The Mammalian Daily

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Mating Dance pre-registration for endangered species begins today

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Giraffes at Mating DanceIf you’re a Park citizen or resident and a member of an endangered species, today is the day to start thinking about registering for the Mating Dance.

The Department of Well-Being and Safety’s reminder, issued this past weekend in a Park-wide media blitz, cautioned participants not to procrastinate. It also warned those intending to use the pre-registration option to expect longer wait times this year, as the popularity of the programme has grown over the past two years.

“When it [the programme] was instituted, we sensed a certain reluctance to participate on the part of those in the endangered community. There was a certain stigma attached to being part of an endangered spacies, but I think this programme, along with the [Endangered Species] Benefits Programme, and the wonderful work being done at the Extinction Anxiety Clinic, has changed that significantly,” DWBS Director of Public Relations Cornelius Kakapo told The Mammalian Daily.

Pre-registration for the May 5 event begins today at ten o’clock at the DWBS offices. To take advantage of the full programme, which includes genetic and psychological counselling, all Animals must bring proof of their eligibility in the form of their membership in The Park’s Endangered Species Benefits Programme (ESBP).

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Mating Dance organizers announce partnership with gewper for 2016 event

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Dachsunds in love

Scented social networking site gewper will participate in the 2016 Mating Dance

Organizers of The Park’s annual Mating Dance announced today that gewper will play a major rôle in this year’s event.

As we all know, scent is a major part of our lives—perhaps the most important sense for many of us—and the rôle that scent plays in mating is significant.—Viviette Lapine, Chief Organizer, Mating Dance

At a press conference held this morning, Mating Dance chief organizer Viviette Lapine confirmed the Dance’s partnership with The Park’s only scented social networking site.

“We are thrilled that gewper has agreed to partner with us for this year’s event. As we all know, scent is a major part of our lives—perhaps the most important sense for many of us—and the rôle that scent plays in mating is significant. In this context, ‘scents make perfect sense,’ ” she said, as she invoked the web site’s signature phrase.

Executives from RhinoTech, Inc. and Enterprises Moufettes, S.A., gewper’s developers and de facto owners, appeared happy as Lapine spoke about the partnership, which will likely rehabilitate their brand after the fiasco of their collaboration with Tab Tricolore on his scented holiday television program in December.

Lapine also confirmed that they will again be offering members of The Park’s endangered species a pre-registration package that includes free genetic and psychological counselling services. Pre-registration for the Mating Dance will begin at 10:00 a.m. on Monday, April 18 at the offices of the Department of Well-Being and Safety. All Animals must bring proof of their eligibility in the form of their membership in The Park’s Endangered Species Benefits Programme (ESBP). The Mating Dance will occur on Thursday, May 5.

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Mating Dance to offer pre-registration, free counselling to endangered species

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Golden Mantella Frog

Meet me at the Mating Dance!

Organizers of the 2015 Mating Dance will be offering members of The Park’s endangered species a pre-registration package that includes free genetic and psychological counselling services, it was announced today.

These Animals experience tremendous psychological barriers that they must overcome in order to procreate. I think this is the least we can do to help them in this endeavour. — Dr. Berthilidis Strix, Extinction Anxiety Clinic

In a communiqué issued to all media this morning, the organizers of the event said that the unusual move comes as a response to the results of a number of population and attendance studies conducted at the University of West Terrier over the past five years:

“Based on the results of these studies and after a series of consultations with the Department of Well-Being and Safety, we have taken the decision to offer these special services to members of The Park’s endangered species.”

A spokesAnimal for the Dance said that all eligible Animals will have the opportunity to pre-register for the dance as of April 20.

“Let us be clear: this is not a pre-selection service that we are offering,” the spokesAnimal said.

“The pre-registration is meant to enable these Animals to make early contact with those who may be interested in meeting them at the Dance. We hope that this will raise the attendance level of our endangered species.”

Studies indicate that members of The Park’s endangered species have the lowest level of attendance at the Mating Dance.

According to Dr. Berthilidis Strix, head of The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic, many Animals in the endangered community have “psychological and other problems” that lead to difficulties in relating to other Animals.

“This may seem ironic, since they are the ones who most need to reproduce, but there is a good reason for these low attendance levels. These Animals experience tremendous psychological barriers that they must overcome in order to procreate. I think this [pre-registration package] is the least we can do to help them in this endeavour,” she says.

Pre-registration for the Mating Dance will begin at 10:00 a.m. on Monday, April 20 at the offices of the Department of Well-Being and Safety. All Animals must bring proof of their eligibility in the form of their membership in The Park’s Endangered Species Benefits Programme (ESBP).

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