changing in The Park and we acknowledged that, as a group, we’d have to be prepared,” he said.

Feline Fiction Fest to honour Nestor

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Nestor B&W

The 2014 Feline Fiction Fest will honour the late Nestor P. Cat

Domestic Canine poetry may be all the rage these days, but the Feline Fiction Fest intends to honour one of its own this year: the late, great Park poet and renowned scientist, Nestor P. Cat.

In a statement released today, principal organizer Corazón Oncilla confirmed that the festival has planned an elaborate tribute to the much-beloved Park citizen.

The tribute, which will take place the evening of June 17th, will include a dinner, a reading of some of Nestor’s poetic works, a short film about his life, and the introduction of a poetry prize in his name to be awarded annually, starting with next year’s festival.

“Nestor was a very important Cat, not just in the world of poetry and science, but as a citizen of The Park. We are privileged to have the opportunity to honour him in this way,” Oncilla said.

Tickets for the tribute may be purchased at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre until June 17th.

The 16th annual Feline Fiction Fest will take place June 16-18.

Two years on, striped and spotted Animals see little economic progress

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PFO figures released

New PFO figures show few changes for striped and spotted Animals

Two years ago, economic figures released by the Park Finance Office confirmed definitively that The Park’s striped and spotted Animals were having a more difficult time finding full-time employment than those who had coats of solid or mixed colours. Now, after the release of the PFO’s latest report, it appears that little has changed.

The statistics, which are known colloquially as the “Employment and Enjoyment Stats,” are collected annually by The Park’s Departments of Statistics and Records, Well-Being and Safety, and Employment and Economic Opportunity. They are used by the Finance Office and the governing Archons to aid them in assessing the Park’s social and economic progress. The reaction to today’s release was anger from a number of The Park’s citizen groups.

“This is an outrage,” said Aiofe Badger in a radio interview this morning. Badger, who is President of Sisters and Brothers of the Narrow Band is a vocal advocate of equal rights in The Park. His group is now calling for a full study of the situation, including a plan for its resolution.

“We knew things were bad, but we let ourselves believe we were making progress. Obviously, we were mistaken,” he said.

Keeva Moffatt, President of The Park’s Spotted Skunk Sedan Patrol, says she supports a full inquiry, but she also questions the accuracy of the figures.

“I actually think things are worse and, if I may say, worse even for the spotted than for the striped,” she says.

Former Chief Archon Dewi Rhinoceros, current Chair of the Board of Directors of the Centre for Interspecial Harmony, said she wasn’t surprised by the figures.

“Clearly, we haven’t done nearly enough,” she says. “‘Stereotype Sundays’ and the establishment of the Centre are only a beginning. We have to dig deeper to find the roots of this prejudice [against the striped and spotted] and figure out why it persists. That is our only hope,” she says.

See also:
Striped Animals not getting fair share of economic pie: study
“Stereotype Sundays” aim to foster harmony among species
Centre for Interspecial Harmony opens

Commencement address links lack of education to enforced domestication

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UWT Coat of Arms

Catriona Cairn-Terrier gave the UWT commencement address

It has become so commonplace for the University of West Terrier’s annual commencement address to spark controversy that one might view it as a deliberate attempt to invent some kind of tradition.

Whether or not that is the case (and only time will tell), the 2014 commencement address given by Catriona Cairn-Terrier did not disappoint, at least in that sense.

Cairn-Terrier, who is listed among the “distinguished alumni” on UWT’s web site, used her position as Chief Archaeologist at the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life (ISML) to make a strong statement in favour of higher education for all Animals.

Her opening remarks of congratulations to the graduating class introduced the somewhat unpopular idea that Park Animals might be more vulnerable to the idea of domestication, “if it appeared to them that the lives ahead of them were going to be difficult.”

Cairn-Terrier spoke in hushed tones about domestication, referring to it more than once as “slavery” and “the kind of life that looks appealing but [that] leads to misery and hopelessness and is, above all, wholly unnatural.”

Despite audible gasps from those in attendance, Cairn-Terrier continued in that vein for some time, extolling the virtues of institutional education to the point where some said they felt slighted by her and her interpretation of their lives. A few, who exited the ceremonies early, complained that the speech was not appropriate for the occasion.

“She may have had some good points and she may be onto something, but I didn’t appreciate being painted the way she painted me,” said Annabelle Kanga, whose daughter Juanita was in the 2014 graduating class.

“Of course I wanted to give her [Juanita] more opportunities than I had, but that doesn’t make me lesser or even more vulnerable to domestication. I think she should have kept those ideas to herself today and if she wanted to promote education, she should have just done that,” Kanga said.

Those who were more accepting of the speech said they weren’t surprised or put off by what Cairn-Terrier said.

“After all, June is Enforced Domestication Awareness Month,” said one attendee.

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