The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

OTD in 2015—Winners of tickets to Barkettes’ free concert to be announced Tuesday

By

Barkettes #4 ticketThe winners of the lottery for tickets to the Barkettes’ free concert at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond will be announced tomorrow.

In a joint statement released this morning, the promoter, Iglu Entertainment, and the group’s manager, Hilde Blaft, confirmed that the winners will be selected in a live presentation that will be held outside the law courts and broadcast on a number of Park television stations.

The statement also confirmed that Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon will preside over the selection process but will not personally handle any of the ticket requests.

The presentation will begin at 11:00 in the morning. According to the concert’s organizers, there are 20,000 tickets up for grabs, including direct skyview tickets. There are also at least 2,000 underwater spaces available.

The free concert will honour the memory of the Tartan Crab, the victim of The Park’s most famous unsolved murder. The Crab, who was Nestor’s pet, was brutally murdered eight years ago and Police still have no idea of the identity of the crime’s perpetrator.

The July 26 concert, which begins at 8:00 p.m., is the only free event announced thus far in Thisbe and the Barkettes’ Bring Your Own Bone Tour. The Park leg of the tour will wrap up at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre in August.

OTD in 2017—Archons expected to announce funding for Barkettes museum by end of month

By

The 2017 Archons are expected to announce funding for a Barkettes museum before the end of this month, a source close to the governing body has told The Mammalian Daily.

According to the source, Chief Archon Klarissa Kuttu put the project to a vote last week and it was unanimously passed. Funding for the museum is expected to be spread out over time and allocated in the next five budgets. Thisbe and the Barkettes were not consulted by the Archons, but they were made aware of the impending vote.

In October of 2015, the Canine Music Association teamed up with the Park Historical Society to push for a museum to honour the beloved group, who just this month donated a new song to the cause of enforced domestication awareness. CMA president R.F. Aarrf and Park Historical Society president Clark Cascanueces  called it a “travesty” that the Barkettes had not been honoured properly in The Park.

“The Barkettes broke the species barrier when it came to music and they paved the way for the success of all other Park musicians. We are long overdue in honouring them by keeping their accomplishments alive for the next generations,” Cascanueces said when he and Aarrf launched a petition to pressure the Archons to establish the museum.

Currently, the Barkettes retain possession of most of their memorabilia, but in April of 2015, they donated the original sheet music and some early drafts of the lyrics of “Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed” to The Park Museum.

OTD in 2015—Barkettes triumph at sold-out concert

By

Dancing in the aislesREVIEW
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Thisbe and the Barkettes
Bring Your Own Bone Tour
At the Ancient Open-Air Theatre
Friday, May 8

They were dancing in the aisles. And that is no metaphor.

By the time Friday’s concert by Thisbe and the Barkettes wrapped up—two hours later than scheduled—there was no Animal left who was lying, sitting, or standing still.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. Not even at the Beasts of Burden concert ten years ago,” said music aficionada and longtime Barkettes fan Miriam Wapiti. “It was overwhelming.”

That feeling was unanimous. And mutual, as well.

The first Park concert of the group’s Bring Your Own Bone tour delivered on its promise both musically and emotionally and as Thisbe said just before the encores began, “We will never forget this feeling. You don’t know what you’ve given us.”

The evening opened with a very short video of highlights of the group’s career, including a few snippets from I Love a Man in a Collar, Rauf Wiedersehen Shepherd’s documentary about the group that opened the 2012 Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF).

Then, The Barkettes ascended the stage, not together as expected, but one by one: first, Estelle, then, Lorraine, Carmen and, finally, Mercedes. By this time, the crowd was clamouring for Thisbe. Screaming, howling and banging their own home-made instruments, they kept up a steady call for the singer until suddenly all fell silent. From stage left, they could see just the tip of Thisbe’s nose. Then, after a quick shake, she bounded onto the stage to join her Barkettes.

Wearing a bespoke collar in raspberry, she acknowledged the crowd with a quick shake of the paw before launching into a solo version of Goin’ to the Groomer. Then, the Barkettes joined her for Four Strong Paws, Halcyon Days, Puppy Love, I Will Follow Her, Perrito, Perrito, Sto Spiti Mou/At My House, It’s My Bone and I’ll Chew It If I Want To, and a jazzed-up version of Papa’s Got a Brand New Ball.

But the evening wasn’t just a nostalgic trip through the group’s greatest hits. Rumours that their recent studio work has included new music were confirmed in the second half of the show when they introduced three new songs: You Should Know By Now, Working Dog/Sporting Life, and Again.

Of course, one of the great highlights of the night occurred just before the concert’s end when Noreen joined the group onstage for a rousing rendition of Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed. Though she’d planned to sing only one song with her idols, the crowd called for encores and Noreen ended up singing her heart out all the way through Mud Season and Paws Across The Water.

One last surprise awaited the audience at the end of the night: after the group’s bows and thanks and encores and final exit, Thisbe returned for one last solo and sang I’ll Never Walk Alone to her adoring fans. When she was done, she had only two words left for the screaming crowd: “With gratitude,” she said.

Ditto.

Thisbe and the Barkettes return tonight to sing at The Wishing Well at 8:00 p.m.

OTD in 2015—Noreen to be Barkettes’ special guest at opening concert in The Park on May 8

By

NoreenNoreen will be the special guest of The Barkettes tonight at their opening concert in The Park, it was announced this morning.

The longtime fan and supporter of the singers will appear onstage in the second half of the performance, according to a press release issued this morning by the group’s manager Hilde Blaft. The release did not say whether or not Noreen will join in the singing.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier was the first journalist to land a sit-down interview with the group more than ten years ago. Since then, Noreen has given up her own dreams of becoming a Barkette in favour of her journalistic and academic career.

Last year, Noreen published her first book, Lovely To Look At: What Animals Should Know About Humans. She dedicated the book “To Thisbe and the Barkettes. For everything.”

Tonight’s concert begins at 8:00 p.m. at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

Click on the image to buy Noreen’s book.

OTD in 2015—Tickets for first Barkettes’ “Bring Your Own Bone” concert go on sale today

By

Barkettes ticket

NEWS FLASH!
Chew on this: Ticket sales for the first concert in Thisbe and the Barkettes’ ” Bring Your Own Bone,” tour go on sale at 10:00 a.m. this morning at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

In a text sent this morning at 6:00 a.m., the band’s manager Hilde Blaft confirmed that the first batch of tickets will be available for purchase today.

“Overjoyed to announce 1st concert date May8@Ancient Open-Air Theatre. Tix on sale@10 am.,” the text read.

The tour, presented by Iglu Entertainment, includes four concerts in The Park: two at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, one at the Wishing Well and one at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond. The Tartan Crab Memorial Pond concert will be free of charge.

Dates for the remaining three concerts have not yet been announced.

OTD in 2017: Thank you, thank you, thank you, and goodnight: Barkettes at work on memoir

By

halcyondaysThisbe and the Barkettes are at work on a memoir, according to the gossip web site headsNtales.

In a post dated today, the site’s co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo writes that she spoke to a musician “very close to Thisbe” who told her the singers are collaborating on a book that takes a “three hundred and sixty degree view” of their career.

Though Guacamayo did not name her source, many in the music business believe it to be a member of the Poodle duo Belles and Whistles, whom the Barkettes mentored secretly for years.

According to Guacamayo’s source, the project has been in the works for a while, but it didn’t begin as a book.

“The original idea was a television series, but with all their projects, the singers didn’t think they could commit to a filming schedule. They decided to switch to writing a book, because it didn’t require them to be in the same place or to keep a fixed schedule,” Guacamayo writes on the site.

If headsNtales is correct, perhaps we can look forward to reliving some of those halcyon days with the Barkettes.

On This Day—August 27, 2016: Belles and Whistles to join lineup at Beats of Burden festival in September

By

Beats of Burden logoThe Park’s newest singing duo, Belles and Whistles, confirmed today that they will be performing at this year’s Beats of Burden music festival in September.

The duo, who were secretly mentored by Thisbe and the Barkettes, made their début on June 30 at the Concert for Charity in honour of Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM). Since then, their manager Retriikka Spanieli says, they’ve been working on producing their first collection of songs, which they describe as “an eclectic mix.”

“The duo has an amazing range and an ability to perform in a multitude of genres,” Spanieli told The Mammalian Daily in a telephone interview.

According to Spanieli, the duo’s main goal at the moment is to convince audiences that they are their own musicians, and not an extension of the Barkettes.

“They love the Barkettes, as we all do, but they have an identity of their own and ambitions beyond becoming a carbon copy of The Park’s most successful singing group,” Spanieli said.

The Beats of Burden Music Festival takes place in The Park September 16-18, 2016.

 

On This Day—July 24, 2015: Barkettes issue invitation to bring Tartan Crab artefacts to Sunday concert

By

Barkettes #4 ticketDo you have a ticket to the Barkettes’ free concert at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond on Sunday?

Did you know the Tartan Crab?

If you or your family or friends knew the Tartan Crab and have any artefacts or memorabilia associated with the Tartan Crab, the Barkettes we would like you to bring it with you to their free concert on Sunday.

The following invitation was issued late this evening directly by Thisbe and the Barkettes:

Although the Tartan Crab was by no means a celebrity, to many in The Park he was a great friend and loyal family member. In addition to performing our free concert on Sunday, would like to honour his life by remembering him as he was from his birth to his untimely death.

We are, therefore, inviting all who knew the Tartan Crab and who have anything associated with him, such as pictures, his signature on a greeting card, or any of his possessions, to bring whatever you can to the concert and to participate in a pop-up memorial display. The display will be open for public viewing from 6:00 p.m., throughout the concert, and for one hour after the concert concludes.

Volunteers from the Park Historical Society will be on hand to aid you in adding your contributions to the memorial display. If you wish to participate, please arrive at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond at 4:30 p.m. and report to the reception desk that will be set up to receive artefacts. Rest assured that your possessions will be securely handled and guarded throughout.

Thank you. We look forward to seeing you and sharing your memories.

Thisbe and the Barkettes

Archons expected to announce funding for Barkettes museum by end of month

By

barkettes-all-the-hair-i-left-behindThe 2017 Archons are expected to announce funding for a Barkettes museum before the end of this month, a source close to the governing body has told The Mammalian Daily.

According to the source, Chief Archon Klarissa Kuttu put the project to a vote last week and it was unanimously passed. Funding for the museum is expected to be spread out over time and allocated in the next five budgets. Thisbe and the Barkettes were not consulted by the Archons, but they were made aware of the impending vote.

In October of 2015, the Canine Music Association teamed up with the Park Historical Society to push for a museum to honour the beloved group, who just this month donated a new song to the cause of enforced domestication awareness. CMA president R.F. Aarrf and Park Historical Society president Clark Cascanueces  called it a “travesty” that the Barkettes had not been honoured properly in The Park.

“The Barkettes broke the species barrier when it came to music and they paved the way for the success of all other Park musicians. We are long overdue in honouring them by keeping their accomplishments alive for the next generations,” Cascanueces said when he and Aarrf launched a petition to pressure the Archons to establish the museum.

Currently, the Barkettes retain possession of most of their memorabilia, but in April of 2015, they donated the original sheet music and some early drafts of the lyrics of “Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed” to The Park Museum.

All The Hair I Left Behind: Barkettes to donate new song to EDAM cause

By

barkettes-all-the-hair-i-left-behindOnce again demonstrating their generosity of spirit, Thisbe and the Barkettes have donated the proceeds from their newest song to the cause of Enforced Domestication Awareness.

In an open letter published today, The Park’s most famous Canine singing group said it would be “their great honour” to donate the proceeds of the song, “All The Hair I Left Behind” to the cause of preventing the enforced domestication of Animals.

“As you know, some of us in the group spent our youth as domestic Animals and although we were lucky enough not to have suffered in that situation, we are well aware of the plight of others,” the letter begins.

The new song, which was recorded in studio just a month ago, will be available for purchase at stores throughout The Park, as well as at all EDAM events. Sources also say a pop-up shop will open during June, but The Mammalian Daily could not confirm that with Rotunda Records, Iglu Entertainment, or the group’s manager, Hilde Blaft.

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

Join TMD on Facebook

Join TMD on Facebook

Click below to see what others say about us

CATCH UP HERE!

May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031