Satirical fiction in newspaper form
Dorika Pumi, curator at The Park Museum, has produced a simple yet powerful piece entitled, “Pet Project: Monikers of Domestication,” to honour Enforced Domestication Awareness Month in The Park:
Pumi used one whole museum wall at the west side of the main building, as the backdrop for the video.
“There is no voiceover or commentary,” Pumi emphasizes. “The video speaks for itself.”
“The Wall,” as Pumi refers to it, will be on display at the museum until the end of the year.
The Park Historical Society is calling on the 2015 Archons and the Park Census Office (PCO) to institute a new census by the end of 2017.[pullquote]All mature societies have some idea of who makes up their population, who needs what, where, when, and why. We are well behind in this respect.—Clark Cascanueces, Park Historical Society president [/pullquote]
In an interview this morning on Toro Talk Radio, PHS president Clark Cascanueces told host Yannis Tavros that The Park is “way overdue” on an official count.
“Our last census was held in 2007, the year we knew as 25 AZ, because calendar harmonization hadn’t even been discussed yet,” he said.
“And that voluntary count was all but useless, in my opinion. There was too much ignorance surrounding the process and Animals over-reacted to the idea of a head count.”
Cascanueces says the idea has support from some former as well as current Archons and from faculty members at the University of West Terrier. He also counts The Park’s healthcare providers as avid supporters of a new census.
“They’ve told me we have to get a grip on what our needs are, not even just in their own area, but in every area. At this point, we’re flying without a net, providing ad hoc assistance and hoping that will suffice. Well, it won’t,” he said.
The PHS president said he has a meeting scheduled with the Archons for mid-May and that he intends to tell them that a new, mandatory census is as urgent as a new budget.
“All mature societies have some idea of who makes up their population, who needs what, where, when, and why. We are well behind in this respect,” he said.
Free elections are the only way to combat inequality in The Park: Douglas Cheetah
The Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP) now has an ally in the person of award-winning film director, Douglas Cheetah.
In a statement released this morning by Cheetah himself, he says that he has come to the “sad conclusion” that the only path to true equality among the species is the establishment of free elections to choose the members of The Park’s governing body (the 35 Archons who serve a one-year term).
“I had always hoped otherwise, but it appears that we have let tensions among the different species interfere with our good sense. The only way that I can see to stop the ongoing erosion of the principles of zoocracy is to establish a system in which we choose our leaders directly,” he says.
Although CASP president Antoine Lézard claims he was “stunned” by Cheetah’s announcement, media-watchers say they saw it coming, after Cheetah sat down for an interview last month with Toro Talk Radio host Yannis Tavros. In that interview, they say, Cheetah hinted at his change of allegiance.
“Speaking on behalf of a beleaguered group, that is striped and spotted Animals,” Cheetah said to Tavros, “I believe there are political solutions to the problems that, in the past, we have been too timid to consider,” he said.
Although he refused to elaborate on his thoughts during that interview, many believed that Cheetah was advocating the end of sortition.
CASP’s Lézard, who is himself a striped Animal, says he believes that Cheetah’s “realization” will influence many Park Animals to seriously consider the issue.
“We all understand what a very difficult situation we are in, since sortition was the method of governing that our founder, Jor, established. But we may have reached the point at which we have to consider other options. The Park has matured in the many years since zoocracy was established, but our political system has not kept pace,” he says.
Park Post Office issued this stamp in 2011 to commemorate Jor, The Park’s First Leader
The speeches were long, the weather was frigid, and the musicians packed up too soon, but as Animals gathered yesterday to honour Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy, what was most on their minds was the sustainability of our way of life and the future of Animal self-rule.
“I have high hopes for zoocracy, but not for the system we’ve put in place to run it,” said Antoine Lézard, president of the Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP).
“I think it’s high time we realized that we are mature enough to elect our own leaders, rather than have some lottery pick them.”
Lézard’s view was echoed by many who attended the celebration. Indeed, a recent poll conducted by the Department of Statistics and Records in conjunction with the Department of Political Administration, showed that almost fifty per cent of Park citizens think some form of change in the political system would be helpful.
Despite that result, Sylvana Rana, president of Save Our Political System (SOPS), insists that the present system of sortition works best and, in her words, “is the only thing that protects us from becoming a Human-like society.”
“We’ve seen what goes on in societies that have elections. It’s not only the elections that are the problem; it’s what goes on beforehand … the manipulation, the lying, the cheating. What is superior about that? At least, with sortition, we know that we all have an equal chance to participate and we come to the job in an honest fashion. I see no need to change anything,” she said.
But despite the discussion among Park citizens, there is no evidence that the 2015 Archons plan to make any changes, at least not in the first half of their term.
“They [the Archons] are focused on the economy and dealing with inequality. The present system was established by Jor and there are no plans on the table to discuss its reform,” says the Archons’ press secretary, Balthasar Alouatta.
Valentina Abeja has signed on to be PFO head for next two years
Moving swiftly on the matter of preparing a budget for the current year, the 2015 Archons announced today that Valentina Abeja will assume the rôle of head of the Park Finance Office for at least the next two years.
At a press conference held this morning, the Archons’ press secretary Balthasar Alouatta confirmed the appointment, saying, “The 2015 Archons and the Park Finance Office are delighted that Valentina Abeja has agreed to take on the onerous task of preparing a suitable budget for The Park. We will welcome her officially on February 15th and we look forward to working with her.”
Abeja, Alouatta emphasized, arrives with impressive credentials.
“She has significant financial as well as Animal skills,” he said, “having she spent the past few years working as an analyst at The Park’s All Species Credit and Commercial Bank (ASCCB).”
Abeja will succeed Milton Struts, whose tenure lasted more than six years, but who was relieved of his duties this past November after a series of scandals related to his allegedly accepting food from Humans and using his position of influence to encourage Human tourism in The Park. Struts is currently the subject of an investigation headed by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon.
See also:
Reaction to 2015 “streamlined” budget: from outrage to high praise
Struts out; new budget to be tabled in November
For the fourth year in a row, Yannis Tavros will host his “Pundits’ Parlour” on Tuesday, February 3.
Toro Talk Radio programming director Manfred Stier confirmed today that The Park’s best known political pundits will again express their views on our incoming government on Tavros’s popular show.
“Yannis [Tavros] will once again relinquish his usual talk show format to moderate what has become a very popular annual forum,” Stier said.
This year’s guests include Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy at the University of West Terrier, historian and author Pieter Paard, Professor Ludwiga Saimiri of the Cuthbert School of Journalism, UWT Law Professor Fionnula L. Fox, Park Historical Society President Clark Cascanueces, UWT Professor of History Beatrice Zilonis, and Gertrude C. Owl, Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent and Dean of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Also invited back are Ronald Grouse, chief political analyst at The Avian Messenger, Yuri Sturgeon of The Kaluga Register, Camlin “Cayuga” Newt of The Salamander Evening Post, and Noreen, Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct Professor of Human Studies.
Tavros also reached out to beleaguered Rodent Commoner reporter Gunnar Rotte to join the group, Stier said, but thus far has had no response. Rotte has agreed to speak about his recent experiences on Tavros’s show, but no date has yet been set.
BREAKING NEWS
Just hours after the swearing-in ceremonies of the 2015 Archons, Park Police have been called to the offices of The Mammalian Daily as a large protest against the newspaper grows outside the main door.
“We don’t know what it’s all about yet, but the protesters all appear to be holding the same photograph of [Rodent Commoner reporter] Gunnar Rotte,” said Officer Gareth Shepherd, minutes after arriving at the scene.
Witnesses who had been there earlier said the protest began with two Rats who were holding signs and shouting profanities, calling the newspaper “specist and petty” and threatening to destroy it.
“I thought they were friends of Gunnar [Rotte], but they said they didn’t even know him. It was the principle that mattered … and the paper had broken faith with its readers,” said Marcellus Wolverine.
Log onto mammaliandaily.com for new details as this story unfolds.
The names of the 35 Animals who will form The Park’s 2015 government have been released.
In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons was posted at the Law Courts early this morning, an hour after the selection was certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.
The list will remain posted at the Law Courts until the end of the week so that Park citizens and residents may review the names, Archon Transition Team spokesAnimal N.V. Hoatzin told The Mammalian Daily.
Readers of this newspaper need look no further than the bottom of this article, however. The Mammalian Daily is the only Park newspaper given permission to publish the list of names.
The 35 Animals, who were selected to be Archons through the process of sortition, will be sworn in at a ceremony that will take place tomorrow morning at 10:00. Tens of thousands of Park citizens are expected to attend the swearing-in ceremony, which will be held at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre. As well, many thousands more will be able to watch the event on television. The Park Broadcasting Corporation (PBC), which holds exclusive rights to the swearing-in ceremony, will once again dedicate its entire morning programming schedule to the event.
ARCHONS – 2015
Cuckoo, Abayomi Tanishia (Chief Archon)
Acarina, Mareike; Anaconda, Marta Julianna; Aucklet, Brandon; Bittern, Emma Gunvor; Blenny, Sibyl; Caiman, Iphigeneia; Crab, Daimhin; Flatworm, Ilona; Frog, Rafferty Xenophon; Kangaroo, Sheila; Lisko, Hennika; Minnow, Agnes Thérèse; Musling, Ingeborg; Newt, Aldert Filippus; Ostrich, Oliver Lionel (Ollie); Otter, Aednat; Otter, Oscar Rinaldo; Possum, Prunella; Python, Zaiman Fabienne; Roadrunner, Reva; Rotta, Hali Götilda; Salamander, Ailukka; Sargo, Uwe; Scorpion, Gordon Anthony; Seahorse, Mannfred Otto; Shark, Bertrand; Shrike, Viðólfur; Starfish, Sofia Triinu; Tanager, Kornelia; Toad, Esmerelda; Tortuga, Monserrat; Wahoo, Oktaviana; Wallaby, Harrison Xavier; Zeteki, Bogden
The names of the 35 Animals who will form The Park’s 2015 government will be released tomorrow.
In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons will be posted at the Law Courts early tomorrow morning, an hour after the selection is certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.
The Mammalian Daily will publish the list on its web site as soon as it is made public.
A failed budget, citizen unrest, poverty, threats to safety, interspecial tension …
The list of The Park’s problems is long but the shorter one, it appears, is that of the accomplishments of the 2014 Archons.
“Things looked so promising … with [Chief Archon] Buckminster Moose and his take-charge attitude. We thought he could really set The Park straight,” said Ronald Grouse, chief political analyst at The Avian Messenger during an interview on CLucK Radio yesterday.
“But then he disappeared. He faded into the background and all The Park’s problems came to the fore. I think it’s safe to say that we’ve had no actual leaders this year.”
Grouse isn’t the only one who feels this way. The results of a survey conducted last month by the Livingstone School of Economics and Social Science at the University of West Terrier indicate that Park Animals are even more disillusioned by the 2014 government than they were by the government of 2013.
“Last year, respondents were disappointed. This year, it appears, they are also angry,” says Dr. Anneliese Cissa, the Livingstone School’s head.
“They feel The Park is stagnating and even more, that perhaps zoocracy isn’t working. And there is a surprising amount of support for a change in the way we choose governments,” she says.
While Dr. Cissa stopped short of criticizing sortition (the current method of selecting a government), she did say she thought Park Animals might be ready for a “free and full” discussion of other options.
Meanwhile, all 35 of the 2014 Archons are in seclusion for the next few days, awaiting the announcement of the names of their successors and, possibly, re-fashioning their legacy while there is still time.
