Archives for April 2018

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 22 April 2014

Organizers have finally set the date for The Park’s newest charity event, The Fowl Ball.

At a press event held this afternoon, organizer Rafael Ortega confirmed that the Department of Holidays Festivals, and Celebrations, in conjunction with the Archons of The Park, have agreed to set aside Saturday May 31 for what Ortega calls “the event of the year.”

Some small details have yet to be finalized, Ortega said, but the important ones “have been carved in stone since November.”

While the Ball’s raison d’être is to raise funds for Avian aid (and to raise awareness of the plight of many in The Park’s Avian community), Ortega stressed that guests’ enjoyment and stimulation of The Park’s economy were also objectives.

“We are committed to the notion that every Animal in The Park will benefit from this benefit,” he joked.

As for the delay in selecting a date, Ortega acknowledged that this was a difficult year to debut the Ball.

“Due to our severe Winter, so many in our community have delayed their re-entry and we wanted every Bird to be…not only present, but rested enough to enjoy the event,” he said.

As well, since the Ball’s date falls a little less than two weeks after the Anixi Agrarian Jubilee, Animals will be in a party mood.

“The Agrarian Jubilee not only marks the beginning of The Park’s growing season, but its Summer social season, as well. Having the Ball a couple of weeks after the Jubilee positions us perfectly in terms of attendance and readiness to party,” Ortega said.

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 25 January 2006

Amid protests from a number of Animal groups, Park officials kicked off their “Wee Paws” census campaign today, in the hope of persuading Animals to “count themselves in” and help Park Archons obtain an accurate reckoning of residents in The Park.

Yet, despite their good intentions and a planned media blitz, members of the Park Census Office may have a tough time convincing many Animals of the benefits of a head count in The Park.

“They can count me in as a citizen, but I don’t think I should have to declare my species,” said Nathaniel Warthog, as he marched, protest sign in hand, in front of the Wishing Well.

“Jor [The Park’s first leader] would never have pitted one Animal against another like this.”

It is just this fear—that, in the future, Park officials will use population statistics to limit the number of certain species in The Park—that has made many Animals reluctant to participate in the census.

Park officials say, however, that there is no reason to fear that results from the census will be used against any Animals.

“We need to know the total number of Animals, and the numbers of different species so that we can provide services for them. We’ve been working ‘blind’ for years, and that’s just no way to govern a Park,” said a spokesAnimal for the Census Office.

15 Karpos (June) 25 AZ (2006) has been designated as official “Census Day,” but the deadline for the submission of questionnaires is the first of Azafran (July).

Participation in the census is voluntary.

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 15 April 2015

Fourth in a series

Can abSCENT make the heart grow fonder?

Perhaps not, but it definitely can help it stay stronger and more faithful, according to its maker, DoftTek, S.A.

A relative newcomer, DoftTek specializes in scent-related products and was voted The Park’s most promising company last year by The Cosmopolitan Pest. The abSCENT app is the company’s first foray into wearable technology.

The innovative app, which DoftTek launched on Monday, works like a “virtual locket,” allowing users to store the scents of their loved ones so that they can access them at any time.

“Physical absence need never be a barrier to relating,” said DoftTek spokesAnimal Lars Myskoxe, who demonstrated the app outside the Reek ‘O Rama yesterday.

The crowd oohed and awed as Myskoxe showed the potential users how easy the app makes it to retain a “dynamic memory” of their loved ones.

“It’s authentic,” said Keeva Moffatt, President of the Spotted Skunk Sedan Patrol and a Reek ‘O Rama regular.

“It does what it says. The scent is pure and, from what I could tell, it doesn’t degrade. This is something every Park Animal will want,” she said.

Myskoxe claims the uses for the app are “unlimited,” and will grow in number as more and more Animals “make it their own.”

“In its present form, it can store up to ten scents. We are planning to expand that within the next five years,” he said. “I can see it eventually becoming a necessary tool for all stages of life,” he said.

The app is currently available only through the company and at the Reek ‘O Rama, which intends to offer it at a discount on May 5 only, the date of the annual Mating Dance.

“That will be its biggest test so far,” said Myskoxe.

See also:
TulipTracker™
FoodFinder™
gaggle

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 16 April 2014

With just two weeks to go, The Park’s media organizations are gearing up for what some have called the biggest experiment in the history of journalism.[pullquote]I wouldn’t be surprised if it kickstarted interest…Whether the media can hold that interest is the question”. – Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP)[/pullquote]

“All systems are go,” pronounced Alvin Tinamou with pride, at a hastily-organized update at his office yesterday afternoon. The subject was May’s “Month Without Metaphor,” but the Elephant in the room was the state of the industry, itself.

“It’s no secret that the modern era has presented us with a huge challenge,” Tinamou admits, but he backs away from any suggestion that the industry is on its last legs.

In fact, the publisher of The Avian Messenger winces at the term “experiment” to describe the month-long initiative of which he is one of the organizers. Instead, he refers to it as the “Grand Resuscitation,” an ambitious description that some in the profession say it could well turn out to be.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it kickstarted interest, especially among the newspaper readership,” says Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP). “Whether the media and, particularly, our newspapers, can hold that interest, though, is the question.”

Gertrude C. Owl, Dean of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism and Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent agrees.

“I think it’s a brilliant idea, really, inviting the public to, almost, scrutinize the business…allowing them to feel a part of it, while still keeping the boundaries clear. I’m cautiously optimistic about it, but I think it will take more than one go at this type of thing to be truly effective,” she says.