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Radio host in hospital after locking horns with photographer

May 31, 2012 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Controversial Toro Talk Radio host, Yannis Tavros, was admitted to hospital this afternoon after suffering injuries resulting from a scuffle with a photographer.

Witnesses say Tavros was leaving the station after his daily broadcast, when a photographer from The Ruminant Free Press snapped a picture of him.

The enraged Tavros started to grunt, the witnesses report, and “mutter expletives, mostly about the flash in his eyes. Then he warned [the photographer] not to do it again.”

The photographer, reportedly, refused to heed Tavros’s warning and, after snapping a few more pictures, a scuffle with the radio star ensued.

“They locked horns and it took a herd of passersby to get them free,” said one witness, who asked to remain anonymous.

Tavros, bleeding at the scene, was taken by Elephant Emergency Brigade (EEB) to the Park Hospital, where he remains in satisfactory condition.

The photographer, who has been identified as Hannus Hanka, suffered less serious injuries and was escorted back to his workplace.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media

CLucK Radio to reduce air time


May 2, 2012 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

CLucK Radio announced today that it plans to reduce its on-air time by four hours per day, beginning 1 June.

J.J. Chanticleer, CLucK Radio’s manager, called the decision “strictly financial” and said it was due to projected losses in advertising revenue.

“We’re primarily a morning station,” Chanticleer said. “We have a very loyal audience in the early hours of the day and, consequently, loyal advertisers. But, we have been finding it increasingly difficult to support our late-afternoon and early evening programming,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media Tagged With: CLucK Radio

Park’s first openly aged Archon slams news media bias

April 26, 2012 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

Archon Thurmond Tortoise will celebrate his 130th birthday this year

The Park’s first openly aged Archon has slammed Park media for what he calls “overt bias in their portrayal of the elderly.”

Thurmond L. Tortoise, who will celebrate his 130th birthday this year, is the oldest Animal in the history of zoocracy to serve as Archon. As such, he says, he feels a duty to speak out against the media’s depiction of The Park’s elderly.

“If you were to believe [The Park’s] press, you’d think we [the aging] were all enfeebled,  waiting to die, or…waiting to be told what is best for us by the young, the naive, and the foolish,” he said.

The Tortoise’s remarks were made at the annual Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP) dinner, which was held last night.

Asked his opinion of the job that Park media are doing, the Tortoise did not hold back.

“These misconceptions about the elderly run rampant across the media landscape,”  he said. “We are being disrespected by a group of ignorant young Animals who have control over the media.We are the founders of this zoocracy; we fought for the freedom and independence that they [youth] are experiencing. We deserve to be treated properly,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life

New device may help distinguish news from entertainment

April 23, 2012 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Is it news or is it entertainment?

That is the question that many Park Animals are asking, as the boundary between the two, in both broadcast and print media, becomes increasingly blurred.

Enter KartalTechSolutions, S.A. and their revolutionary new device, the Verifyzer™, which company executives claim solves this “modern dilemma” almost instantly.

“This new instrument will tell you, within five seconds, whether what you’re reading or watching is news or entertainment,” said President and CEO, Fikret Kartal, at the product’s launch this past weekend.

On hand at the outdoor launch, which doubled as a pop-up Verifyzer™ retail store, were many representatives of The Park’s media community, as well as some faculty members of the Cuthbert School of Journalism at the University of West Terrier. Many were eager to voice their skepticism of KartalTech’s claims about the new device.

“The company bases the success of this device on a number of assumptions, the most important of which is that there is an objective — and detectable — difference between so-called news and entertainment,” said Journalism Professor and author, Ludwiga Saimiri. “This is something that journalists strive to define every day of their working lives, but it is not something about which, as yet, anyone can make a definitive pronouncement.”

Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP) was even more adamant:

“There is no such thing as anything [being] objective in the newspaper business,” he said. “These definitions are fluid, they change with the seasons…with the generations; unfortunately, one Animal’s news is, sometimes, another Animal’s entertainment. And vice-versa.”

Also present at the launch was Rodolfo van de Gier, President of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP). Among other things, he took issue with the company’s guarantee of an accuracy rate of 92 per cent.

“The only thing any device can do, as far as I know,” said van de Gier, “is detect the presence of, for instance, celebrities’ names in a print or voice report. But that isn’t necessarily an indication of the nature of the report. Whether you want to admit it or not, celebrities can be involved in ‘real’ news and, sometimes, ‘real’ news can be enormously entertaining,” he said.

In response to van de Gier’s remarks, a KartalTech spokesAnimal, issued this statement:

“With due respect to the AMOP President’s remarks, technology has come a long way from merely detecting names. I invite Mr. van de Gier to attend a full demonstration of our device and to see, for himself, what our new age has to offer.”

While van de Gier has, thus far, made no reply, the Verifyzer™  is scheduled to hit Park stores at the beginning of May.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Technology and Science Tagged With: #entertainment, fake news, news

GooseBook opens to all species

January 28, 2012 By TMD Technology Reporter

In a move that has has caught many in the tech and media sectors by surprise, The Park’s most successful social media site, GooseBook, has unveiled its ambitious plans for expansion.

In a statement released today, the company confirmed its plans to open site membership to all species in The Park.

“The popularity and success of GooseBook has proven that it has great potential for growth across the broad spectrum of species that inhabit The Park,” said GooseBook’s President and C.E.O., Lester C. Gander.

In addition, GooseBook’s executives confirmed that they plan to roll out a pair of related social media sites, most likely in the second quarter of the year. The company has not released any information about the new sites other than their names: “Cackle” and “Peck.”

According to insiders, one of the sites will be a “communication” site and the other may be an internet search engine.

GooseBook was the brainchild of the late Cesar Emilio Gander, who founded the site while a student at the University of West Terrier. After his untimely death, the site experienced a surge in membership. That surge continued until last summer, when rival site Gewper opened its virtual doors. Since then, both sites have competed neck and neck for members, with GooseBook maintaining a slight lead over the more innovative Gewper.

 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, Park Life, Technology and Science

Pundits will take to radio to weigh in on new government

January 26, 2012 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

Some of The Park’s best known political pundits will weigh in on our new government this coming Monday as guests of Toro Talk Radio host, Yannis Tavros.

Manfred Stier, a spokesanimal for the radio station, confirmed today that Yannis Tavros will relinquish his usual talk show format on January 30 to moderate a forum “about the future of The Park and the direction that the 2012 government will take.”

Invited forum guests will include Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy at the University of West Terrier, historian and author Pieter Paard, Professor Ludwiga Saimiri of the Cuthbert School of Journalism (UWT), Law Professor Fionnula L. Fox, and Gertrude C. Owl, Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent and Dean of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Other participants include Ronald Grouse, chief political analyst at The Avian Messenger, Yuri Sturgeon of The Kaluga Register, and Camlin “Cayuga” Newt of The Salamander Evening Post.

The participants plan to discuss everything from the political and philosophical leanings of the 2012 Archons to the economy, immigration reform, currency amalgamation, and tourism.

“Nothing is off-limits in this discussion,” said Stier.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Politics/Law/Crime

Chitter Radio rescues literary awards

January 23, 2012 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Chitter Radio, one of The Park’s most popular talk radio stations, has brought The Park Annual Literary Awards (PALA) back from the brink.

At a press conference this morning, Chitter President and C.E.O., Albana Ketri, confirmed that Radio 244883.7 (known as Chitter Radio) would assume full financial sponsorship of the Awards.

“We are delighted to announce that Chitter Radio will be the exclusive sponsor of the 2012 Park Annual Literary Awards. We look forward to forging a strong connection with the Awards and see this as a great opportunity to promote literacy both inside and outside The Park,” she said.

The Awards had previously been supported by The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, but budgetary constraints forced it to renege on its promise of funding for the 2012 season.

At the press conference, Ketri emphasized that Chitter Radio considers its association with PALA to be both a “privilege and a responsibility” and stated that Chitter Radio is “unequivocally committed”  to maintaining the high standards and integrity with which PALA is associated.

The Park Annual Literary Awards take place 15 June.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

UWT commissions institutional biography

November 4, 2011 By Nienke Varken, TMD Education Reporter

The University of West Terrier announced today that it has secured the services of award-winning author, Pieter N. Paard, to write the definitive history of The Park’s oldest institution of higher learning.

In a statement released to all Park media, the President of UWT, Angus Abhag, said that this will be “a no-holds barred, complete history of the institution, from its foundation to the present day.”

The statement also said that UWT hoped all present and past faculty and staff members, as well as the university’s students, friends, and benefactors, would cooperate with Paard and be “completely honest about their experiences at the University of West Terrier.”

Pieter Paard is best known for his book, From Slavery to Freedom: A History of Pack Animals. A five-part television series, based on the book, aired on PBC Television this Autumn.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Media, Park Life

Park’s media organizations plan protest against newcomer

September 25, 2011 By TMD Reporters

The Park’s governing Archons, in association with the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW) have issued a statement urging calm this morning, as media organizations across The Park prepare for a mass demonstration against a Vegetable newspaper that has signalled its intent to set up shop here later this month.

According to Balthasar Alouatta, spokesAnimal for the Archons, the action was prompted by yesterday’s attack on the new publication by the editor of The Equine Echo.  In a radio interview, Keating Capall declared that the new publication “comes from the dirt and does nothing but dig in the dirt and shake it all over our pristine media landscape.”

The Archons’ statement, which was published in all Park newspapers and read on radio and television stations, called for “calm and reasonableness” in the face of what the media organizations perceive as a threat.

“It is our intent to support the ethos of diversity in our Park and, to that end, we urge calm and reasonableness on the part of our media,” the statement read, in part.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media

Archons at work behind scenes to secure reporter’s release

August 5, 2011 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Extra-Hortulanial law expert Fionnula Fox

It may not look as though anything is happening but, rest assured, our 35 Park Archons are working hard behind the scenes to secure the release of imprisoned journalist, ZeeZee Legy.

That is the message contained in a statement from the Office of the Archons and reiterated at a press conference late last night.  Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, confirmed that negotiations are underway with those outside The Park who have been holding Legy in custody since July 21, 2011.

Legy, a reporter for The Insect Intelligencer’s gossipy Fly on the Wall feature, was apprehended in connection with the death of one Human.  Five other reporters who work for the feature were arrested inside The Park after two of the reporters’ Human sources were hospitalized.  They are scheduled to appear in court late in August.

At first, Legy claimed he was not working at the time of the incident but, instead, was visiting family while on vacation.  But in a statement released last week, The Intelligencer’s editor-in-chief, Fannia di Volo, said there had been a misunderstanding and that Legy had, indeed, been on assignment outside The Park.

At the press conference, Alouatta confirmed that efforts to secure Legy’s release had stalled for a time, but they have resumed and the Archons are “cautiously optimistic” about the outcome.  Also present at the press gathering was UWT Law Professor Fionnula Fox, an expert in Extra-Hortulanial law (law that applies outside The Park).  She explained the Archons’ dilemma thus:

“It’s (Extra-Hortulanial law) a hard needle to thread,” she said.  “We can only negotiate with those outside The Park; we have no real power or authority there.  Basically, we have to rely on the goodwill of the people and try to convince them that there was no malicious intent.  If we can convince them of that, then it follows that a repeat of the incident is unlikely.”

Alouatta said that the Archons are expecting a breakthrough “by the end of the weekend” and that Park citizens could keep up-to-date with the negotiations by checking the information board outside the Court House.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media

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