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OTD in 0217—Noreen gets police protection after brawl breaks out at UWT event

June 23, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Official NoreenNoreen was escorted home by Park Police yesterday after a brawl broke out at an event she was co-hosting at the University of West Terrier.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist, who is also an adjunct professor of Human Studies at UWT, was the co-host, with Chittenden School of Law professor Fionnula Fox, of an extended Q&A session after the launch of their joint project, the Domestic Empowerment Initiative (DEI). The DEI is designed to empower Animals who are currently living in a domestic situation with Humans.

During the Q&A, a brawl broke out among audience members who misunderstood Noreen’s words and took them to mean she was in favour of Animal domestication. Although she made several attempts to clarify her position, the audience members would have none of it. After several minutes of name-calling and threats to Noreen’s safety, UWT security removed the offending Animals and shut the session down. Park Police officer Gareth Shepherd then escorted Noreen home.

On Twitter this morning, Noreen thanked Officer Shepherd and sought once again to clarify her stand on Animal domestication.

gareth

“I did NOT say that domestication by Humans is acceptable,” she wrote. “Rather, I said that domestication is a complicated issue and there are circumstances under which living with Humans is the best option.”

She also wrote that she believes that strengthening The Park’s economy, educating Animals and encouraging Animal self-rule are the best methods by which we can eliminate both the need and desire for domestication.

“Life is never easy, but self-determination beats domestication,” she concluded.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Noreen, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: animal domestication, Humans, Noreen

OTD in 2013—New “Beats of Burden”music fest will aid Park refugees

June 22, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

What a difference a letter makes!

Despite having decided months before that their comeback would include an annual charity concert in aid of The Park’s refugees, the Beasts of Burden found themselves putting off an official announcement. Stopped dead in their tracks by their inability to find an appropriate name for the event, they even considered shelving the project, worthy though they thought it was.

“I understood the problem, but I couldn’t help. They didn’t just want to put their name on it and call it ‘The Annual Beasts of Burden Charity Concert.’ They wanted the name to have more meaning than that,” said the band’s manager, Ignatius Herder.

“So, we had a meeting at The Draft (the band’s pub) to strategize. Alfredo (Ox, the band’s lead singer) started filling out some forms that we needed and then Haimo (Maultier) noticed he’d left a letter out of the word ‘Beasts,’ so it read, ‘Beats of Burden.’ We all laughed, then we looked at each other and we knew we were all thinking the same thing.”

And that is how the annual “Beats of Burden” Music Festival was born.

“It was pure genius and one hundred per cent serendipitous,” laughs Ox. “If I’d been more careful, we’d still be sitting there planning, instead of announcing the biggest charity music festival ever in The Park.”

With almost every Park band and singer signed on to the event, the new festival promises to be something truly out of the ordinary.

“A concert can only do so much, but a festival, with all sorts of different music and events and other things tied in…we can really make a difference to the lives of The Park’s refugees,” says an excited Ox.

The festival, which is scheduled to begin at sunrise on September 14 will go on for three days, with the music expected to last late into each night.

“The way I see it, they’re [the audience] going to have to ask us to go home. We’re not going to want to stop playing. Nobody is,” says Maultier.

Just the facts

What:    The Beats of Burden Music Festival
When:   Every year from now on; September 14-16 inclusive, sunrise to whenever
Where:  At venues across The Park; expect more details in the coming weeks
Why:     To raise funds in aid of The Park’s refugees
Who:     Almost all Park bands and singers; expect some “surprises” as well

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2016—Whoa! BRAKING News: What’s in our new section will stop you in your tracks

June 21, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Braking News

Searching for news that will stop you in your tracks? Just look for this symbol.

INTRODUCING…BRAKING News

At The Mammalian Daily, we’re always looking for ways to improve our readers’ experience. We want to make it easier and faster for you stay informed, particularly about issues that affect you directly. And we want to bring these items to your attention as soon as we can.

So, we’ve created a new section on our web site, which we’re calling Whoa! BRAKING News. Starting next week, you’ll be able to go straight to it to find the information that is most important to you. Whether it’s about safety, security, health, or economic issues, you’ll be able to find it in Whoa! BRAKING News.

But we’re not stopping at our web site. We know our readers lead busy lives and they may not be on our site all the time. So, on our Facebook page and on our  Twitter feed, all items that fall into the category of BRAKING News will be marked by a miniature version of the symbol above. When you see that symbol, you’ll know that we consider the information in the attached article to be important to you.

We’re confident that you’ll find our new section a great asset but, of course, it’s still a work-in-progress. If you have your own ideas about what might constitute a BRAKING News story, feel free to get in touch and let us know. In the meantime, we look forward to providing you with news that will stop you in your tracks.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Whoa! Braking News Tagged With: BRAKING news, new news section, news that will stop you in your tracks, whoa

OTD in 2015—Lottery will decide who gets tickets to Barkettes’ free Memorial Pond concert

June 20, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Barkettes #4 ticket
Tickets to Thisbe and the Barkettes ‘ free concert at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond will be assigned by lottery, it was announced today.

In a joint statement released this morning, the promoter, Iglu Entertainment, and the group’s manager, Hilde Blaft, said the decision to hold a lottery for the tickets rather than sell them on a first-come, first-served basis was made “to add a degree of fairness to the process.”

“The event will be a very emotional one for us in The Park and we felt that adding a rush for tickets would make it even more emotional for those who wish to attend. As a result, we have taken the decision to hold a lottery for the tickets, which are free of charge,” the statement said.

In addition, the statement confirmed that no tickets will be held back for Archons or Park celebrities and that only a few tickets will be held for the Tartan Crab’s immediate family. That decision was made at the request of the Barkettes, the statement said.

The group will be wrapping up The Park’s portion of their Bring Your Own Bone tour in August, with one final concert at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre. The date for that concert will be announced next week.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture, Thisbe and the Barkettes Tagged With: Barkettes, concerts, tartan crab

OTD in 2016—Holstein Fashion adds third show to EDAM lineup

June 19, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Holstein Fashion Show for EDAM Holstein Fashion announced today that the company will add a third fashion show to the lineup of events for Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM).

At a press gathering this morning, company president Balbina Ko told reporters the first show on June 10 was so successful that they decided to add a third one on June 24. The next show is scheduled for Wednesday, June 22.

“It was hovering-room only, and at a venue as big as the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, that’s surprising,” Ko said. “We were overwhelmed, not only by the positive response to our initiative but by the support of our charity, EQUALSS.”

The fashion show, which is meant to highlight the perils of domestication, is free of charge but the company is accepting donations to its charity EQUALSS at the theatre’s entrance. The charity, which was established in April of 2015, supports the full equality of striped and spotted Animals in The Park.

None of the original designs in the fashion show are for sale, but Ko was asked during the press gathering whether the company has considered auctioning them off for their charity.

“That hasn’t been discussed, but it’s a good idea. I’ll take it under advisement,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM), On This Day Tagged With: Enforced Domestication Awareness Month, equality for striped and spotted animals, EQUALSS, fashion show, holstein fashion

OTD in 2013—Theatre Review: The Sound of One Nut Cracking

June 18, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Mixed Nuts Stage Play PosterThe power is in the understatements in “Mixed Nuts,” the compelling one-Chipmunk drama that opened for a short time in Alepou (November) and is scheduled for a return engagement this Barnabus (February) at the Park Repertory Theatre.

This should come as no surprise, given that the author is Imogen Aardeekhoorn, who has adapted her now famous chronicles for the stage. Understatement is the hallmark of Chipmunk literature and Aardeekhoorn ranks among the best of her species, drawing on the tradition as if she were sucking sand from a straw. Take, for example, the line with which she concludes the story of her harrowing escape from a trap that was set in the backyard of a house outside The Park: “It wasn’t my time.”

A lesser writer might say more but Aardeekhoorn, played by the lovely and lively Millicent Hayberry, need not explain. We know, from the get-go, how she will react to the many challenges of modern Chipmunk life. We are also privileged to be her confidantes as she lays bare her feelings about herself, her ancestors, and her species as a whole, in this deeply personal account that lasts only sixty-five minutes but sweeps across the terrain of some fifty generations.

The struggle of Park Chipmunks has not gone uncharted; as a founding family, they have experienced the best and the worst of The Park. But it is a rare occasion on which a member of this secretive species speaks openly about the struggle for survival, the trials of colonial life, and the emotional burden that is placed on a generation born and raised in a world unfamiliar to its parents.

The strength of the piece lies in this rarity; the operative word here is “speak.” Having read the original chronicles in hardshell, I wondered whether Aardeekhoorn’s voice could translate faithfully to the stage. I needn’t have worried; a seasoned performer such as Millicent Hayberry could not do otherwise but bring authenticity to the rôle. She does so brilliantly, all the while infusing it with an “everyAnimal” sensibility that draws us closer to her with every revelation.

And it is here that Hayberry reveals the full range of her dramatic and vocal artistry. Few of the “great secrets” that she is given to impart are, in fact, unknown to the audience. Aardeekhoorn’s life is legendary in The Park; the secrets of this “twitching teller of tales” are, at once, shocking, familiar, and predictable. Yet, in mining the depths of her own emotions, Hayberry conveys Aardeekhoorn’s own sense of shock and dismay and jolts the audience out of its complacency. No longer predictable, she disarms and charms her captive audience for the full sixty-five minutes. It is a performance well worth studying for her technique alone.

A good deal of credit for the play’s vigour must go to director Donald Merriami, whose fluid style marries well with Hayberry’s vocal dynamism. Praise must also go to set designer, Roland Xerus, whose faux burrow is exquisitely lit by Constantine Lampris, and to costume designer, Oberon Pavo, whose “over-the-top” stripes add an extra dimension to the drama.

MIXED NUTS
By Imogen Aardeekhoorn, based upon her chronicles; directed by Donald Merriami; sets by Roland Xerus; costumes by Oberon Pavo; lighting by Constantine Lampris; sound by Marit Chauna; production stage manager, Burkhard Shepherd; associate director, A.S. Tami. Presented by Hudson Meerkat and Anthony Abert, executive producers. At the Park Repertory Theatre, 2-13 Alepou (returning 14 Barnabus-32 Varrah). Running time: 65 minutes.

This article originally appeared in Issue #117 of The Mammalian Daily

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day

OTD in 2013—Fish make big splash at Chitter Radio Literary Awards

June 17, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Park's Fish population made a big splash at this year's Chitter Radio Literary Awards

While it may be stretching it a bit to suggest that The Park’s Fish population might be in ascendance, it is safe to say that our aquatic kin made their presence felt at this year’s Chitter Radio Literary Awards.

For the first time since the awards were established eighteen years ago (as The Park Literary Awards), almost every category included at least one entry from our Piscine population.

The humour category overflowed with Fishy fun and foolishness, from the darkly humorous, “Roll Over and Stare” to the somewhat frothy “Flash Fish.” While neither netted first prize in the category (that honour went to “Trooping the Collar” by Clement Samuel Tervuren), their nomination served notice to both the judges and The Park’s readers that aquatic humour has evolved.

Indeed, in her book, “Brevity and the Wit of Sole,” which was nominated in both the humour and memoir categories, Evangeline Solea writes with poignancy about her early career in comedy and humour writing and her fight against the “Flatfish stereotypes.”

“Everywhere, the view was that Fish weren’t funny…particularly Flatfish. And, in the first few years of my career, I was baited constantly, but I refused to give up,” she writes in Chapter 3 of her book which she titled, “Swimming Against the Current.”

Solea’s book won in the memoir category and another Piscine author took home a prize, as well. For her critically-acclaimed work, “The View from Under the Plastic Palace,” Barbara Puntius Everetti was declared the Most Promising Newcomer.

Declan Wolfhound’s critically acclaimed “The Upward Curve” took the prize for best novel, while poet Gwendolyn Slang’s “Locomotion” won the poetry award and short story writer Tedesco Tuatara took home the prize for his twentieth collection, “The Long and Short of It.”

As expected, Tab Tricolore’s most recent volume, “The Feral Roots of our Festive Cuisine,” won in the non-fiction category. It was also no surprise that the award for the best political work went to Dante Reginald Kodiak’s controversial best seller, “If We Chain the World: How Fences Alter the Way We See Ourselves and Others.”

Veteran playwright Imogen Aardeekhoorn, author of the highly acclaimed “Mixed Nuts,” received the prize for her most recent work,”Truffles.” She was also honoured for her efforts on behalf of the Park Repertory Theatre.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2014—PASS calls for public inquiry into stampede at grooming house

June 16, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

tallulahstoilettage

PASS has called for a public inquiry into the grooming house stampede

The Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS) has called for a public inquiry into the stampede that occurred at Tallulah’s Toilettage on May 31.

At a meeting held on Saturday June 14, members of the Association voted unanimously to recommend to the Archons that they institute a “full, free, and public investigation into the events that took place at Tallulah’s Toilettage on May 31.”[pullquote]We want Animals to realize that the security of the business community is at stake here.  – PASS president Wellington Whistlepig[/pullquote]

The Association also agreed that such a public investigation should seek input from Park Police, the Department of Well-Being and Safety and the Department of Holidays Festivals, and Celebrations, as well as from Animals resident in The Park.

“We wrote our recommendation in the strongest language possible, short of making it an outright demand,” said current PASS president Wellington Whistlepig at a media briefing this afternoon. 

“We want Animals to realize that the security of the business community is at stake here,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2017—Noreen, UWT law professor launch Domestic Empowerment Initiative

June 15, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Official NoreenNoreen has embarked on a new venture.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and University of West Terrier adjunct professor of Human Studies has partnered with Chittenden School of Law professor Fionnula Fox to help Animals currently living in a domestic situation with Humans gain more control over their possessions and estates.

After conducting a study last year that concluded that domestic Animals had virtually no control over their possessions, Fox—a specialist in extra-hortulanial law (law that applies outside The Park)—invited Noreen to work with her on rectifying what she calls a “dismal situation” for domestic Animals.

“I thought we’d make a great pair in this regard,” she told The Mammalian Daily. “I was sure that if we combined Noreen’s deep knowledge and understanding of Humans and my knowledge of the law outside The Park, we’d be able to come up with the perfect solution.”

Whether that solution is perfect remains to be seen, but the confident pair will unveil the first part of its Domestic Empowerment Initiative (DEI) on June 22, fittingly during Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM).

The University of West Terrier’s Chittenden School of Law will host the Q&A event and forms for wills and booklets on estate planning will be given out free of charge to all Animals.

Both Fox and Noreen know the risks involved in trying to change Humans’ views and behaviour, but they’re both confident it can be done over time.

“For the sake of domestic Animals, we have to adopt a slow and gentle approach with Humans,” says Fox. “Because the truth is we have no legal basis to force them to do anything.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM), On This Day, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: control over possessions, domestic animals, domestic empowerment initiative, empowerment, wills and estates

OTD in 2016—”Diary of a Domestic Dog” favoured to win fiction prize at tomorrow’s awards

June 14, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Chitter Radio Literary Awards take place on June 15

Natalia Barboncina’s penetrating and intelligent account of life as a Domestic Canine is favoured to win at this year’s Chitter Radio Literary Awards.

The strange thing is, that award will be for fiction.

Originally published by Kynikos Press under the title, Another Day, the book has leapt off the shelves in recent months. And it’s found an enorormously diverse audience, made up of species that some say are the least likely ever to experience domesticity.

Indeed, the author herself has spoken of her astonishment at the number of readers of species other than Canine who’ve written letters to her, posted on her web site, and attended her pawprintings. Just last month at The Literary Apothecary, the lineup to meet Barboncina was made up of fifty-five different species, according to proprietor Wyuna Winkle.

“Something about that book resonates with all Animals, despite the fact that it’s about a particular species in a particular circumstance,” Winkle says.

Barboncina credits Noreen with bringing her to some of the insights that are expressed by the main character in her book. She says that while she was in the process of writing the book, she and The Mammalian Daily advice columnist had a “series of conversations” about Humans that “opened her mind to the emotional reality of Domestic Canine life.”

“When I started the book, I saw it all in the abstract. But, after talking to Noreen, I was able to put myself in the position of my main character and to actually feel and authentically describe what she experiences,” Barboncina says.

Indeed, “authentic” is a word that has been used in many of the reviews of the book. And it was that authenticity that drew domestication survivor and 2012 Chitter Radio Literary Award winner Hercule Parrot to the work and moved him to write a blurb for the retitled book’s cover.

“Natalia Barboncina writes with great depth of meaning and describes the full spectrum of emotions experienced by the domesticated Animal. This book is a true work of art,” Parrot wrote.

Barboncina and her fellow nominees will attend the Chitter Radio Literary Awards tomorrow at The Park Repertory Theatre.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Chitter Radio Literary Awards, domestic canine life, Natalia Barboncina

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