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OTD in 2016—Park shops get green light to stay open Groundhog Eve, Groundhog Day

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Groundhog Day specialsIn a stunning reversal of its longstanding policy, The Park Finance Office has given businesses the green light to remain open late on Groundhog Eve and into the early afternoon on Groundhog Day.

The news was announced simultaneously this morning by PFO head Valentina Abeja and by Wellington Whistlepig, president of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

In a separate announcement, Whistlepig praised Abeja for her willingness to listen and for her “forward thinking.”

“We are extremely pleased that the PFO has listened to our concerns and shifted its position on this issue. Groundhog Eve and Groundhog Day are not just a time for us to come together and celebrate. They hold enormous economic potential and we are grateful to the PFO’s forward thinking head for the opportunity to demonstrate that fact,” Whistlepig wrote.

In a radio interview this morning, Abeja said her decision to change the policy was based on practicality.

“In the past, we believed that if we allowed our shops to stay open, it would somehow take something away from the celebration of Groundhog Day. But after significant study of the issue, we came to the conclusion that that would not be the case,” she said.

Abeja also stressed the need for the PFO to view economic issues through the eyes of those on “the front lines of business.”

“It is our job to support Park business, not to stand in the way of opportunity.”

OTD in 2017—Fleck + Stone to host information session on 2017 Prognostication Pad

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Groundhog Day celebrationsFleck + Stone, the high-end architectural firm hired by The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations to design and build the 2017 prognostication pad, will host an information session for Park residents this weekend.

In a short press release this morning, the firm’s Chief Architect, Vadim Kobras, invited all Park residents to the information session which will be held on Saturday afternoon at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

“It is of utmost importance to the Fleck + Stone team that Park residents be in possession of all the facts surrounding the 2017 Groundhog Day prognostication pad,” the press release said. “We will be happy to answer any questions about the design and execution of this important piece of equipment.”

Although it didn’t directly address the controversy over the assumed high cost of the pad, the press release did imply that Park residents would see its value:

“The Fleck + Stone team is incredibly proud of the work it has done to help celebrate Groundhog Day in this very special year. We are confident that Park residents will be receptive to our design and will appreciate its uniqueness.”

The press release cum invitation ended with the words, “We were honoured to have been chosen for this job and we remain committed to supporting The Park and zoocracy in any way we can.” It was signed by the Chief Architect, himself.

According to sources close to the firm, Kobras will speak generally about the pad and building materials and go over some of the designs the team considered before fixing on the one that was built. No illustrations of the actual pad will be revealed, but Kobras is said to have also prepared a talk that deals with the history and significance of the prognostication pad.

The final design will be revealed in the early morning hours of Groundhog Day.

OTD in 2012—Chitter Radio rescues literary awards

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Chitter Radio, one of The Park’s most popular talk radio stations, has brought The Park Annual Literary Awards (PALA) back from the brink.

At a press conference this morning, Chitter President and C.E.O., Albana Ketri, confirmed that Radio 244883.7 (known as Chitter Radio) would assume full financial sponsorship of the Awards.

“We are delighted to announce that Chitter Radio will be the exclusive sponsor of the 2012 Park Annual Literary Awards. We look forward to forging a strong connection with the Awards and see this as a great opportunity to promote literacy both inside and outside The Park,” she said.

The Awards had previously been supported by The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, but budgetary constraints forced it to renege on its promise of funding for the 2012 season.

At the press conference, Ketri emphasized that Chitter Radio considers its association with PALA to be both a “privilege and a responsibility” and stated that Chitter Radio is “unequivocally committed”  to maintaining the high standards and integrity with which PALA is associated.

The Park Annual Literary Awards take place 15 June.

OTD in 2010—Park Postal Service issues first commemorative stamp

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The Park Postal Service introduced its first commemorative stamp yesterday. The stamp, which honours Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy, features a rarely-seen photograph of Jor. The caption reads, simply, “Our First Leader.”

The stamp carries a value of 55 in Cow currency (approximately .11 Ftoo) and will be available for purchase by 22 Proto.

This is the first time in its history that the Postal Service has issued commemorative stamps. According to a Postal Service spokesanimal, the decision was taken because it was felt that “such honours were long overdue.”

OTD in 2010: Groundhog Day fest victim of Park’s economic woes

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The mood is sombre in the office of Wyatt Whistlepig, Jr.

“No one envies me these days,” says the chief organizer of The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations.

Less than two weeks before one of the biggest events in The Park’s calendar, The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has slashed his budget, sending Whistlepig scrambling out of his hibernaculum to make sure this year’s celebrations properly reflect the tenor of the festivities.

“This holiday is a major Park occasion. It signals the coming of Spring, the renewal of life, the hope of the future. It is not just about a prediction; it is about a certainty — the certainty that we have survived, and that we will thrive, no matter what we face,” Whistlepig proclaims.

While Whistlepig says he “disputes” the notion that the celebration requires a big budget, he believes it is a mistake to tone down celebrations, particularly at a time of hardship.

“I don’t believe in restraint when it comes to celebrations. I think they [the Department] are underestimating the resilience of Park Animals. We will get through this [economic] tunnel and come out the other end. Saving a few Ftoo here and there is not going to make any difference to the outcome.”

Regardless of the size of the celebration, Whistlepig is confident that all Animals will enjoy the festivities.

“This is not a celebration to miss,” he says. “No matter how big or small, it is a very important part of The Park’s social season, and it speaks to our sense of ourselves as Park citizens. No one should miss it.”

Groundhog Day celebrations will begin 1 Barnabus with the prediction of 28 AZ POPS (Park Official Prognosticator of Spring), Elisabetta Mary Marmot. The prediction is expected to occur any time between 07:33 and 07:49. Following the sealing of the Proclamation, the Archons will deliver their annual Groundhog Day address. The Groundhog Day Parade is scheduled to begin at 08:30, followed by the 2-kilometre tunnel race. Food stations will remain open from 08:00 until 3:00.. The full Groundhog Day schedule will be posted at the Law Courts on 28 Proto.

OTD in 2016—Scented TV update: Animals remain hospitalized as investigations continue

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Vertebrate Vision TVEighty per cent of Park Animals who were hospitalized after watching a scented television show on December 27 remain in hospital, according to a joint update issued by the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm and the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS),

The Animals were among those who arrived at the hospital roughly a half-hour into the show’s broadcast on Vertebrate Vision Television (VVTV). Their symptoms included dizziness, vomiting, gastrointestinal problems, and hair loss.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like what happened here that night,” said Hermione Hippo, the Park Hospital’s head nurse, at a short press conference last week.

The holiday show was a joint project of VVTV, Chef Tab Tricolore, and gewper, The Park’s only scented social networking site. RhinoTech, Inc. and Enterprises Moufettes, S.A., the companies that supplied the show’s scent, now find themselves under investigation by the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), while VVTV launched its own investigation on December 28. The findings of that investigation are expected to be made public sometime in March, a VVTV spokesAnimal told The Mammalian Daily.

Meanwhile, the sickly cohort is expected to remain at the hospital at least until the middle of the month, Hippo says.

“They’re just beginning to be able to walk without toppling over, and they’re taking small amounts of food. They’re moving in a positive direction, but very slowly,” she said.

OTD in 2015—Lawsuit brought by Simply Structures may “have legs,” says legal expert

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jgroundhogdayThe lawsuit filed by Simply Structures against the Park Archons and the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations may “have legs,” according to Delwyn Terrier, founding partner of Terrier, Terrier, Wolfhound and Shepherd.

The suit was launched in November after the construction firm lost its bid to build the prognostication pad for the 2015 Groundhog Day celebrations. Simply Structures has supplied the materials, design, and construction of the pad for over ten years, but it lost the 2015 bid to Nesthetics, a relative newcomer.

At the time of the announcement in mid-October, the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations issued a brief statement in which it said it had been impressed by the Nesthetics bid and by the foresight the company had demonstrated with regard to the sturdiness of materials and design.

Among other things, Simply Structures alleges in its lawsuit that the words “sturdiness” and “foresight” are implied criticisms of their company in general and of the 2014 prognostication pad, in particular.

According to its representatives at the law firm founded by Ingmar Prärievarg, Simply Structures believes that it lost the 2015 bid due to the so-called “shadow controversy” of 2014. The controversy occurred when a group of spectators, frustrated by the prospect of having to endure another six weeks of Winter, claimed that the shadow the POPS saw was not her own, but one that appeared as a result of a fault in the prognostication pad.

Despite the fact that a team of shadow experts ruled that it was the POPS’s own shadow and no fault was ever found in the prognostication pad, the impression of liability has lingered. Now, the company is taking action against it.

“Negative impressions stick in our minds. They linger long after they’ve been disproven. That gives great power to innuendo and gossip. In this case, it’s a question of whether or not they can prove those words defame their company. If they can, that will go a long way toward effecting change with regard to how Park law deals with the issue of defamation,” says Terrier.

The case is scheduled to go to trial before Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in late Spring.

OTD in 2016—Zoocracy still unpopular with Animals outside The Park: book

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In Spite (1)A new book authored by three distinguished professors at the University of West Terrier suggests that zoocracy is still a hard sell outside The Park.

The book, entitled, “In Spite of Ourselves: Animal Attitudes Toward Zoocracy Outside The Park,” has caused quite a stir here and has garnered both positive and negative reviews, as citizens and media attempt to digest the authors’ conclusions.

“I admit that it’s difficult to understand their [Animals outside The Park] perspective, but I don’t think that difficulty should negate the significance of our findings,” says Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the UWT’s Simian Chair in Political Philosophy.

Those findings suggest that Animals who live outside The Park, and particularly those who live either in a domestic situation or in close contact with Humans, are reluctant to give up what they believe to be their “perks” for what they perceive to be a much more difficult life.

“In some cases, it is a misperception, while in other cases, we would have to agree that some Animals who live with Humans have a much easier life, at least in terms of food security and housing,” says Fionnula L. Fox, a UWT professor law who specializes in extra-hortulanial law (law that applies outside The Park).

Still, as psychology professor Luule Aednik points out, much of that so-called security is tenuous.

“When we look—just even at our immigration and refugee statistics here in The Park—we see that Animals who had thought they would be safe and well-cared for indefinitely have had to face abandonment and worse. That is how they’ve come to be Park citizens in the first place,” she says.

All three authors admit, however, that it is difficult to persuade Animals who believe they are living “the good life” to trade that in for total responsibility, not just for themselves, but for their fellow citizens.

“The main difficulty is persuading them that the hard work will pay off when even we, ourselves, are not sure of that. What we do know for certain is that it is a slow process that takes several generations to come to fruition. It’s a commitment that some Animals are simply not willing to make. In many cases, they simply are not willing to sacrifice short-term comfort for long-term gain,” Aednik says.

On This Day—December 30, 2014: Park Museum bows to pressure, delays official opening until after hibernation

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Park MuseumThe Park Museum will celebrate its official opening in March rather than as previously stated in January, it was announced on Sunday.

In a short communiqué posted on its web site, the museum’s Board of Governors confirmed the official opening date of 1 March 2015.

No mention was made of any previous opening day announcements, nor was any reason given for the change. There is, however,  a record of a series of meetings that were held in late October between the museum’s Board of Governors and a number of organizations representing The Park’s hibernating communities. Many believe those meetings resulted in the later opening date.

“Yes, we did meet with them and they were very sympathetic to our situation, though they weren’t able to give us an answer immediately,” says Tarquinius P. Shrew, president of the Small Animal Scientific Community (SASC), many of whose members are hibernators.

“Our members have contributed greatly to scientific knowledge in The Park and they [the board of Governors] did seem to understand that opening the museum without our representation seemed unfair.”

Shrew says the meetings were also attended by representatives of the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) and the Confederation of Ground Squirrels (CGS).

In an interview this morning, Eduarda Teresinha Coelho, 2015 Keeper of the Nut, said she is “so pleased” that the museum re-thought its opening date.

“I think they were so focussed on not having another delay that they didn’t realize what they’d done initially,” she said.

“But they’ve demonstrated their commitment to inclusiveness and that will be much appreciated by the hibernators. It will make the museum truly ‘Our Museum,’ as the slogan says.”

Read the Park Museum’s announcement.

On This Day—December 26, 2015: “All Our Lines Are Busy:” Park Museum to host fundraiser for its music gallery

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All our lines are busyThe Park Museum will host a fundraiser on February 29, 2016 in support of its as-yet-unopened music gallery.

In an announcement today, the museum’s Board of Governors invited all Park Animals to “a spectacular night of song, dance, food, and fun.” All proceeds, according to the announcement, will go toward the completion of the music gallery.

A spokesAnimal for the Board said the evening’s theme of “All Our Lines Are Busy” is meant to reflect the importance of The Park’s vibrant arts community and, in particular, its musical one.

“From the beginning, music has been a very important component of our life here,” said the spokesAnimal. “The Board of Governors, as well as many others, believe that music is fundamental to zoocratic life. Without a full [musical] staff, we would not be The Park that we are.”

The Board has requested that those attending respond at rsvp@parkmuseum.info.

The museum’s invitation may be read here.

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