• Home
  • About The Mammalian Daily
    • TMD 101: A quick guide to reading The Mammalian Daily
    • A note about our style
  • Welcome to The Park
    • About The Park
    • Past and Present Archons
  • Park Life
    • Educational Institutions
      • University of West Terrier
      • Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life
      • Leonardo Language and Culture Institute
      • The Hani Gajah School of Art
      • Park School of Aesthetics
    • Shops and Retail
    • Restaurants and Pubs
    • Financial Institutions
      • Currency
    • Health & Well-Being
      • Hospitals and Clinics
      • Directory of Park Health Services
    • Grooming Houses
      • Amoltrud’s Aesthetics
      • En Garde Hair and Skin Salon
      • Halcyon Days Canine Coiffure
      • KwikLiks
      • Tallulah’s Toilettage
      • The Mane Event
      • The Pluming Room
    • Park Services
      • Architects and Construction Services
      • Employment Service
      • Entertainment and Party Services
      • Financial Services
      • Home Services
      • Image and Consulting Services
      • Legal Services
      • Park-Sponsored Programmes
      • Personal Services
      • Real Estate Services
      • Translation Services
      • Travel & Transportation Services
    • Charities
    • Citizen Aid & Action Associations
      • Associations, Federations, and Alliances
      • Political Reform Groups
      • Environmental Groups
      • Immigrant and Citizen Aid Groups
      • Education Groups
    • Sports
  • Arts in The Park
    • Art Galleries in The Park
    • Theatres and Cinemas
    • Music Makers
    • The Barkettes
      • History and Legacy of The Barkettes
      • Thisbe and the Barkettes Celebrate 10 Years of Sensational Singing Success
      • Olden Goldies: Noreen Interviews The Barkettes
      • Thisbe and The Barkettes: Hits and Recordings
    • The Library
    • Book Reviews
  • Media in The Park
    • Newspapers
    • Magazines
    • Radio Stations
    • Television Stations
    • Publishing Companies
    • Mammalian Daily Associated News Services
  • Fun
    • Take Our Quick Quizzes!
    • See Our Ads
      • A Different Reality
      • Fake News
      • Financial Crisis
      • Liquid Assets
      • Monkey See
      • Solid Ground
      • Who We Are
      • Think Outside the Book

The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen
  • Breaking News
    • NewsBits
    • Whoa! Braking News
  • Politics/Law/Crime
    • Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction
    • Past and Present Archons
  • Economy and Business
  • Education
  • Health and Medicine
    • Media
      • Month Without Metaphor
  • Focus on
  • Science and Technology
  • Arts, Entertainment, and Culture
    • Park Life
      • Ask a Poodle
      • Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM)
      • Passings
      • Gossip and Rumour
    • Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF)
    • PIFF Piffle
    • Thisbe and the Barkettes
  • Noreen
    • Dear Noreen Advice Columns
  • Sports
    • Let’s Talk Balls!
  • Interviews
    • Five Questions For…
    • Survivor Profiles
  • Archives
    • Wednesday Rewind
    • Nostalgia
    • From the Vault

Excitement, controversy attend opening of Summer Games

September 23, 2013 By Ronan Kanga, TMD Sports Reporter

ISG 2013 opening ceremonies

The Park is in a state of heightened anticipation as the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games enter their first day. The opening ceremonies were held yesterday afternoon.

The excitement in The Park was palpable, as the opening ceremonies of the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games began yesterday afternoon.

The ISG Committee was treated to hoots, woofs, brays, and just about as many jeers as cheers as it made its way onto the field. But the response to the procession of athletes was one hundred per cent positive and seemed to leave every Animal in The Park in a festive mood.

“I can’t wait for the events to start,” said Mairéad Gabhar. These are her first Interspecial Summer Games and she had high praise for all the athletes, but “especially the Canines.”

“I have so much respect for them, the way they set aside their differences for the Games,” she said.

Indeed, the Canine athletes were greeted on the field as if they were royalty. And that’s no surprise; until early Saturday morning, no one thought they would see a Canine in these Games. But thanks to the mediation skills of Delwyn Terrier, founding partner of Terrier, Terrier, Wolfhound and Shepherd, the CAA and the ISG Committee agreed to revisit their dispute after the closing ceremonies.

“We were committed and we worked non-stop until we came to an accommodation,” said Terrier, a former athlete himself and an avid sports fan.

Details of the agreement between the two parties have not been released, but rumours posted on the gossip web site headsNtales imply that the next Park swimming competition will include the Dog paddle among the competitive strokes.

Appearing tired but happy at the opening ceremonies, CAA President Alexandre Caniche would not comment on the rumours, but did acknowledge that some progress had been made over the weekend.

“I wouldn’t say it was a win, but I’d say we’ve come closer than we ever have to getting the job done,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Sports

CAA threatens to boycott Interspecial Summer Games

September 19, 2013 By Ronan Kanga, TMD Sports Reporter

2013 Interspecial Summer Games

The Canine Athletic Association is threatening to keep its athletes home from the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games. The Games are scheduled to begin September 22

The Canine Athletic Association is threatening a last-minute boycott of the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games.

“We will pull all our athletes from the Games unless our demands to reinstate the Dog Paddle as a competitive swimming stroke are met,” CAA President Alexandre Caniche advised in a statement released early this morning.

The Dog Paddle has not been used in any official Park swimming competitions since the establishment of zoocracy 31 years ago. The Canine Athletic Association has spent the last seven years fighting to reinstate it as a competitive swimming stroke. Earlier this month, the CAA lost its most recent battle, when the ISG Committee decided against reinstating the stroke in time for the 2013 Games.

Today’s statement is the strongest on record, with Caniche alleging on behalf of the Association that “specism” was a factor in the decision-making. He also called for a full investigation of the ISG Committee members.

If the CAA decides to follow through with its threat, it will have a detrimental effect on the Games, say sports commentators and representatives of the Park Broadcasting Corporation, the official broadcaster of the 2013 Games.

“Canine athletes compete in almost every sport in the Games and they have an avid following both inside and outside The Park. Without Canines in the field and in the water, we will have a much smaller audience and, to be frank, a far less interesting — and fair — competition,” a PBC spokesAnimal told The Mammalian Daily.

Asked in a radio interview this afternoon whether there were dissenters among the Association’s ranks, Caniche demurred, then answered that members “had not been polled recently on specific matters.”

“Our membership has been united in this fight for over seven years and I have no reason to believe that has changed. In any case, all Canine athletes in The Park are required to be members of our Association, so the point is moot. No Canine will be competing in the Summer Games if the CAA calls a boycott,” he said.

The Interspecial Summer Games are scheduled to begin on September 22 and run until October 1.

See also:

CAA renews campaign to “Bring Back the Dog Paddle!”
CAA steps up pressure on Summer Games committee
CAA to ISG: “This is not the Dog paddle we asked for!”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Sports

Rapper Will.o.be. to Park’s estivators: “Welcome back!”

September 16, 2013 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Beats of Burden Music Festival logo

Famous Park rapper Will.o.be. opened the first annual Beats of Burden Music Festival on Saturday with a tribute to The Park’s estivating population.

As the rapper leapt to the stage amid almost deafening cheers, he stopped to bow to a group of estivators at the front of the crowd.

“I’m as happy as everybody else is that The Park’s entire population is present and accounted for and ready to roar,” he said. Then he turned his microphone toward the obviously enthusiastic audience and exhorted them to “Roar! Roar! Roar!”

And roar they did, through his opening set, three encores and even when he was brought back to perform with the music festival’s founders, The Beasts of Burden.

“This is the most fantastic audience I’ve ever had,” the rapper said, and the Beasts’ lead singer Alfredo Ox concurred.

“You amaze me!” he shouted.

“If I ever get down on things…or think things are impossible, I will think of this weekend and the turnout that we’re getting and how much we care about each other in The Park. I know that the words ‘Thank You’ are not enough, but they will have to do for now, until we have time to write you all a song of thanks,” he said.

The Beasts then performed one of their biggest hits, “The Day the Oxen Rose,” after dedicating it to “the beneficiaries of this festival…The Park’s refugees.”

The Beats of Burden Music Festival continues until tonight. All proceeds from the festival (including related clothing and other products) will go toward aiding The Park’s refugees.

Filed Under: Breaking News, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Bitter Litter Pictures offers a preview of PIFF 2013

September 15, 2013 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Filed Under: Breaking News, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Click on the PIFF logo!

September 14, 2013 By TMD Reporters

Park Interspecial Film Festival

Click on our logo!

Filed Under: Breaking News

Music fest under fire for selling products to Humans

September 11, 2013 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Beats of BurdenwareThe organizers of the first annual Beats of Burden music festival have come under fire for creating and selling products that are specifically geared to Human consumers.

At a rally held this afternoon outside the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, members of groups that aid The Park’s refugees, as well as Park artists and shopkeepers, marched around the theatre, chanting their disapproval of what they call the festival organizers’ “outrageously offensive” decision.

“This is an incredible betrayal,” said Dorika Pumi, who curated The Park’s first art installation at The Park Museum of Contemporary Art. Entitled, “How Much Was That Doggie in the Window?” the installation has been described as “a living, breathing, depiction” of the horror of enforced domestication of Canines by Humans.

“I can tell you honestly that this is the last thing that we, as an organization, believed would ever happen,” said Vizsla Hoover of Runaway Rovers. Hoover’s group, which was involved in the art installation, assists Canines who have escaped enforced domestication.

“After years of working with refugees who have suffered tremendously at the hands of Humans, I am shocked that they [the festival organizers] saw fit to pander to them just for the sake of money,” she said.

Hoover is one of many in The Park’s immigrant and refugee aid community who is calling for the organizers to cease creating products for and selling those products to Humans.

“I looked at the catalogue and the number of products geared to Humans was almost equal to those for Animals,” Hoover said. “It is appalling.”

For their part, the music festival’s organizers say only that they believe many of the products offered for sale can be used by “any species.”

“We have offered a variety of products for sale in support of The Park’s refugee community. We have tried to be inclusive of all species and we believe we have been successful, in that many of these products have universal appeal. We do not, however, believe it is our job to determine which products should be geared to which species. That would undermine our intent, which is to service the Park community across its entire spectrum,” a festival statement said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Nut Bar becomes PIFF 2013 official sponsor of “Mixed Nuts”

September 7, 2013 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

The Nut Bar has assumed official sponsorship of the film version of “Mixed Nuts,” which will have its premiere screening this October during PIFF 2013.

In a joint statement released this morning, The Nut Bar and Lodgepole Productions confirmed that an agreement of sponsorship had been reached.

“We are delighted to announce the collaboration between The Nut Bar and Lodgepole Productions in bringing this wonderful film home to The Park this October. We look forward to having the opportunity to present the film and to interact with audience members during The Park Interspecial Film Festival,” the statement read in part.

This is the first time that the venerable Park shop has sponsored a film.

“We thought it was a perfect fit, so we approached them last year,” said the film’s producer, Victoria Sciurini.

“They didn’t need much convincing, though. It turns out they’re big fans of Millicent [Hayberry, the film’s star] and they’ve been terrific about the whole process. They are a very generous company,” she said.

“Mixed Nuts” will screen at The Park Cinema on Oct 2 and 3, 2013.

The Park Interspecial Film Festival Runs from October 1-5, 2013.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

CAA to ISG: “This is not the Dog paddle we asked for!”

September 3, 2013 By Ronan Kanga, TMD Sports Reporter

This is not the Dog paddle the CAA asked for

It appears that the Canine Athletic Association has lost its bid to reinstate the Dog paddle as a competitive swimming stroke. The ISG 2013 Committee has, however, given the green light to Dog paddling in a canoe across the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond.

The Canine Athletic Association has lost its bid to have the Dog paddle reinstated as a competitive swimming stroke in time for the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games.

In a statement released on Friday, well past the time the ISG 2013 Committee originally said it would announce its decision, the Committee wrote that there had not been enough time to examine all aspects of the issue and to evaluate the consequences of such a “bold decision.”

In an interview this morning on Canine Communications Radio, CAA President Alexandre Caniche called that a “ridiculous excuse.”

“I fail to see what the consequences would be,” he said. “And, truth be told, they’ve had over a year to deliberate. I would hardly call that not enough time. I also take issue with calling the reinstatement of the swimming stroke a ‘bold decision,'” he said.

In addition to the announcement nixing the Dog paddle stroke, the ISG Committee confirmed on Friday that the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games would be the first to include a Canine canoeing event across the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond.

While the CAA has refused to comment officially on that issue, President Caniche had strong words for the ISG Committee members:

“I would ask the Committee a simple question: who is to benefit from keeping the Dog paddle out of the competition? I would cautiously assert that the answer to that question might lead to a place the ISG Committee does not wish us to go.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Sports

The Promise of The Park: should we still believe?

August 29, 2013 By TMD Editorial Staff

The Promise of The ParkEDITORIAL
Over 31 years ago, the Animals who were resident in The Park took to the water, to the streets, and to the skies to celebrate the unlikeliest of events: the return of a piece of land to those who had inhabited it from its earliest days.

Though that victory was hard-won, we remain proud that it was not hard-fought. It was Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy, who declared that self-government should be achieved without violence.

“It is by the strength of our numbers and not of our teeth and claws that we will win back what is rightfully ours,” he proclaimed.

And so he led thousands of Animals out of the darkness of danger and subjugation into the light of peace and autonomy. Incorporating his long-held beliefs and newly-acquired understanding, he established a code of laws that he hoped would enable all manner of species to prosper, to find happiness, and most importantly, to live together peacefully in The Park.

But, even more than that, Jor established The Park as a sanctuary. The Park, he declared, would be a place where all Animals would be welcome, no matter who they were or whence they came, whether they were threatened or abused or simply seeking a new home. It would be a place where all Animals would be entitled to equal treatment and opportunity. And a host of opportunities there would be, for all who arrived here and for their descendants. This lofty goal was enshrined in law and it came to be known as “The Promise of The Park.”

Time has removed some of the shimmer from that promise, as time is wont to do. There have been breaches; infractions have been brought to light, the economy has become stagnant. And questions have been raised about our ability to live up to Jor’s ideals.

Questions are good. Questions lead not only to answers, but to insights. And they enable us to see ourselves as others see us. We should never be afraid of questions. But do we need to question The Promise of The Park, itself?

We don’t think so.

While law, The Promise of The Park is still an ideal, a goal, an aspiration. It is a work in progress, something that requires both regular tuning to work properly and respond to environmental changes and daily vigilance to ensure its safety in a hostile and uncertain world.

When The Promise is threatened, whether from outside or from within, our belief in ourselves and in our abilities is threatened. But our belief in The Promise never should be. Nor should we succumb to these threats; instead, we should renew our commitment to the ideals that are the foundation of The Park’s laws.

The Promise of The Park is intangible, but real. And we believe.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

September on our minds: mark your calendars!

August 25, 2013 By Elspeth Duper, TMD Social Events Reporter

September 2013The Park is a busy place in September, and this year, there’s even more to do and see and hear. So, The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on what’s on for September 2013.

Ready, set, mark your calendars!

Official end of estivation

End of EstivationIt’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!

Let the celebrations begin on September 14!

 

 

The Beats of Burden Music Festival

Beats of Burden logo

The 1st annual Beats of Burden Music Festival promises three days and three nights of continuous music-making, with all our great bands and singers performing in aid of The Park’s refugees. Expect some surprises (as well as surprise appearances) along with the great sounds. And don’t forget the fabulous food and all sorts of other fun. September 14-16.


 

2013 Interspecial Summer Games

2013 Interspecial Summer Games LOGOThey only happen once every six years and the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games promise to be the sporting event of the decade, with more events scheduled than ever before! Watch our Park athletes compete for medals in a wide array of sports on the field, in the sky or in the water. September 22-October 1.

 

The Park’s Semi-Annual “Shakeoff”

The Park's semi-annual "Shake for Charity" have changedIt’s all about Animals helping Animals at The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff.” The event encourages Animals to donate their hair in aid of those whose coats can’t protect them from the harsh elements. In addition to helping others, you can also partake of free refreshments and get a new hairstyle from one the event’s on-site groomers (gratis, of course!).

“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”   September 27

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Follow Us

  • X
  • Facebook
  • YouTube

Mammalian Daily-Related Sites

  • The Park Census
  • The Park Museum
  • The University of West Terrier

The Mammalian Daily on Twitter

  • Chef Tab Tricolore
  • Gunnar Rotte
  • Hieronymous Hedgehog
  • Mammalian Daily
  • Media's Month Without Metaphor
  • Millicent Hayberry
  • Noreen
  • Park Groundhog Day Celebrations
  • Pieter Paard
  • PIFF Reports
  • Yannis Tavros

Welcome to the Media Circus!

Looking for something?

Archives

How wise you are to read this newspaper!

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

TMD quick links

  • TMD 101: A quick guide to reading The Mammalian Daily
  • The Best of Noreen
  • Interviews
  • Take Our Quick Quizzes!
  • Nostalgia: Celebrating 1,000 articles!

Join TMD on Facebook

Join TMD on Facebook

Click below to see what others say about us

CATCH UP HERE!

December 2025
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Nov    

Contents Copyright © 2025 The Mammalian Daily