The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

OTD in 2015—Archons move on budget, appoint new head of Park Finance Office

By

Bee 2012 A1Moving swiftly on the matter of preparing a budget for the current year, the 2015 Archons announced today that Valentina Abeja will assume the rôle of head of the Park Finance Office for at least the next two years.

At a press conference held this morning, the Archons’ press secretary Balthasar Alouatta confirmed the appointment, saying, “The 2015 Archons and the Park Finance Office are delighted that Valentina Abeja has agreed to take on the onerous task of preparing a suitable budget for The Park. We will welcome her officially on February 15th and we look forward to working with her.”

Abeja, Alouatta emphasized, arrives with impressive credentials.

“She has significant financial as well as Animal skills,” he said, “having she spent the past few years working as an analyst at The Park’s All Species Credit and Commercial Bank (ASCCB).”

Abeja will succeed Milton Struts, whose tenure lasted more than six years, but who was relieved of his duties this past November after a series of scandals related to his allegedly accepting food from Humans and using his position of influence to encourage Human tourism in The Park. Struts is currently the subject of an investigation headed by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon.

See also:

Reaction to 2015 “streamlined” budget: from outrage to high praise
Struts out; new budget to be tabled in November 

OTD in 2014—Your government needs YOU: Archons, PFO to host pre-budget consultations

By

New budgetWith little more than six weeks to go before their term ends, the 2014 Archons have decided to consult Park citizens before they release the revised version of the 2015 budget.

At a press conference yesterday, press secretary to the Archons Balthasar Alouatta confirmed that the Archons, in conjunction with the Park Finance Office (PFO), will be hosting a “consultation event” at the Wishing Well between 10:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. both days this weekend.

“They felt it was important for them to hear what citizens and residents had to say regarding funding in the new year,” Alouatta said. “There have been so many complaints and our last budget was so controversial, it seemed appropriate to take it directly to Park Animals.”

After former Park Finance Officer Milton Struts was relieved of his duties last month, the Archons were expected to table a new budget by the end of November. But that has proven impossible for a number of reasons and the decision was taken to consult “those who are most affected by the budget.”

“The idea of consulting the populace originated with the Archons even though, as the de facto heads of the Park Finance Office, they are ultimately responsible for the budget,” Alouatta said.

“They want to hear what Park Animals have to say, but make no mistake. The budget stops with them,” he said.

OTD in 2015—PFO head Valentina Abeja: “A budget is a very emotional thing.”

By

Valentina AbejaSpeaking candidly in an interview with Toro Talk Radio’s Yannis Tavros on Monday, the head of the Park Finance Office explained the delay in tabling a 2015 budget:

“A budget is a very emotional thing,” said Valentina Abeja, whose two-year tenure as PFO head began February 15.

“A budget speaks to every Animal’s priorities and hopes for the future, every Animal’s identification with its own species and our collective desires for all Park citizens. The PFO head needs to be mindful of the needs and aspirations of each and every one, while acknowledging the immense diversity of The Park’s citizenry.”

Asked whether the delay in tabling a budget would affect The Park’s economy, Abeja’s demeanour changed dramatically, from one of openness to one that Tavros later described as “more befitting a leader.”

“I can tell you that we have in no way jeopardized The Park’s economy by our thoughtfulness and caution,” she said bluntly. “I have tremendous faith in the resilience of our economy and in our citizenry,” she concluded.

PFO head’s remark hints at new attitude to tourism promotion

By

2015 Budget

 

In an interview yesterday with reporter Alfonsina Cavalletta of the Serangga Star Adviser, the head of the Park Finance Office (PFO) said she believed that tourism is “organic” and may not require much help from officials.

In response to a question about the promotion of tourism in The Park, Valentina Abeja said she believed that “tourism is an organic force and it builds on itself and from itself.”

Later in the interview, Abeja, who took office in February of this year, expanded on her views regarding tourism and its importance to The Park.

“I’ve listened to many of our shopkeepers over the past few months and they say they believe strongly that tourism is irrelevant to their bottom line. In some cases, I must say that I agree with them. In other cases, I think we could improve on our past ventures. I think we need to promote ourselves to a different kind of Human, as well as to domestic Animals. I think we missed the mark there. Perhaps if we bypass the Humans altogether and go directly to their Animal companions, we will attract a more profitable tourist. As it stands, however, our attempts have not yielded significant gains. I believe we need to revisit this area entirely,” she said.

Abeja will present the 2016 Park Budget in August.

PFO head Valentina Abeja: “A budget is a very emotional thing.”

By

Valentina Abeja

Park Finance Office head Valentina Abeja

Speaking candidly in an interview with Toro Talk Radio’s Yannis Tavros on Monday, the head of the Park Finance Office explained the delay in tabling a 2015 budget:

“A budget is a very emotional thing,” said Valentina Abeja, whose two-year tenure as PFO head began February 15.

“A budget speaks to every Animal’s priorities and hopes for the future, every Animal’s identification with its own species and our collective desires for all Park citizens. The PFO head needs to be mindful of the needs and aspirations of each and every one, while acknowledging the immense diversity of The Park’s citizenry.”

Asked whether the delay in tabling a budget would affect The Park’s economy, Abeja’s demeanour changed dramatically, from one of openness to one that Tavros later described as “more befitting a leader.”

“I can tell you that we have in no way jeopardized The Park’s economy by our thoughtfulness and caution,” she said bluntly. “I have tremendous faith in the resilience of our economy and in our citizenry,” she concluded.

PFO head on 2015 budget: “We can’t have tomorrow’s lunch today.”

By

pie chart

PFO head Abeja: “We can’t have tomorrow’s lunch today.”

The head of the Park Finance Office has a message for Animals who, she says, may have unrealistic expectations of the 2015 budget.

“We can’t have tomorrow’s lunch today,” she said in a Mammalian Daily Radio interview this morning.

Valentina Abeja, who took office less than a month ago, was responding to a question by a listener about a “more equitable” budget.

Abeja said that after spending the past two weeks mulling over the results of the December public consultations on the budget, she had “renewed faith in the goodness of The Park’s population.”

Still, she cautioned that many of the items that Park Animals listed as “important” or “essential” will be impossible to include in the next two budgets for which she is responsible.

“I would say unequivocally that the future will be rosier, but I am dealing with the present and we have to rein in our expectations,” she replied.

As we are already into the third month of the year, Abeja said her first priority is to present a feasible budget.

“After that, we will have longer to think about 2016 and how to meet both our economic and political goals,” she said.

Archons move on budget, appoint new head of Park Finance Office

By

Bee 2012 A1

Valentina Abeja has signed on to be PFO head for next two years

Moving swiftly on the matter of preparing a budget for the current year, the 2015 Archons announced today that Valentina Abeja will assume the rôle of head of the Park Finance Office for at least the next two years.

At a press conference held this morning, the Archons’ press secretary Balthasar Alouatta confirmed the appointment, saying, “The 2015 Archons and the Park Finance Office are delighted that Valentina Abeja has agreed to take on the onerous task of preparing a suitable budget for The Park. We will welcome her officially on February 15th and we look forward to working with her.”

Abeja, Alouatta emphasized, arrives with impressive credentials.

“She has significant financial as well as Animal skills,” he said, “having she spent the past few years working as an analyst at The Park’s All Species Credit and Commercial Bank (ASCCB).”

Abeja will succeed Milton Struts, whose tenure lasted more than six years, but who was relieved of his duties this past November after a series of scandals related to his allegedly accepting food from Humans and using his position of influence to encourage Human tourism in The Park. Struts is currently the subject of an investigation headed by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon.

See also:

Reaction to 2015 “streamlined” budget: from outrage to high praise
Struts out; new budget to be tabled in November 

Your government needs YOU: Archons, PFO to host pre-budget consultations

By

New budgetWith little more than six weeks to go before their term ends, the 2014 Archons have decided to consult Park citizens before they release the revised version of the 2015 budget.

At a press conference yesterday, press secretary to the Archons Balthasar Alouatta confirmed that the Archons, in conjunction with the Park Finance Office (PFO), will be hosting a “consultation event” at the Wishing Well between 10:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. both days this weekend.

“They felt it was important for them to hear what citizens and residents had to say regarding funding in the new year,” Alouatta said. “There have been so many complaints and our last budget was so controversial, it seemed appropriate to take it directly to Park Animals.”

After former Park Finance Officer Milton Struts was relieved of his duties last month, the Archons were expected to table a new budget by the end of November. But that has proven impossible for a number of reasons and the decision was taken to consult “those who are most affected by the budget.”

“The idea of consulting the populace originated with the Archons even though, as the de facto heads of the Park Finance Office, they are ultimately responsible for the budget,” Alouatta said.

“They want to hear what Park Animals have to say, but make no mistake. The budget stops with them,” he said.

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

Join TMD on Facebook

Join TMD on Facebook

Click below to see what others say about us

CATCH UP HERE!

May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031