Original Publication Date: 30 March 2014

After experiencing delays, underfunding, and the resignations of two of its directors, The Park’s new Centre for Interspecial Harmony (CIH) finally opened its doors yesterday afternoon.

The CIH is the brainchild of Dewi Rhinoceros, who is now the Chair of its Board of Directors. It was her 2013 term as Chief Archon that was partly to blame for the opening’s delay.

“Once I found out that I’d been appointed [Chief Archon], I knew I wouldn’t have the time to put into the Centre that I wanted to,” she said yesterday.

While she put the project on hold for the year, she and her fellow Archons instituted “Stereotype Sundays” as a way of  achieving the goal that is most dear to her heart: fostering harmony among all the species of Animals in The Park. This is, not coincidentally, the mission of the Centre for Interspecial Harmony.

“‘Stereotype Sundays’ was just the beginning and more of a foundation,” Dewi said. ” With them, we introduced the notion of openness and our willingness to look realistically at what we might be thinking about each other.”

The CIH plans to build on that foundation by running educational programmes, hosting events, and funding research projects in association with the University of West Terrier.

“Now that we’ve achieved self-government, we might think we can just sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labour. But there is so much work to be done to ensure the health and well-being of zoocracy and, I believe, attending to interspecial harmony may be the most important work of all,” said Dewi.

The Centre for Interspecial Harmony is open seven days a week from 10:00 to 21:00. 

Original Publication Date: 11 March 2014

It’s a bold idea that is sure to make waves. And, this morning, managing editor Orphea Haas confirmed that The Mammalian Daily is coming on board.

“That is music to our ears,” said Alvin Tinamou, publisher of The Avian Messenger and one of the organizers of The Park’s “Month Without Metaphor.”

The media-wide initiative, which is set to run for the entire month of May, promises to shake up what many regard as a moribund industry. And as of yesterday, almost ninety percent of The Park’s newspapers and magazines had agreed to participate in Tinamou’s “Grand Resuscitation.” The Mammalian Daily is the largest and latest to do so.

“We’re thrilled about it,” said Tinamou in an interview this afternoon. “The Mammalian Daily is such an influential paper in The Park and their participation gives us another quiver in our arsenal.”

The idea of the initiative, Tinamou says, is to “tell it like it really is…no embellishments, no idiotic comparisons, no ridiculous painting of pictures for the reading public. Just the facts. We think they’re enough. And not only do we think the facts are enough, we think all this metaphorical reporting is obscuring those facts and distracting our readers’ attention from the important issues. What we need is clarity, particularly during these challenging times, and we very much look forward to seeing how our readers react to being offered a month of just plain facts.”

The Park’s media-wide “Month Without Metaphor” will run from May 1-31, 2014.

Original Publication Date: 11 April 2016

First quarter results indicate that the Park Finance Office (PFO) did the right thing when it listened to the business community this past Winter and allowed shops to stay open on Groundhog Eve and Groundhog Day.

“We are very grateful to the Park Finance Office and, in particular, to PFO head Valentina Abeja, for supporting our community so strongly,” said Wellington Whistlepig, president of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS), in a statement released by the Association today.

According to Whistlepig, Park businesses reported average profits of more than double those of the same period last year.

“This should convince the Archons, the PFO, and Park citizens that a permanent change should be made to the law,” the statement says.

That assertion could signal the start of another major battle in The Park, as the issue of allowing shops to open on Groundhog Day and other holidays has been a contentious one. Those on both sides have argued passionately, but the Archons and the PFO have been reluctant to make any permanent move.

Such a move would require a change in the law, which could only be made after the receipt of submissions from business and the citizenry, followed by a full and open debate, says Delia Quagga, head of the Barnaby School of Government at the University of West Terrier. And that, she says, could take years.

“I think this informal arrangement might be more beneficial than an overhaul of the law,” she said at the time the announcement was made about this year’s opening.

Others in The Park agree.

“We need to look at all the factors responsible for the rise in profit before we make any changes to the law,” says Xavier Dingo, chief financial analyst at A. Corn and Partners. “Much more study needs to be done.”

Original Publication Date: 10 October 2013

The Board of Governors of the Park Museum has come under fire for appearing to blame members of the Association of Professional Park Construction Workers (APPCW) for the ongoing strike at the museum.

In an open letter addressed to the museum’s future patrons, the Board contends that it has bargained “in good faith” and been conscientious about attending negotiations with the APPCW’s representatives. The letter appears on the museum’s web site.

“At no time did we threaten to void our contract with the Builders’ Guild (APPCW), as was reported, nor have we ever failed to attend negotiations. We believe that we have bargained in good faith with the members of the APPCW and, to the best of our ability, we have met members’ demands,” the letter begins.

Some critics, however, have accused the museum’s Board of Governors of “whitewashing” and some have even suggested the letter is a form of sabotage.

“I think they might be using that letter to bait the APPCW,” said Gareth Shepherd, Park Police Officer and President of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW).

“We’ve seen this kind of thing happen and it can turn very ugly,” he said.

Construction of the main building of the Park Museum ceased on September 14, when talks between the APPCW and the museum’s Board of Governors broke down. In the letter, the museum’s Board of Governors appears to blame APPCW members’ “demands” for the current impasse, something which Shepherd says is common tactical error.

“More often than not, it backfires,” he says. “[Their] use of the word ‘demand’ is the first indication that they are trying to sway public opinion with the letter, rather than just using it to inform future patrons of the delay. Their hope appears to be that donors and future patrons will place the blame for the delay and for escalating costs on these ‘demands’ rather than on both parties’ inability to come to an agreement.”

The full letter appears here.

Original Publication Date: 13 August 2015

The Park Museum and the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life (ISML) have ended their long battle over the establishment of a permanent home for one of The Park’s most iconic literary works.

The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat has been housed in a protected display in the lobby of the ISML since it was recovered in 2013 by workers excavating at the site of what is now The Park Museum. It had previously been displayed at the front of the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, until a storm toppled the display and it went missing.

Because the excavators brought their precious find to the Institute for verification, the ISML decided to keep the beloved Park tome and to display it in the Institute’s lobby. Early last year, however, as The Park Museum neared completion, its Board of Governors initiated a series of meetings with the ISML aimed at convincing them that the museum was the only logical place to house the AutoZOËography on a permanent basis.

“Every one of the 6,975 pages of her book is a part of Park history and the citizens of The Park deserve to be able to visit the work in the building that was constructed to house our history,”  Sukuta Rhinoceros, one of the founders of the Museum and a member of its Board, said at the time.

The ISML held fast to its view that it had the sole right to display the work until last week, when the two institutions came to a “joint custody” agreement.

“We are happy to report that both The Park Museum and the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life have agreed to act as joint official custodians of The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat, one of the most important works in Park history,” said a press release issued today by both institutions.

The agreement, which will be signed next week, names The Park Museum as the book’s official home, but allows it to be moved to the ISML for one month every Winter for the purpose of display and study. Throughout the other eleven months, the ISML will display a facsimile in the space that it built for the book two years ago.

According to sources close to both institutions, the agreement was hammered out late Sunday night, with the assistance of the Park Historical Society and members of a number of faculties and departments at the University of West Terrier.

“All parties are pleased with this agreement and we plan to move forward with the logistics as soon as possible,” the press release says.

The Park Museum’s press release may be read here.

Original Publication Date: 25 February 2014

The Park Museum is engaged in a contentious battle with The Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life over the establishment of a permanent home for one of The Park’s most iconic literary works.

The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat was written by Zoë, the sister of Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy. The book went missing ten years ago, but was discovered last July by workers excavating at the site of the new Park Museum.

After the workers alerted the ISML to the discovery, Chief Archaeologist Catriona Cairn-Terrier convinced the Institute’s Board of Governors to provide a home for the book there.

According to Cairn-Terrier, no discussion about a time frame for housing the book ever took place.

“Our decision was never challenged and we assumed that it was permanent. We sectioned off a part of our lobby and built a display case that would protect the book from deterioration. We did all this in full view of everyone and at no time did the Park Museum voice any complaints. Now, they want assurances that we will hand it over to them. Quite frankly, I don’t know why they think we would agree to that,” Cairn-Terrier says.

For its part, the Park Museum contends that it is “intuitively obvious” that the book should be housed at the Museum.

“ZoëCat was and is still revered in The Park as a great thinker and as an important influence on Jor and, therefore, on the development of modern zoocracy. Every one of the 6,975 pages of her book is a part of Park history and the citizens of The Park deserve to be able to visit the work in the building that was constructed to house our history,” says Sukuta Rhinoceros, one of the founders of the Museum and a member of its Board.

The autobiographical tome, which is filled with Zoë’s personal, political, and philosophical musings, was never formally published. The book that was found by the excavators is believed to be the only extant copy.

Original Publication Date: 2 February 2011

In a statement released today, The Mammalian Daily confirmed that it will be sending some of its reporters to blog live from The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations on 2 February.

“The Mammalian Daily is seeking to amplify the amount of fun of Park residents at the annual Groundhog Day Festival by hosting a live blog to report on events as they happen in different areas of The Park. This should allow our residents to enjoy virtually everything the Festival has to offer this year,” part of the statement read.
This is the second year that the newspaper has committed a part of its staff to reporting live from the annual celebration.

According to a TMD spokesanimal, the blog was up and running as of 26 January. The blog can be found at: http://www.groundhogdayinthepark.wordpress.com

Original Publication Date: 30 July 2012

An investigation that revealed significant irregularities in The Park’s banking system has prompted a special meeting of the Archons this afternoon.

According to Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, the purpose of the meeting is to discuss the implications of the results of an investigation conducted by The Park Finance Office (PFO) into the internal activities of several of The Park’s major banks.

Files obtained by The Mammalian Daily indicate that the Monotreme Savings Bank (MSB), the Arthropod Commercial Bank (ACB) and the Founding Families Financial Corporation (FFFC) are alleged to have engaged in a system of internal lending that violates the PFO’s rules of conduct and puts the value of some customer deposits at risk.

At a press conference held early this morning, Alouatta refused to comment on rumours that the three banks have been lending funds to each other in one curency only: Ftoo.

If the rumour is true, say financial experts, it could have a major effect on financial institutions and on life in general for residents of The Park.

“If that is what they are doing, then they effectively have established an official currency in The Park and exchanged funds accordingly,” says Sierpinski Squirrel, Chief Financial Officer of A. Corn and Partners and author of Tools for Trade: Ten Strategies for Expanding The Park’s Economy.

The Park does not currently have an official currency and the establishment of one in law would require the usual unanimous agreement of the Archons.

“If these rumours are true,” says Sierpinski, “it means the banks, essentially, have usurped the power of the Archons and assumed the role of government. That would be a very serious and dangerous situation for us to find ourselves in,” he says.

Original Publication Date: 17 January 2012

For the first time in its history, The University of West Terrier is asking those outside the institution for their support.

In a statement released today, the Governors of the University respectfully requested “a little help from our friends”:

As is the case currently with almost all academic institutions, UWT is having trouble meeting its financial commitments. These commitments, of course, constitute our academic commitments.  We, therefore, are asking for a little help from our friends. If you or your friends are UWT alumni, please consider purchasing our new commemorative mug. If you reside inside The Park, show your commitment to higher education by doing the same. If you reside outside The Park, remember your friends of all species and order a mug to support their future. Do it for yourself, do it for your family, do it for your friends. Do it for the future. We’ll all be better off for it.

Thank you.”

The purchase of UWT Commemorative Mugs is supported by The Mammalian Daily. If you are interested in acquiring one or more mugs, please email us at orders@mammaliandaily.com.