• Home
  • About The Mammalian Daily
    • TMD 101: A quick guide to reading The Mammalian Daily
    • A note about our style
  • Welcome to The Park
    • About The Park
    • Past and Present Archons
  • Park Life
    • Educational Institutions
      • University of West Terrier
      • Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life
      • Leonardo Language and Culture Institute
      • The Hani Gajah School of Art
      • Park School of Aesthetics
    • Shops and Retail
    • Restaurants and Pubs
    • Financial Institutions
      • Currency
    • Health & Well-Being
      • Hospitals and Clinics
      • Directory of Park Health Services
    • Grooming Houses
      • Amoltrud’s Aesthetics
      • En Garde Hair and Skin Salon
      • Halcyon Days Canine Coiffure
      • KwikLiks
      • Tallulah’s Toilettage
      • The Mane Event
      • The Pluming Room
    • Park Services
      • Architects and Construction Services
      • Employment Service
      • Entertainment and Party Services
      • Financial Services
      • Home Services
      • Image and Consulting Services
      • Legal Services
      • Park-Sponsored Programmes
      • Personal Services
      • Real Estate Services
      • Translation Services
      • Travel & Transportation Services
    • Charities
    • Citizen Aid & Action Associations
      • Associations, Federations, and Alliances
      • Political Reform Groups
      • Environmental Groups
      • Immigrant and Citizen Aid Groups
      • Education Groups
    • Sports
  • Arts in The Park
    • Art Galleries in The Park
    • Theatres and Cinemas
    • Music Makers
    • The Barkettes
      • History and Legacy of The Barkettes
      • Thisbe and the Barkettes Celebrate 10 Years of Sensational Singing Success
      • Olden Goldies: Noreen Interviews The Barkettes
      • Thisbe and The Barkettes: Hits and Recordings
    • The Library
    • Book Reviews
  • Media in The Park
    • Newspapers
    • Magazines
    • Radio Stations
    • Television Stations
    • Publishing Companies
    • Mammalian Daily Associated News Services
  • Fun
    • Take Our Quick Quizzes!
    • See Our Ads
      • A Different Reality
      • Canine Standup Comedy
      • Fake News
      • Financial Crisis
      • Liquid Assets
      • Monkey See
      • Solid Ground
      • Who We Are
      • Think Outside the Book

The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen
  • Breaking News
    • NewsBits
    • Whoa! Braking News
  • Politics/Law/Crime
    • Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction
    • Past and Present Archons
  • Economy and Business
  • Education
  • Health and Medicine
    • Media
      • Month Without Metaphor
  • Focus on
  • Science and Technology
  • Arts, Entertainment, and Culture
    • Park Life
      • Ask a Poodle
      • Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM)
      • Passings
      • Gossip and Rumour
    • Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF)
    • PIFF Piffle
    • Thisbe and the Barkettes
  • Noreen
    • Dear Noreen Advice Columns
  • Sports
    • Let’s Talk Balls!
  • Interviews
    • Five Questions For…
    • Survivor Profiles
  • Archives
    • Wednesday Rewind
    • Nostalgia
    • From the Vault

OTD in 2017—“Sortition Shakes” on the rise as citizens feel the strain of possible Archonship

January 9, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

sortition-shakes

No, it’s not a snack. Or even a dance. It’s a real psychological condition that afflicts Park citizens. And it’s on the rise.

According to Park therapists, cases of  “Sortition Shakes” or “Lottery Nerves,” as they are also known, are up substantially this year. And, they say, it’s not surprising.

“I would say it was to be expected,” says Dr. Chloris Cougar of the University of West Terrier’s School of Medicine.

“We’ve seen increasing pressure on the Archons, as zoocracy has matured and the expectations of Park government have grown,” she says. “It’s not surprising that a position that was once almost ceremonial but which now carries with it heavy responsibilities, should produce feelings of anxiety, and almost dread, in those who feel they may not be up to the task.”

Dr. Gudrun L. Gibbon, a Park psychotherapist who also serves as a staff member at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic agrees.

“I’m seeing many of my former patients return for help with severe cases of the Sortition Shakes,” she says.

Dr. Gibbon says many are “racked by guilt” that they are not more knowledgeable and they are anxious about their abilities to make decisions that could prove life-altering for Park citizens.

“I also think that this year’s celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy has added even more weight to the position,” she says. “They know all eyes will be on them and they’re worried about doing the right thing if they are selected.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: selection of Archons, sortition, Sortition Shakes, zoocracy

“Sortition Shakes” on the rise as citizens feel the strain of possible Archonship

January 9, 2017 By Jaakkima Kuikka, TMD Mental Health Reporter

sortition-shakes

No, it’s not a snack. Or even a dance. It’s a real psychological condition that afflicts Park citizens. And it’s on the rise.

According to Park therapists, cases of  “Sortition Shakes” or “Lottery Nerves,” as they are also known, are up substantially this year. And, they say, it’s not surprising.

“I would say it was to be expected,” says Dr. Chloris Cougar of the University of West Terrier’s School of Medicine.

“We’ve seen increasing pressure on the Archons, as zoocracy has matured and the expectations of Park government have grown,” she says. “It’s not surprising that a position that was once almost ceremonial but which now carries with it heavy responsibilities, should produce feelings of anxiety, and almost dread, in those who feel they may not be up to the task.”

Dr. Gudrun L. Gibbon, a Park psychotherapist who also serves as a staff member at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic agrees.

“I’m seeing many of my former patients return for help with severe cases of the Sortition Shakes,” she says.

Dr. Gibbon says many are “racked by guilt” that they are not more knowledgeable and they are anxious about their abilities to make decisions that could prove life-altering for Park citizens.

“I also think that this year’s celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy has added even more weight to the position,” she says. “They know all eyes will be on them and they’re worried about doing the right thing if they are selected.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: selection of Archons, sortition, Sortition Shakes, zoocracy

Follow Us

  • X
  • Facebook
  • YouTube

Mammalian Daily-Related Sites

  • The Park Census
  • The Park Museum
  • The University of West Terrier

The Mammalian Daily on Twitter

  • Chef Tab Tricolore
  • Gunnar Rotte
  • Hieronymous Hedgehog
  • Mammalian Daily
  • Media's Month Without Metaphor
  • Millicent Hayberry
  • Noreen
  • Park Groundhog Day Celebrations
  • Pieter Paard
  • PIFF Reports
  • Yannis Tavros

Welcome to the Media Circus!

Looking for something?

Archives

How wise you are to read this newspaper!

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

TMD quick links

  • TMD 101: A quick guide to reading The Mammalian Daily
  • The Best of Noreen
  • Interviews
  • Take Our Quick Quizzes!
  • Nostalgia: Celebrating 1,000 articles!

Join TMD on Facebook

Join TMD on Facebook

Click below to see what others say about us

CATCH UP HERE!

May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Apr    

Contents Copyright © 2025 The Mammalian Daily