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Archives for September 2024

OTD in 2015—Stinktier drops bombshell: “I’ve always known in my heart that I was a Zebra.”

September 10, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Scentient BeingsIt looks as though one half of the musical duo SCENTient Beings may not be what he seems.

In a live interview on the Yannis Tavros show yesterday, Faramund Stinktier, the Reekabilly singer and the duo’s composer, dropped a bombshell when he suddenly confessed to “knowing” that he was a Zebra.

The declaration took Tavros completely by surprise, he said in a post-show interview outside Toro Talk Radio, which broadcasts the Tavros show live every afternoon.

“We were talking about the Beats of Burden [musical festival] and about the success the duo has had since they débuted Reekabilly a year ago at the festival and, out of nowhere, he said that he’d always known in his heart that he was a Zebra.

At first, I thought he was joking around and I said, ‘Faramund, let’s get serious now.’ I mean, I thought we were talking about music. Then he looked at me with such earnestness and pleading, so I had to let him continue. I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t rehearsed…at least, I don’t think so. It was more like some cork just popped and there was no containing it anymore,” Tavros said.

Stinktier didn’t backtrack, even though Tavros gave him the opportunity to do so.

“He could have turned it into a joke and everything would have been fine, but he really wanted to tell his story, so I let him,” Tavros said.

That story, it seems, began years ago but reached a peak last year, when Damien Skyles of The Cynics encouraged the duo to explore different kinds of music.

“I created Reekabilly out of country [music] and what I called ‘parts of our essential selves,’ ” Stinktier said. “But what I didn’t tell anyone at the time was that during the course of that musical fusion, I came to understand something even more essential about myself.”

Although Stinktier said nothing about what path he would choose in the future, Tavros said he seemed relieved to have made his realization public.

Afterwards, though, Stinktier did his best to duck the crowd that had gathered outside. But when he ran into a vacant burrow just north of the radio station, his action was met with jeers.

“Let’s see a Zebra do that!” one member of the crowd yelled at him.

Although Stinktier has not been heard from since, Alfredo Ox of the Beasts of Burden says the duo hasn’t cancelled their participation in next weekend’s music festival.

“They’re professionals and big supporters of the cause,” Ox says. “I can’t imagine they’d cancel at this late date.”

Calls to the group’s manager and to their publicist Hartwig Stinktier have so far gone unanswered.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: confession, Faramund Stinktier, identity, music, SCENTient Beings

OTD in 2015—Charities want say in distribution of funds from Beats of Burden music fest

September 9, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park CharitiesSome of The Park’s charities are demanding a say in the distribution of funds raised by the Beats of Burden Musical Festival.

In an open letter published on Monday and addressed to the Beasts of Burden, the festival’s creators and hosts, the presidents of six of the Park’s charities, including LynxLink, CatsCare, and Tortoise Immigrant Aid, call for a meeting with the Beasts and the festival’s financial managers to discuss fund allocation.

“We wish to congratulate you on the success of the Beats of Burden Musical Festival,” the letter begins. But it goes on to say that now that the festival is well-established and has become a big money-maker, the charities feel it’s time they had some input into how the money is spent.

The three-day-long festival, which is now in its third year, was conceived of by the Beasts as a way to aid The Park’s refugees. In addition to their performances at the festival, the musical group has donated two songs in support of that cause, and other Park musicians and artists have made similar donations. The festival also includes auctions and other events aimed at raising money for our ever-growing refugee community.

While the charities say they appreciate all the fundraising efforts, they believe they know best when it comes to funding allocation.

“Because we are at ground zero when it comes to working with The Park’s refugees, we feel our expertise is invaluable. And because this is a timely matter, we would very much like to offer our assistance at your earliest convenience,” the letter concludes. It is signed by the presidents of LynxLink, Runaway Rovers, Home to Roost, CatsCare, Rodents at Risk, and the Tortoise Immigrant Aid and Mentor Programme.

Although the Beasts of Burden have made no public statement since the letter was published, their manager Ignatius Herder confirmed the group has read it.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: Beats of Burden, charities, charity fund allocation

OTD in 2015—Retired novelist’s film to open PIFF 2015

September 8, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe first film of retired novelist Hentrick Olifant will open the 2015 Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) in October, it was announced today.

At a short press conference this morning, PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot confirmed the selection.

“We are thrilled to announce that Hentrick Olifant’s first film, Parade, will open our festival this year. As you will see for yourselves, Parade is a wonderful mix of history and autobiography with a futuristic twist. We are grateful to have the chance to screen this film,” she said.

Ocelot said the October 1 gala screening would be the film’s début, but she could not confirm that Olifant would be in attendance.

“Since he retired from writing novels, he’s been a bit of a recluse, but we are going to try our best to coax him out for this,” she said.

Best known for his novel, Grasses, Leaves, Bamboo, Bark, which won the 2006  award for fiction at the Park Annual Literary Awards (now Chitter Radio Literary Awards), Olifant also served as a Park Archon in 2009. He was last in the public eye in April of 2014, when he announced his retirement from writing fiction by auctioning off his unused novel titles (all proceeds went to charity).

Regarded as one of The Park’s most prolific writers, Olifant said at the time of his retirement that should be decide to resume writing, it would most likely be in the form of history or personal memoir. Instead, he combined the two and chose to work in a different medium.

“I find film much more dynamic than the novel these days,” he said in a rare interview last month. “There is more to do and, thus, more scope. Yet, alas, there is less time in which to do it,” he said.

In the opening credits of Parade, Olifant is listed as screenwriter, co-director, and producer.


The Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) runs from 1-5 October 2015.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Hentrick Olifant, PIFF 2015

OTD in 2013—Nut Bar becomes PIFF 2013 official sponsor of “Mixed Nuts”

September 7, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Nut Bar has assumed official sponsorship of the film version of “Mixed Nuts,” which will have its premiere screening this October during PIFF 2013.

In a joint statement released this morning, The Nut Bar and Lodgepole Productions confirmed that an agreement of sponsorship had been reached.

“We are delighted to announce the collaboration between The Nut Bar and Lodgepole Productions in bringing this wonderful film home to The Park this October. We look forward to having the opportunity to present the film and to interact with audience members during The Park Interspecial Film Festival,” the statement read in part.

This is the first time that the venerable Park shop has sponsored a film.

“We thought it was a perfect fit, so we approached them last year,” said the film’s producer, Victoria Sciurini.

“They didn’t need much convincing, though. It turns out they’re big fans of Millicent [Hayberry, the film’s star] and they’ve been terrific about the whole process. They are a very generous company,” she said.

“Mixed Nuts” will screen at The Park Cinema on Oct 2 and 3, 2013.

The Park Interspecial Film Festival Runs from October 1-5, 2013.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2015—Beasts of Burden to hold second pre-festival open mic at The Draft

September 6, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The DraftIt’s the pre-show to end all pre-shows.

The Beasts of Burden announced today that they will once again hold a pre-festival open mic night on Friday, September 11 at The Draft, the pub by the Wishing Well that the musical group owns.

According to their manager Ignatius Herder, last year’s open mic was so successful that they decided to repeat it.

“If this goes as well [as last year’s], they’re going to make it an annual event,” Herder says.

Originally conceived as a way to “warm up” Park residents in advance of the Beats of Burden Music Festival, which is now in its third year, the event turned into a talent search that netted two new performers at last year’s festival. In addition, the Beasts became mentors to three young musicians, one of whom has now begun a career as a merging artist (merging artists are artists who work in only one field of the arts and who collaborate with one or more other artists who work in another, distinct field).

“That was a total surprise,” Alfredo Ox told The Mammalian Daily yesterday. “Mentoring was the last thing on our minds, and now it’s front and centre.”

This year, Herder says, he’s looking forward to hearing the newest talent, but he doesn’t know if they’ll have the time to take on more than a couple of musicians or singers.

“Of course, it all depends on the quality. There are some performers that you simply can’t say no to,” he said.

The rules for this year’s open mic are the same as last year’s: the Beasts are asking those who wish to play or sing to add their names to a list that will be posted outside their pub on Tuesday morning.

“But whether or not you want to perform, it will be a great time. And be prepared to stay out all night,” Herder advises.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: beasts of burden, beats of burden music festival, music, open mic

OTD in 2007—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Bowling Ball

September 5, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Today’s ball is the BOWLINGball.

The bowling ball has a long history with Dogs.

Originally designed as a culinary tool, cynologists (those who study Dogs) believe that the bowling ball was the first vessel used by the Cave Dog when he began to mix and cook his morning gruel.

Shards gathered at the rich clay areas of The Park suggest that the first bowling balls were earthenware creations. These balls originally had no holes; later balls discovered near the site were found to have three holes. Scholars postulate that the Cave Dog added holes at a later time in order to allow steam to rise from the ball when it was placed on the open fire.

As Canine cooking methods evolved, Dogs began to favour open pots. Bowling balls were relegated to the shelves as decoration until many centuries later, when they became one of the tools of War Dogs in Human military campaigns.

Military logs displayed in The Park’s Canine Military Museum reveal that the bowling ball was used by the War Dogs as a “paw grenade.” After filling it with gunpowder, the Dogs rolled the ball into enemy territory, where it exploded. So successful was this manoeuvre that it was employed in many wars and came to be known as the “three-hole punch.”

As more sophisticated combat methods replaced the “paw grenade,” the ball’s use became strictly recreational. Since that time, the bowling ball has provided many hours of joy for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: Canine Culinary History, Volume 1; Annals of the Canine Military Museum, “L’enfer, c’est la guerre,” by Denis Bagarre; Various newspaper articles and reports. 

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com

Filed Under: Breaking News, Let's Talk Balls!, On This Day Tagged With: history of the bowling ball, let's talk balls, Sports

OTD in 2007—The Wolves at Our Door

September 4, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

EDITORIAL

Two pieces of news came to our attention this week: the Archons intend to debate The Park’s open immigration policy and Humans have declared open season on the Wolves roaming lands outside the Park.

It is as easy to see the connection between the two as it is to see the likelihood of tragedy as a consequence of both.

Here, in The Park, our policy of open immigration has suffered some damage to its reputation, of late. The withering economy, population growth, food shortages – all these things, and more, have caused some Park Animals to call for a re-thinking of our policy. Why extend to strangers what we worked so hard for, their reasoning goes. Why not keep the good thing that we have to ourselves, and let others fend for themselves?

Why, indeed.

In these difficult times, it is insufficient to respond with the usual arguments: that more Animals from different places make for a richer Park, both culturally and economically, or that The Park has always been a refuge for the unwanted, the hunted, the wounded, the poverty-stricken, the starving, and the scared.

These arguments will not work on Animals who have turned away from The Park’s fundamental principles. We must invoke stronger arguments, lest the pressure on the Archons to enact changes become too much for them to bear.

Fellow citizens, we need only look outside The Park to see the consequences of exclusionary policies. The Human world is built of countries, cities, towns, and villages that would refuse us succour. Is this the model that we wish to emulate?

Hope, decency, concern for our fellow Animal – these are the qualities that separate us from Humans, the qualities that make us distinct. Why should we demean ourselves by hoarding instead of sharing, by shutting our doors, instead of welcoming newcomers, by limiting the numbers of those who might prosper here, unfettered and unafraid?

When the Wolves come knocking on our door this Winter, this is the question we must ask ourselves: Are we Mice or are we Men?

This editorial originally appeared in Issue #119 of The Mammalian Daily.

Filed Under: From the Vault, On This Day

OTD in 2012—PIFF introduces “Noon Nuttiness” to 2012 lineup

September 3, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) has come of age, organizers say, and so have Park citizens. So, it’s about time that comedy was properly represented at PIFF; hence, today’s announcement of an important addition to the 2012 festival lineup.

“We are overjoyed to be here to announce the Noon Nuttiness addition to the festival,” said PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot at a press conference held this morning at the Park Cinema.

“Noon Nuttiness” means that between the hours of 12:00 pm and 2:00 pm, PIFF screenings at the Park Cinema will be of comedies only.

“Five days in a row of funny should have every Animal cackling,” Ocelot said, slipping the name of the new addition’s sponsor into the announcement. And just to make sure the message was received, standing beside Ocelot was Lester C. Gander, President and C.E.O. of GooseBook, whose company rolled out the new “happy” social networking site cackle™ last month. Gander took to the microphone immediately afterwards to make an announcement of his own:

“I am happy to announce to you today that for the five days of PIFF, Noon Nuttiness patrons will be given cackle™-enabled devices so they can share their reviews of this year’s comedies with their friends,” he said.

Ocelot also announced the names of the two comedies that will open Noon Nuttiness. “Love Lies Drooling”  written and directed by Xanthippe Newfoundlander and “Big Red Bucket” produced by the antYloper film cooperative.

The 8th annual Park Interspecial Film Festival will take place October 1-5, 2012.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2016—Introducing PIFF Piffle: relevant irrelevancies about our annual film fest

September 2, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) is one of our most popular annual events. Yet, very little is known about its inner workings: the behind-the-scenes triumphs and tragedies, the disasters or even near-misses, and the antagonism, jealousy, and pettiness that play a part in The Park’s most cutthroat film industry.

But that is all about to change this year.

As a celebration of the festival’s twelfth year and in recognition of the maturation of the industry over the past decade and the value of film in Park life, The Mammalian Daily has given a new assignment to our official PIFF reporter, Aivis Burunduks. From now until the end of the festival, Burunduks will be reporting from behind the camera, behind the curtain, and behind the press conference. He’ll show you what goes into making a PIFF-worthy film and how that film makes it into the festival. He’ll expose the messy machinations of the industry and introduce you to the fire-breathing producers and the pandering publicists.

So, take a seat while we take you on a whirlwind tour of the second-greatest show in The Park.

Filed Under: Breaking News, PIFF, PIFF Piffle Tagged With: behind the scenes at PIFF, inside information, Park Interspecial Film Festival, PIFF, PIFF gossip

OTD in 2015—Cackling Goose Tavern to host fundraiser for Jerzy Szop on Friday

September 1, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Cackling Goose TavernThe Cackling Goose Tavern announced today that it will host a fundraiser for displaced Park citizen Jerzy Szop this Friday night.

In an invitation posted on their GooseBook page, the tavern appealed to all Park residents to “come out after 6:00 p.m. on Friday night and make this the fundraiser to end all fundraisers.”

Szop lost his home in July when the Maple Tree in which he had lived for the past three years was hacked during the night. Although Park Police have yet to determine the perpetrator of the crime, AnonyMoose has claimed responsibility for the hacking. Since then, Szop has been staying with friends and family members, some of whom report he is feeling “lost” and quite depressed. At the time of the hacking, he said he had lost faith in Park life and was considering leaving.

In an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio, The Cackling Goose owner Brantford Gander said he knew Friday’s fundraiser would at the very least boost Szop’s spirits.

“But, truthfully, we’re looking to do much more than that. We’ll have music, games, food, drink, and an auction. Something for every Animal but hopefully even more for Jerzy. We’re hoping that this will truly be the Goose that laid the Golden Egg for him,” Gander said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: AnonyMoose, Cackling Goose, fundraiser, homeless

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