The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

“The Park Before YOU:” Zoocracy 35 mega project aims to inspire youth with a year-long romp through Park history

By

zoocracy-35What began as a casual conversation between two University of West Terrier professors has grown into a mega project that they hope will arouse curiosity in young Animals about The Park’s past and inspire them to think more deeply about their own rôle in its future.

Called “The Park Before YOU,” the project is the brainchild of historian Beatrice Zilonis and Domoina Fossa of the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education. The multi-faceted, multimedia project was developed with funding from the Archons’ Zoocracy 35 Grant Program.

Using audio, video, live theatre, stand-up comedy, and even a half-hour original musical, the project will trace life in The Park from its very beginnings to the present day.

“We want this to be a rich, multidimensional experience for the young,” Zilonis said in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this morning. “We want to pique their interest and nudge them in the direction of curiosity, instead of herding them into a classroom to hear a lecture on the wonder of Animal self-rule.”

Although the project had its impetus in that casual conversation more than a year ago, the idea had been brewing in the minds of both professors, after results of several studies indicated that The Park’s young lacked historical perspective and weren’t very interested in zoocracy or politics.

“Delia Quagga [head of the UWT Barnaby School of Government] did a study that showed Park citizens are not as politically savvy as in previous decades and we both thought we wanted to nip that in the bud,” Zilonis said in her radio interview. “The last thing we want is for that lack of interest to be passed down to the next generation.”

The Park Before YOU will run an entire year and talks about a permanent installation are underway with both The Park Museum and the University of West Terrier, Zilonis said.

Tomorrow night will mark the project’s beginning, with the screening at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre of a series of animated short films about Animal self-rule.

Travel ban will hurt our students, art school director tells Archons

By

Hani Gajah School of ArtThe director of the Hani Gajah School of Art has made a heartfelt plea to the Archons: don’t restrict Animals’ travel outside The Park.

In an open letter published across Park media, Nolwazi Indlovu pleads her case for students’ “unrestricted exposure to the wider world,” while addressing the Archons’ reported concerns about safety.

“We at The Park’s premier centre of artistic education share your concern for the safety of all Park Animals. From the beginning, we have put our students’ safety first, yet we have designed curricula that require them to spend time outside The Park. We believe that the value of their enrichment through unrestricted exposure to the wider world outweighs any risk that might be involved,” the letter reads in part.

The letter is a response to the February rumour that the Archons plan to restrict Animal’s travel due to the inability of our legal representatives to aid Animals who have been charged or detained outside The Park.

While other Park educational institutions also require their students to spend some time outside The Park, the Hani Gajah School would be more adversely affected by any travel ban, since its four-year programme requires one year of full-time residency outside The Park.

The letter to the Archons was signed by Indlovu as well as by former Hani Gajah instructor and current curator of The Park Museum’s art gallery, Dorika Pumi, Hani Gajah alumni Anastazja Koci and Hanad Maroodiga, and Aamuun Maroodiga, head curator, Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA).

 

Historian and author Pieter N. Paard to speak at Sunday’s UWT Open House

By

UWT COATThe President and Governors of the University of West Terrier have announced that Pieter N. Paard will speak at the University’s annual Open House on January 29, 2017.

Paard, a UWT professor of history, is the author of several books, including From Slavery to Freedom: A History of Pack Animals and, most recently, The Fierce Urgency of Miaow: Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy (February release). Pieter Paard has also appeared on Yannis Tavros’s Toro Talk Radio show and is a member of The Mammalian Daily’s Groundhog Day commentating crew.

Paard will talk about his research on the organic roots of zoocracy and the place of Animal self-rule in the wider world.

Read the university’s full announcement here.

Annual Open House • 29 January 2017
Snacks, beverages, and brochures will be available from 12:00 until 20:30

Noreen to chair UWT forum on effects of Human architecture on other Animals

By

Official NoreenThe President and Governors of the University of West Terrier announced today that Noreen will chair a forum on the effects of Human architecture on the lives of other Animals. The forum, which will be hosted by the UWT School of Architecture, will take place on the university’s campus on October 8 and 9.

The university called the Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human studies the “perfect choice” to chair the discussion because “her abilities as a mediator and as a researcher are exceptional.”

Participants in the forum will include faculty members of the UWT School of Architecture as well as faculty of the Schools of Medicine and Economics and Social Science. In addition, the university has invited community architects and professionals working in the fields of physical and mental health and well-being to share their knowledge and expertise.

Read the university’s full announcement here.

Literacy rates lowest in Park’s feral communities: study

By

FeralLiteracy rates are lowest among members of The Park’s feral communities, according to a study conducted last year at the University of West Terrier.[pullquote]It was one of Jor’s [The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy] core beliefs that we must foster interspecial harmony through knowledge. I think we are failing him at the moment.”—Domoina Fossa, lead researcher, UWT F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education [/pullquote]

The study, which was commissioned by the 2015 Archons and the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) in association with the Park Education Working Collective (PEWC), was conducted by researchers at UWT’s F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education.

The results of the study were published yesterday in the academic quarterly, Journal of Education Theory and Experience (JETE).

“I find these results quite troubling,” head researcher Domoina Fossa said in an interview on TMD Radio this morning. “What they say to me is that not only do we need to work harder to encourage our newest residents to avail themselves of The Park’s educational opportunities, but we have to actively sell the benefits of education to them.”

Fossa, who was the lead researcher in a study five years ago that found the majority of Park Animals were home-schooled, said her new study was a not a follow-up, but a more focused approach to the problem.

“We narrowed our focus by narrowing our field of study and by using a very precise definition of ‘feral,’ she said.

That definition, she told TMD Radio, excluded all moral values and belief systems and used only data related to territory of origin, time spent as a resident in The Park, living conditions, and way of life.

“We deliberately didn’t include time spent with Humans, because we thought that would muddy the waters,” Fossa said. “Many members of our feral communities have known Humans and have used their aid, but it hasn’t changed their way of life.”

Fossa said she expects a “swift and strong” reaction to the study’s results.

“Low literacy rates endanger the principles of zoocracy and interspecial harmony. It was one of Jor’s [The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy] core beliefs that we must foster interspecial harmony through knowledge. I think we are failing him at the moment,” she said.

University of West Terrier announces Commencement Day speaker

By

UWT COATHermione Hippo will deliver the 2016 commencement address at the University of West Terrier on June 1, it was announced today.

The President and Governors of the University made the announcement on the UWT web site this morning.

A spokesAnimal for the university said they were “deeply touched” that Hermione was willing to give of her time to address the school’s graduating students.

“She is a very busy professional and academic and even though she was our first choice for 2016, we realized she may not have the time to prepare a speech. But, true to her nature, Hermione dove in and tackled the job with her usual gusto. We very much look forward to hearing her speak on Wednesday.”

The assistant professor in the UWT School of Medicine and head nurse at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm is expected to speak on the topic of nutrition and mental health.

Read the full announcement, along with a short biography of Hermione Hippo, here.

Have your say! Who should deliver the 2016 UWT commencement address?

By

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier want to hear from you! Which Animal would you choose to deliver the 2016 commencement address?

Make your choice from among the ten candidates listed in the poll below or feel free to write in your own suggestion beside the “Other” box.

Please note: The poll closes May 21, 2016. Vote now!

Stand-alone education advocates use buttons to kick off new campaign

By

STUPIDITY ButtonMr. Justice Augustus Dindon usually keeps to himself, but this weekend we’ll be seeing his image everywhere, if a new pro-education group has its way.

The group, which calls itself “Park Citizens for Stand-Alone Education,” has used the judge’s image and his most recent ruling that all Animals have the right to remain stupid, to kick off their campaign in favour of building stand-alone educational institutions for The Park’s young.

In a statement released this morning, the group says that it’s high time the Archons faced the truth about education in The Park.

“We’ve been talking around this issue for some time and nothing has been done to improve the quality of education here [in The Park]. We are taking the issue to Park citizens, to the Archons and to the budget committee and Park Finance Officer Abeja. We need to provide quality education for our young in a separate environment from their home and we need to see to it immediately,” says the statement, which was written by Domoina Fossa, the group’s head.

Fossa has some experience in this area. As a professor at the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education at the University of West Terrier and the head researcher of a study commissioned by the 2011 Archons, she concluded that the majority of Park Animals were home-schooled and that “this type of system does not work in a modern Park, with so many species trying to live together harmoniously.”

Fossa says she still stands by that opinion.

“We believe the interspecial strife that has escalated over the past few years could be mitigated by introducing Animals to other species at an early point in their lives. And in addition to that, we believe that using trained teachers is the best way to impart knowledge. Not all parents are capable of doing that,” she says.

The group will be out in full force over the weekend, handing out buttons and talking to citizens about education and the future of The Park.

“I can’t wait to get going on this campaign. The future is now,” says Fossa.

OTD in 2016—ASIS head to replace Mink at UWT event

By

ASIS HeadC. Astrid H. Ant, Head of The Park’s Ant Security and Intelligence Service (ASIS), will replace Chief Archon Raymond H. Mink as speaker at the 2016 University of West Terrier Open House on January 29, it was announced today.

Mink bowed out of the speaking engagement on January 17, a day after he was sworn in as 2016 Chief Archon, explaining that he felt his focus should be on governing at this time.

In a brief statement that appeared on the university’s web site, the UWT President and Governors thanked Ant for accepting the invitation “on such short notice.”

The ASIS head, who is perhaps best known for her leadership of the brilliant team that prevented the destruction of an entire Ant colony, will be speaking about the rôle that higher education plays in investigative police work and in the maintenance of interspecial harmony in general.

The university’s full announcement about the Open House appears on its web site.

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

Join TMD on Facebook

Join TMD on Facebook

Click below to see what others say about us

CATCH UP HERE!

May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031