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Mark your calendars for these important events this January

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Put this on your calendarJanuary is a busy time in The Park, but this year it will be especially busy as we embark on our year-long celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of the establishment of zoocracy. To make sure you don’t miss anything, keep these dates circled on your calendar:

January 1-15: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, For Tomorrow You May Have to Govern
Because we use the sortition method to select our Archons every January, we are all aware that this duty may fall to us. So, in the days leading up to the selection and announcement, spend time with your friends and family, and enjoy yourself. You may not have much time to do so in the coming year.

January 6: Otter Ice Slide Opens
We’re lucky to host all four seasons in The Park and we do enjoy our Winter. As it happens, our Otters know a thing or two about Winter fun, too, and they’re generous enough to share it with the rest of us. So, get yourself over to the Otter Ice Slide while it’s still cold out. There’s no feeling like it!

January 15: New Archons Announced
In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons will be posted at the Law Courts early on the morning of January 15, an hour after the selection is certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.

The list will remain posted at the Courts until the end of the week, so that all citizens and residents may review the names. The list will also be published in the January 15 edition of The Mammalian Daily.

January 16: Archons sworn in (half-day holiday)
For the selected Archons, the swearing-in ceremony will be a first; for Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon, it will be his eighteenth. This year’s ceremony will be especially meaningful and poignant, given zoocracy’s anniversary and the fact that all previous Archons and Chief Archons (that is, those who are still with us) are scheduled to appear with the new government.

January 20-March 31: PMoCA presents ARCHONOGRAPHY
To honour those who so faithfully have served the process of Animal self-rule, the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) will host this “ultra-live” art installation. Park artists will be on-site twelve hours a day to paint portraits of museum-goers’ chosen Archons. All portraits will hang in the museum until the end of 2017. Admission to the event is free. More details will be available on the PMoCA’s web site.

January 29: University of West Terrier Annual Open House
The annual open house at The Park’s most renowned research institution attracts hopeful would-be students, alumni, and all those interested in higher education. Come for the tour and the snacks, but stay for the annual speaker. You’ll never be disappointed!

January 31: Herman Stoat Dance Company at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre: “The Cyclamen in Winter”
As a tribute to our hibernating friends, the Herman Stoat Dance Company will give a special performance of “The Cyclamen in Winter” at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre. Admission is free.

Lead-up to Groundhog Day
One of our most important holidays (if not the most important), The Park’s Groundhog Day celebration will include, of course, the prognostication, the Archons’ address, and the welcoming home of our hibernators. Shadow or no shadow, this year’s GD celebration is sure to be a great one. See you there!

Archons unveil logo of “Zoocracy 35”

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zoocracy-35The 2016 Archons and the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations (DHFC) have unveiled the official logo of this year’s celebration of the founding of zoocracy in The Park.

At a press event this morning, DHFC director of public relations Aintza Kanariar introduced Chief Archon Raymond Mink, who spoke for a few minutes about Park history and the struggle for Animal self-rule. Then, assisted by his fellow Archons, he pulled the cover off a picture of the official logo.

Commissioned for the occasion by the 2014 Archons, the logo was designed and produced by slow artist Heike Slak, whose painting, “Beacon,” hangs in the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA).

The year-long celebration in The Park, which will begin on 1 January 2017, will be called “Zoocracy 35,” Mink told the press.  Slak’s “Zoocracy 35” logo features Animals of different species standing together above the words “Zoocracy/35/1982-2017.”

Slak, who spoke briefly at the unveiling, answered reporters’ questions about his colour choices for the logo.

“In many ways, I believe my choices regarding colour make the logo accessible to all,” Slak said. “The use of green, of course, symbolizes The Park. And gold seemed like the best colour to portray the value of Park life.”

Chief Archon Mink said the logo would appear on all official Archon correspondence, as well as on all Park letterhead, and announcements about Zoocracy 35 events. In addition, he confirmed that Park shops would be selling official Zoocracy 35 merchandise, including clothing, bowls, sportswear, and collectibles. A portion of all proceeds will go to a special Zoocracy 35 Fund, which will support The Park’s most needy residents.

Winter Solstice 2016: all the bells and whistles, including Belles and Whistles

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winter-solsticeGet ready to party hard and party long: The Park’s 2016 Celebration of the Winter Solstice will begin tomorrow at sunrise and end—officially, that is— at three o’clock in the morning on December 22.

“We’re pulling out all the stops this year. It’s going to be a celebration to end all celebrations,” Aintza Kanariar said, as she announced the official schedule as per the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

So fully packed will this holiday festival be, that it will be hard to find a band or a performing artist who is not participating.

In fact, Kanariar said, the only performers who will not be making an appearance tomorrow will be those who are in hibernation. Among them, of course, is Millicent Hayberry, who reportedly has sent a video message to Solstice celebrants.

In addition to Belles and Whistles, music makers who will take the stage include:

The Feral Four
The Canary Cousins
Spontaneous Generation
Les Chiens Débraillés
SCENTient Beings
Jargonhead
The Cynics
Will.o.be
Memes of Production
Last Stand
Eggie and The Pigs
ZEAL
Inktvis and Krake
The All-Rodent Marching Band
The DomEstyx
The Beasts of Burden
NIML
Fish Rap

The Endeka Elephant Band is scheduled to make a special appearance at noon, Kanariar confirmed. They will be introduced by Thisbe and the Barkettes.

Other highlights of the celebration include:

  • An original dance choreographed for the occasion by Herman Stoat will be performed by his eponymous dance company. The title of this year’s dance is “The Cyclamen in Winter.”
  • Jugglers, clowns, and a Human imitator will provide entertainment throughout the celebration
  • Wilbur J. Pika and members of the New Harmony Theatre will read selected pages from The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat
  • Students from the Hani Gajah School of Art will be providing free tail-painting for young participants
  • Costume dress-up events will be hosted by the Park Historical Society
  • Storytelling
  • Harmonious Hannah and Humphrey will be on hand throughout the festivities

As always, a major component of the celebration will be the food.This year’s fare will be provided by The Battering Ram Café, The Compost Heap, The Broop ‘n Miaow, The Draft, The Pound Gastropub, and The Cackling Goose Tavern. Mikko Tikkeri’s The Feeding Station will be serving a full breakfast just after the solstice occurs and chef Tab Tricolore will host an afternoon and evening “feral buffet.” Ants in Your Pantry and Provisions by Petrounel will once again send all attendees home with tasty party favours.

The Celebration of the Winter Solstice begins at sunrise on December 21. Food will be served throughout the event. The Solstice will occur at 5:44 a.m. Local Park Time (LPT).

Winter Solstice celebration unofficial kick-off to zoocracy’s 35th birthday bash

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Next week’s celebration of the Winter Solstice will not only be spectacular, it will be “a taste of things to come,” according to Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

In fact, the annual Winter festival will be the “unofficial kick-off” to The Park’s year-long celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy.

The “totality of Park life” will be celebrated in 2017, not just Animal self-rule, Kanariar told reporters at a press conference yesterday.

“Every aspect of our culture, our politics, and our life here will be represented in our 2017 celebrations,” she said. “It will be a chance for all of us to come together and acknowledge this great thing that we have accomplished in The Park.”

And, should you feel a case of Non-Hibernators’ guilt coming on, Kanariar was quick to assure that “every Animal’s species and way of life will be recognized” and every Animal will have a chance to attend the many events planned for 2017.

As for the Winter Solstice, Kanariar said the full schedule will be released on the weekend.

Stereotype STUNday: Snail Male lambasted for “aggressive” behaviour

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angry-snailIt wasn’t just his specist lyrics. Or the direction his tentacles pointed. Or even the tattoo (unprintable in this newspaper) on his shell.

It was, as the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) put it, “a combustible combination of the three” that led them to call Park Police to remove rapper SnailMale from the stage at this past weekend’s Stereotype Sunday.

Speaking at a press conference this morning, Cornelius Kakapo, Director of Public Relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety, said although the department would not press charges against the rapper, he most definitely would be banned from performing at major events in The Park “for some time.”

“We believe he intended to be incendiary and that is his prerogative when he performs on his own at events that he has organized and that Animals have paid to attend. But it was absolutely inappropriate to bring that type of attitude and set list to an open event and, particularly, to an event that is organized to promote interspecial harmony,” Kakapo said.

According to Kakapo, most attendees were in agreement with the department’s decision to remove the rapper from the stage mid-performance.

“We had an enormous amount of feedback on this and I would say ninety percent of it is positive in terms of our actions,” he said.

SnailMale, whose songs are known to be angry and aggressive, has displayed specist tendencies in the past, but he has also been a supporter of interspecial harmony in The Park. In an open letter on his web site posted yesterday, the rapper said he was “unfairly treated and unjustly removed” from the event.

“They knew my work when they invited me to perform. So, why did they remove me for being who I have always been?” he asked.

Archons unveil plans for celebration of 35th anniversary of zoocracy

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35-plus-borderThis January, The Park will begin a year-long celebration of our thirty-five years of Animal self-rule, the Archons announced today.

At a press conference this morning, Chief Archon Abayomi Tanishia Cuckoo revealed some of the plans that she said have been underway for a couple of years—and through several sets of Archons.

“This was the first file that our transition team was handed,” she said, “and we were the third set of Archons to work on it.”

And, according to Cuckoo, they will not be the last. The 2016 Archons, whose tenure ends in mid-January, will hand over the celebration’s reins to the next group of Archons.

“It would have been unfair not to allow them to contribute to a celebration of which they will be so much a part,” she said.

The plans announced today include art gallery and museum exhibitions, the publication of commemorative books and photographs, concerts, and a large number of public celebrations, full of, as Cuckoo put it, “great food and fun.”

“We’ve worked with institutions and groups including the Park Historical Society, the University of West Terrier, the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life, and, of course, The Park Museum, to bring a wide range of experience and views to the celebration of our lives under zoocracy. But, now, we’re inviting our citizens, the great Animals who have made The Park a successful zoocracy, to share their ideas,” she said.

To this end, Cuckoo announced that the Archons, in conjunction with the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, will host a dedicated web site to collect Park citizens’ thoughts, memories, and celebration ideas. More information on the site will be forthcoming.

“This will be a celebration of and for all,” she said.

ZEAL, Stinktier make peace at Snowbird Farewell

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zeal-stinktier

Zeal and Faramund Stinktier at Snowbird Farewell

Popular Park singer ZEAL and Faramund Stinktier of the SCENTient Beings duo set aside their differences yesterday to play an emotional set together at the annual Snowbird Farewell.

It was an intense few minutes, not only for the two musicians but for all the celebrants at the annual gathering in honour of The Park’s Avian migrators. A few seconds after concluding the duo’s greatest hit, “Beings and Nuttiness,” the father of Reekabilly music ushered his singing partner Harimann Stinktier off the stage and invited ZEAL to come up and perform with him.

A very surprised ZEAL graciously accepted the invitation, and they sang three songs—two of ZEAL’s and one of the Beings’—before they left the stage.

Asked later by a reporter whether he’d planned the move, Stinktier said he hadn’t.

“I saw him [ZEAL] standing there in the audience and, you know, we haven’t spoken since he backed out of performing at the Winter Solstice celebrations because of my decision to transition to a Zebra. But when I saw him, it just made sense to me to give it a try. I didn’t ask him for understanding and we have no plans to sing together again. It was just a moment and that moment seemed right for us to bring harmony to the event,” he said.

ZEAL has not said anything about his performance yesterday.

Date of Snowbird Farewell changed

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Snowbird FarewellThe date of The Park’s annual Snowbird Farewell has been pushed back one week.

In a short statement released today, Public Relations Director Aintza Kanariar confirmed that the event will take place on October 19 from this year on.

No reason was given for the adjustment, but many in The Park’s weather-making and farming communities believe it is due to the warmer temperatures The Park has been experiencing over the last decades. Many in The Park’s business community are of the same belief.

“I agree with them,” Nicoletta Cardinale, owner of  STRICTLY FOR THE BIRDS, told The Mammalian Daily this morning. Her travel agency, which specializes in migration travel, has seen its business plummet over the past few years and she attributes at least part of that to a change in The Park’s climate.

“Life here has become less challenging in the Winter months and many Birds are choosing to wait out the cold weather rather than risk travel,” she says.

Whatever the reason, The Park’s Avian community now officially has one extra week to prepare to leave or prepare to Winter in The Park.

Harvest Festival organizers issue edict: no woes allowed

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Harvest FestivalIt’s official. The organizers of Tuesday’s Harvest Festival have issued an edict barring the advancement of any political or other agenda at this year’s event. And, in doing so, they claim to have the full backing of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

The edict is in keeping with last year’s decision not to allow The Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park (WMPSAP) and the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF) to host information booths at the Autumn celebration.

In a statement released late yesterday afternoon, the organizers said the festival “forbids any Animal or organization of Animals to “establish a presence at the Festival for the purpose of disseminating information unrelated to the Festival and/or of advancing a political or social agenda.”

The statement concludes by saying that the Harvest Festival is meant to be a “happy” event, a “celebration of our work and of our bounty,” and that all Animals are entitled to feel “joy and safety there, no matter what their beliefs are.”

The Beats gets bigger: lineup for music festival’s fourth year announced today

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Beats of Burden logo“Bigger” and “better” were the words most often uttered this morning as Beasts of Burden lead singer Alfredo Ox announced the lineup for the fourth annual Beats of Burden Music Festival.[pullquote]“We want The Park’s refugees, who are the festival’s raison d’être, to always be within your sight or hearing. We want you —no matter what you’re listening to, no matter what you’re watching, no matter what you’re eating—to have our refugees be front and centre in your mind. —Alfredo Ox, on the 2016 Beats of Burden Music Festival[/pullquote]

“We know that bigger isn’t always better, but in this case it is,” Ox told the throng of reporters outside The Draft, the pub that he and his Beasts of Burden bandmates own.

“We asked ourselves, what could make this event better? How do we stay true to our purpose without this becoming just another music festival?”

The answer to that question, Ox said, was to bring the musical and other acts closer to that purpose.

“We want The Park’s refugees, who are the festival’s raison d’être, to always be within your sight or hearing. We want you —no matter what you’re listening to, no matter what you’re watching, no matter what you’re eating—to have our refugees front and centre in your mind. Yes, we want you to have a Whale of a time, and that’s no pun. NIML will be at the festival, down by the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond. But we also want you to remember that this is a charity festival, a festival with a purpose, not just a Porpoise,” he said, as the crowd groaned.

As far as the music lineup goes, many of these groups have performed at the festival before: Inktvis and Krake, Eggie and The Pigs, The Feral Four, The Canary Cousins, Banded Brothers, Spontaneous Generation, NIML, rapper Will.o.be., The Cynics, The Tweeters, Les Chiens Débraillés, GHC, Jargohead, Fish Rap, and The DomEstyx.

But there are newcomers, such as Belles and Whistles and Memes of Production and up-and-comers, including Erdferkel!, plucked just past Friday from the Beats in the Bar (formerly the Open Mic at The Draft), as well as last year’s pick, The Crumb Seekers.

Even bigger musical news comes in the form of Last Stand, the band whose members all hail from endangered species, and ZEAL, who begged off last year’s Celebration of the Winter Solstice because he refused to play at the same event as the SCENTient Beings’ Faramund Stinktier. The Beats will feature both, though they’ll play at different venues.

As well, Ox said he personally invited The Endeka Elephant Band, whose bassist, Zuberi Tembo, was killed this summer on a trip home to Africa. The band agreed to play on two of the three days of the festival, and Ox said he took that as a compliment.

“Zuberi Tembo was a refugee and I think the band wanted to honour that,” he said.

This year’s festival will introduce a new category, Spoken Word Extemporaneous (SWE), which Ox said he’s particularly excited about. And the comedy portion will feature Dalmanik and Woodruff Dalmatio, with a few “surprises” in store for Saturday.

Another first for the festival is the Rodent gymnastic troupe, “Out of the Box.” Ox was also proud to announce that the organizers of the annual Park ART Walk had agreed to resurrect their 2014 exhibit, “From Fear to Freedom,” which highlights the art of The Park’s refugees.

As usual, the Beasts of Burden will take the stage every day and night and they’ll be acting as auctioneers during Saturday night’s gala auction.

With all that, and the “long list of surprises” that Ox boasted about, it’s hard not to believe that this bigger Beats will be even better.

The Beats of Burden Music Festival will take place at venues throughout The Park 16-18 September 2016.

All proceeds from the festival go toward assisting The Park’s refugees.

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