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Politics, violence mar celebration of the birth of The Park’s first leader

February 15, 2016 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

Jailed Elephant Jailed CatThe celebration of the birth of The Park’s first leader turned ugly yesterday when political arguments among residents resulted in violence that sent a number of Animals to jail or to hospital.

The full-day holiday recognizes the birth of Jor, whose vision of Animal self-rule brought us modern zoocracy. The occasion is usually a solemn one, but this year it was made less so by arguments about sortition, the so-called lottery method by which the Archons who form our government are selected. A growing number of citizens have become disenchanted with sortition over the past few years and proponents of its abolition have become increasingly vocal and aggressive.

“Park residents are known to be passionate about their politics, and we’ve usually seen this as a good thing, a healthy thing,” said Gareth Shepherd, President of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW), who was in attendance at the event when violence broke out.

“But this sortition argument just got plain ugly. It started with words, and then it turned physical.”

According to police accounts, the violence escalated to the point where arrests became necessary.

“The verbal attacks were bad enough, but the physical blows…we had to stop it,” said one officer who wished not to be named.

At the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, the triaging lasted until well into the evening, with many patients resisting treatment in order to rejoin the fight.

“Even as they lay bleeding, they refused to restrain themselves from invective,” said Hermione Hippo, the hospital’s head nurse.

“We had to separate quite a number of Animals,” she said.

Balthasar Alouatta, spokesAnimal for the Archons, confirmed this morning that Chief Archon Raymond Mink will formally address the violence later this week.

“He—and all the Archons— are both horrified and mystified by this violence and they mean to stop it in its tracks,” Alouatta said.

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Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #politics, government, sortition, violence

Directors’ Guild ousted me as prez due to my politics: Douglas Cheetah

February 5, 2016 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Douglas Cheetah photo

Renowned director says his politics led to ousting by the Park Directors’ Guild

BREAKING NEWS

Renowned director Douglas Cheetah claims he was ousted as president of the Park Directors’ Guild (PDG) because of his vocal criticism of The Park’s political system and especially because of his opposition to the continuation of sortition as a method of selecting The Park’s governing body.

“My politics offended them [the PDG) and for that I am not sorry. But the issue is that political beliefs have nothing to do with my ability to serve effectively on behalf of The Park’s directors,” Cheetah told host Yannis Tavros of Toro Talk Radio yesterday.

The director, who is best known for his award-winning film Black Cats Can’t Jump and for a moving and insightful documentary about an interspecial family, became a spokesAnimal for The Park’s pro-election group, Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP) last April.

“The only way that I can see to stop the ongoing erosion of the principles of zoocracy is to establish a system in which we choose our leaders directly,” he said at the time.

The Park Directors’ Guild has made no comment on the situation other than to announce that Varden I.W. Spaniel will replace Cheetah as president on the fifteenth of this month. Spaniel is best known for his film, Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed, for which he received the Golden Cap, the Guild’s highest honour, in 2009.

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Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: #directors, #entertainment, #filmmakers, #politics, sortition

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